by K. Aten
After Sarah was finished for the night, Annie ran up and gave her another huge hug. “That was totally awesome!”
Sarah laughed. “Thanks, sis. Even though I think you’re biased, I’ll have to agree with you. This venue is a great little place to play. It has wonderful acoustics and sound.” She began packing up her gear. “I think I’m really going to like this gig.”
The women were laughing and talking while a dozen feet away Keller was hiding in her office. She started pacing and mumbling to herself. “What am I going to do?” Every few turns around the desk, she ran her hands through her short hair, messing it even further. She was afraid that she had made a mistake sleeping with the singer, and she was even more afraid that she almost did not sleep with her. She knew that Sarah had caught a glimpse of her darkest self and feared the other woman finding out her secret. Her voice was a whisper in the small room. “So why did I do it? I just left, letting her remember. What was I thinking?” She stopped and in a sudden rage cleared the top of her desk. Luckily, the laptop was locked away in the safe for the night. She leaned onto the edge of the heavy piece of furniture and squeezed her hands around the stainless steel top. The desk groaned and thumb-size indentions formed in the smooth surface. Keller looked down and noticed what her anger had accomplished. “Fuck!” She stalked across the room and threw herself onto the leather couch sitting against the wall, holding her head in both her hands. “She’s inside my head and I can’t get her out. Fuck!”
THE BEGINNING OF the next week found Keller and Annie both working early at the bar. Annie was looking over some posters she wanted to hang around town and Keller was helping stock the garnish in the small prep bins. Julie, the newly promoted lead bartender working the afternoon shift, ran out to get more juice leaving the two women alone. Keller was industriously slicing limes when Annie took a break to study her. “Hmm…”
Keller glanced up without stilling the perfect rhythm of her hands. “What?”
Annie cocked her head to the side. “I just noticed that you don’t wear earrings. Are your ears even pierced?”
The question caused Keller’s perfect slicing to falter and miss the lime. “Shit!” She immediately stuck the cut finger in her mouth and set down the knife. Annie jumped off her bar stool and went to help.
“Let me see.” She tried fruitlessly to get Keller’s finger out of her mouth. Keller just shrugged her off.
“Ifs owfrite!” She mumbled around the hurt digit. Annie frowned. “Keller!”
The bar manager pulled the finger out with a pop. “Fine, see? It’s okay. I must have nicked it or smacked the nail, or something. Let me go clean it up just in case.” She hustled toward the back, leaving Annie standing there in astonishment. The unmarked finger was as vivid in her mind’s eye as the blood on the stainless steel cutting board. It only took a minute and Keller was back sporting a plastic Band-Aid on the finger in question.
She gave a reassuring smile to her employee. “I found just a tiny little cut, so I cleaned it and opted for a bandage.” She grabbed some paper towel and a spray bottle of bleach then went to work on the cutting board. “I’ll just clean this up and get out of the way before I hurt myself again.”
Annie nodded and played along. “Okay, Julie can finish those later anyway.” Inside her head, she was screaming. What the fuck?
Keller went into her office and returned a few minutes later wearing her favorite sweatshirt. With hood up and sunglasses on, she headed for the door. “I have a few errands to run, I’ll be back tonight to help out a little in case it gets busy, okay?”
She was out the door before Annie could finish replying, “Sure thing, Keller.” She thought to herself, once again, “What the hell?”
THE FRIDAY AFTER Sarah’s first performance found her back at Voodoo Pony. This time she was there as an observer, watching the band chosen to alternate with her on the gig. The crowd was a lot younger than the previous week and the band, Mary’s Angels, appeared to be a local favorite. She studied the setup on stage, taking note of the bass and lead guitars, drums, and a very nice electronic keyboard. Like herself, the band had CD’s to sell afterward and she actually enjoyed their stuff enough to buy two of them.
She had seen Keller a few times since their hookup. Each time they flirted shamelessly with each other. But other than the night she was playing, she hadn’t gotten any real indications of further interest from her at all. Sarah couldn’t help thinking about their night together. She was drawn to the other woman in a way that was completely foreign to her. Sarah had not talked to Annie about it because she was afraid her sister would lecture her again, but she knew that she felt a connection with Keller. That brief stumble while she was playing was a testament to that. Nevertheless, Keller had yet to seek her out again, reaffirming Annie’s previous statement that her boss was definitely a once only kind of woman. And Sarah would never chase another woman simply because the sex was good.
Sarah left Voodoo Pony and went to sit at the main bar of Spin, right across from the dance floor. After ordering her drink she hopped up on a vacated stool to observe the milling chaos around her. The band had done a good job drawing a crowd and Spin was packed with people left over from the show. She scanned the large group of mostly twenty-something women and shook her head in disgust. “God, I feel so old!” Sarah sucked in a breath when she noticed a familiar blonde head across the dance floor. She knew Keller was off duty and from what she could see the bar manager would not stay much longer. She had a leggy brunette grinding into her ass and her face was a study of hot pleasure. Suddenly Keller looked up and straight across the packed room. A wave of goose bumps marched over Sarah’s skin. The singer was taken aback by the fact that Keller’s gaze seemed so remote. Then, just as fast as the two dancers appeared in Sarah’s line of sight they were gone again. The music changed to an even faster beat and she caught a glimpse of the Keller and her companion heading out the door.
Sarah felt immediate pain at what she had just witnessed. She was angry with Keller and more than a little hurt by the other woman’s actions. More so though, she was angry at Keller’s indifference. Not that Sarah expected any sort of loyalty after a onenight stand, however it would be nice if Keller didn’t appear to look right through her. Sarah jumped off her stool and headed for the door to go home. She was going to do her best to put Keller out of her head.
THE NEXT NIGHT she went out to dinner by herself and spent a few hours at the bookstore on Gay Street. She was doing her best not to think about Keller. Finally, she gave it up as a lost cause, collected her purchases, and went home. When she arrived, she was greeted at the door by a very anxious Husky who was in need a potty break. She smiled to herself as she walked Duke down to the park and back. It seemed so strange how quickly she got used to another person's presence after being by herself on the road. She had been on her own for the evening because she hadn’t completely reconnected with her old friends and didn’t really feel like calling any of them. Also, it was Annie’s night off and she chose to spend her evening out on a date. Sarah made a face and spoke to the Husky pacing at her side. “Dating, Ick!” It had been a very long time since she had been on a real date with anyone. Her opportunities had been few and far between with raising Annie and later touring.
After they relieved the Husky’s needs, both woman and dog returned to the house. Sarah noticed an unfamiliar car parked in the drive as they came up the sidewalk. When she unlocked the door and stepped inside, the lights in the living room were dimmed and music played softly on the stereo. She quickly clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her imminent laughter when she realized some of the noise coming from the next room was definitely not from the surround sound speakers. She let Duke off his leash and quietly hung it with her jacket on the coat rack in the entryway. Then she comically peeked around the corner with the dog mimicking her movements. Annie sat straddling her date’s lap, grinding against the other woman. They were kissing feverishly and moaning softly.
Sarah thought to herself, “Aww, she’s all grown up. Not looking very prudish now, are we Annie girl!”
Sarah got Duke’s attention and motioned toward her sister. The smart dog trotted over to the two women who were so busy making out that neither heard him approach. When he cocked his head giving Sarah a questioning look, she motioned him on toward the women. Mentally counting down, she grinned and waited for the inevitable. Duke did what all dogs do and put his nose somewhere it didn’t belong. The dual screams made the dog yip and scramble backward, practically tripping over his own tail. Sarah, for her part, was doubled over in laughter as the other two women hastily straightened their clothes.
Annie jumped off the unknown date’s lap. “Sarah!” When Sarah looked at her, she laughed even harder. Annie looked down and hastily fixed the buttons on her shirt so they were aligned properly. She mumbled, “Jesus, I thought you were asleep.”
Meanwhile, her date stood and ran a hand through her short dark hair. “Uh, I think I should probably go.”
Sarah finally stopped laughing and Annie grabbed her date’s hand. “Sarah, this is Jesse.” Laughing herself, she added, “Jesse, this is my older sister, Sarah.” She pointed at the innocent looking dog laying on the love seat. “My friend over there with the cold nose is her dog, Duke.”
Jesse laughed too and shook Sarah’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Sarah.” Turning back to Annie she added, “Babe, I really do need to go. I have to work at seven tomorrow morning.”
Annie pouted for a second. “Damn, that’s right. Sorry I kept you so long.”
Jesse wiggled her eyebrows. “I’m not!”
The two women were lost in the moment, only moving when Sarah chuckled and walked into the kitchen. She was still in the kitchen when Annie returned from walking Jesse out to her car. Sarah was sitting at the breakfast bar with a glass of milk and a plate of cookies. Annie spied the treats. “Ooh, yum!” She got her own glass of moo juice and sat down on the other stool. She grinned as she dunked her cookie. “Just like old times, huh?”
Sarah smiled at the memories. “Uh huh.” The age difference made it hard for them to have the usual sister-sister relationship. Or maybe it was easier because neither ended up hating the other. One thing both women absolutely loved while growing up was cookies. Whenever Sarah came home from college, she would always spend the first few hours with Annie. More often than not they could be found sitting up in one of their bedrooms with milk and a package of the sweet treats. Even better were the times that their mom had batches of homemade for them. That was how they maintained their bond and caught up with each other.
Annie also smiled at the memories. It was the times with just the two of them that she cherished above all else. She practically idolized her older sister when she was younger. All her friends thought her sister was totally cool. The two girls spent as much time as possible together whenever Sarah came home. That was the stuff that held them together after the death of their parents.
Sarah swallowed a bite of her cookie. “Sooo, how was the date?”
Annie blushed. “Good. I really like her.”
“Heh, I could tell.”
Annie bumped Sarah’s shoulder with her own. “No, I’m being serious!” She looked thoughtful. “There’s just something about her that drives me crazy. It’s like—we just click. You know?”
Sarah thought of her own reaction to Keller. “Yeah, I know.” She grabbed another cookie off the plate and dunked it into her milk. “So, is it serious?”
Annie, mouth full of cookie, nodded and swallowed. “Yeah, we’ve known each other for a while. We started dating a couple months ago.” She blushed and giggled. “It sounds silly, but just tonight we decided to be a couple.”
“But I thought you said you’ve been seeing each other for a while now?”
“Well, we decided to get serious tonight. I mean serious as in monogamy and spending more time together kind of serious. We’ve been taking things really slow.” Annie laughed again. “No moving van yet though.”
Sarah snorted. “Good to hear.”
Annie smirked at her older sister. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Have you met anyone interesting since you’ve been back?”
Sarah shrugged. “Not really.” She did not want to mention her fascination with Keller. Somehow, she didn’t think that bit of information would go over too well with her over-protective little sister. “I’ll let you know as soon as I find anyone of interest though.”
Unfortunately, Annie wasn’t fooled. Nonchalantly she said, “I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”
Sarah choked on her cookie in surprise. “What! Who?”
“Oh, come on. I’m not stupid Sarah. I see the way you look at each other.” She put a comforting hand on Sarah’s arm. “I just wanted you to know that whatever you two may have going on, I’ve never seen her act this way before.”
Sarah wiped her mouth with a napkin. “I, uh, don’t really know what’s going on. I’ve never been drawn to anyone like I am to her.” She shrugged, “It’s not like I don’t know the score. The sex we had was great but clearly that’s all it was. I’m fine with it.”
Not really believing her, Annie nodded anyway. “Just be careful, okay?”
“It’s just a little harmless flirting, we’ll be fine.” She reached over and tugged her Annie’s earlobe. “Thanks for worrying about me. It means a lot.”
Annie stood and rinsed her glass. “Anytime, sis, but right now I’m off to bed. I’ve got class in the morning.”
They said their goodnights and made their way to bed. Even as Sarah drifted off to sleep, she couldn’t help thinking about what her sister had said. It just confirmed what she already felt deep inside her. She and Keller had a connection but only time would tell what it was and if it would lead them anywhere.
WEEKS WENT BY and slowly Sarah began to re-establish her old life. She still hadn’t decided what she wanted to do with herself. They had a lot of life insurance money still in savings even after paying for Annie’s college education, and Sarah was technically entitled to half. Lately she had been seriously considering two options. The first was one she had been thinking about for a very long time. Sarah had always wanted to be a private music instructor. She truly enjoyed music in all forms and always had a knack for teaching. Being a night owl, she never really cared for the regimentation and the hours that a school required. She hated the politics and being in the closet when she worked for the academy. On the other hand, her other option had a lot of stress and politics involved too. She was considering opening her own recording studio. She had already talked to Annie about both ideas in length. Annie told her that she would completely support her, no matter what she wanted. Therefore, she was taking her time just to be sure she knew what that was.
Things were still heated between her and Keller. Every time Sarah performed, Keller would stand in the back and watch. The feelings that the silent gaze evoked were beyond anything Sarah could explain. Even when they spoke to each other, they were very flirtatious and the sexual tension had begun to wear on her nerves. Unfortunately, the two women had not shared another night together. In fact, Keller left the bar with a different woman every time Sarah had seen her out. If something didn’t give soon, she was sure to explode. But one thing she knew for certain, the first move would have to be made by Keller.
KELLER WAS HAVING problems of her own. The rash of violence against the LGBTQ community had escalated. There was another bashing in the alley behind Vineyard. Everyone was getting worried and they were taking extra precautions outside the bar as well. Better lights and new security cameras had been installed around the perimeter. So far, nothing had happened near The Merge but she wasn’t going to take any chances. On top of her professional problems, she was having personal problems. She could not get the beautiful singer off her mind. She was having trouble sleeping and wasn’t eating enough to sustain her. Her string of sexual
conquests had become a meaningless blur. The last two she left the bar with went home disappointed. Keller had lost her need, her lust. All of it had narrowed down to focus on Sarah. Every day that went by since the night of their shared passion only served to convince her that Sarah was the one.
Keller had always believed there was a love meant for everyone. She believed that people had a one-time bond that would last forever and complete their soul. She didn’t just believe it, she’d seen it time and time again through the years. Because of her unique circumstances, she gave up finding the other half of her soul. But Sarah was the one, Keller was certain in the depths of her heart. All the signs were there—the instant attraction, the deep magnetism that drew the two women together, and the emotional feedback from their orgasm was beyond comprehension. The bond was partially sealed the night she went home with the singer. Now she was afraid. If she told Sarah the truth, all of it, she would lose her. But if she didn’t tell her the truth, she would lose herself. It didn’t help that Annie was becoming more and more perceptive every day. Lately she had been asking a lot of strange questions and Keller was afraid her employee might stumble onto the secret on her own. Things were slowly getting out of control and she feared that she would have to leave the life she had been building for herself over the last few years. More importantly than her life though, she would be leaving her heart.
