by A. J. Pine
“Nothing? Really? Because your face is beet red.”
“It’s warm in here.” She tugged her shirt out a few times to let in some air.
Her friend yanked on her elbow and pulled her closer to the front door. “Have you changed your mind? About banning relationships from your life for a while?”
“No.” But she had to admit she could. She could change her mind pretty easily with the right motivation. “We kissed. It’s not like I’m hearing wedding bells or anything.”
“Good.” Naomi let her go. “Because we’ve already talked about this. He’s not commitment material.”
“Maybe that’s because he hasn’t met the right woman.” She was just thinking out loud here, but that would make sense. Lance didn’t have much time to date. The women she’d heard he’d been with weren’t exactly commitment material, either. Besides… “I’m not in a hurry for anything to happen. I liked kissing him.” She wouldn’t even try to deny it. “But I don’t need some big commitment right now anyway.”
Naomi rolled her eyes. “Sure, you say that now. But what about in a month when you’re more invested? What happens then?”
For once, she didn’t know. And she didn’t have to. “I’ll work that out then.”
“And get hurt again,” her friend said gently. “Trust me. Lance has baggage. You don’t want to be the one to have to deal with his mommy issues. That’s exactly why I—”
“Hey, Jessa.”
Her head snapped so fast she felt a pull in her neck. Lance was looking at her now. He was even talking to her.
“Can you help me get the drinks ready?” he asked, still hanging out by the coffeepot.
Naomi rolled her eyes, but Jessa simply bumped past her. “Sure. I’d be happy to.”
Chapter Ten
Jessa drifted to the other side of the counter and glanced at him as though waiting for instructions. Which was good. Distance would be key for this conversation. When he’d walked in and seen her standing there it hit like a shockwave. He noticed her lips first. The lips that were so smooth and giving against his last night. Then her eyes. Friendly and open, smiling in a way that made him want to smile, too. She had on yoga pants that showcased her tight ass. The tight ass his hands had held just last night. It pretty much looked like she’d rolled right out of bed and come on over. Seeing her disheveled in that sexy carefree way made his brain give out and the little speech he’d rehearsed last night faded into the desire to touch her again.
But he couldn’t. So she’d stay over there and he’d stay over here and then maybe he could remember what it was he was supposed to say to her. He checked on the others, who were seated at the table, already piling food onto their plates while Gracie informed them of every fact she knew about deer.
“Sooo…should I pour coffee for everyone?” Jessa asked, stepping into his line of vision.
Their eyes connected and he forced himself not to look away again. “In a second.” He shuffled a few steps closer. “Actually, we need to talk first.”
Something changed on her face. Her smile fell away, and the bright, wide eyes that kept demanding his attention narrowed. “Okay. So talk.” She folded her arms and leaned against the counter, glaring as though she already knew what he was going to say.
Damn it. How had he planned to start this again? “Well…” He cleared his throat. The noise level over at the table rose as Gracie giggled about something his dad had said. Jessa didn’t seem to notice. Her glare was relentless.
He blew out a breath. If anyone wondered why he didn’t do relationships, this would be a good example. He sucked at having honest, hard conversations. Since there was no easy way to put it, he’d best just get it out there. “I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he said, quietly enough that the others wouldn’t hear.
Jessa’s unreadable expression didn’t change but her jaw twitched. “And why is that?”
Why was that again? Staring at her made it hard to remember. He glanced down at his plain, uncomplicated boots. “I’m pretty sure we want different things.”
When silence thrummed into his ears, he looked up at her.
Her facial expression hadn’t budged an inch. “What is it you want, Lance?” The words came out solid and hard. She didn’t seem to care much if anyone else heard.
He shoved his hands into his pockets so he wouldn’t flip off Naomi from across the room. What the hell did she know? Talking had been a bad idea. “I want simplicity.”
Jessa shocked him with a smirk. Where had all this attitude and sass come from? He’d always heard she was a softie. He must’ve heard wrong.
“And what is it you think I want?” Her tone came within an inch of mocking him.
“Uh.” Was this a trap? He’d learned early in his dating career never to answer a question that could have potentially catastrophic consequences. Truth was, he didn’t know what she wanted. Not exactly. He knew what Naomi thought Jessa wanted. But Jessa was waiting.
He blew out the frustration in a hefty sigh. “Look. This isn’t about you. I don’t do relationships. I’m not interested in that.” Life was so much easier without those ties. “I shouldn’t have taken those shots last night.” Not that he could blame his body’s reaction to her on the whiskey. “You’re great, but—”
“Did I do something that led you to believe I wanted a relationship with you?” she interrupted in that same bold, screw you tone.
“No.” Wow. This was the last time he’d follow Naomi’s advice on anything. Talk about a crash and burn. “But Naomi seemed to think—”
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted a fling?” Jessa marched closer. “That maybe I’m sick of relationships and just want to have fun with no strings attached for once in my life?”
“No.” Somehow he managed to get the word out even with his jaw hanging open. That had definitely never occurred to him.
“Would it be so hard to believe that I’m not out searching for a husband?” she demanded, hands positioned on the rounded curve of her sexy hips.
“Well…” What could he say to that without risking her foot in his balls? She’d built quite the reputation for herself. Wasn’t his fault word got around. “Isn’t that what you want?”
She laughed. The woman laughed at him. “You kissed me.” Her pointer finger slashed the air between them. “You said you were attracted to me.”
“I am.” Damn was he attracted to her. Her shoulders were straight and tight, her perky breasts begging for some attention. And her face had flushed with the same passion he’d seen last night.
“Then what the hell is your problem, Lance, huh?” she demanded.
When she put it that way…he glanced over at the table again.
Gracie and his father were still chatting while they ate, but Naomi was glaring at him. Oh, right. That kicked his memory into gear. He was supposed to be putting boundaries between them to save Jessa some heartache. “I don’t want you to get hurt.” He felt like he was reading a damn script. What he really wanted to tell her was that he’d never been more turned on than he was right now and would she like a tour of his bedroom?
“Maybe I’m the one who’ll hurt you.” Her head tilted in a flippant gesture. “Did you ever think about that?”
“Noooo,” he admitted. But he could be down with some pain…
“Screw you, Lance. I don’t need your pity or your protection.” She marched over to him, and he felt his heart lift at the prospect of her body being against his again.
“You know what I do want?” she asked, her voice lowered into an alluring growl.
He could only shake his head. Shock and intrigue surged through him in a way he’d never felt.
“I want some fucking coffee.” She bumped past him to the coffeepot. Without a glance back, she filled herself a mug and sashayed over to the table, leaving him staring after her, his body as primed and ready as it’d been last night.
* * *
She was so done. And not just with breakfast, either. Jessa blotted her mo
uth with a napkin and tossed it onto her empty plate. Lance might be a complete jerk-wad, but he knew how to make breakfast. Normally, she would be a polite guest and offer to help clean up the dishes, but she had to get out of there. Now.
All through breakfast she’d felt Lance’s eyes searching her out. But she had studiously avoided him, gushing over Gracie instead. Thank God there was an adorable ten-year-old at the table to distract everyone from the fat-ass purple polka-dotted elephant in the room. Because Naomi had obviously discussed last night’s kiss with Lance in great detail, and Luis might be nearing seventy, but he wasn’t blind. He had to have witnessed something of what had transpired between her and Lance in the kitchen—an encounter that still had her knees quaking, by the way.
So during the meal the adults in the room had hardly looked at one another, instead enthusiastically indulging Gracie’s spirited ideas about how adding pigs to the ranch could be super fun. Because look how much Wilbur livened things up in Charlotte’s Web. Gracie was always on a mission to bring more animals into the fold. She was a girl after her own heart.
A lull in the conversation presented Jessa with the opportunity she’d been waiting for for at least a half hour. “Well, this has been great,” she said, her gaze skimming right over all of them. “But I should check in at the shelter. Make sure Cassidy’s holding up okay.” It wasn’t like Cassidy couldn’t handle it, but Jessa couldn’t handle this. The poor broken-hearted Jessa routine. When she’d realized what Lance was trying to get at in the kitchen, something inside of her had erupted. She was not emotionally fragile. And she sure as hell didn’t need a man—even Lance Cortez—to be her key to a happy life.
She was done being poor nice Jessa.
The eruption had left behind a force that built inside her, fortifying her. With this newfound courage, she popped right out of her chair. “Thanks for a lovely breakfast,” she said to no one in particular. But she did beam a real smile at Gracie. “See you soon, sweet girl.”
The girl blew her a kiss, which Jessa returned before she spun and made a break for the door.
“Wait.” A chair scraped the plank floors and before she could get too far, Lance slipped in front of her. She forced herself to stare back at him, working her mouth into a line of indifference. “Yes?”
“Don’t you need help at the shelter today?” he asked, widening his eyes and glancing in his father’s direction.
Right. She was supposed to be on babysitting duty. After everything that had transpired between them, that’s what it came down to. That’s why she was here. Lance hadn’t forgotten and she shouldn’t, either. Irritation simmered, but she didn’t want to take it out on Luis. It wasn’t his fault his son was clueless.
“Actually I could really use some help.” Blocking out Lance, she turned to his father. “Do you have time to come today? I might have to do inventory on supplies.”
The older man’s mustache twitched. “Sure,” he said. If he was trying to hide his amusement, he was doing a terrible job. “Gets me outta doin’ the dishes.” He planted a kiss on the top of Gracie’s head and dragged himself out of the chair.
“Great. Thanks.” With a prim smile, she sidestepped Lance and led a hearty charge out the front door to the tune of the “Hallelujah” chorus playing in her head. Not surprisingly, Lance didn’t try to stop her.
Outside, the day had brightened and the scents of fall permeated the air—dried grass, crisp leaves. Not that she enjoyed it. Her volcanic heart still fumed. As far as she could remember, she hadn’t said anything pathetic to Lance. Sure, she’d tried to kiss him, and yes, she’d admired him, but she wasn’t Scarlett freaking O’Hara. She hadn’t been pining after him. She hadn’t begged him to kiss her. And maybe she would enjoy a fling. She didn’t know for sure, but it was possible. Now she’d never know, since Lance had gone and made it a huge deal.
We want different things. God. How did he know anything about what she wanted? Her feet pounded the dirt harder. He didn’t. Mostly because he hadn’t bothered to ask her.
Luis tromped along by her side. “You want to talk about it?” he asked in his pleasant way.
“Not especially.” There was nothing to talk about. Nothing to think about, except the work she had to do today. Swearing off men had been the right decision all along, but then Lance had come along and screwed it up by kissing her, before doing a complete one-eighty and telling her he wasn’t looking for a commitment.
And people thought she had issues.
After running into Luis’s house to change into some jeans and her Stay Calm and Help Animals T-shirt, she led Luis to her truck, which was parked off to the side of his garage. Driving away from the ranch felt freeing. She flicked on the radio and let the country music coax out the tension.
Luis stared ahead, his fingers drumming on his knees to the beat. “Lance took it the hardest when his mom left,” he said, his jaw tight. “I never knew what to do. How to talk to him about it. We just tried to survive.”
The words caught her off guard. Even though they’d spent a lot of time together, Luis had never mentioned his ex-wife before. She turned down the radio. “Sometimes that’s all you can do,” she said, her shoulders softening.
“Point is, he didn’t learn anything good about relationships. Not from me,” the man went on, though he didn’t look at her. Luis didn’t have to expand. She’d heard the rumors about him after his wife left. He’d had affairs with married women, taking full advantage of his status as a renowned bull rider. For a while, he’d been quite the Casanova. But she didn’t hold that against him. She knew how it felt to have a broken heart, to search for something that would soothe away the loneliness, even if it was only temporary.
Luis stared blankly out the windshield. “It’s one of the things I regret the most.”
Letting silence settle, Jessa turned onto Main Street. The sidewalks were full of people strolling, pausing to window shop at the eclectic mix of boutiques and shops. It was a beautiful day, bright and vivid, yet she couldn’t help but feel that a cloud hung over them. Sure, Lance hadn’t had it easy after his mom left, but a lot of people hadn’t. And Luis had already paid a steep price for his actions. He’d lost a son. After Lucas was sent to prison, the man had cleaned up his act. From what she’d heard, he stayed home with Lance and Levi more, tried to fix things with his boys. People could change. But they had to want it.
Stopping at the lone traffic light, she waved at Mrs. Eckles, who owned the bakery across the street. “I didn’t exactly learn about healthy relationships from my parents, either,” she reminded Luis. But that didn’t have to stop her from having a healthy relationship with someone else. “And you know what, Luis? Lance’s issues aren’t your fault.” He had a choice. He could decide what he wanted for his life. It seemed he already had, so there was no point in dwelling on the situation. “Anyway, we don’t have to talk about Lance. Like I’ve said before, there’s nothing to talk about.” They had a business arrangement and things had gotten too personal. She wouldn’t make that mistake again.
On the south end of Main Street, she veered to the right and pulled up in front of the shelter. The building itself wasn’t attractive. Before her father had bought it, it had been an old diner, a plain square brick building with a shingled roof. Some people around town called it an eyesore, but it served its purpose. Before Buzz had passed, she’d planned to give it a facelift in hopes that would help donations. Things hadn’t exactly worked out that way. Her dad had left behind a couple of debts and after she’d paid them off, she needed what remained to keep things running month-to-month, to pay Cassidy and Xavier, her night shift guy, so she didn’t have to be there 24/7.
She parked in the space next to Cassidy’s SUV and cut the engine. It looked like the sign above the door had lost another bolt. It was tilted like it was about to fall to the ground.
Luis noticed her looking at it.
“That’s nothin’. I’ll get on a ladder and get it all fixed up,” he said, unbuckling
his seat belt.
She climbed out of the truck, hauling along her bag of paperwork she had to finish up. “Thanks, Luis.” Seriously. What would she do without him? Lance might be paying her to stay with the man, but she should be doing it for free, given how much he did to help her out.
“You deserve to be on the payroll,” she told him, leading the way inside. The bell chimed a cheerful welcome.
“Nah. I don’t need the money,” he insisted.
And it was obvious she did need some money. Jessa looked around the reception area at the front of the building. Buzz had unearthed the two oak desks from a trash heap in the rubble of a dilapidated building. Sturdy as a rock, he’d claimed, even though they both leaned slightly to the left. And those desks weren’t the only monstrosities in the room. The stained gray carpet was pulling up around the edges. It had been snagged from the array of paws that had walked or pranced or scampered or cowered on its surface. Two overstuffed chairs he’d found at a garage sale provided the only seating in the room.
She sighed deeply. It wasn’t the neatest place, but it was hard to keep things neat when you had a revolving door of animals coming in and out.
“Hey there.” Cassidy walked out from the back room, where they kept the animal pens and supplies.
“Hi,” Jessa said brightly, doing her best to cover up her earlier irritation. “How’re things going?”
“Good…” Her friend drew out the word as though she was confused. That would be because technically Jessa wasn’t supposed to come in on Sundays. Her friends were always on her about being a workaholic and making sure she took at least one day off during the week. So much so that Cassidy had volunteered to hang out on weekends for a very reasonable wage.
Before Cass could ask her why she’d come in, she got right down to business. “So how’s the pig?” The day before Cam had broken up with her, someone had called to report a potbellied pig that was seen wandering around the park. Jessa had found the sweet thing down by the river, and she didn’t look healthy. Too thin and very lethargic. She’d brought her in and posted signs around town, but so far no one had claimed her. Which meant she’d likely been abandoned by someone passing through town.
