by Erin Trejo
“Given me what?” I wonder out loud as I slide my hands into my back pockets and tilt my head to study him.
“Where is my daughter?” He hisses. Ace punches him in the ribs just as the words leave his mouth. I watch the anger in Ace’s eyes and it intrigues me but instead of asking him about it, I turn back to Ben.
“Did you know the whole time who my dad was?” Ben narrows his eyes before a slow smirk crosses his face.
“You met him?”
“Can I just kill the asshole?” Cato asks ready to kick the chair out from under him.
“Not yet,” Ace growls.
“Where is my kid?” Another punch to his ribs, a cracking sound echoes through the room.
“She’s dead.” The words fall from my lips as a whisper.
“You little slut! You couldn’t even keep her safe!”
“Enough!” Ace growls before he shoves the chair from under him. Ben’s body jumps and jerks as the life is slowly squeezed from his body. I stand there watching him swing slightly feeling numb.
“Cut the tie off his wrists,” Ace says pointing at Cato. He moves to do as he was told when an arm wraps around me.
“How did you kill the first one?” Ace whispers in my ear.
“Stabbed him; so many times I couldn’t count. I didn’t feel anything.”
“What do you feel now?”
“I honestly don’t know.” And I don’t. I thought I’d feel better. I thought eliminating the ones that hurt me would make me feel something, however it doesn’t. I’m just as numb as I’ve ever been.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” Fox says pulling my attention to his. I nod my head and follow them out the door. Back in the car, I lay my head back and consider what I’m doing. My chest aches. I want to curl into a ball and cry. I want justice for Laney. I want Rico dead. I want my dad dead. I want everyone to pay for what they did to her. Acen’s phone rings as Fox pulls out onto the road.
I don’t pay any attention to his conversation. None of it matters anymore. I press my forehead to the cool window as I watch the big houses slowly fade back into the trash we’ve come to know as home. As soon as the car stops, I climb out and walk into Ace’s house like a zombie. I don’t feel anything the way I should, not anymore. As soon as I step inside I come face to face with Clarissa’s mom.
“You still here?” She sneers in my direction. I can tell that she needs a fix. She claws at her skin, her body trembling. I never want to be like that. Ever.
“You still breathing?” I hiss back at her.
“You little bitch!” She screams taking a step toward me. Acen picks this time to come inside and step directly between us.
“I warned you about talking to her.”
“I just need something Ace. Do you have something?” Ace reaches into his pocket and pulls out the baggy, tossing it at her. I don’t wait around to watch her shoot that garbage into her veins. Instead, I slowly drag myself into Ace’s room and into his bathroom. Flipping the water on, I slowly undress as I stare at myself in the mirror. I look like death. There are bags under my eyes, my skin pale. I tilt my head and just look at who I’ve become when it all hits me. A sob escapes me when the door closes and Ace steps up behind me, our eyes meet in the mirror and it’s almost as if he can see it. The pain, the self-hatred.
“I’ve never loved anyone but her,” I whisper as the emotions I tried to hold back burst forward. Ace nods his head, reaching for the hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head. We still stare at each other in the mirror as he moves to unhook my bra and slide it down my arms.
“She loved you too,” he says softly. He pulls my shoes off and then my jeans and panties before moving to do the same to himself. Then he lifts me in his arms and steps into the small shower.
“I didn’t protect her.” The words come out as a sob that quickly bubbles into screams. Wracking cries tear from my body as he keeps me held close. His hand runs up and down my back as I mourn the loss that I could have prevented. I should have done what Rico wanted. I should have ruined this crew just like I was told to do but I didn’t and now I have to live with that fact.
“You did the best you could,” Ace whispers into my ear. His face nuzzles into my neck as I cry into him.
“No. I didn’t. I didn’t give you up! I didn’t give them what they wanted, I caused this. It’s all my fault.” His body tenses before he steps back from me. Grabbing my chin roughly in his hand, he forces me to look up at him.
“If you could change it all, would you? Would you turn on us?” I can’t answer him, how could I? If I did what they wanted my little girl would be alive. Or would she? Rico never wanted me to keep her to begin with. He always told me she was a complication that no one needed. He tried to force me to give her up for adoption, I refused. I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to. Now seeing Acen staring into my soul the way he is, I can’t breathe. When I don’t answer he nods his head not saying another word. I can’t take it. Climbing out of the shower I grab a towel and wrap it around myself as the tears roll down my cheeks. I find my spot on the floor and curl into a ball.
Eventually I hear the shower turn off and the door close but the tears won’t stop. I hear the bed shift as I shake from the sobs. Within seconds, I feel him behind me. His warm body presses into mine as he pulls me closely. I should push him away, I just don’t have the strength right now. Instead, I lean into his touch and cry until I fall asleep.
Chapter 29
Acen
“We need a plan.”
“You should tell her,” Fox urges me.
“I can’t. Not until I know it’s true. What’s the point of getting her hopes up?” I’m sick of this conversation already.
“We just need a plan,” I tell them as I pick at my lunch. We had to come to school. There was no way around it. But now that I’m here I don’t really want to be. “Shut up here she comes.” Layla walks toward the table, her head down in defeat. She looks so worn out. I hate seeing her like this. After the other night, I haven’t let her out of my sight. When she’s close enough, I grab her and pull her into my lap. She doesn’t smile, doesn’t smirk. It’s like the girl we’ve all come to know has disappeared and this one has taken her place.
I press a kiss to her neck and she doesn’t even shiver anymore. Nothing gets through to her. It’s been a week since we killed Ben. A week since I got that phone call. I have done nothing except sort through ideas since then, however seeing her like this? I know I need to get this shit in motion.
“You need to eat,” I whisper in her ear. She just shakes her head, withdrawn. Clarissa strolls over, grabbing Layla’s hand and pulling her from my lap. I almost protest but Layla goes willingly. Clarissa gives me a sad smile as she pulls my girl away from me.
“This is bullshit!” Brody roars catching attention from the room.
“We need to move.” That was Fox.
“We are moving. After the fucking bell rings. We don’t need the probation officer up our asses,” I remind them. They all nod just as lunch finishes up. I shove off the bench and head toward the hallway when I see her. Layla is slumped over holding her stomach. Clarissa is rubbing her back and I just lose it. Spinning around, I punch the locker closest to me until my hand becomes numb. Roars and growls rip from my throat until I feel her hands wrap around my waist. I spin quickly and lift her in my arms, kissing her roughly. God, I need this girl. I need her to breathe and I’m losing her. I can feel it.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I press my head to her shoulder.
“How did you know?”
“Know what?” I ask pulling my head back to look at her. She looks confused when she looks toward Clarissa. What the hell is going on now? I lower her to her feet and she tries to step away from me, as if I’d let her.
“What the hell is going on?” Looking between her and Clarissa, I can see they have something to say.
“What’s this?” Brody asks holding some kind of stick in his hand.
“Wh
ere’d you get that?” I nod toward his hand.
“Layla’s bag.”
“What the hell are you doing going through my bag?” She roars lunging for him. I grab her waist and jerk back into me. “Give me that!”
“Calm down! What the hell is going on?” I look to Clarissa as she chews on her lip.
“It’s positive,” Fox says taking it in his hand. “Whose is this?” His eyes move from Clarissa’s to Layla’s as it all hits me. My hand involuntarily moves to Layla’s stomach and she gasps. There’s the answer. I spin her around in my arms, forcing her to look up at me.
“Are you…is this…” I can’t even form the words as tears stream down her cheeks.
“I didn’t want this,” she says slowly shaking her head. “I can’t do this, Acen. I won’t lose another one.” My mouth hangs open as Layla pulls out of my arms and takes off down the hallway. I’m stunned into silence.
“Shit. I’ll go after her,” Cato says before I see him run out of the corner of my eye. What the hell is happening? I can’t be a dad. I am a dad. Shit, I’m going to be a dad. This doesn’t make sense. I’m so confused.
“You don’t think you should go talk to her?” Clarissa says crossing her arms over her chest as she glares at me.
“Clarissa, this is fucked up.”
“You did it, Acen! Deal with it! Don’t you dare think about turning your back on her now,” she screams.
“You don’t get it.”
“Tell me. You made a baby. You did that!” I run my hand through my hair, tugging until my scalp hurts.
“Just…shut up, Clarissa! You don’t understand what’s happening right now!” It’s the tone of my voice that catches her attention and causes her to stop. I watch her as she huffs and turns to walk away.
“I’ll get us excused the rest of the day,” Fox chimes in before heading toward the office. I turn on my heel and walk down the hall in a daze. When I step outside, I see her eyeing Cato furiously. I don’t know what he said to her, it must have been something she didn’t like. They stand there in a showdown. I can practically feel the tension from here as I walk toward them. Her eyes whip my direction and then I feel her wrath.
“Don’t say anything. I don’t need you,” she hisses at me. I chuckle and step into her space.
“You needed me to make that though didn’t you? Was that your plan this whole time?” I want to push her buttons. I want to see the real Layla that I know still lingers inside of her.
“What?”
“You heard me. Did you plan this shit out? Decide to get pregnant to keep me around?” Her eyes flicker with the fire I knew was still inside of her. Her nostrils flare as she balls her fists at her sides. There’s my girl.
“Do you really think I would do that? With you of all people?” She shrieks. I shrug, egging her on. I want her to break and become who she truly is. I want to see her catch fire and burn the world to the ground around her.
“I don’t know. We don’t know each other all that well, right? Maybe this is your way of getting in with us, with this crew. Maybe,” I say stepping closer and leaning down into her face. “This was the plan all along.” Her fist slams into my jaw before she unleashes her fury. Blow after blow, she attacks. Cato curses under his breath but I just let her go. She can use me to take out her anger if that’s what she needs.
“What the hell is this?” Brody calls out until he wraps his arms around Layla and pulls her off me.
“Don’t touch me!” She yells trying to wiggle out his arms.
“Calm down, Lala.”
“Don’t call me that!” Her screams become louder and I become harder. My jeans hug me too tightly and when she kicks back and Cato drops her to the ground, I lose it. I rush over, ripping her from the ground and into my arms. When she starts to fight me, I toss her over my shoulder and carry her kicking and screaming to the car. Tossing her in, the guys all climb in too. She moves for the door when I block it and climb in the back seat with her.
“Cato, drive,” I say grinding my teeth painfully. He jumps in and starts driving when I see the direction he’s going.
“We’re not going home!” Our eyes meet in the rearview.
“We aren’t ready, Acen,” he says shaking his head.
“We don’t have any other choice. She needs to see.”
“I don’t need to see shit! Just let me out of this car,” Layla smarts off. I chuckle and grab her again, pulling her into my lap. I don’t let her speak. I lean in and kiss her roughly instead. Biting into her lip, she moans into my mouth. I know she doesn’t want this right now yet if this is the only way to get her to calm down, then so be it. I suck her tongue into my mouth, taking what I can from her, giving her what she needs.
“Am I calling in, Wick?” Fox asks. I nod my head never breaking our kiss. Wick is a friend of ours, another gang a few cities over. When I finally pull away from her, she breathless. We’ve driven for a while now and when she looks out the window, her face pales.
“Ace?”
“Yeah?”
“What the hell are we doing here?” I shift in the seat, grabbing her face and pulling it toward me once more.
“We’re ending this. All of it.”
“Acen,” she whispers my name and God, do I want to hear it forever.
“Just trust me, baby.”
Chapter 30
Layla
The guys met up with some other guys that they said were friends of theirs. I don’t know them. I’ve never seen them before.
“I need to be there,” I say looking at Brody. He just shakes his head. “I mean it! I need to see it’s over, Brody. Don’t you get that?” Screaming is getting me nowhere, neither is the rope that has my wrists tied together.
“You don’t get it do you?”
“Get what? That I’m being held in my old shit hole of a house while they have all the fun?” I sneer at him.
“No. You don’t get how much you mean to him.” I laugh at that one.
“He doesn’t care about me that much, Brody. Let’s be real.”
“Real? You want real?” He roars storming toward me. His hand wraps around my throat as he pins me to the wall. “What’s real is what he feels for you! What’s real is what we all feel for you, Layla. What’s real is this baby growing inside of you that he put there! Do you need any more realism?” Brody growls in my face.
“This baby wasn’t planned and you know it.”
“Neither was our feelings for you! Neither was the fact that he loves you, damn it, Lala! That man has been a mess for most of his life. He’s never had a good thing and then you showed up. Don’t you dare ruin that for him,” he says gritting his teeth. The door opens and slams shut before we hear Ace growl.
“What the hell are you doing?” He’s coming at Brody full speed when he steps back releasing me. I step in between them, noticing the blood on Acen’s hands and shirt.
“What happened?” His eyes move from Brody to me to the blood and back. He reaches forward grabbing my hands before pulling a knife from the back of his jeans and cutting the rope freeing my hands. He looks confused as he looks down at me. Unsure of what he’s about to say.
“Acen, I…” He shakes his head cutting me off. His eyes meet mine and I’m lost in the emotion I see in him. The door opens once more when I hear the cry. My heart drops as I look over and see Fox holding her. My jaw drops. How is she here?
“Laney?” my voice cracks as I stand stunned. How is she here? He sent me the pictures.
“It wasn’t real, Layla. He lied to you. Those pictures weren’t real,” Ace says resting a hand on my shoulder. Tears slide down my cheeks as he gently guides me toward Fox. My eyes stay on her little face. The little face that I haven’t seen in so long. When we’re close enough, I hold out my hands to take her and she reaches for me. My heart nearly cracks in half as I pull her into my arms and hold her tightly.
“I got you baby girl. I’m here. Mom is here.”
Epilogue
; Three years later
Acen
“That’s not right,” I say pointing to the twisted pieces.
“Like hell it’s not. Don’t tell me how to do this, Acen,” Layla sneers in my direction. I smirk and sit back in the chair letting her do her own thing.
“She’s going to kick your ass, man.” I look over at Brody and smirk.
“No she won’t.” It’s been three long hard years. That night changed us all. Not just Layla. We all walked away from that night with scars and reminders that none of us asked for. We did what we did without regret. We killed Rico and Consuelo. I had people looking into things in the background but I didn’t want Layla to catch wind of it. I kept it all secret until that night. I couldn’t see her hurting like that anymore. I didn’t want to. Rico lied. Not that that was a surprise. He was a real piece of shit from what I found out and heard. He made it seem like Laney was dead just to mess with Layla’s head. The more I searched the more I found. I hated it all too. Her dad did all this for his own wealth. There were far too many players in the game to even try and explain it but basically he used Layla as a pawn in his sick schemes.
“Just forget it! They don’t need this anyway,” Layla huffs throwing a piece of wood across the yard. I chuckle just as Fox and Cato walk over and take over. Layla looks at me and I motion for her to come to me. She does without a fight which shocks me. Everything with us has been a fight. We push each other’s buttons, we see how far we can push the other, though we always come back together in the end.
“You okay?” I ask her, pressing a kiss to her neck.
“They don’t need all this. I never had all this crap and I’m perfectly fine,” she huffs crossing her arms over her chest making me chuckle again.
“Yeah, you’re great,” I add sarcastically. She jabs her elbow into my ribs and I laugh.
“I mean it. I’m not materialistic, Ace.”
