by Jenn Faulk
“That’s a good word, Tate,” Hannah said softly. “Doing what we can to make it possible for all people to be a part of the body.”
Edie turned and looked at her. “Really? It’s a heater!”
Hannah raised an eyebrow at her and opened her mouth to counter this, but Tate cut them both off.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said, leaning down to kiss Edie. “In plenty of time for dunch.”
And with that, he was gone again.
Is this what the rest of their life together would be like? She tried to remember what it had been like at the church she and Tate had been a part of in Houston, back when they’d been dating. He’d been the interim pastor, a stand in who preached on Sundays and did a few pastoral duties, holding the place steady while the church prepared to find and hire their next long-term pastor. Had it been like this there? Had the church owned him so thoroughly and treated him so poorly?
She shook her head at the thought, remembering nothing but kindness from that church. Those had been good days, so good that she wished she was back there, that she was back at the church they’d loved, the church that had loved them. She missed her job, too, working with her boss, Glen, at the Elvis theater All Shook Up, creating shows that were so phenomenal and fun that work didn’t ever feel like work, not like every day felt at the high school where she fumbled through what she was doing, desperately working in her off hours to be more prepared for her students and still feeling completely inadequate when the time to teach arrived.
“If you find something you love to do,” Glen had told her once when they were working on adjusting some of the lights in the theater, arguably one of the worst parts of the job, “then you’ll never work a day in your life, Edie.”
He’d looked down from his perch on the ladder as she’d handed him up a pair of pliers.
“I love doing this,” she said. “Even this. But are you sure it wouldn’t be better for us to call an electrician and make sure we don’t electrocute ourselves?”
“Been doing this since before you were born,” Glen had said, waving her concerns away, switching out tools and squinting at what he was doing. “And like I said, I love every part of this job, so it’s not even like it’s work.”
“It’s that way with Tate,” Edie had said, unable to keep from smiling.
“Oh, good grief,” Glen had sighed. “Here we go with another episode of the soap opera that is you and the barista.”
“Barista is just his side job,” Edie had corrected him, thinking of how wonderful it was that Tate was managing the coffee shop in the theater, how it gave her even more time to spend with him. “His more full-time job these days is the church where he’s interim pastor.”
“The church,” Glen murmured, holding his hand out for yet another tool, which Edie provided without even needing direction.
“He loves being a pastor,” she’d said. “It probably doesn’t even feel like work for him. Just like you said.”
“And what is that going to mean for you?” Glen had asked.
“What do you mean what is it going to mean for me?”
“Don’t pastors move around a lot?” Glen asked.
Well… sometimes.
“I guess so.”
“And with the way you talk, I’m guessing that you’re imagining some kind of future with this kid, that you’re going to go where he goes.”
She’d considered this as she’d handed Glen yet another tool. “It does.”
“And will you find work there that you love so much that it doesn’t feel like work?”
She wouldn’t find another place like this, likely. And it would be hard to say goodbye to Glen, to the job she enjoyed so much here.
But she would do it, she’d resolved.
“It would be worth it to be where Tate is, to be alongside him as he does what he loves.”
Glen had smiled knowingly. “Well, then, when you give up everything to be where he is…”
He’d stopped and studied her carefully.
“What, you old grouch?” she’d asked, not liking that know-it-all look on his face.
“When you give up everything to be where he is, to follow him so that he can do what he loves… well, let’s hope that he keeps loving what he’s doing, huh?”
She’d not thought it through at the time. Not completely. But sitting at the parsonage not even a year later, she really considered what Glen had said, where they were, how much she had given up…
She’d given up a lot. But she’d done it because it was the right thing. What she hadn’t expected, though, was that even in doing the right thing she still felt some resentment for where they were, for how Tate was being treated, and for how lonely she felt.
Lonely even now, here in a room with some of her closest family members, all because Tate had gone back to the church.
“We should do something, Edie,” Hannah said, meeting her sister’s gaze, understanding in the look they exchanged. “Something like I did in China at the Christmas meals I had for my friends.”
And though Edie knew it wasn’t said as a reminder to put her mind to more eternal things – like her sister who had given her whole life to sharing Christ overseas always did – instead of her momentary irritation with both her husband and the church they were serving, Edie still heard the gentle rebuke from God as she took in the words.
She would worry about Tate, the church, and God’s plan for her life another time.
“Let’s do that,” she said, attempting a smile that didn’t feel genuine or authentic either one.
~Lucy~
They all sat around the table, as Hannah explained to them how every Christmas in China had been full of opportunities for gospel conversations and how she’d told the Christmas story from scripture at each and every one of those meals every year.
Whether she’d brought it up to distract everyone from the obvious tension between Edie and Tate or simply to keep Bethany, who was getting antsy in Jude’s lap, entertained, it had been a welcome moment when she opened up the Bible on her phone and began telling the story, calling Bethany to her side and having her help dramatize the whole thing.
Pretty soon, even Edie had been smiling with the rest of them as they watched Bethany dramatically act out the parts – as an innkeeper telling the parents of Jesus that there was no room at the inn, an angel heralding the birth of the savior to shepherds in the fields, and even Mary holding her infant close.
It was that last one, Bethany cuddling a stuffed animal close as though it was a baby, that had Lucy’s mind rushing back to her nausea, to Edie’s questions earlier that morning…
Edie, who watched her knowingly as she pushed away Bethany’s plate, feeling sick at the very sight of the food still left there.
Bethany and Hannah finished their reading, breaking Lucy’s gaze away from Edie’s, and the whole table burst into applause as Hannah took Bethany’s hand in hers and both of them bowed with a flourish.
Lucy smiled to see Bethany gazing up at Hannah with adoration in her eyes. And why wouldn’t she? Hannah had been wonderful with her from the moment she stepped in this morning, helping her with food, sitting her stuffed animals up at the table alongside her, and speaking to her with such kindness and tenderness.
“You’re going to be a wonderful mother one day,” Lucy said, knowing that it was true.
The look on Hannah’s face, though, was subdued as she took this in.
“Well, there are a lot of steps between now and then, God willing,” she said softly.
Before she could comment on this, Edie was on her feet. “Hey, that reminds me, Lucy. I have something for you over… well, back here.”
And with that, she was walking out of the kitchen.
What in the world?
“Okay, then,” Lucy said, getting to her feet as well and rushing to follow Edie. Maybe she needed to vent to someone about Tate, and who better than Lucy, who had known him his whole life, who knew what a little turkey he could be? Luc
y mentally prepared herself for the talk – I know, Tate can be a dolt sometimes, but you gotta love the guy’s heart – as she followed Edie through the master bedroom and into the small attached bathroom.
Well, this was a weird place for a heart to heart, she thought as Edie rummaged around in a cabinet, but she would roll with it. Besides, it was probably good to be this close to a toilet since even now, Lucy felt a bit like throwing up, just like she had all morning with all of that food lying around –
Edie handed her a box.
Lucy blinked down at it, her mind slowly catching up.
A pregnancy test.
Pregnancy test?
Oh.
Oooohhhhh.
“No,” she said, already holding it back out.
“I know, I know,” Edie said. “It’s already open. But there were two tests in there, Lucy. I took the other one a few months back and had no need for the second. It’s like God ordained that Tate would pick up a double pack for just this moment in time, when you clearly need to take one.”
“But I…” Lucy struggled for an answer. “I don’t think I…”
What? That you’re pregnant? That you want to know? That you can’t wait one minute more to find out what’s going on?
“I don’t think I can do this,” she said, thinking that that statement could mean several things, praying that Edie wouldn’t ask her to clarify.
“You can’t pee on a stick?” Edie said. “Do you need Jude to bring you some water?”
“Pee on a stick?” Lucy asked, horrified, glancing down at the box. “Is that what you have to do with one of these things?”
“Well, yeah. Haven’t you already done one of these before?” Edie asked, frowning as she reached into the box that Lucy held and pulled out the remaining stick. “To find out that you were expecting Bethany, I mean.”
“I never took one with Bethany,” Lucy sighed, remembering the shock of that pregnancy discovery. “I went to the doctor for an annual exam. They did a blood test when they saw how long I’d been without a period…”
“How long was that?”
“Like, three months.” Lucy cringed as soon as the words left her mouth.
“You went three months without a period and never thought something was up?” Edie asked, aghast.
Yes, that was fairly stupid in hindsight. But she’d just lost her mother, she was a newlywed, she was just nineteen, and she’d never even imagined, not in her wildest dreams, that she’d get pregnant on the pill.
She and Jude were more careful now. She was still on the pill, but they charted these things and took greater precautions at certain points in Lucy’s cycle. Not like any of that had helped in the least if she was, in fact, pregnant again.
How were they this fertile?!
“I’d never been regular before I got married,” Lucy shrugged. “And I was on the pill. And I was still not regular, even with that. So when I skipped a few months, I just figured it was more of the same. But now…”
“Now there are other symptoms,” Edie finished. “You’re obviously exhausted, you get sick at the sight of food, you look like death –”
“Nice, Edie,” Lucy said, feeling more and more like death the longer she thought about how the past few weeks had been going, how tired she was…
So many other symptoms began coming to mind.
“Well, I didn’t mean it like that,” Edie said apologetically.
“You’re right, though. I probably don’t even need to test,” Lucy said honestly. “I’m tired all the time. I’m sick every morning. Even the taste of toothpaste makes me gag these days. And my boobs hurt, too. And they’re bigger than normal. Not that I noticed, but Jude sure has commented on it.”
“You look amazing,” Edie said with a smile.
“You just said I look like death,” Lucy corrected her.
Edie waved this away as if it didn’t matter. “Voluptuous death.”
Lucy was hardly listening, though, reaching in the box and pulling out the instruction sheet, knowing that she had to do this now or she would spend the rest of Christmas wondering.
But she already knew, didn’t she?
“Well, anyway,” she said, shrieking inwardly at all that was becoming clearer and clearer by the moment, “it’s obvious enough that I could forego the test, which is good because all the instructions are in… what language is this?”
The two women studied the instructions together.
“That’s Chinese!” Edie shouted. “It’s your lucky day!”
“How is that lucky?” Lucy asked.
“Hannah is fluent in Chinese,” Edie said. “Who knew that would come in handy for something like this?” And with that, Edie was walking back out of the bathroom and calling Hannah from the hallway.
When they both came back into the bathroom, with Hannah looking to Lucy questioningly, Edie cut in again.
“Tell her how you speak Chinese!”
“Uh, is there a reason why we’re all in the bathroom?” Hannah asked.
“Chinese!” Edie repeated.
“Well, okay, yeah, I speak Mandarin,” she said, shrugging. “It’s a cool party trick, I guess. I’m not sure what it has to do with being in your bathroom, Edie, but –”
“Go ahead, Hannah,” Edie continued on. “Tell Lucy what it says about peeing on the stick.”
Hannah’s eyes grew even wider.
“Do you even know the Mandarin word for pee?” Lucy asked skeptically.
“It comes up more often than you would think,” Hannah said. “But seriously, what’s going on?”
“Lucy thinks she’s pregnant,” Edie said.
And at this, Hannah’s features relaxed. “Oh, well, that… there’s a test then? And the instructions are in Chinese?”
“Exactly,” Edie said, grinning. “You’re so smart, Hannah.”
“Didn’t you take a pregnancy test not too long ago yourself, though?” Hannah asked her sister. “So recently that you probably remember exactly how to do it, negating the need for me to translate anything? Not that it sounds all that complicated anyway.”
At this, Lucy looked at Edie. Edie looked at Lucy.
“Pregnancy brain,” Edie said with a sigh. “And you, too, Lucy! We both have pregnancy brain!”
“No need to test,” Lucy agreed.
“But you will,” Edie said. “You uncap this part, pee right here, and that’s it.”
And with that, she handed the test to Lucy and pointed grandly towards the toilet.
“Okay, yeah,” Lucy said. “I think I’m actually going to do this in the guest bathroom, and I should probably let Jude know what’s up.”
“Of course, of course,” Hannah said. “We’ll go hang out with Bethany.”
So they made their way out of Edie and Tate’s room, with Lucy deviating towards the living room where Jude and Bethany were singing Christmas songs together in Afrikaans like they didn’t have a care in the world (seriously, didn’t Jude know they were in the middle of a crisis?!), and frantically motioning to the former so that he would follow her.
“Ladies,” he said, as the two of them walked past Edie and Hannah, who watched them with apparent anticipation as they went to go play with Bethany. A few seconds later, Lucy got to the bathroom and turned to him, frowning when he hesitated to come in with her.
“A little help?” she asked, reaching out and pulling him in, not wanting to wait a single second longer.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
She flung the test right in front of his face, watching as it took him a few seconds to figure out what was going on.
“Oh,” he said, calmly, coolly. Then, as it really struck him, “Oh!”
“Exactly my thoughts,” she said. “In fact, I think that’s exactly what I said when I first saw this test as well.”
“Is it positive?” he asked.
“I haven’t taken it yet,” she said, already shimmying out of her jeans.
“You’re going to take it w
ith me in here?” he asked, having the gall to look horrified.
“Really?” she asked, making a face as she dropped her jeans right to the floor with a flourish. “Like you haven’t seen it all before, which is why we’re in this mess now, both of us together. You had as much to do with this as I did, so I think –”
“I can just step outside for a moment, give you your privacy –”
“I’ve birthed your child, Jude,” she said, uncapping the stick and letting out a mighty sigh. “And I just might be doing it again. I think we traded in modesty with one another a long, long time ago. Hence the need for a pregnancy test.”
He couldn’t argue with that now, could he?
He still squirmed uncomfortably as she took the test but was good to take it from her when she was done, capping it once more before placing it on the edge of the sink, murmuring to her encouragingly as she straightened out her clothes and washed her hands.
“And now we wait,” she said.
“How long?” he asked, staring at the test as if to will it to work immediately, both hands on the countertop, his face settled into a grim expression.
“A few minutes, maybe?” she said, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. “We probably should have gone ahead and read the Chinese.”
“The Chinese?” Jude asked, turning to her with a frown.
“Jude, sit with me,” she said, not bothering to explain, simply reaching out for his hand. “Help get my mind off of this. Off of all of this.”
“Will be hard for me to do that,” he sighed as he sat down, putting his arm around her and drawing her close. “Since this is all that’s on my mind now. How did this happen?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “The pill is completely worthless. We knew that from Bethany, but I was hopeful that it might work this time. And if not that, then all the other precautions we took –”
“The charting, the condoms –”
“Useless! All of it!” she said, truly good and freaked out at this point. “It’s like nothing can stop us from conceiving a child, no matter what we try!”
Jude was grinning smugly now. “Botha men, you know. I guess we’re just better than most.”