by JN Welsh
“We’re up. We’re coming,” Cole promised.
The kids jumped off the bed and gave Elle and Cole kisses before they ran out the room.
“Close the door please, Kayleah,” Elle called, and the little girl slammed the door.
Elle slid out of bed and Cole slapped her rump.
“It’s time to open presents. Put on your PJs,” he teased.
“Ow,” she cried and dressed. Cole did the same.
“I have a present for you. One now and one for later.” Elle clapped and ran in place. “I love presents.”
She gave Cole a gift box and he opened it to find printed business cards with the logo she created for him. “And,” she showed him his new website “here is your new website.”
Cole flipped the cards through his hand. Then, he scrolled and clicked through the website she created. “This is…wow, Elle. This is amazing. I can’t believe you did this.”
“I wanted to do it for you.” She squeezed his hand.
“Thank you.” He kissed her. “I also have two presents for you. One for now and one for later.”
“Yes.” She squealed, clapped her hands, and ran in place again.
“You can hardly contain yourself.”
He gave her a flat gift-wrapped box and she tore it open.
“No way!” She stared at a copy of The Big Blue. He remembered she lost her copy of the film the night they were at the inn. “How?”
“I have my ways.” He grew taller with pride and pretended to brush dust off one shoulder. “Open it.”
Elle noticed that the plastic wrapping that would normally encase the plastic DVD container was missing. She opened the container and on top of the disc laid a tennis bracelet with more sparkles on it than she’d ever seen.
“Holy shit. Is this real?” Elle gawked at the diamond bracelet. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Of course, it is, sweetness.” Cole chuckled as he pinched the bracelet out of the disc container and clasped it around her wrist. He evaluated it on her arm. “Perfect.”
“This is beautiful, Cole, but too much. I can’t.” Elle’s pulse quickened at the expensive gift.
“You can.” His hands rested on her hips. “You don’t want to hurt my feelings, do you?”
“Cole—”
He swiveled her close. “I want you to have this, Elle. You deserve to be spoiled. Please accept it.” His thumbs brushed her sides.
“I will.” She flung her arms around his neck, admiring the bracelet on her arm and then hugged him tighter. The gesture and effort he went through to make her Christmas merry meant the world to her. “Thank you so much, honey.”
“You’re welcome, sweetness.”
“Let’s head downstairs. There are more presents down there.” Then she remembered the stories he told her about growing up and not really getting presents. She stopped and grasped his hand. “Is this freaking you out? I know … you…you’re not used to this and—”
Cole captured her lips. “I’m okay, Elle. I’m enjoying this with you.”
The music of holiday carols swelled as they strolled down the stairs, their fingers entwined.
“Finally,” was one of the children’s exasperated remarks.
The kids tore open the Santa Clause delivered gifts, discarding the Christmas themed wrapping paper like afterthoughts. Their parents and other family members snapped pictures to capture the memories before tending to their own presents.
“These kids rack up gifts every year. I mean wow, you guys.” Elle awed at the piles of toys, electronics, and clothing alongside her cousins.
The twins asked their dad to play with them. Elle helped Holly crumple wrapping paper and garment boxes into recycle bags. Cole provided support, confirming to the whining children that clothes were great gifts over anything technological.
Cole barked with laughter when he saw an array of presents for him. Her family was also amazed to receive gifts with Cole’s name on the tags.
Elle swallowed the emotion in her throat. “When did you do all this,” she whispered.
“Help from Santa Claus. Who else?” He winked.
Elle kissed him. “Thank you for doing this. You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to, sweetness.”
Later they had Christmas dinner and it was a joyous occasion. Elle noticed Scarlett had been drinking quite a bit. They were celebrating the holidays, and everyone enjoyed a bit more libation than normal. However, Scarlett was going harder than Uncle Desi and even garnered Jasper’s suggestion to slow down.
“Let’s play Christmas games,” Scarlett proposed.
“Yes, let’s.” Jasper ushered his girlfriend over to a seat, and as if welcoming the distraction, gathered some people to play, including Holly and Spencer, her cousin Anil and his fiancée Harper, and she and Cole. The other family watched TV, played dominos, or chatted in areas of the family room.
“Let’s play Heads Up,” Spencer suggested. “I’ll be on your team, Elle.”
Elle did a double take. “Since when?” She eyed Holly who shrugged. Elle couldn't remember a time when Holly and her hubby weren’t on a team together.
Jasper side-eyed her. Something was up.
“Let’s change things up this year,” Spencer said and sat next to her.
“Okay, cool. Be here with me and we got this.” Elle pointed her fingers to her eyes and swiveled them back and forth between hers and Spencer’s.
Spencer chuckled. “Got it.
They played a few rounds, which had her doubled over in laughter when Cole got rapper Biggy Smalls and for some reason Holly, who was on his team, kept guessing rapper Fat Joe.
Jasper was appalled. “I don’t even understand how you confuse the two. One is black and the other is Puerto Rican. One is Bad Boy Entertainment and the other is Terror Squad. Come on.” Scarlett shook with giggles into Jasper’s shoulder.
“We’re so winning,” Elle high-fived Spencer during the final round. She and Spencer did win the game, to the chagrin of their loser opponents.
Their group started playing Crazy Eights when Scarlett interrupted.
“Can we play something more interesting?
“Uhh, sure,” Holly drawled, and her eyes widened. “What do you suggest?”
“Let’s play Two Truths and a Lie.”
Jasper groaned.
“Come on. It’ll be fun, and we can get to know each other better.” Scarlett’s eyes landed on Cole.
Elle’s hand crept around Cole’s arm and she pulled him closer. Cole kissed her forehead and then gathered her in his arms.
“I’ll go first,” Scarlett volunteered.
“Okay,” Holly sang under her breath and regarded Elle precariously.
“Holly and Spencer are getting a divorce, Jasper and I are engaged, and Cole was on popular web television series.”
“Scarlett?” Jasper attempted to silence her, but it was a little too late.
Everyone gave an awkward laugh, but Holly snapped up and out of her seat. “I…this…Excuse me.”
“What?” Elle glanced at Spencer and his face revealed the truth of Scarlett’s statement.
“I didn’t know.” Scarlett was about to take a drink and Jasper lowered the glass from her lips. “The truth was that Cole was on a show and the other lie is that Jasper and I are not engaged. We are.”
“You were on a show?” Elle queried.
“We should talk.” Cole’s fingers grazed her arm.
How did Scarlett know that, and Elle didn’t? The TV show didn’t seem like anything earth shattering. The bigger deal, however, was that her young brother was engaged to his even younger girlfriend and Holly and her husband might be divorcing.
“You’re engaged, Jasper?” Elle bellowed.
“Jasper is what?” Elle’s mother called from the kitchen area. She entered the living room brandishing a wooden spoon.
“Holly?” Aunt Joy called her daughter.
“Can we not do this right now?” Holly wiped the tea
rs off her face.
“Give us a second.” Elle pulled Holly away. “I’m serious. Don’t follow us.”
Cole approached her. “We need to talk, Elle.”
“Not now, I have to tend to Holly.”
“Well it’s important that we do, and soon. Do you hear me?”
Elle did a double take at his authoritative tone and the discomfort from scowling at him made her glower at him even more. She didn’t know what was up but she didn’t have time to address him. Not with Holly upset. “I got it, Cole.”
She dragged Holly to an unoccupied bedroom. “When did this all happen with you and Spence, Holly? Is he fucking around?”
“No.” Holly’s response was eager. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“Then what happened?”
“We just grew apart. After a while it was like we couldn’t find our way back to each other.” Holly fiddled with the thread on her sweater. “The family is going to rip me to shreds. You know they will. I’ll never hear the end of this. It’s why Spencer and I tried not to say anything this holiday season and pretend we were okay.”
Elle knew all too well the pressure from their family.
“I know.” Elle patted her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Holly. I should have noticed. I think I only saw what you wanted us to see and not how separated you two have been.”
“We’ve tried having more sex, getting extra sitters for the kids. I even give him all the time he wants in the man cave.” Holly sniffled and wiped her face. “When he suggested divorce, I knew it was serious. We’re going to counseling, but it’s our last resort and…”
Elle had never seen Holly so distraught.
“It’s not working,” Holly cried. “I want to be with Spencer, but things have changed between us. The fact he’d rather run than try to work for the love we once had, or work for the kids? Makes me want to let him leave. That scares me to death.”
Elle didn’t know what to say so she let Holly have her cry.
“Fucking Scarlett.” Holly banged a nearby table.
“Can you believe Jasper proposed to her? I mean…he’s allowed to make his choice but…” Elle was furious with her brother. “They haven’t even dated long. He’s too young. She’s too young.”
“What a night. What else is going to go wrong?” Holly speculated.
“Listen, I don't care where we live, if you need me you call me. Speed dial my ass when you’re feeling sad, or if you need anything at all. This is going to be tough until you guys make a decision to stay together or dissolve the marriage. I love you both and hope for whatever outcome will be the best.”
“Thanks Elle.”
“We do have to go back in there.”
Holly slumped her shoulders. “I know.”
“You ready?”
Holly nodded, and they headed back to the family room.
Elle and Holly returned to the living room and Aunt Joy scooped Holly up for a private chat. Elle searched for Cole, but she didn’t see him.
Scarlett materialized next to her, the booze seeping from her pores. Elle wasn’t pleased with Scarlett, but she kept telling herself that the booze made her do it.
“You need some water, Scarlett.” Elle hurried to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water, her eyes searching for Cole the entire time.
“I didn't mean for this to happen, Elle,” Scarlett slurred. “When Cole first arrived, he looked familiar and then I remembered. He was on a web series about escorts on a streaming media website and he was playing out his client’s fantasy and…”
“And what?” Elle asked when Scarlett suddenly decided to have a filter.
“I shouldn’t say—”
“What?” Elle insisted more than asked.
“H-he had sex with his client on the show.
“What?” Elle tried figuring out what the hell was going on. “Cole was having sex on TV?” she whispered.
I thought you should know.” Scarlett’s droopy eyes showed just how drunk she was. Elle didn't know how much of what Scarlett said was true, but the nauseous feeling in her stomach grew and her eyes sought Cole.
“Yup.” Scarlett swayed and burped.
Elle stepped back out of the potential projectile vomiting path. This was a mess. “Where’s Jasper? Where’s Cole? What the fuck is happening, here?” Elle muttered.
A hand gripped Elle’s upper arm from behind. She spun around to see Cole and when his blue eyes found hers, they were steely and cold. She was only gone for a few minutes, utterly confused by the accusation sprinkled all over his gorgeous face.
“Come with me.” He pulled her to a room off one of the corridors. “Do you want to tell me why your brother’s girlfriend is offering me money to sleep with her?”
Elle’s feet were glued in place and she was as stiff as a board. “She did what?”
“You heard me. I’m not a fucking prostitute, Elle. Is that what you’ve been saying? And to Scarlett of all people?”
“I didn’t tell her that. Scarlett watches too much TV and is going by what she saw on a web series. She’s also drunk.” Elle was so pissed at herself for divulging the secret to Holly. She wondered if her cousin had mentioned something to Scarlett, which might have prompted Scarlett’s delusion about Cole and this TV show. Another issue was if Scarlett was offering Cole money to sleep with him, what feelings did the woman truly have for Jasper?
“Tell me something, Elle—” Cole’s voice broke through to her “—Why ask me to play this role if you’re going to tell the family members—family you’re trying to fool—about what I do for a living? Do you want to sabotage the whole thing?”
“I only told, Holly. I trust her, Cole. I didn’t tell Scarlett anything. But just a minute ago she swore up and down to me that you were on this web series where gigolos live out their clients’ sexual fantasies on screen.”
“I was.” Clarity softened the anger on his features. He muttered, “Damnit. That’s why she propositioned me. Because I was on the show.”
His epiphany may have made him feel better, but his words stung like he’d just ripped a Band-Aid off a wound.
“I’m sorry, Elle. It was wrong of me to assume you told her who I was and—”
“Wait. You were on that show?” Elle didn't want to believe it.
“Yes. Once, as a special guest.” He delivered the news like he was delivering the weather.
“And you were having sex on screen?”
His ribcage inflated with air. “Yes.”
Her stomach flipped. “I want to see it,” she whispered.
Cole shifted from one foot to the other. “No.”
“I’m not asking, Cole.”
“Elle?” He tried to touch her, and she backed away from him.
Her heart was pinched from all sides. “Are you embarrassed by it?”
“No.” His voice was low and deliberate. “But you will be. I can already see the way you’re sentencing me, and you haven’t even seen it yet. It will only serve to upset you further.”
Elle didn’t wait and whipped out her phone. Cole leaned against the wall and folded his arms over his chest and waited.
She hated this. It was like her worse nightmare coming true. To see the man she loved having sex with another woman. She had imagined it countless times since they met, but the thoughts were debilitating her emotionally and making her crazy. Now she was going to see it.
She found the episode and had to enter in her age to access it, which she entered with trembling fingers. With eyes glued to the screen, she watched as Cole performed positions with this woman that he had done with her. She had come to terms with him being an escort, even the casual sex he admitted to sometimes having with clients. But seeing him on screen was like watching him cheat on her right in front of her eyes. Seeing the man she had grown to love, in such a short time, love on someone else? It was too much for her to rationalize. She couldn’t watch anymore. She pocketed the phone, unsuccessful at tamping down the sour taste of bile
.
“Elle.” Cole’s voice boomed behind her.
She ran to the nearest bathroom, barely making it to the toilet. She purged her sadness, fear, and betrayal into the bowl.
“Elle,” Cole called, and she felt his hand rub her back.
She swatted his hand away so hard that he massaged his wrist and forearm. “Just…don’t, okay?”
She rinsed her hands and mouth. She didn’t have the guts to look at him.
“The show aired years ago.” When she didn’t respond he prodded. “I need you to talk to me, sweetness.”
“I can’t do this. Those things you were doing.”
“Can’t do what? Love me, the way I love you?” He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “I love you, Elle.”
She had wanted to hear those words since she met him, but the circumstances had not changed. Cole had a gigolo past and even worse had been filmed having sex on screen.
Elle pulled away from him. “I love you and I thought it was enough, but this? This is too much, Cole.”
“So that’s it? You’re going to give up on this and what we can have?”
“Cole. You’ve probably slept with hundreds maybe even thousands of women.”
“Stop it, Elle.”
“Stop what? Telling the truth?” Elle squeezed her eyes shut in the hopes this was all a bad dream. All her conflicting feelings broke through the internal dam she’d been using to contain them. “The truth is you have so much experience. You’ve had a different flavor of the month—of the week—for years, and I can’t compete with that. How many other surprises like this are going to pop up? How would a relationship with me ever compare?”
“There is no comparison.” Cole inched toward her, but she leveled the space by inching backward. “I love you because you make my heart feel things it never has before. What I feel with you is so different and scary and addictive as it’s thrilling and exhilarating. I want you, Elle. I need you and no one else. Ever since I met you there has only been you.”
Elle narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re going to pick this moment to lie to me?”
“I’m not lying to you,” he growled.
“No? How about the night you met me? That woman kissed you. You can’t tell me that you didn’t fuck her.”
