by Katy Evans
“God,” we say, in unison, as he stays in me. Unmoving for a second. Two. Three.
He slides his nose down mine.
My breath is his breath.
My want is his want.
My heart is his own.
I can’t even reason with those thoughts right now. My walls ripple around him even as he pulses inside me. He groans as if he can’t take it any longer. Wraps an arm around my ass, clutching my ass cheeks as he pulls out ever so slowly, then slams back in, hip-to-hip.
And we groan again. My groan muffled when he sticks his tongue into my mouth. And we start to have a tongue fucking fest to the same rhythm of his hips, pushing him as fast and hard inside me as he can go.
And it’s only then that I admit that I’m in some very deep trouble with Miles Foster, the best man.
But I’ll be damned if I can stop now.
6:18 AM, December 7
You coming, Lia? You coming for me?
Miles…!
Come for me, Lia. Jesus, you’re gorgeous, look at me when you come…
I did.
And just the look in his eyes undid me.
God. I’ve been eaten alive, and I love it.
“Hey,” Miles says gently, sliding his thumb under my chin and tilting my face to his. “You okay?”
Suddenly it all hits me. Everything. The fact that it feels so right in his arms, that I never want to leave them. The fact that I’m wet and half naked, smelling of him while he smells of me, my lips raw from his kisses and my heart sore from what I feel.
I shake my head and wrap my arms tighter around him. My tears fall over his favorite shirt, wetting the shoulder and making a small mess. “I don’t know.”
I don’t know anything right now.
All I know is that I don’t regret a thing we’ve just done. And I think that makes me a horrible person.
“Just hold me.”
He does. He draws me closer and kisses the shell of my ear, licks away the tears from the corners of my eyes and my cheeks. Nuzzling my neck and groaning, he whispers, “I can’t believe you’re in my arms.”
“Neither can I,” I whisper. I love it there, in this little cocoon of warmth with him. It feels so perfect. So meant to be. I thought the wedding would make my life complete, but I can’t imagine anything more complete than being here, with him, like this.
I also can’t fucking believe what I just did.
My tears become a waterfall.
Holy hell. Did I just fuck the best man on my wedding day?
I am a walking, talking tragedy.
“Even if it isn’t going to last.” His voice is suddenly so hollow, it shakes me.
He thinks I’m crying for Aaron? I lift myself up and peer into his eyes. “What do you mean?”
He lifts my hand and plants a kiss on my knuckles. “I know you, Lia. You said you love him. You’ve been with him for five years. You know him better than you know me. Your whole family is waiting for you to marry him. You don’t just give that up.”
I stare at him, something hard and caustic growing in the pit of my stomach. “And what? You’ll just disappear again? That worked out so well for you the first time.”
“What can I do? Yeah, you might not be out of my system. I’m too far gone for that. I knew that going in. But maybe I’m out of yours.”
I cross my arms, wiping my wet cheeks, hating this whole situation. “You’re not.”
“All right. But sooner or later, you might be. And how many times have you broken up with Aaron in the past?”
I frown. He’s looking at me, expecting an answer, but I’d have to count. It’s more than five. College relationships are hard. He was the only one in his frat who had a serious girlfriend. Everyone else was hooking up, getting together, breaking up the next weekend…so we got caught up in that. We weren’t exactly stable. “Well, a lot, but what’s your point?”
“How many times has he cheated on you?’
“Well…” I swallow. Why is he going into this now? “If you count the time at the bachelor party, two, but—”
“You know that’s not true.”
I straighten my spine. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Aaron told me about it. You kept breaking up with him because you suspected he was cheating on you.”
I push on his chest, pushing myself away from him. Aaron told him? So is that what I was? This amusing joke he could tell his brothers about? All this time, he would tell Miles how shittily he treated me, just to hurt him, and me?
“And the thing was, every single time, you were right. Every time you were home, visiting your family? He didn’t keep his bed empty. But he’d tell you the things you wanted to hear, explain it all away, and you’d take him back. Because you believed what you wanted to believe, not what you knew was true.”
I find my leggings and panties on the ground and slip into them, feeling remarkably numb, considering. That chapter of my life is over, even if it isn’t over for Aaron. “You’re saying he played me for a fool all these years, and you just let it happen. Is that it?”
“I never thought you were a fool. I thought you were in love with him. I thought he didn’t deserve you, and I couldn’t understand why you didn’t think you deserved more.”
“You? Is that what I deserved?”
He shrugs.
“I’m used to being treated like shit, Miles. So you probably could treat me that way and I’d put up with it. I mean, I thought you were sometimes unkind to me because I misinterpreted your distance, but the truth is that you always took care of me in ways not even Aaron did. You’ve been so good to me for the past five years that I wasn’t yours. How do I know that you won’t treat me the way Aaron treated me, the second I tell you I’m yours?”
“You really think I’d do that?”
“I—I don’t know.”
“I guess you don’t know me well enough, then. Even after five years.” He tucks his cock into his pants and shrugs. “That’s why I know. You’ll go back to him cause it’s what you do.”
“No,” I cry. Because I shouldn’t. Because I don’t need to fall into that habit again.
“I’m only speaking from what I know. I know you want the wedding. And it’s there, waiting for you, over the mountain. It’s everything you want.”
“Not everything.” Because I want something more.
“It’s the most important thing to you.”
I cross my arms over myself. “Don’t think you know me so well.”
He hitches a shoulder, a challenge in his eyes. “Prove me wrong. No one will be happier than me if you do.”
“Maybe I will be the happiest of all.” I meet that challenge in his eyes with a look of defiance.
He stands up and grabs my wrists, pinning them above me against the wall. “We could turn and go back down the mountain toward Boulder. Run away together.”
I laugh, but he’s not laughing.
“Stop. You know we can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re too anal. And I’m a planner. When I do spontaneous things, I usually end up fucking something up.”
“Like now?”
I capture his cool blue eyes with mine. “No. Not now. This is something five years in the making.”
“But it’s also why you’ll marry him. Because you hate it when shit doesn’t go to plan.”
I wish I could say he’s wrong about that. But he’s not.
He must see it in my eyes. That little seed of doubt and confusion in me. My mind planning for one thing, my heart screaming for another. My very fear that every time I think I have it figured out, something goes wrong to prove me hopeless.
He groans and kisses my neck again, and as I tilt my head back and let him ravage my throat, wishing we could just run away like he says, when a flash of orange hits my eyes.
A shaft of orange sunlight, streaming through the glass of the double doors.
“Sun!” I say excitedly, pointing.
<
br /> As he turns to look at it, I realize the reason for me to be excited over that development doesn’t exist. Actually, I should be dreading that, now, because it means that the second we get off this mountain, I have to face my family and friends and tell them why we called off the wedding.
And sooner or later, I will have to face Aaron.
Oh, god.
Will he beg me?
Will he convince me to marry him after all?
Do I want him to convince me? Or do I just want him to try so I can finally say, no thank you. You’re no good for me, and I think I know what I want, what I truly want, and what truly wants me back at last…?
I try to reach for Miles again, because maybe we don’t have to enter the real world. Maybe we can stay here for fifteen minutes, an hour, a lifetime more, the two of us, in this protective little oasis that I’d once believed was a prison.
But he pulls away from me too quickly, tucking his shirt into his jeans and heading for the door. “Yeah. Would you look at…”
He stops when he reaches the door and peers out. His body tenses.
“Holy shit,” he murmurs as I comb my fingers through my hair and hook the clasp on the back of my bra. “Guess the road to the lodge must be clear.”
“Really?” I ask, slipping on my t-shirt, standing beside him and peering out. “How do you—”
I freeze.
A familiar hunter-green Jeep is pulling into the plowed lot at a breakneck speed, going so fast, it’s fishtailing despite the four-wheel-drive.
Aaron’s Jeep.
So it appears that I’m going to have to face him sooner than I thought.
7:08 AM, December 7
Aaron jumps out of the Jeep, burying his face in his jacket to ward off the whipping wind as he heads straight for us like a bullet fired from a gun.
Shit, meet the fan.
I back away from the door like it’s a wall of fire. “Oh, god. Miles…”
He draws in a sharp breath. “It’s okay.”
But I can’t even…Aaron is here.
He came all this way.
So the wedding can’t be as done as I thought.
And I’m trying to decide which one of our necks he’s going to try to wring first.
I look over at Miles, who’s gazing out the window, his eyes narrowed. He jerks back and his eyes find mine, already punishing me for what he knows I’m about to do.
The door flies open, and Aaron appears. His eyes fall on Miles first. “What the actual fuck, Foster? Did you fuck her?”
Miles holds his hands up.
“Answer me! Did you fuck my fiancée on our wedding day?”
He rockets across the room and shoves Miles hard, in the chest. Miles takes a step back and raises his hands in defense. He’s his normal calm self, so admirably together, while I’m shaking like a leaf. “Man. Chill out.”
“I’m not going to chill out until we’ve thrown down, brother,” he growls, raising his fists. His voice is low and lethal, unlike I’ve ever heard. “And I’ve ripped your fucking head off. She’s about to be my wife! What the fuck lies have you been feeding her, you motherfucker?”
“Aaron!” I shout. “Don’t!”
Both men glance at me. Miles’ posture stiffens, but his eyes soften. “Lia—”
I try to step between them but Aaron grabs me first, pulling me behind him so hard that I stumble back. “Lia. Back off. Let me finish him.”
“No!” I try to move but he grabs ahold of my shoulder and keeps me immobile.
“Lia. Stay out of this.”
Miles’ hands are still up in a defensive posture. His eyes are cold on his best friend. Aaron’s probably banking on Miles not coming at him, because I’ve seen the two of them fight. Miles is bigger and more built. He has always looked like he could topple Aaron with one hand behind his back, like he was letting Aaron win, because Aaron cared about winning more. “We should talk when you’ve calmed down and have your shit together.”
“My shit together?” He scoffs and rubs both of his eyes. “You’re fucking my fiancée and you want me to get my shit together?”
Aaron charges, but I grab the back of his shirt before he can and shout, “Don’t you harm a hair on each other’s heads or I swear to god, I’ll finish both of you!”
Miles backs away. He shoots me a dark look and shakes his head almost imperceptibly as Aaron rushes him.
I manage to throw myself between them again, stopping both of them in their tracks. Aaron wraps an arm around my waist and pins me to his side.
“You know what, man. You’re not worth it.” He sweeps an eye over me as if to check for damage. “Lia, you’re coming with me. You and I can discuss this on the ride.”
“But I—”
Miles moves forward to stop him from taking me away, but Aaron reaches out a hand, shoving him back.
“Don’t. You’re not welcome anywhere near the lodge, Foster. Go home.”
“Aaron!” I wrench my arm away from him. “Would you just—”
He wags a warning finger in my face. “Not until we’re on our way. We’ll be late other—”
“But I don’t want to marry you!”
He glances at Miles with disgust and puts his hands on both of my shoulders. “I know. I get that. But you’re not thinking straight. Listen, Lia. He’s been telling you lies, and you owe me the chance to let me explain myself. I promise, Lia. If you just come with me, you’ll see.”
He smooths my hair, and his brown eyes plead with me.
I have to give him a chance…don’t I? I can’t let five years go, just like that.
I am so fucking confused right now, I don’t know what to do.
All I know is that I’ve never trusted Aaron, but I’ve always trusted Miles.
I take a step toward him. “I’m…”
But when I glance at Miles, he’s shaking his head. As if disappointed because he knows I mean to go.
And then he speaks. Says, “Go. Lia. Just…go.”
He’s letting me go. Just like that.
Aaron’s pulling me to the door. He yanks it open and guides me outside. I try to glimpse Miles again, but Aaron’s in my way.
Outside, the sun is rising and the snow is glistening everywhere. I never thought I’d say it, but it’s truly beautiful.
“Where are your shoes?”
I blink in the blinding sunshine and realize he’s talking to me. “I, um…wore flip-flops. And I lost one of them in the snow.”
He doesn’t offer to pick me up, and I don’t want him to. I’m confused enough as it is and if he touches me, it’ll only make things worse. So I brave the walk to the lot. My feet sink into the snow, but this time, they don’t even burn. I’m numb.
Aaron packs me into the Jeep and throws the car into drive. He starts to pull away.
I glance back at the rest stop building, hoping to see Miles. But I don’t. Aaron really is going to leave Miles here. “Aaron, you can’t…”
“Yeah, I can. I’m too pissed right now. I can’t look at him.”
“But how’s he—”
“Jesus, Lia! He’s a grown man. He’ll figure it out!” he snaps, jamming his hands on the steering wheel. “Is he really that good?”
I stare at him. “What?”
“You heard me. You think I didn’t know? The way you looked at him? The way he looked at you? It went on for five fucking years. I always felt like the odd man out. Always staring at each other like you couldn’t wait to jump each other’s bones, the second you two were alone.”
“I don’t…” I stop as it dawns on me. “You thought I was cheating on you with Miles?”
He pounds the steering wheel. “I don’t know! I don’t fucking know. But you two are the people I’m closest to…so I didn’t know. I can maybe stand losing one of you. Not both.”
“Wait. You planned that whole thing? Sending us together like that? As some sort of test?”
“Of course not. But somehow I always knew this would happen.”
He drives on a little while, silent. The roads are snow-covered and slick, but passable. Whatever accident was backing up cars on the bottom of the mountain is gone now. We pass a few cars going the other way.
The four-wheel-drive on his Jeep traverses the snow easily, so it’s nowhere near as treacherous as last night. But Aaron’s always been a little more reckless of a driver, and he’s going fast, so I’m gripping the door handle.
“I fucked everything up, Lia. I know that. I treated you like shit. You are such an amazing woman and I know I haven’t always been the man you deserve.” He reaches his hand over and touches my cheek. “But I love you. More than anything. I swear, before I was just going through the motions. But when I thought I could lose you this morning, it woke me up. And I want to marry you, in five hours. I want you to be Mrs. Dahlia Eberhart.”
“I…I…” I’ve never felt so confused.
“We have something good, Lia. We’ve had it for five years. No, it wasn’t perfect, but it was good. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have said yes when I proposed. And do you really want to disappoint your mom and dad? Your family? My family? I know I don’t want to disappoint them, Lia. They love you. They want you to be an Eberhart, too. You belong with us.”
“I know…” The Eberharts took me in like family.
Bile rises in my throat.
My stomach clenches as I think of my father. My mother. I’m sure they’re going insane right now. And to call the wedding off? How can I do that? Not to mention the wedding party, who socked a lot of money into this weekend, and the guests, who bought me thousands of dollars worth of bridal shower gifts, all of which I’d have to return…
Miles was right, again. The ball’s already been set in motion.
Have I really the power to stop it?
Aaron pulls over to the shoulder of the road, reaches down and takes my hand, running his finger over my engagement ring. “Look at me, Lia,” he says when I won’t meet his eyes.
I do.
“I swear, Lia. I love you so much. It’s killing me to think of losing you. That’s why I came all this way. After I hung up on you, it hit me. I can’t be without you.”
