by Erin Trejo
I think about her a lot. That little girl. The one that’s out there alone. The one I can’t help just yet. I pray that she’s safe. I pray that no one is hurting her the way they are me. I don’t think I could handle that knowledge. As this man violates me in ways that no one should ever, I zone out to memories of her.
When I come to the man is gone. I’m completely naked, and there’s a hundred dollar bill on the nightstand. I stand up on sore legs and head to the bathroom. When I flick the light on, I see the discarded condom. Taking a deep breath, I climb in the shower and turn on the cold water. I won’t break. I won’t. I repeat this in my head as the water hits my skin. Bumps form but I barely feel them. I barely feel anything anymore. My heart is hollow and my soul is empty. I wash quickly and get out, changing into some of my baggy sweats and a t-shirt, sliding my feet into my chucks. Looking at the bed that I was just used on makes my stomach lurch. I shake my head, grab my pillow and head out into the living room. Not like it’s any better out here. My mom is wasted, her head lolling to the side. A man sits on the couch, his cock half out. Taking a deep breath, I walk out the front door and down the block. Hitting the alley, I shuffle through some trash that lines the ground and jump the small fence. This is stupid. I shouldn’t be doing this. If he finds out I’m here, he would lose his goddamn mind. As my stomach trembles and bile rises in my throat, I raise my hand and knock softly on the window. It takes a few times then the curtain pulls back and she’s there.
“Layla?” She asks looking at me with groggy eyes. I don’t say anything as her eyes travel to the pillow in my hand. Shoving the window all the way up, she reaches out, taking the pillow and motioning for me to come in. I grab the windowsill and hoist myself up, climbing in.
“Are you okay?” She asks once I’m inside.
“I didn’t want to wake you up,” I tell her and she shakes her head.
“It’s fine. Come on,” she says motioning toward her bed. Vomit stings the back of my throat as I force it back.
“Floor’s fine.” She starts to protest, to say something more when she looks back over at me. She must be able to see it. I can’t, I just can’t do it. Pulling a blanket off her bed, she passes it to me. I lie down, curling into myself on her floor. I can hear her climb back in bed and no other words are spoken.
I try to drift off to sleep but it’s no use. I can’t. Her face is always front and center in my mind. It’s always there and the fact that my mom didn’t care. She watched them take her. How could she do that? What kind of mother let’s that happen? Tears burn the back of my eyes, I don’t let them fall. I can’t. I won’t. That’s when I hear them. The GV guys.
“I don’t know, Ace. I don’t like what’s going on with Brick,” Cato says.
“Me either. We do what we need to do for right now. It’ll work itself out later,” Ace tells him.
“Just like Regg,” Fox laughs.
“Regg is now in pieces over on Fifth Street. His own mom won’t even be able to ID his ass.” That came from Brody before they all laugh.
“So when do we get a chance to fuck that sexy little Lala?” Cato’s voice is low yet it seems to blast through my ears. They won’t fucking do it. I won’t let them. I clench my eyes shut thinking I made the biggest mistake of my life coming here when I hear Ace.
“No one is fucking touching her!”
“Jesus, man. What the hell is with you?” Brody asks him.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Really? You just about lost your shit right then,” Fox adds.
“Fuck off. All of you,” Ace snaps loudly.
“You got a thing for our little play toy, Ace?” Fox asks him. I shouldn’t be listening to this. I should go home but I can’t move. I’m numb and that’s just how I want to be.
“Go to fucking hell. I said no one touches her!” His roar causes Clar to stir but she doesn’t wake up. Thank God for small miracles.
Chapter 5
Acen
“I just need another hit,” my mom says as drool slips down her chin. It makes me sick to look at her, I pull the baggy from my pocket and toss it to her anyway. At least I know she isn’t getting it from someplace else. That shit could be laced with only God knows what.
“You know what they call that?” Clarissa asks glancing over at me.
“No, what?”
“You’re enabling. You need to stop. She needs to go to rehab, Acen.” I roll my eyes as my mom licks her lips.
“She isn’t going anywhere. We’ve tried that. It never ends, sister.”
“You keep bringing it back!” Clarissa snaps. I shove out of the chair and stand with my hands on my hips.
“Would it be better if I let her go out and whore for it? Get some laced shit like Charlie’s dad? Is that what you fucking want?” Tears fill her eyes as I let out a sigh. Dropping my arms to my side, I walk toward her, pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry. I just don’t think I can come home and find her lying there, Clarissa.”
“I know. I’m sorry too,” she whispers with her head buried in my chest. I run my hand down her back, keeping her close. When she pulls away the door opens and the guys walk in.
“What did we miss?” Brody asks when he spots the tears on Clarissa’s cheeks. She quickly wipes them and walks back into her room.
“Nothing. What’s up?” I look over my shoulder and decide to follow my sister into her room. The guys do the same. Clarissa digs through her drawers as I drop onto her bed. Pulling her pillow to my face, I inhale deeply, that isn’t my sisters scent. What the fuck? This smells just like Layla.
“Clarissa you going to the pool with us?” Cato asks.
“Yeah. I’m bringing my friend too so be nice,” she snaps at him over her shoulder when I chuckle. “You too, Acen!”
“Damn. We’re always nice to your friends,” I remind her, still holding the pillow.
“Uh, no you aren’t. Denise won’t even come over anymore because she’s afraid you might try and fuck her,” she says pulling some things out of the dresser and tossing them on the bed.
“I wouldn’t touch her,” Fox adds.
“Me either. That chick looks like she might be packing something way too similar to mine,” Brody chimes in. We all laugh until Layla walks in the bedroom door, it all stops.
“Hey, Layla! Come on in. These assholes were just leaving,” Clarissa says.
“I can wait outside.”
“No, stay,” I say catching her attention. She looks over at me and starts to quickly look away until she spots the pillow in my hands. Her eyes move from it to my eyes before her lips part. I wonder why the hell her pillow is here. Has she been staying here? No, I would have known.
“I have these two. You can pick which one you want to wear,” Clarissa says holding up two very skimpy bikinis. Fuck me. Layla in a two piece? This I have to see.
“Go for the white one, Lala. It will look sexy as fuck with your skin tone,” Brody declares. Layla rolls her eyes and looks away. I shove off the bed, tossing the pillow back down before moving to grab the white one. Clarissa huffs out a breath and reaches to grab it back when Brody moves in to grab her around the waist. He lifts her as she squeals.
“Put me down,” she yelps.
“I have to agree. I think this is going to look damn good on you,” I say softly as I stalk toward her. She doesn’t look away. She holds her head high and keeps her eyes locked on mine. She’s stubborn. Or maybe she’s stupid. I haven’t decided yet I’m the last person she should try to stand up to.
“I don’t give two shits what you think would look good on me.”
“Why not? That white t-shirt…damn that did something to me,” I remind her.
“The one you ruined? Thanks for that by the way.”
“You ruined her clothes? What the hell, Acen?” Clarissa yells as she rushes toward me and grabs the top out of my hand.
“I didn’t ruin a damn thing. It looked sexy.”
“You are one sick fuck,” she adds. “Ge
t out so we can get ready.”
“I think we should stay. Free strip show,” Fox says. I roll my eyes having no desire to see my little sister without clothing on. Layla on the other hand? I’d love to see that.
“Fine. Hurry the hell up,” I tell her as I spin and head out the door. The guys follow as I grab my bag off the couch and move toward the door.
“She’s a little cock tease,” Cato groans as he adjusts his cock in his shorts.
“Lala?” Glancing over my shoulder he shakes his head.
“No. Clarissa! Fuck man,” he groans once more when I spin around and grab him. Slamming his back against the car, he huffs out a breath.
“What the fuck?” he growls.
“Keep looking at my sister like that and I’ll cut your fucking eyes out, asshole.”
“Calm down, Ace.” Fox has no room to talk here considering he’s brought it up more than once too.
“Fuck off. All of you keep your goddamn eyes of Clarissa,” I hiss.
“What about Lala? Can we have some fun with her?” I release this asshole and pull my keys from my pocket before rounding the car.
“She’s fair game,” I say trying to keep them away from the fact that I want her for myself.
Chapter 6
Layla
I sat quietly in the back of Acen’s SUV as he drove us over to the pool. It’s in the next town over, one I’ve never been to before. It makes me slightly nervous but at the same time, it might be a nice change.
“Just take it off,” Clar says as I cling to the t-shirt that covers the bikini. I don’t want to take it off. I don’t want anyone seeing what’s underneath.
“I can just swim with it on,” I tell her.
“No, you can’t. Besides, it’s hot as hell out. Come on.” I look over at her and see the pleading look in her eyes. “I don’t want to go out there like this by myself,” she adds pointing at her body. I don’t see what’s wrong with her, her body is perfect. Slowly I pull the shirt over my head. Clar’s eyes move over my body as a grin spreads across her face.
“You are hot, girl! Damn!”
“I’m not. I look like shit. Look at me,” I say holding my arms out so she can see my body. Her eyes move over me before she shrugs.
“You are just you, Layla. Don’t be ashamed of that. We all have scars.” I lift my head and look at her while she smiles at me. I nod my head and swallow hard before following behind her out of the shower room. As soon as we step out, whistles float through the air. It isn’t from the guys either, it’s from other guys here at the pool. Acen sits in a lawn chair near the pool, sunglasses blocking anyone from seeing his eyes. The others are all laughing and splashing around in the pool having a good time. Clar takes off, diving into the water. Thanks a lot for waiting on me. Bitch.
Wrapping my arms across my stomach, I walk toward the opposite side of the pool. Even with his glasses on, I can feel Acen’s gaze on me. It’s always burning into me. I sit on the edge of the pool and slip my feet into the cool water. It does feel good on this hot day, I will admit that. I watch Clar as she swims and laughs with the guys. A small smile pulls across my face. It’s nice to see her smile. Closing my eyes and enjoying the sun, I feel someone come closer. Before I notice who it is, someone parts my legs and moves in between them. I start to jerk back when Ace’s hands tighten on my thighs. My heart jack hammers in my chest as I look down into his eyes.
“Those are burn marks,” he says more to himself than to me, eyeing my stomach. I cross my arms trying to hide them. He reaches up, water dripping from his hands onto my heated flesh and moves them. “Who burnt you?” His fingers come to the first one and runs over it. The shudder that races through me doesn’t go unnoticed by him either. His smirk tells all.
“No one.”
“Someone did it. Unless you did it to yourself,” he adds. I try to pull away he just tightens his other hand around my thigh. “Cigarettes,” he whispers. My chest rises and falls rapidly as the memories assault me. I should have listened. I should have just done what I was told to do. Why didn’t I? Why did I have to see how far I could push him? It almost killed her. I know it did deep down. I could feel it.
“Lala?” His voice is louder as my body is hoisted from where I was sitting and into the water. Panic shakes me as I try to pull away from him once more. It takes me a second to gain my bearings when I notice the intensity in Ace’s eyes. “Where’d you go just then?” His words should be calming, comforting but they aren’t. He isn’t the nice guy.
“Let me go,” I say in a low tone. My chest is too tight. It’s all too much.
“If I don’t?”
“I’ll scream.” He laughs.
“I don’t care about screaming.”
“I’ll fight you,” I tell him.
“A little thing like you against me? How do you think that would end?” I don’t like his threats. I don’t like his tone and I sure as hell don’t like how I respond to him being inside of me. My body trembles. My heart beats faster. I hate it all. Fucking body betrays me all the time.
“Tell me who put them there and I will leave you alone.” My head snaps back so I can look up at him.
“Forever?” I raise an eyebrow.
“For now.”
“My stepdad.” Raising my hands, I press them to his chest, shoving away from him. Ace watches me as I swim away, straight toward Clar. She smiles when she sees me, pulling me into a hug.
“Are you loving this water?” She squeals.
“Yeah, it’s great.” Squinting my eyes, Cato moves closer to me. I should back away yet I don’t. Instead, I watch him as he pulls his sunglasses off his face and places them on mine. I start to reach for them when he shakes his head.
“Wear them. It’s bright out here.”
“Chicken?” Fox asks looking between us. I shake my head no but by the time I can think about moving, Cato has me lifted onto his shoulders. I hold on tightly, trying not to fall when Fox lifts Clar up.
“I got this!” Clar hollers. I smile as Brody wiggles his eyebrows.
“You ever play, Lala?” he asks.
“No.”
“Just try to push her off Fox’s shoulders. That’s it. Don’t let her take you down though,” he adds pointing at me. I nod my head and smile as Cato moves through the water. Clar comes at me, grabbing my shoulders. I nearly fall but Cato keeps us upright. I go back after her and knock her from Fox’s shoulders. Cato laughs and roars as his fingers stay pressed into the flesh of my thighs.
“That’s my girl! Four more and we win!” I laugh as Fox picks Clar back up and holds her again. We play like this for a long time before the sun begins to dip lower in the sky. Cato releases me from his shoulders and Clar and I swim around. The guys climb out and head toward the changing rooms when I see Acen swing. Cato’s head snaps to the side before the others move in and break them up.
“Shit,” I whisper.
“Oh damn. Wonder what that was about. They don’t fight,” Clar adds having seen it too.
“Ever?” I ask glancing over at her. She shakes her head as I brush my wet hair from my face. Dark eyes swing our way and even in the warm pool, I shudder.
“No. Never. This is new and I think it’s about you.”
“No it’s not.”
“Well, he’s eyeing you like it is.”
“I didn’t do anything to him,” I say before turning my back on that unnerving gaze of his.
“I don’t think it matters. Acen is…well he’s possessive over what’s his.” I bark out a laugh.
“Too bad I’m not his!”
“I don’t know how true that is.” His voice vibrates through me as Clar watches the scene unfold. His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me back into him.
“You might not but I do. I’m not yours. I’m not anyone’s.” His lips hover near my neck and my body responds. My nipples tighten and my pussy clenches. He hasn’t even touched me in any way. Shit. Fuck. Damn. I’m so screwed.
Chapter 7<
br />
Acen
I dropped the girls off at the house even though I didn’t want to. I wanted to taste her. I wanted to bend her ass over my bed and take her, show her who she belongs to but I couldn’t.
My cigarette hangs from my lips as I look around.
“This is bullshit,” Cato mumbles.
“Which part? The stake out or the black eye?” Fox asks him. A chill runs down my spine. This isn’t good.
“Something’s wrong,” I say softly. Dropping my cigarette to the ground, I snuff it out with the toe of my boot. Just as I reach around to grab my gun, a fist hits my face. All hell ensues. The guys are all growling as fights break out. I swing and land one to the guys ribs. My eyes refocus as he moves at me. This time I see the glint of the blade in his hand as it reflects in the moonlight. This was supposed to be a simple recon. Check out what Consuelo’s crew is up to. Looking at this guy, he doesn’t resemble one of them. The guy steps in, lunging closer. I side step, the blade barely missing my side. The guy steps in again, a roar sounds from Brody causing my steps to falter. I made a fucking mistake. The blade slips easily into my flesh.
“Fuck!” My voice thunders through the darkness as I move quickly. The man comes back at me but I’m on my game this time. He moves in and I grab his wrist. With a twist, he drops the blade to the ground. Shoving him back, I kick him in the ribs watching him stumble backward. That’s my chance. I lunge, leaping onto him. My fist crashes into his face, blood spurting out of his nose. I keep punching until I can’t see straight.
Those burn marks. Someone burnt her. Why am I thinking about her right now?
“Yo! Acen!” Shaking my head, I pull out of Fox’s hold and glance around. My chest is rumbling with anger.
