by T. S. Joyce
What did he do up there in those mountains all day?
“Have you checked your profile lately?” Vona asked.
“Uhh, yeah, a little while ago.”
“And?”
“And I’ve made a friend.”
“A friend?” The disappointment in Vona’s voice was almost comical. “Look, Hadley, I’m graduating next year, and I won’t be here to monitor your dating life.”
When Hadley tossed a culled rose at her employee, she ducked out of the way neatly. With a put upon sigh, Vona snatched her phone. “What does this friend look like?”
Colin the Mountain Man had disappeared with the armload of boxes into the post office, so she gave her attention back to Vona. She was a pretty girl. Young and with little need for her caked on make-up. She had a smattering of freckles across her cheekbones, sandy brown hair and dark lashes that made the blue in her eyes look even brighter. Her delicate eyebrows drew down in a severe frown as she studied the profile Hadley talked to most often.
Hadley scrunched up her face and waited for the lecture that was sure to come.
“Bearman28 doesn’t have a profile picture,” Vona observed. “Out of all the candidates, you are choosing to hook-up online with a picture-less profile.”
“We’re not hooking up, Vona. We’re friends. He’s nice to talk to. Funny. He cares about what kind of day I’m having, and it’s nice to have someone to talk to who is also struggling with this dating stuff.”
“He’s probably a serial killer,” Vona deadpanned.
“Probably. Which is why I’m not meeting up with him or telling him where I live.”
“See,” Vona said, handing back the phone. “This is what serial killers do. They make you comfortable, take their time to set up a relationship where you feel safe, then…” Vona’s voice faded to background noise.
There was a new message in her inbox, and her heart rate galloped as she saw Bearman’s No Image Available icon.
Just wanted to say hi and hope you have a good day at work.
Hadley smiled and typed out a response.
Having a good day, but catching shit from my friend because you don’t have a profile picture. She says you’re probably a serial killer. Please post picture ASAP so she will get off my case. Pictures prove innocence, don’t you know?
She hit send and showed Vona the message. “Happy?”
“No, now he knows you’re onto him.”
“Don’t be weird. You were the one who told me to try this site out. I am, just on my own terms. I met someone nice who is easy to talk to. I’m calling it a success.”
“Hmm.” Vona didn’t sound convinced. “Look, I know a nerd. He can figure out this guy’s IP address and track him down. It’ll probably take a few days, but then I’ll know where to go when you turn up missing.” She pulled a length of ribbon for a bouquet and cut it with a practiced snip. “You know, I really thought you were going to take this seriously, but you picked the only profile with red flags all over it.”
“Don’t stalk the man. He’s never even asked for any personal information about me. Nor has he ever been inappropriate. He just seems…nice.”
Vona perked up and smiled cheerily at a customer who walked through the door.
Movement across the street drew Hadley’s attention, and when she looked up, Colin was exiting the post office. He checked his phone, and a slow smile took his lips. Or at least, she thought it did. His beard was pretty thick. He held his sunglasses in his hand.
Look up. She wanted to see his eyes. He always kept them hidden, like he didn’t want anyone really looking at him, and something about that bothered her. “Look up, look up, look up,” she murmured.
A frown took his face, and he glanced directly at her through the flower shop window. She gasped. His eyes were so light blue they looked white in the saturated afternoon light. He slipped on his sunglasses without taking his gaze away from her, then cocked his head.
Heart pounding, she lifted two fingers in a wave.
He turned away and opened the door of his truck, then disappeared inside with the same aloofness he’d showed her the day he’d paid for her meal. His engine roared to life, and he pulled out of the parking spot without another glance for her.
Inhaling deeply, she watched him drive away. His eyes were such a strange color. No wonder he wore sunglasses. They were probably overly sensitive to light. Maybe he had vision problems or some kind of degenerative disease that would eventually cause him to go blind. Pity washed through her, churning in her middle until she wanted to cry.
What a lonely life he must be leading up in those mountains all alone with no one to care for him.
****
Colin uploaded a picture of the bear he’d carved and set it on his front porch. Then sent Hadley a message that read:
Proof I’m not a serial killer.
She immediately responded by replacing her profile picture with a bouquet of flowers with a pair of opened scissors sitting in front of it.
He bit his thumbnail and grinned as he shut the laptop on his desk. A month ago, he would’ve thought it impossible for him to be any more attracted to Hadley. But she’d proven him wrong with her easygoing nature and sense of humor.
He looked around his cabin. It was small and neat but only big enough for one, and when he glimpsed his reflection in the entryway mirror, he winced. His eyes looked like bug lights, and no way in hell could they pass for human. And that’s what she was. A soft and fragile human who didn’t belong in his world. Who couldn’t bear the things he’d been through and would go through in his life just because of what he was.
“Shit,” he muttered. What was he doing? The best thing he could do for her is let her find a real match online instead of taking up her time.
A snarl ripped through him as his bear thoroughly disagreed.
Hadley was his mate.
“No,” he argued, standing and pacing the room. She wasn’t. No one was, because he was destined to be alone. The Long Claws had determined his fate when they demolished his clan, Blood Den.
He wasn’t fit to take care of another.
A knock pounded against his door. “Open up, it’s the police,” a deep voice called out.
Colin grinned, threw open the door, and was almost knocked over by the force of Benson Riker’s embrace. He clapped him on the back so hard it rattled his bones.
“It’s been too long,” Riker said as his little three-year-old girl wrapped her arms around Colin’s legs.
Tenderly, he bent down and picked up Ava, who was all big, blue eyes like her father and dark hair and spunk like Hannah, Riker’s mate. Hannah stepped through the door and hugged his neck.
“I can’t believe you’re still living up here all alone,” she admonished.
Colin filled his cheeks with air and crossed his eyes at Ava.
The girl laughed and tugged his beard. “Momma says we need to bring you meat because you don’t have no woman to make sure you’re eating like you should.” Her voice was pitched high and squeaky, and Colin stifled the urge to squeeze her tighter. She was the cutest kid in the world and sweet as sugar to boot.
“Well now, that’s true, but I like my peace and quiet.”
“Daddy says your bear is extra scary. He says it’s even scarier than mine, and I’m a grizzly.”
He laughed and tossed her up, then caught her to her giggling delight. “Nobody’s bear is scarier than a three-year-old grizzly, Ava. Nobody’s.”
Riker hauled in plastic bags of frozen meat, and Hannah organized his kitchen. It was clean, just like it was every time Riker’s family came to visit, but it was her way. She was used to being first lady up in Bear Valley and was a mother hen, and Colin fell under her protection.
He’d fussed about it the first couple of times, but she’d cowed him with her quick tongue right away, and now he just let her at it. He understood. They worried about him, and this made her feel better. Like she was helping him.
Colin sank i
nto the couch cushions while Ava tried to braid his beard, and Riker took a seat across from him. “So?” the alpha asked.
“So what?” he said with a teasing grin. He knew exactly what Riker was asking about. He called him every two days to see where he and Hadley stood, but the answer was always the same. Nowhere.
“Have you talked to her today?”
“Yeah, and we’re in the same place we were last time. I can’t go after her, Riker. It’s not right.”
“Why not? This is what I don’t get. You never explain to me what the hold-up is.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Do you like Ms. Hadley?” Ava asked.
Colin rocked his head back until it rested on the couch. “Really, Riker? You told your kid about my dating problems?”
“What’s dating?” she asked, flopping onto the seat next to him.
“Well, it’s when two people…” He shrugged at Riker. He didn’t know how to explain adult stuff to little kids.
Riker spoke up. “It’s like when you go over to aunt Jenny’s and uncle Blaine’s to play with Rodge, and mommy and daddy go to dinner and a movie in town.”
“Oh.” Apparently not impressed with that explanation, she turned to Colin and asked, “Can I play with your dolls?”
Hannah snorted from the kitchen, and Colin frowned. “Yes, but they aren’t dolls. They are carvings or figurines, if you must. Ava?” The child had run into the other room to find the box of them. “They aren’t dolls,” he called again over his shoulder.
“Colin, the big-ass dominant bear, up here playing with his dolls in the mountains,” Riker murmured with a goading grin.
“Shut up, man,” he grumbled.
“Does Hadley like dolls?” Hannah asked, perching on the armchair next to her mate.
“Har har, and I don’t know. Our conversations stay pretty shallow, the way they need to be.”
Hanna’s face softened, and the smile fell from her lips. “Colin, bears aren’t meant to live alone. You are social creatures. What you’re doing to yourself, punishing yourself, is wrong. You don’t deserve this.”
Colin swallowed hard and slipped his sunglasses over his eyes, then dragged his attention to a picture of Blood Den that hung from his wall. It had been taken a few months before the Long Claw’s attack. “I like it up here alone. It’s not a punishment. I just don’t want to get attached to a clan again.”
“Okay, you at least deserve a mate.”
“A mate?” he asked, bitterness tainting his words. “What could I give to someone like Hadley?”
“Don’t give me that shit,” Riker said, his blue eyes blazing. “You make plenty of money. Cameron brings me the numbers you’ve been sending us. But you give away your money to try and make up for whatever shortcomings you’ve pinned on yourself.”
“No, I send that money because you have five of the remaining Blood Den clan in Bear Valley now. I couldn’t take care of them when we were in the shit, but I can now. I send it to help you out, because you’re my friends, and I like feeling like I’m a part of you, even if I live out here. And Cameron swore he wouldn’t out what I was doing, so he’s a dick for telling you.”
“Not a dick, Colin, just thorough with his books. That’s what has our finances on the up and up. If Cameron hides away the money you send us, his bear wouldn’t stand for it, and you know it.”
A long growl left his lips, and his head twitched. Riker was right. He shouldn’t have asked Cameron to lie. He just wanted to send money without having this conversation. “I’ll call him and apologize.”
“We worry about you,” Hannah said. “You have no clan to lean on out here. You’re right on the edge of our territory, so what would it hurt to move all the way into Bear Valley? You can have a cabin on the outskirts if you want, and you can build a new shop. We’ll give you the materials for it. It’s time to start living again, Colin, and this…” She looked around at his tiny cabin. “This isn’t it.”
It might not look like much, but it was his, and it was home. And for reasons he didn’t want to explain to them or anyone else on the planet, he deserved this lonely existence.
“At least think of asking Hadley out,” Hannah pleaded. “Let at least one person in, and we’ll lay off.”
“If I ask Hadley out, you’ll stop worrying about me?”
“Yes.” Hanna rubbed Riker’s neck as the alpha sat stoically with his fingers pressed together in front of his mouth.
Colin sighed, utterly defeated. This was a terrible idea, and likely one that would get both he and Hadley hurt, but the temptation to talk to her in person was a big one. And if it would put Riker and Hannah off pestering him about it… “Fine,” he growled out. “But if I ruin her life, it’s on you.”
Hannah squealed and bounded over to his laptop like an overexcited puppy. “Do it now so I can make sure you don’t screw it up.”
“Oh, God,” he grumbled, pushing himself upward.
He couldn’t be sure, but it looked like Riker was hiding a smile.
Hannah gasped and Colin lurched back. “It’s Valentine’s Day this week!”
“That sounds like a human thing,” Colin said as he sank into the desk chair and brought up Hadley’s profile.
“Well, Hadley is human so best you adjust, Bearman28,” she said, squinting at the screen. “Plus, women like grand gestures, and there is no better time to do that than February fourteenth. You can let her know how you feel, and you’ll always remember this human holiday.”
“Give in, man,” Riker said, catching Ava as she flew through the air clutching two carved elephants. “Hannah loves Valentine’s Day.”
“So does Hadley, I bet. Ask her.” Hannah adjusted the angle of the computer screen so she could read it better.
“Uh, okay.” His heart went to pounding like it always did when he was about to type something to her.
Favorite holiday? Go.
He sat back and waited. Sometimes Hadley responded right away if she was on a break or it was slow in the flower shop, but sometimes it took her all day.
Her icon popped up on the message board. That’s easy. Christmas.
Not Valentine’s Day?
Hate Valentine’s Day.
“See,” he said, cocking an eyebrow triumphantly at Hannah.
I have to work all day. Flower business, remember? And I’ve never had a date for Valentine’s Day.
Hannah nudged him like she’d won some secret trophy. “That’s a hint, man! Ask her out.”
“She has to work,” he said.
Hannah stood over his shoulder, staring at him like that excuse didn’t matter at all.
With a rattling growl in his chest, he typed out a response before he could change his mind.
You want to meet up for an anti-Valentine’s Day coffee? We could do it the 13th if you want.
He typed You don’t have to. I understand if this is too soon, but Hannah poked the delete button before he could give Hadley an out. Meddling woman.
Hadley didn’t answer.
Colin stared at the screen as the minutes ticked by, but nothing. He’d pushed too soon and scared her off. Shit! He’d scared her off him for good. Now there would be no more break in the monotony of his life. No more distraction from his loneliness. No more inside jokes with the woman he liked, and no more living to see a message from her in his inbox.
No more Hadley.
“Don’t say anything else, just leave it like that,” Hannah advised.
But by the time he’d made dinner and eaten with Riker and his family, Hadley still hadn’t responded. A sinking feeling burned in the pit of his stomach, and it felt like something huge was sitting on his chest, making it hard for him to breathe.
He scooped up Ava and walked Riker and Hannah to their truck.
“It’ll be okay,” Hannah said. “You’ll see.”
But unless this was some hint into the secret world of women that she was privy to and he wasn’t, he didn’t see how anything would b
e okay again. He felt like he had been actually living again this past month since he’d built a friendly relationship with Hadley. And now, it hurt too much to think about the bleak future ahead of him.
He waved them off, and when he went back inside, swore to himself that he wouldn’t look at the damned computer. Instead, he veered into the bathroom and took a long shower.
Nothing had changed since he’d found Hadley online, so why did it feel like his entire world was crumbling around him?
Bloop.
Colin frowned and poked his head beyond the shower curtain. Shaking his head, he lathered his skin and rinsed off.
Bloop.
Okay, he hadn’t imagined the sound of a message that time. Rushing, he hit the tap and grabbed a towel. He was still soaking wet as he padded down the hall to his computer desk.
Anti-Valentine’s Day coffee, huh?
Sorry it took so long for me to answer. One of my vendors backed out of my Valentine’s Day shipment and I’ve been trying to track down someone else who can deliver two hundred red roses…anyway. Coffee sounds good. Where do you live by the way?
His fingers flew as he typed out a response.
Really? I live near Sheridan, which is why I was attracted to your profile. You live in Buffalo still, right? I can meet you at the coffee shop in town, or we can meet up in Sheridan if it makes you more comfortable.
Two minutes ticked by. His heart was going to jump out of his chest.
Do you know the Dash Inn?
Yes.
Meet there at noon? I have a short lunch break then.
A grin took his face.
Sounds good. I’ll be there.
Bearman28?
Yeah?
I really hope you aren’t a creeper.
Chapter Two
What had Hadley been thinking? She had the perfect relationship with Bearman28. Shallow, not terrifying, not feeling like she was jumping off a cliff, just nice and casual, and now that would all be ruined.
