by Colbie Kay
He tries to plead, “Haven—”
“I said, go!” I slam the door in his face.
“Fuck!” I hear him scream on the other side. “Jesus Christ!” The words are muffled as if he’s covering his mouth.
I’m assuming the door hit his face when I closed it. “Good, I hope it hurt.” I hobble over to the bed and plop down. Sucking in a deep breath, I look around the room. Someone brought all my stuff from the old clubhouse.
Covering my face with my hands as tears begin to cascade down my cheeks, I fall to my side. I allow myself to cry until I have no more tears to shed.
The sound of the door creaking has me lifting my head to see who it is, and I find Chapel peeking through the opening. “Come in.”
She rushes inside, closing the door behind her. “Haven, will you talk to me?”
“Talk about what?” I snap, scooting up in the bed to lean against the wooden headboard.
Chapel sits on the opposite end of the bed. “Why are you angry with me?”
I throw my arms in the air. “I don’t know, Chapel! Maybe because you’re just going along with everything and—”
“Going along with what, Haven? Going along with getting help or coming to stay here or being separated from you?”
My eyes widen. “Yes! All of it!”
Her shoulders sag. “I didn’t fight Ace like I should have, and I’m sorry, but I trust him, Haven. I probably shouldn’t after he hurt me the way he did, but I do. He’s taken care of me, and he hasn’t let anyone come near me. He cares. Just like Storm has done and does for you. Why are you being so hard on him anyway? I can’t fault them for wanting us to get help, and you shouldn’t either. If Ace trusts Kayla, then I am going to trust her, too. I believe with all of my heart that we need this, Haven. Do you like just staying in a room all day every day? I don’t. I’m sorry, but I’m tired of living like this. I want to be out there with all of those people, laughing and having fun. I want to have a life like Rowan does. If Kayla can help me with that, then I have to trust her. And lastly, I don’t want to be separated from you, Haven. You’re my sister, and I love you, but I think it’s time we try to have some level of independence.”
I stare at her in disbelief. “Where is all of this coming from? You have never said anything like this before.”
“Because I was scared to say anything. I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t do it anymore. You’re my sister, my family, and all I have, but I want more. I watched how you fought Storm. You’re strong, and I want to be as strong as you are. I don’t want to be scared anymore. I don’t want to live in fear. Will you please try and give Kayla a chance? I saw your face when you saw all those people outside. You want this, too, Haven. You just can’t admit it out loud yet.”
I take a deep breath and slowly release it. “If you want this, then I will try for you.”
Chapel shakes her head. “Don’t do it for me. Do it for you.”
“Okay,” I murmur quietly.
Reaching her arms out, she pulls me into a hug.
There’s a quiet knock on the door. I know that knock all too well from the times she visited at the old clubhouse. “Come in!” I yell with excitement.
Rowan walks into the room. “Hey, you two!” She rushes over to give both of us hugs. “We’re going to be able to see each other so much more now!” Rowan sits between Chapel and me. “Storm and Ace asked me to come and check on you two. What happened? They’re looking pretty sad downstairs.”
“How did you do it, Rowan?” I ask.
“Do what?”
“Go on with your life after you escaped as if nothing happened?”
She gives me a small smile. “I didn’t simply go on like nothing happened, Haven. I had nightmares and had to deal with my brother not accepting the fact that I was back or what happened to me. It was rough with my family, but I had Bam Bam. I wasn’t going to let what happened to me define me or hold me back.”
Chapel blurts, “We saw a psychiatrist today. Her husband is in the club.”
“Kayla.” Rowan nods. “I think it will be good for both of you.” She takes a hand from each one of us and holds it in hers. “You have to trust the guys will never let anyone hurt you.”
“But Storm, he’s making all these decisions for me. He’s overloading me with all of these changes. I don’t like it.”
Rowan laughs. “Remember where you are, Haven. These guys are bikers. They don’t ask questions or ask how you feel about something. They take the initiative and get shit done. They’re rough, they’re possessive, and they will frustrate the hell out of you. But they will always have your best interest at heart.”
“How are you dealing with your brother’s murder?” my sister asks.
“Chapel!” I screech at her for asking such a question.
“It’s okay, Haven.” Rowan sighs. “I’m doing okay. They have no new leads. My parents aren’t dealing with it well at all. It’s different for me, I guess. He was my brother, but after I came back, we were like strangers. He didn’t give me a chance, and I wasn’t going to keep trying to win his acceptance. I have actually been going to see Kayla myself.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
She nods. “Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with getting help, Haven, but you have to want it.” Rowan glances around the room for the first time. “I just realized there’s only one bed.”
I groan. “Another decision Storm made. He felt I should have my own room.”
“Oh.” Her lips form an ‘o’ shape. “I imagine that didn’t go over well.”
“Not at all.” I shake my head.
“I can see where he’s coming from, though.”
Chapel and I both gasp. “You can?” I question.
“Think about it. You were young girls when you were taken and held in a tiny cell together. Then you stayed at the old clubhouse in the same room. I think Storm is trying to help you gain some independence in his own domineering way. You are grown women and not little girls anymore.”
I drop my gaze to stare at the hands in my lap and quietly state, “But we’ve always been together.”
“But you don’t have to be anymore. You can live your own lives, Haven, and still have each other. I’m going to head back downstairs, but I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
Getting up, she steps toward my bedroom door, but before she reaches it, I call out, “Rowan?”
She glances over her shoulder. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
She grins. “One of these days, Haven, you’ll come downstairs with me.” Her eyes shift to my sister. “You too, Chapel.”
I peek at Chapel and see the way her eyes shine. She really wants that. I have to do my part to make it happen for us both.
13 YEARS AGO
Chapel and I have been taken out of our dark and lonely cell for the first time since we were brought here a year ago. We were taken to a room with cold showers to clean ourselves, then to a large room that has a big bed with posts, a couch, and a camera set up on a tripod. I squeeze Chapel’s hand tighter, trying to reassure her, as well as myself, that everything is going to be fine, but my gut is screaming that’s far from true.
“Come sit, my beautiful girls,” he tells us.
Chapel’s hand trembles in mine.
I pull her with me toward the bed. “Why have you done this to us? Why did you take us and bring us here?” I try my hardest to keep my tone even instead of showing how terrified I truly am.
He ignores my questions and simply smiles in return. “Have you not been taken care of here?”
“Taken care of?” I huff in anger. “If you were taking care of us, you would let us leave. Let us go home.”
He sighs heavily. “That, I can’t do. But I am going to help you, and you’re going to be good little girls, right?”
“Yes,” Chapel speaks quietly. “We will be good.”
“Chapel,” I growl through my gritted teeth.
He stands from the bed with an evil smil
e and a sinister glare. “Nothing is ever free. Remember that.”
He turns the camera on and steps closer to Chapel and me. Standing in front of us, he unties his robe and lets it fall to the floor. “You two are my favorite girls, you know that? You need to be prepped for what’s to come, and your teacher should be someone who loves you. Remove your nightgowns.”
Tears spring forth. “What?”
“Undress for me.” His tone is harsher, almost impatient.
Chapel begins pulling her nightgown over her head. “Chapel?” My eyes widen.
“We have to do what he says, Haven.” I see the tears falling down her cheeks as she drops her nightgown to the floor. Chapel’s cheeks are red as her head turns away from me.
“Such a good girl, Chapel. Now take Haven’s off,” he orders her.
“No.” I frantically shake my head, but I don’t fight her.
“Lay back on the bed, both of you.”
We do as we’re told. He steps closer. One of his hands lies next to me, and the other next to my sister as he leans over us. His mouth descends to my chest as his tongue tastes my breasts. I close my eyes, fighting back the urge to vomit.
I felt like it was never going to end, the things he did to us and made us do to each other. Once he finishes with us, we are taken back to our cell and locked away again.
7
Storm
Our new Church room and our new meeting table are twice the size of the ones we used to have. Running my finger along the grains of wood in the table, I stare down at our new emblem: the reaper with a cobra wrapped around its body. I keep thinking about how every fuckin’ thing is so goddamn new. How long is it going to take to get used to this shit?
I release a deep breath. I was a Cobras’ member for thirty years, and it seems so fuckin’ unreal that it’s gone. Is this how Haven was feeling yesterday? She was letting out her anger, and I get that, but she’s got to deal with changes in her life, both good and bad. I’m not angry about the new changes coming within the club—I’m happy with the decision—but it’s gonna take time to get used to it all.
“Heard you had some trouble with Haven yesterday.” Snake’s voice startles me out of my thoughts.
Turning to face him, I respond, “You could say that. She fought like hell to stay and hurt herself during the fight. I took her to Kayla, and she wouldn’t say one goddamn word for the whole hour. She was pissed the fuck off when she found out we gave her and Chapel separate rooms, and she’s back to square fuckin’ one because her nightmares returned with a vengeance last night. I barely got any fuckin’ sleep dealing with it.”
His hand lands on my shoulder. “You did the right thing for her, Storm.”
My eyes narrow on him. “Did I? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it.”
“She’ll be okay, Brother. You have to keep pushing her. Otherwise, she’s going to be stuck right where she is for the rest of her fucking life, and I know you don’t want that.”
Running a hand over my beard, I contemplate what he said. “Would that be so bad?”
“Yeah, it would.” He chuckles. “Deep down, you know it’s not healthy for her.”
I move away from him and settle into my vice president’s seat at the table. Snake and Hanger will take one end while Gunner and I will take the opposite. “Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing when it comes to her.” I want to continue talking to him about it, but more of our brothers begin to enter the room for Church.
Snake and Hanger remain standing while the rest of us sit. Snake reaches under the table then holds up a brand-new black leather cut. “It’s official, Brothers. We’re the Sinning Cobras Motorcycle Club.” When I’m handed mine, I check it out. Our emblem is on the back with our new top and bottom rockers, Sinning Cobras MC Kansas. On the front, it has three patches: my name, originals, and 1%er. I remove my old cut and slip on the new one. It feels strange, yet good. The same thought returns that this shit is going to take some time to get used to, but it’s all about moving forward. Right?
Hanger addresses us after he and Snake sit, “Are we all in agreement that our first official business will be to deal with the trafficking in Colorado?”
The room fills with “Ayes!” No one disagrees.
“Perfect! We’re all in agreement.” Hanger has a satisfied grin on his face. “I’ll start. We know a man named Marcus Coletti is supposed to be living right here in Sedgwick County, and he was the one who set it up for Dinch to take Rowan. Since Dinch offed himself, we can’t get any more information from him, but I did have Hacker look into it.”
That’s Hacker’s cue to speak. “After exhaustive efforts, I can’t find shit about a Marcus Coletti ever residing in our county.”
Spike cuts in, “What about other counties?”
Hacker continues, “I did find a few Marcus Coletti’s in other states, but not in any Kansas counties. After further research, none of them fit. Most likely, Dinch gave us a fake name.”
Snake jumps in, “We need to start at the beginning with Dinch. Find out anything and everything you can on the dirty cop.”
Hacker nods. “Already done, and I have a name. Nicholas ‘Nicky’ Deeds. He was known for being a thief and breaking into cars and houses. Just small shit. He’s basically been in and out of jail his whole life. Started young. Went to juvie. He was arrested multiple times by Dinch, then something changed about five years ago. Nicky got in with a group led by Jasper Kason, who has ties to Colorado. That group is into bigger jobs like grand theft. They have a couple chop shops around Kansas, but it’s unclear what the connection to Colorado actually is.”
My brows furrow in confusion. “What made Dinch turn dirty, though? Why would he arrest this guy multiple times then work with him to kidnap Rowan?”
“That, I don’t know,” Hacker explains.
Hanger sits up in his seat. “We need to find Nicky and get answers.”
Snake interjects, “I agree. Dodger and Spike, I want you on it.”
Hanger adds, “Hunter and Writer, you’re with them. Snake, you have anything else to discuss right now?”
“No, you?”
Hanger shakes his head, and the gavels hit the table dismissing Church. I need to check on Haven and make sure she’s over her fuckin’ fit from yesterday, so I head for her room. She’s gonna be the death of me; I can fuckin’ see it now. All the shit I’ve been through—guns, knives, fights, risking my life every goddamn day for this club—and none of it could take me out, but this little spitfire, Haven, she’s going to end me.
My knuckles lightly hit her door, but I don’t wait for her to reply before I step inside. Closing the door behind me and leaning against it with my arms crossed over my chest, I ask, “You over your shit yet?”
Her eyes become mere slits. “You can’t just walk in here whenever you feel like it, Storm.”
Dropping my head for a moment, my lips curl into a smirk. “I can do whatever the fuck I want, Darlin’. I guess that answers my question.”
Haven jumps up from her bed. “No, you can’t do whatever you want! This is my room.” She stomps toward me. It seems her feet and ankles are still sore based on the way she’s hobbling more than walking.
Challenging her, I draw closer. “This is my club, and you’re…” I shut my fuckin’ mouth because I was about to blurt out that she’s mine. I can’t do that.
She places her hands on my chest and tries to push me, but her efforts do nothing. “I’m what?”
Reaching for the back of her neck, I fist her hair. Tipping her head back so her gaze is sure to meet mine, I walk her slowly backward until she’s against the wall. I splay my other hand on the wall beside her head and cage her in like I did yesterday. Her lips part and her chest moves quickly as she pants for air. “You’re going to cut the shit, Haven. You’re going to lose your fuckin’ attitude, and you’re going to stop thinking you can win against me. My mouth descends to the shell of her ear, and I release her hair only to move my hand t
o her neck. The feel of her quickened pulse gives away the fact she’s not scared; she’s turned on. My cock twitches and I whisper in her ear, “You wanna keep fighting me? You will fuckin’ lose, Darlin’. Every goddamn time.”
“Stop making decisions for me.” Her words are shaky as they’re spoken.
“Can’t do that.” Pulling back, my gaze connects with her fluttering eyes. “It’s my job.”
Her features sober. “I’m not a job.” She pushes against my chest. This time, it’s not in anger, but it’s as if she’s done and given up. I let her go. “All this time, I thought maybe you cared, but I was wrong.” She moves to her bed and gently sits down. Her head is cast down as she stares at the floor. “You don’t even see me as a person. I’m just a job.”
“I didn’t mean it like…” Fuck! I take a deep breath and pull my silver-streaked hair.
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter how you meant it. I understand now.”
“You don’t.” She lays down on her bed, facing the wall. “Haven?” She doesn’t respond. I try a few more times, but it’s useless. I leave and close her door, leaning against it as I stare up at the ceiling. I just made shit worse, and now, I gotta figure out how to fuckin’ fix it. This is becoming a fuckin’ headache, and I’m getting real sick of saying I’m sorry. I apologize to no one, but it feels like that’s all I’ve been doing with Haven since yesterday.
“Hey, Storm,” Cherry’s voice echoes in the hall. “You got anything for me?”
Blowing out a deep breath, I respond, “Yeah, let’s go to my room.” I’ll pound my frustration out on Cherry.
2 YEARS AGO
I worked for what felt like hours brushing her hair until every last tangle was gone. Now that it’s been washed and brushed, her hair looks long and shiny. As I’m running the brush through, it’s forming beautiful curls. “All done.” I stand from the bed. “Do you need anything else tonight?”
