by A. J. Pine
She gripped Black Widow’s reins tighter but shook her head.
“Do you think I’m going to hurt you?” she countered.
He nodded without hesitation, and her mouth fell open.
“I don’t think I really knew what I was doing until you showed up,” he said. “But once you walked through that door, I knew I wanted you there tonight—for the unintentional ambush,” he said with a chuckle. “And so that you’d know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this isn’t a game for me anymore. No more pretending. No nothing. Just two people who maybe, in another place or time, could have had something pretty damned fantastic.”
He watched as she stared at him blankly, hoping that she was processing what he’d said in her own way.
She dropped her head back and stared up at the star-speckled sky.
“Why?” she asked, and he wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or to the stars—not that the stars could have done anything to piss her off.
“Should I…answer that?” he asked.
She dropped her head, her gaze meeting his. “Why couldn’t you have just stayed my vacation cowboy?” she asked.
He grinned, and she rolled her eyes. How he loved to push her buttons.
“Because I don’t want to be that guy anymore,” he admitted. “I don’t want to take the easy way out.” He paused for several seconds. “I want more, even if that more means only a few weeks.”
He gave Black Widow a pat on her side. “Is there room for two up there?” he asked, knowing that the mare could handle two riders but not sure if Charlotte could.
She nodded slowly, and in mere seconds he was seated behind her, arms around her waist and hands gripping the reins.
“I want you, Doc,” he whispered in her ear, the closest he could get to the truth.
She leaned back and kissed him. “I want you, too, cowboy.” Then she kicked her heels against Black Widow’s sides, and they took off across the arena.
As long as they never left the arena, they could pretend a little while longer. Not for Pearl. Not for his folks. Not for anyone this time but themselves. So for now they simply rode, and rode, and rode.
“I don’t have to be at the inn until lunchtime tomorrow,” Charlotte mentioned as they closed the stable up for the night. “Gran is…um…The chief is off duty tomorrow, so he’s spending the night and wants to help out in the morning.”
He smiled at her and planted a soft kiss on the tip of her nose—which felt like kissing an icicle.
“We need to get you inside.” He glanced back toward the dining hall and noticed his mom’s car and Casey’s truck were missing. “Looks like things are winding down in there anyway. How about I meet you at the guest quarters?” He pulled a key card out of his pocket and slipped it into her gloved palm. “First floor, last room on your left. You can do whatever you need to do to warm up, and if that doesn’t work…” He winked. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
She laughed, but then her expression grew serious. “I should come say good-bye to everyone. I feel like a jerk for my dramatic exit. I didn’t even really get to meet your parents.”
He waved her off. “Looks like they already left. And everyone else you’ll see tomorrow or the next day. I should have eased you into this, and I didn’t. Sorry about that.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.
He hummed against her as her lips touched his.
“How about we go visit your dad together? I have Monday night off if you’re free and if you’d want me there. I didn’t mean to just invite myself.”
He laughed. “Monday evening is perfect. In fact, it’s family game night as well as my night to pick. Hope you like Uno.”
Her green eyes shone in the sliver of moonlight.
“I am an Uno master,” she said with glee. “And I am not above tossing a Wild Draw Four your way, so watch out.”
He raised a brow. “Competitive much?”
She jutted out her chin. “Don’t pretend like this is brand-new information. If you hadn’t hitched a ride on my horse, I’d have done the same with you in the arena.”
Like she’d tried the first day they met.
Had that only been a couple months ago? He couldn’t wrap his brain around how much had changed in so little time.
“I look forward to your ruthless competition,” he teased.
She gave him a teeth-chattering grin.
“Inside, Doc.” He pointed toward the guesthouse.
“Is that an order?” she asked, teasing him right back—as much as she could while shivering. “Okay, fine,” she relented. “I’m going. See you in ten minutes.”
It hadn’t taken long to clean up, especially when Luis and Anna insisted on staying behind and wrapping the leftovers as well as ensuring that Luis’s kitchen was left exactly as Luis liked it.
“Mom and Dad cut out early?” Ben asked his brother as he headed toward the door.
Sam nodded. “Dad said something about a headache. Mom thinks it was overstimulation. Either way, it looked like he’d had enough for the night.”
Ben shrugged. “Looks like things are under control here, so I’m going to call it a night too. Charlotte’s sorry about the…uh…abrupt exit. I think she was a little overstimulated too.”
Before Ben made it out the door, though, Sam and Delaney cornered him. Well, it was more Delaney, considering she stretched her arm across the door right when he’d reached to open it.
“Does she know?” Delaney asked, not giving him a chance to protest about his blocked exit.
“Know what?” both men responded in unison.
Delaney rolled her eyes. “That you’re in love with her,” she directed at Ben.
“You’re in love with her?” Sam asked, then turned to his new fiancée. “He told you he’s in love with her?”
This time, Delaney groaned. “Do you guys really not see these things? He invited her to Thanksgiving dinner, practically paced the room until she arrived, greeted her with an unquestionably romantic kiss, and then took off with her for the rest of the evening. Your brother is head over heels for that woman, and if we all know, I think she should know too.”
“Okay. Hold up a second.” Ben brought his hands together in the time-out gesture. “No one knows anything because I haven’t told anyone anything about any sort of feelings I may or may not be…feeling.” He blew out a breath.
“Is word repetition your tell?” Delaney asked him. “For when you’re lying?”
Sam’s eyes widened. “It is!” he exclaimed. He turned to Ben. “Remember when you were thirteen and you and Colt stole the horses Dad was boarding and rode them up to the school track? Sheriff had to trail you two back to the stable, and even when you rode up on the evidence, you still tried to talk your way out of it.” Sam laughed. “Told our father he was only borrowing the Thoroughbreds to give them some exercise. You went on and on about borrowing for at least ten minutes.”
Ben half smiled and half frowned at the memory. It was right after their parents had split, his mom having moved out the week before. He’d convinced Colt they could take a midnight ride and make it back with no one the wiser. He’d been wrong.
“Dad could have pressed charges if he’d wanted to teach us a lesson,” Ben admitted. “But he knew one more strike would have sent Colt to a juvenile detention center, which would have also meant him losing his placement with his foster family.”
Delaney’s eyes widened. “Colt? Juvie?”
“Someone call me?” Colt popped his head out from the kitchen.
“No!” all three of them called back.
Colt held his hands up in surrender. “Yikes,” he said. “I’ll just go back to taking all the leftovers.”
He slipped back through the kitchen door.
“Colt?” Delaney whisper-shouted this time. “He seems like—I don’t know—some sort of golden boy or something.”
Ben chuckled. “He grew up, but don’t let the good-boy persona fool you. He�
�ll always have a wild streak. He just keeps it in check these days. Mostly. And fine. Maybe I have a tell or whatever, but that doesn’t mean I need you two to get the small-town rumor mill going about me and the doc. The situation is under control,” he lied, making a point not to say the word control in any way, shape, or form for the rest of this conversation—which meant he needed to leave before he dug himself any deeper. “Can I trust you two not to go all town crier on whatever it is you think you might know that you don’t actually know?”
Dammit. Two knows.
He gently removed Delaney’s arm from where it was still blocking the door.
“Good night,” he said with enough finality that she willingly stepped aside. “And congratulations with the whole engagement thing.”
He slipped out the door, but he could feel both of them staring after him as he did.
What if he did tell Charlotte how he felt? What if he was simply honest and put himself out there and took a stupid chance—a real chance—at happiness? Best-case scenario was she loved him too and they’d figure this out. Worst case? The worst case would likely knock him on his ass, but he’d get back up eventually. Wouldn’t he?
He weighed the pros and cons in his head the entire walk to the guest quarters and all the way down the hall to his room.
“Get it together, Callahan,” he whispered to himself before knocking on the door. Then he convinced himself he’d know what to say when he saw her.
She answered the door wearing an old, gray T-shirt of his that said CALLAHAN BROS. CONTRACTING across the chest in a faded white font, a shirt she must have found strewn over a chair or at the foot of the bed since that was basically how he “put away” clothes.
Her legs—her beautiful freckle-dotted legs—were bare. And in her hand she held one of several DVDs he’d unearthed in case the night ended with just him and his laptop.
The Empire Strikes Back.
“Doc, I…” The words were right there, on the tip of his tongue, but he faltered, or freaked out, or simply forgot how to speak. The man who was never at a loss for anything to say suddenly couldn’t get his mouth to form three simple words.
She nodded, an understanding smile spreading across her face.
“I know,” she said.
His brow furrowed. Wait. Did she just Han Solo him? And if she did, did that mean…Did they both?
His brain was going to short-circuit the longer he tried to figure her out. But maybe that was the thing with them. They could feel how they felt without saying it, without one of them pressuring the other to uproot his or her life.
He scooped her into his arms and threw her legs around his waist. She yelped with laughter, the DVD flying to the floor.
“I’m not sure you do,” he said, his voice low and rough. He kissed her and then tossed her onto the bed.
She took off the T-shirt and then wiggled out of her pale blue, lacy, low-cut briefs.
His eyes widened as he drank in the vision of her. She was beautiful and vulnerable and his.
“I think you might have to demonstrate or something,” she said. “Just so I’m sure.”
He nodded. “Yeah. I think I do.”
He kicked off his boots and pulled his sweater and T-shirt over his head. She leaned up and unbuttoned his jeans, gently tugged his zipper down. She watched, grinning, as he let the pants fall to the floor, stepping out of them and his socks at the same time. Two seconds later, gone were his black boxer briefs.
“There,” he said, crawling over her in nothing but his skin. “We’re even.”
She skimmed her teeth over her bottom lip and wrapped her warm hand around the base of his erection.
He hissed in a breath as she urged him down and between her legs, his tip nudging her opening.
She was ready for him, and in case he hadn’t gotten the message, she rocked her hips forward so he slipped partially inside.
“Who’s showing who here?” he teased, and she answered by wrapping her arms and legs around him, taking him all the way in.
“Right,” he ground out as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. “I forgot. You’re in charge.”
He tilted his head up and smiled at her, then kissed her hungrily, greedily, and was grateful when she did the same.
It didn’t matter that they’d been doing this for weeks now or that they were getting really good at it.
Okay, who was he kidding? They were always fantastic together.
“I’m better with you,” he said when he came up for air, slowly rocking his body against hers.
“Mmm-hmm,” she said, her back arching so that he had to dip his head to allow his lips to greet her breasts.
But he didn’t mean just now. Here. In his bed.
He was a better man with her. Period.
The following morning, they still lay entwined with each other and the sheets. He buried his face in her hair.
“I love it here. I swear I could stay like this forever,” she said, her voice breathy and light.
In Meadow Valley? Had she decided to stay? What if all she needed to know was that he wanted the same thing? What if—
“Don’t go,” he whispered, without thinking it all the way through.
She hummed softly. “I’m not,” she added dreamily. “Told you I don’t need to be back until lunchtime.”
“To New York,” he clarified after only a second of hesitation. “Wait, did you not mean here as in Meadow Valley?”
She went still in his arms, and he knew he’d messed up. But it was out there now.
Dammit.
“Sorry,” he said. But then he stopped himself. “No,” he decided out loud. “I’m not sorry for telling you that I want you for more than just a handful of weeks. If that makes me an ass, then so be it. But I’m tired of tiptoeing around this.”
He tilted his head back so he could see her, and if they weren’t so close, he might have flinched.
Her jaw was set, and her wide-eyed gaze somehow doubled as a fiery glare.
“Are you trying to kill me with your eyes?” he asked, trying to lighten the situation. “I’m just wondering if I should duck and cover.”
Her mouth didn’t even twitch.
“I’m going to take a shower,” she said, sliding out of bed and taking the sheet with her. “At my place.”
She gathered her clothes and dressed in a flurry of movement, then tossed the sheet back onto the bed. He ignored it and got up, one hundred percent naked.
“Come on, Doc. Can we at least talk about this?”
She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again.
“Are you building that house for me?” she asked, not fazed in the least by his naked form.
“No,” he said, his knee-jerk reaction. “I mean, I don’t know. Maybe? Would that really be so bad? I know there’d be a ton of logistics to figure out, but dammit, Doc, am I such a bad guy for picturing us here—together?”
She groaned. “I’ve worked so hard to gain control of my life, to give it the stability I always needed. I went to New York because I was accepted into one of the top residency programs my school had to offer, and I stayed because I was hired by one of the best pediatric practices around. My life. My decision. My one way to control the outcome. To keep myself safe.”
She sucked in a breath. “I know Gran is okay without me. That she has a life with the inn and the chief. But knowing how much she wants me here for good, when I can’t just up and leave the life I’ve built, it breaks my heart every time I have to tell her no. And now you, the guy who was supposed to get it, who was supposed to understand, you’re building me a freaking house.” She shook her head. “We were supposed to just be friends. This kind of emotional attachment wasn’t part of the deal.”
Ben took a step toward her, and she reacted by grabbing his jeans from the floor and tossing them at him. He caught them, very strategically, in front of his morning wood, then let out a bitter laugh. “Doc, you’re talking to the king of e
motional distance, but I have news for you. You’ve got about as much control of that part of yourself as you do a bronc at a rodeo.”
“I can control prolonging the hurt though. We both can.” Her shoulders sagged. “Pearl gets her cast off in two weeks. I’ll be back in New York before Christmas.” She hesitated, and for a second he thought she might not go. But then she said, “I’m sorry, Ben. I really am.”
And then she was gone.
He stood there, dumbfounded and naked, his balled-up jeans still held between his legs.
He’d somehow gone from having the most spectacular night of his life to losing the woman he loved for being honest about how he felt. At least telling her he wanted her to stay made it clear how he felt. Didn’t it?
He showered, got dressed, and stormed out of the room. He could still fix this, still make things right. Except that now it was practically noon, and she was on the clock, which meant he had an entire day to figure out what to say. Or…maybe he should give her some space. What was the right answer? He didn’t have it. Seemed like he never did.
So he headed down to the house in progress. One thing was for sure: When in doubt, take out your frustrations on a pile of lumber—with the appropriate power tools and safety gear, of course. If there was one thing Ben Callahan knew well, it was how to protect himself from getting hurt.
Chapter Seventeen
Ivy backed up while Charlotte leaned over the top of the ladder, hanging the last strand of icicle lights over the porch of the Meadow Valley Inn.
Now that it was Monday, she took stock of how she’d spent the rest of the weekend since walking out on Ben—doing everything she could to stay busy, even if that meant freezing her ass off on a ladder. The more she worked, the more she thought she could fill the cavernous pit in her stomach.
But it was still there—a dull ache when she was busy and pretty much abject misery when she wasn’t, which had made sleeping quite the challenge. She hated the thought of Ben feeling this way, too, but it wasn’t like she could heal the wound she’d already caused—or that they weren’t going to break each other’s hearts when her time in Meadow Valley was up.
