“I gotta keep my clients happy, don’t I?”
Rage boiled under my skin. Even with my mom’s life at stake, Beau was still only concerned about his clubs. “You have been her friend since childhood, Beau. You helped her get away from Grandpa. Why wouldn’t you do everything you could to help find her?”
“Because maybe she doesn’t wanna be found.”
Chapter 24
Gray
“You shoulda called me, Ruby.”
“I already apologized for that. Even Hunt apologized for that. I’m sorry you have your undies in a wad, but it’s over and done with,” she replied without turning around.
I leaned in the kitchen’s doorway, watching Ruby as she assembled a lasagna for the girls’ dinner. Despite my anger and frustration, I enjoyed watching her work like this. She always put together a dinner for them before taking her nap if she had to work a night shift. Ruby’s love language was food, and she made sure we were always well fed.
I folded my arms over my chest and tried not to sound too irrational. Even though I was terrified when she told me where she’d been. “Ruby, it’s not just that you went to a criminal’s house. It’s that you knew someone that could lead us to your mother. But instead of giving that information to Annika, who’s been running her ass off for you, you kept it to yourself.”
“Apologized for that too,” she mumbled and slapped a noodle onto the stack. “Been apologizing since I got back. What more do you want from me, Gray?”
“I want you to trust me.”
“I do trust you,” she said without looking up from her task. “I let you watch my girls, don’t I? I let you pick them up from school and stay the night while I work.”
I snorted. “You trust me enough to act like a nanny to those girls. But that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“What more is there?”
I watched her pour sauce over the noodles and add more cheese, feeling like she’d shoved a knife in my side. Had I misunderstood everything? I spent every day with Ruby and the girls, but it wasn’t just to be a surrogate guardian when Ruby needed help. I was there because I wanted to be; because I wanted to spend time with Ruby. Because I was fucking invested.
“Ruby, you have to know there’s more than that. Please tell me you understand that.”
Ruby sighed and pulled a sheet of foil over the pan, and wrote instructions on it in permanent marker. Then she shoved the pan into the fridge and finally turned to give me her full attention.
“I’m too tired to have this conversation. I gotta take my nap, and you gotta get the girls.”
I held out a hand to stop her from leaving the kitchen. “Hunt’s picking them up.”
Ruby’s eyes narrowed, and I felt that look slice me even deeper. “Fine. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go to sleep.”
“We’re not done here,” I said and shifted again to block her way.
“Yes, we are!” Ruby snapped as she jabbed a finger in my chest. “We’re done discussing this. I’m not gonna justify myself to you any more than I already have, Grayson. I understand I upset you. I also understand you and Hunt still use some stupid army chain-o-command shit that I violated, and I apologized.”
“It’s not that—”
“Isn’t it? ’Cus’ it sure seems like some stupid boy’s club rule got broken, and that’s what got you all worked up.”
“I’m allowed to feel betrayed when neither you nor Hunter call and warn me you’re on your way to a criminal’s house. Jesus, Ruby, that guy could be the one that hurt your mom.”
“Beau’s been a friend of the family since I could remember. I was never in any danger.” On a frustrated growl, she spun away to pace in the small space between the counters of the kitchen. “You’re so sure that you know better than me. But I’ve been living this life longer than you’ve been in town. I know the players. I know when I am safe and when I’m not.”
Blood was roaring in my ears. This argument was getting off track, and I needed to calm things down. “I never said I knew better than you.”
“No, but you implied it every time you claimed I didn’t understand the danger,” Ruby said. She stopped her pacing to stand with her hands on her hips and gave me the hardest stare I’d ever seen from her. “Be warned, Grayson. I’ll do whatever I think is best for my girls, always. And I don’t give a flying fuck if you approve of my methods or not.”
I felt something like dread bubbling in my gut. I thought I could handle Ruby’s apparent need for space and time. But how long would it take? How much more space did she need? I knew we were reaching a point where there was no going back. If I put everything on the line, I’d have to live with the consequences.
“Let me make sure I understand here. Watching the kids is fine. Playing nanny is fine. A roll in the sack works for you. But being an actual partner? Being involved in decisions big and small. That’s not what you’re interested in.”
She seemed to deflate before my eyes, and her face became a mask of confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“What are we doing, Ruby?”
She tilted her head to the side like she didn’t quite understand my words. “We’re having a discussion.”
“No,” I said, then waved my hand between us. “What is this? What do you think is between us?”
“Are-Are you asking me to define the relationship?”
Despite my misgivings, I pushed on. “Yes.”
Ruby’s brow furrowed more, and she walked past me to collapse onto the couch. I didn’t dare to sit next to her yet. If she was going to kick me out, I’d rather be on my feet to make a quick exit. So I just stood in the archway between the living room and kitchen, a ball of nerves and anxiety swirling in my guts.
Fuck. I’d gone too far, hadn’t I?
The clock ticking was the only sound in the room for several long moments. I was usually immune to long silences. It was one of my most effective interrogation tactics. But now, it felt like ants were crawling along my skin. All I wanted was for Ruby to put me out of my misery.
“Rub—”
She put up a hand.
“I’m a horrible person,” Ruby whispered in a strange tone of voice. She looked up at me, her expression still confused. But now, there was also some sadness to it. “I’ve been stringing you along for weeks, haven’t I?”
I opened my mouth to defend her to herself, but she waved me off again.
“Don’t make excuses for me, Grayson.”
I couldn’t suppress a smile at that. “You’ve had a lot to deal with in a short amount of time.”
“That doesn’t excuse me from taking advantage of you.”
“You can’t take what’s freely given.”
Ruby snorted again and shook her head. “So what, you’re just gonna give and give and give like the tree in that kid’s book. Until what? There’s nothing but a stump left of you?”
I chuckled softly and sat next to her on the couch. “I told you weeks ago, it’s no hardship for me to care for you and the girls.”
“But what do you get?”
“Besides the amazing sex?” Ruby slapped my chest with the back of her hand, and I laughed. “Do you honestly believe that I get nothing out of this?”
“I mean—I know you like my cooking …“
I shifted so we were facing each other and cupped her face, thumbing away the tears that were gathering on her cheeks. “You woke me up,” I whispered slowly. Silently, I was willing Ruby to hear and absorb everything I was saying. “I’d resigned myself to a solitary retirement in Florida. It’s been years, but I couldn’t get over how I failed to stop the accident that killed Jonah. I was so ashamed for surviving. It felt like a betrayal. He was my responsibility, and I let him down.”
“You couldn’t have known that it would happen. It was a freak accident.”
“I understand that now—after years of therapy and some soul searching. I know there’s nothing any of us could have done. But that didn’t stop me from feeling like I had to atone for my mistake.”
I leaned my forehead against hers as I struggled for more words, but none seemed good enough. So, I just went with the truth. “You woke me up, Ruby.”
“You did the same for me,” she replied and kissed me softly. “I’d gotten so entrenched in this cycle with my mom and the girls that I was blind to any other solutions. I just kept doing the same things over and over again, hoping someday that a miracle would happen, and I’d be able to save those girls from the life I lead before Uncle Adam got full custody.”
Ruby kissed me again. And we both quieted for several moments.
“Sometimes I feel awful for feeling this way when we don’t know where Mom is. Sometimes I try to make up for it by doing more for her or the girls.”
“You shouldn’t feel bad for being happy,” I said. “But I understand how confusing it feels to be happy when everything feels like it’s going to shit.”
Ruby laughed. “You make it easier. Just the way you are. The things you do for me. It makes it all easier.”
I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her into my lap, and kissed her. I poured all of my feelings into the kiss, but I let her keep control over the pace and angle. Ruby lingered over my mouth for several long moments before pulling back to look down at me.
“I guarantee you I’m gonna continue to fuck up.” I couldn’t stop a chuckle from bursting from my chest. “No, seriously, Gray. I’m stubborn and set in my ways, and I haven’t had a serious boyfriend since I was eighteen. But if you’ve got the patience to deal with me, I’ll keep trying until I get it right.”
I smiled. “That sounds perfect.”
Chapter 25
Ruby
“Gray, we don’t have time for this.”
“For fuck’s sake, do you really want me to stop?”
I laughed and ran my hands up Gray’s sides. His mouth was doing amazing things to my neck and chest, and his hands burned a path along my body. He’d kissed me awake just before dawn and had me stripped bare before I was fully awake. With two young girls in the house, we had to be creative with when, where, and how we made love. Even though it was Thanksgiving, and I had a turkey to roast, I had no real intention to stop what Gray had started.
I loved these early morning interludes, and because Gray had abandoned any pretense of living in his rental with Hunter, we got to have them more often. I wouldn’t have kept him at arm’s length for so long if it hadn’t been for the girls. But when I realized they loved him as much as he loved them, I knew it was time to make a new arrangement.
I had unpacked the army-green duffel he kept in the corner of my room. It had worried me he’d take offense or that he’d think I moved too soon. But Gray surprised me when he walked up to me that night and gave me a thorough kiss before saying, “About time, babe.”
I was pretty sure that was the moment I fell all the way in love with Grayson Archer. Problem was, it was the first time I’d been all the way in love with someone. And even if he was of the same mind, I’d be damned if I’d be the first one to say it. I waited and bided my time. Hoping for some kind of divine intervention that would let me know that the time was right to give him all of my heart.
There were times like now, in bed together making love and being close, where it was nearly impossible to hold back my feelings. As Grayson licked a path from my naval down to my pussy, I had to remind myself that saying, “I love you” for the first time while your boyfriend was going down on you was not the best way to seem genuine. He’d probably think I was just overcome with lust.
Which, yeah, was probably the case. The man had a wicked tongue and found new and inventive ways to make me come with it. Like right now, he was doing something with his tongue along my clit that was making my toes curl and my vision blur.
“Gray,” I panted. “So good.”
I sounded like a mindless idiot. I knew this, but I couldn’t stop myself from blabbering and telling him how good he was at giving head. Then he added his hands to the process, and it did me in. I came with a scream I had to muffle behind my hand, lest I woke the girls.
Before I could come down off the orgasm, Gray wrapped me in his arms and flipped our positions, so I lay on top of him. The first time he’d done this, I had balked at being on top. I couldn’t overcome the visions I’d had of what my large breasts and tummy must look like all squished together as I crouched over Gray. He’d put an end to that line of thinking with a long passionate kiss and a demand to get my ass moving. He was always good at breaking me out of my own thoughts with a quick word or a gentle nudge.
Now, it was probably my favorite position.
It was a heady feeling to take control over a big masculine man like Gray. My favorite part was watching his face intently as I slowly lowered myself on his cock for the first stroke. He always closed his eyes and just held still; his expression was of intense satisfaction. It made me feel like a goddess.
After the first thrust, I set a pace that we both enjoyed. On each downward thrust, I ground down a bit to give my clit the friction I needed. When he needed it, Gray pulled me down for a long drugging kiss and held me close as he thrust up into my body in several sharp movements. The last hit me in just the right place to have every nerve ending light up in awareness.
Just as I was tipping over the edge, Gray rolled us, so he pinned me to the bed beneath him. Then he thrust into me with such force that I had to put my hands up against the headboard to make sure I didn’t knock myself silly.
“Fuck, Ruby ...” Gray groaned into my hair as he stilled with his orgasm.
We remained connected for several long moments as we both came down from our respective orgasms. The only sound in the room was our labored breathing. I knew we were way behind schedule by now, but I realized I didn’t care at all. It was my first time hosting Thanksgiving, everyone in our little group would descend on the house in a matter of hours, and I hadn’t put the turkey in the oven yet. But my man had just rocked my world so thoroughly that my body felt like it was lighter than air. And I couldn’t be bothered to care.
Gray propped himself on an elbow and smiled down at me. His salt and pepper hair had grown long over the last few weeks, so now it flopped over his forehead adorably. I fingered one of the silvery strands and smiled back, completely and utterly content.
“Are we going to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?” I smoothed my fingers over his face, luxuriating in the textures of his skin.
“What you’ve been holding back.”
I stilled and focused on Gray, the hazy after sex high popped like a bubble. He was smiling, but he also looked intent. That look was never a good sign when I wanted to keep something hidden. It was my only minor complaint about dating an ex-soldier and ex-private security contractor—he was too observant. He could detect the slightest shift in my mood, and nothing stayed secret for long.
It was damn annoying.
“I’m not ready to talk about it.”
“I am.”
I laughed. “You can’t bully me into talking about it, Gray. That’s not fair.”
He rolled his eyes and laid down on his side, pulling me close. I knew I should clean up and start the day, but I allowed myself a few more moments of quiet.
“It doesn’t have to be scary. You already know what I’m going to say.”
I thought I did. He showed me he loved me every day in a million different ways. I trusted him completely. We lived together. We’d had the difficult sex talk and abandoned the condoms. We were in a—capital “S”—seriously committed relationship. But the words still stuck in my throat.
Gray must have sensed my growing unease because he squeezed me softly and kissed the nape of my neck just belo
w my galaxy tattoo. “Okay, I’ll let up. But only because this is our first time hosting a major holiday, and I know you’re freaking out about the bird.”
“Thank you,” I said and squeezed his forearm that was slung around my belly.
“But fair warning, shortcake. This reprieve is only for the holidays.”
“Well, thanks for being so magnanimous, Grayson.”
U
Gray
“I cannot believe he brought a date.”
Ruby sighed as she scrubbed at the roasting pan. Lucy had been saying the same thing for most of the day, and I could see Ruby was at the end of her rope.
“Could you hand me that brush?” Ruby asked me.
I handed over the scrubber, then resumed drying the dish in my hand.
“I mean, it’s bad enough he ignores me, but he doesn’t need to flaunt some stripper in my face,” Lucy continued.
The beat of my heart kicked up, and my skin flushed at those words. Lucy knew that Ruby’s mother was also a dancer, yet she continued to say things like that. Her careless comments made me want to lash out. But a quick glance at my woman told me she was stressed enough without me making a big scene. So, I kept my mouth shut.
For now.
“And did you see those bars she brought?” Lucy said. “Store-bought, for sure. I know I’ve seen the same ones at the Walmart.”
“I thought they tasted pretty good,” Ruby muttered and held up the pan to inspect it before handing it off to me.
Not for the first time that day, I wished Ruby had taken me up on using the marina kitchen to prepare the meal. At least, then we’d have had an industrial washing machine to take care of most of the mess. Plus, the large open space would have discouraged Lucy’s gossip.
Ruby had been insistent, though. She’d told me it had always been her dream to host a big family holiday, and now that we’d amassed a motley crew of friends and family, she was determined to handle all the hosting at her trailer. I’d been too charmed by her desire for the perfect Rockwell Thanksgiving to remind her that most big holiday events were not as perfect as they seemed.
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