Rod frowned. “Yo Troy, last time we kicked it, you were bagging somebody new once a week!”
“What, two years ago? Cause I’ve been off that for a minute, bruh. Gotta grow up sometime.”
“Maybe now ain’t my time.”
“That’s exactly what we’re saying,” Carter told him, using his distracted state to get the ball from his hands. “Nothing wrong with being single, having fun, but you don’t need to drag women who obviously want something else from you along. You want Charlotte? Cool. You need to let Bria know you’re ready to move on. You want Bria? Cool. You need to stop leaving her hanging, and do right by her. Stop not being worth a damn.”
“What is this?” Rod asked. “Y’all on this new age emotional bullshit? Y’all feminists now too?” he laughed.
I sat back on the bench I was draped across, unfazed by what he’d intended as a jab. “It’s not even about all that – it’s about basic damn decency, not being a selfish asshole just because you can. You’re out here playing games, but you’d be sick as a damn dog if a dude with some common sense came along and showed Bria what it looked like when a real man wanted her.”
“Sick, and crying to mama,” Carter added, making Rod’s face twist in frustration.
“Man, fuck this,” he barked at us. “Ain’t nobody trying to hear this shit. I’ll see y’all at the house.” He didn’t even toss up a hand in parting as he stomped off to leave the park, with me and Carter laughing at his ass.
“He’ll be aiight,” Carter said. “Nobody did nothing except give him something to think about.”
“Oh I know,” I chuckled. “How much you wanna bet he’s about to go make sure Bria hasn’t gone cold on him.”
Carter grinned. “You see which direction he went didn’t you? It damn sure wasn’t towards my house.”
He tossed me the ball and we shot around a little bit more, stopping when Carter signaled that he was done – claimed his knees weren’t what they used to be anymore.
“Speaking of teaching the youth,” he started up out of nowhere, as we headed back to his house. “You took Viv’s advice? Made it right with Juliet?”
I groaned. “She told you about that, huh?”
“More like laughed herself into tears about it, but yeah. You two good now?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Viv told me to stay away, and I did at first, but then… I had to talk to her.”
Carter chuckled. “Damn, y’all close like that. Couldn’t miss a day, got your whole life off track?”
“Chill bruh. It wasn’t exactly like that. I got some news that I…. I guess I needed her help to process it.”
“News?” Carter asked, eyebrow raised, and I nodded.
“Uh… yeah. I did one of those ancestry test things, through this black-owned company, and they… found a match.”
He frowned. “Found a match? What does that mean?”
“It means that somebody else in my family had used that company for a test, so they had their DNA profile or whatever.”
“So like a blood relative?”
“Yeah. Specifically… a twin brother.”
Carter’s eyes bugged out wide as he stopped walking. “Yo – you fuckin’ serious man?”
“Yeah, I had the same reaction,” I laughed. “Shit didn’t even feel real. Still doesn’t feel real, even though they gave me his contact information and all that.”
“I bet it doesn’t,” he shook his head. “So I mean… where is he? What happened? Gimme the details bruh! I’m excited and shit like I found another brother.”
I sucked a bit of air in between my teeth as I cringed. “I… don’t know, actually. Haven’t quite yet worked up to looking at it. I’m going to though,” I assure him, and he nodded.
“Good. You should, cause that’s… this is what you’ve been looking for. At least since I’ve known you, you know? That was one of the first things your probation officer told me, when he came to vouch for you, asked me to hire you. That you’d be fine, that you just needed connection. That you needed a family.”
My head reared back. “He said that about me?”
“Yeah, he did,” Carter nodded. “Had high ass hopes for you, that he passed onto me, and you’ve surpassed, man. We’ve known each other what, seven years now? You were a damn kid, fresh outta jail, and I really feel like I watched you grow up. Glad to see good shit happening to you.”
“I appreciate you,” I told him, as we started walking again. “More than you know. I never really said anything about it because we weren’t tight like that, but that little outside vantage point of you and Viv getting together… watching how that changed you… it gave me a lot to think about. Gave me an example, you know? And then watching your family grow? Y’all having Bell, you making Viv your wife, seeing that y’all aren’t on that miserable shit people love to talk about… but you already know all this,” I laughed.
He bobbed his head. “Yeah, I do. And it’s funny man – you’re about the same age I was when me and Viv happened, but I was nowhere near as levelheaded as you. Not remotely. But I see you focused, I see you… trying to lock this thing with Juliet down?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know man. I like her, a lot. Like, on some “I don’t even know you that well, haven’t known you long, but this feels cosmic” type shit. The type of thing I used to roll my eyes about, but man… Jules just feels like… home. But I’m not sure she’s even on that.”
“Then you just mind your footsteps, that’s all,” Carter said. “Like… when it came to Viv, I knew. I didn’t want to know, and I tried to fight it, and ended up hurting her in the process, which took a long ass time to forgive myself for. But I knew. So if you’re feeling like that, just let it happen. No need to force it, or push, but nothing wrong with making yourself clear.”
My eyebrows wrinkled together. “Clear? Clear how?”
“I made the mistake of letting my feelings about Viv, and what she meant to me, be ambiguous,” he said, tossing the basketball between his hands. “Trust me – don’t do that. It may be putting yourself out there, but hey… nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
By the time we made it back to his house, I was ready to go home, so I could sort through my thoughts. Bell wasn’t having it though, especially since Rod hadn’t made it back, and she didn’t seem to really be feeling Charlotte.
As soon as he did though, I headed out while Bell’s attention was elsewhere. Only, instead of going straight home, I grabbed my phone to shoot Jules a text, hoping she wasn’t too busy to respond.
“Yo – you wanna see what one of those honeybuns is talking about?”
To my surprise, she hit me back almost immediately, with a response that made me grin.
“Great minds think alike. Meet me. I’m in that corner booth, at the back. I’ll save you a bite. – Jules.”
Nine.
“What if you’re like… the ugly twin?” I asked, making Troy stop walking to put a hand over his mouth as he laughed. I stopped too, turning to face him and pull him out of the way of what appeared to be a daycare group transporting a group of toddlers somewhere.
“We’re identical,” he reminded me, even though I hadn’t forgotten. “We look alike. There’s not an “ugly” one.”
I sucked my teeth. “You haven’t seen him yet, how would you know? And, for the record, just so you know, I’m gonna be pissed if he’s the fine one.”
“Damn, it’s like that?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“You still haven’t explained what could possibly make dude better-looking than me – which is damn near impossible, by the way – when we supposedly have the same damn face.”
I bit down on my lip, thinking about it. “Well… maybe he drinks more water or something? Uses better lotion. Works out more. Has a cooler haircut. Maybe he’s slightly taller than you, huh? Or hell, maybe he has “Property of Juliet Nichols” tattooed across his forehead. Let’s be honest here – my name increases the value of pretty much everything, so…”
/>
“Bring your pretty ass on,” he said, still laughing as he grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. I tried not to outwardly show how excited it made me, played it off by wrinkling my nose at him. Inside though? I was nothing but butterflies, and it had been like that for days now. I’d already been crushing on him, obviously, but the aftermath of our first little “spat”, and getting his ancestry results, had brought us… closer somehow.
Close enough that I was referring to us having a “first” anything, when we hadn’t even had a conversation about making anything official yet.
I wasn’t even sure I wanted that.
But it sure did feel good to be openly holding hands as he led me down the street, back towards my studio, after lunch.
“I wonder if your brother is gonna think I’m cute too,” I mused, putting a finger up to my cheek as I pretended to think. “I bet he won’t try to play me off with some garbage about checking out my hairstyle. I bet he can admit I’m fine with no issues.”
“Listen,” Troy stopped walking again, turning to get right in front of me as he dropped his hands to my waist. I grinned as he backed me against the side of the closest building, wearing a little smirk. “Brother or not, I’ll beat his ass over you, don’t be starting no—”
“Jules? Jules! Jules, baby is that you?!”
Oh my God!
I quickly slipped out of Troy’s grasp at the sound of my Aunt Darcy’s voice, trying in vain to look a little less like we were “together”, but I was already caught. She’d come out of the door to Posh Petals – the flower shop Troy had chosen for his little PDA – and was now wearing a huge grin.
“That is you,” she gushed, sweeping the glossy strands of her fresh silk-press out of her face to get a better look at Troy, who’d shoved his hands into his pockets – to keep them off of me in front of my aunt. “And who is this?” she asked, still looking at him, even though she was talking to me.
Maybe.
“Troy Baldwin, ma’am. Jules is a… friend of mine,” he told her, extending a hand to shake.
From the look on Aunt Darcy’s face as she accepted his hand, he may as well have called me his wife, because she was undoubtedly plotting a wedding in her head.
Why me, God?
“Uh, Troy, meet my Aunt Darcy, Anika’s mother. Aunt Darcy, this is Troy… a friend.”
“He already introduced himself dear,” she told me with a smirk, still holding Troy’s hand. “With a nice firm hand too, I like that. And palms like these? What do you do, baby?”
Baby? She’s already calling him baby?
“I’m a barber,” he told her. “So… I guess I do technically work with my hands.”
Aunt Darcy’s eyes narrowed a bit, like he’d said something that sparked a new question, but we didn’t need more questions, not ever.
Not ever.
“Uh, Troy, didn’t you have somebody coming in to see you in just a few minutes?” I asked, hoping he’d take the hint that I was trying to separate him from Darcy. To my delight, he did, a smile playing on his lips as he nodded.
“Yes, actually. I should probably head on. It was nice to meet you, Aunt Darcy,” he said, giving her a little bow that made her grin big. And he knew what he was doing, calling her that, knowing the fantasies it was going to set off in her head. The wink he gave me just before he turned to leave confirmed it, and I shot daggers at his back with my eyes until I was grabbed by the shoulders and turned around.
“Young lady,” Aunt Darcy started, barely able to contain her smile. “He is gorgeous. You tell me everything, and you tell it to me right now,” she insisted, folding her arms.
“Auntie please,” I begged, but she shook her head.
“Uh-uh. No way, no how, no ma’am. You’re gone tell me where you found that man honey, pushing you up against the wall like that. I know what that is, and I know what it’s about lil’ girl, so you just get those lips ready to talk.”
“But there’s nothing to talk aboutttt,” I tried, pouting as she grabbed my hand to pull me the rest of the way to the studio. I unlocked the doors, and once we were inside, she looked out the window.
To the barbershop across the street.
“Oh girl,” she chuckled, putting a hand on her chest. “You have so much to tell me about.”
“I mean, do I really though, considering that there’s not even really anything going on between me and Troy? We aren’t a for real couple, we just… look really great together, and love being around each other, and have amazing sex, but that’s all, you know?”
Neither of us said anything for a few seconds, and I hope that meant she was convinced. It only took a quick glance at her face to know otherwise.
“Come here. Let’s talk about this,” she said, grabbing my hand again to lead me to the couch in the waiting area. “I want you to tell me why you wouldn’t want to be “official” with this young man. Do you think there’s someone else? Does he not treat you as well as you deserve? Is he—”
“None of that, Auntie,” I told her, shaking my head. “I took all your lessons about dating, and love, to heart. Troy is… great. Honestly, he is. I guess I just… I don’t want to… Hell, I don’t know,” I whined. “I’m so confused! When I moved here, it was because I was tired of Cali, I wanted to be back here, close to my family. It was time for me to start my business, and I knew I only wanted to start it in one place. That’s all it was supposed to be about – you guys, and Love Notes. Men were not ever a part of that equation, unless it was just about sex, and that’s all it was supposed to be with Troy. But it’s like… I’m just drawn to him, in a way that I can’t help, and he makes me feel a way that I’ve never felt. I like him. And it’s… exhilarating. And confusing. And I want to say terrifying, but that’s not true. I’m not scared at all, and that – the lack of fear – is alarming.”
Aunt Darcy sat back, grinning as she nodded. “Oh boy. You’re reminding me of when I met your uncle, with his big fine ass. Me and my lil’ friends were out at a football game, being fast in our lil’ shorts. Your mama was there too. Will played for the opposing team – our rivals, goddamn Wild Cats. And girl, they whipped our ass. And your Uncle… baby he didn’t care about getting booed for coming up into our stands, still wearing his uniform. He came and stood right in front of me, told me, “I been looking for a pretty chocolate thang like you. You gone be my wife, watch.”
“Oh my God. Why have I never heard this story?! Has Anika heard this story?!’
Darcy smirked as she shook her head. “Nah, I don’t ever tell it, cause your uncle is embarrassed by this next part.”
“Next part? What did you do?”
“Girl I socked him right in his eye. Told that man, I don’t fuck Wild Cats, especially not no light-skinned one with curly hair.”
I clutched the front of my shirt as my shout of laughter turned into a cackle. “No you didn’t, oh my God!”
“I sure as hell did, and didn’t feel bad about it. Who the hell you think you are, coming in my face in that black and orange uniform telling me what I’m gone do?! And you wanna know how that man responded?”
I stopped laughing long enough to nod. “Uh, I have to know.”
“He laughed. His big ass didn’t even flinch, even though his eye started turning purple right there. He told me, “Ain’t nobody scared of you, woman. You watch what I said.” And then he turned around and left. He didn’t argue, didn’t try to convince me, didn’t get all mad, even though he could’ve. He just turned and walked off, left me standing there with my hand hurting from his rock head.”
I snickered. “You wanted him then, didn’t you?”
“Oh girl I wanted him bad,” she laughed. “If you’d seen his butt in those lil’ tight football pants, you would’ve wanted him too.”
“Ewwww!”
She sucked her teeth. “There wasn’t a damn thing “ewww” about that, I’ll tell you that much. But coming back to the point, we were inseparable after that. The campuses were a
cross the street from each other, so we were always at one or the other, me and Will, Doreen and Robert.”
My eyebrows went up. “Like my father, Robert?”
“The very same,” she told me, smiling. “Will and your daddy were good friends. Looked enough alike to be brothers, and acted like it too. Will was heartbroken when your Daddy died… promised him he’d take care of you. That’s why it was so easy for him to take you on as a daughter after my sister… lost her mind, I guess.”
Aunt Darcy stopped speaking, to shake her head.
“But that was all a long time ago. Right here and now, sounds like you have a decision to make. And I hope you don’t let stubbornness lead you to the wrong one.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know… is it being stubborn, or is it being cautious?”
“Why be either, when you could be happy? And I don’t mean temporary happiness. Not the kind where you know it’s not good for you, but you keep indulging anyway. I’m talking about deep happiness, where you’re blooming and blossoming and comfortable in your skin. And if there’s a certain someone who adds to that, instead of taking away, well, what the hell is wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” I agreed. “It sounds wonderful, and I know it’s possible, because that’s what I feel like I see with you and Uncle Will, but… it’s just hard to wrap my head around it, for me. You have to have a certain level of trust, and I just…” I stopped speaking to shrug, trying to swallow the sudden lump in my throat, and the emotional crack in my voice. “When the people you’re supposed to be able to trust implicitly let you down… it’s hard to let anybody else even close to that space. For years, it has been so easy for me to make superficial connections. Never get close enough for the other stuff. I had you, and Uncle Will, and Anika – my proven riders. I didn’t need anybody else.”
Darcy nodded. “And with Troy… it’s not as easy to keep him out?”
“Auntie, I can’t even bring myself to try. It’s like I’m standing at the wide-open door with a welcome sign. “Come right on in, pussy served on a platter, twenty-four hours a day!””
Love Notes (Equilibrium Book 1) Page 17
