by Walker Rose
Change of Heart
Walker Rose
Copyright © 2019 by Walker Rose. All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Prologue
On snowy days on campus, when Kellan lost himself to his daydreams, their lips brushed. Lost in his fantasy, his teeth would rake across Blake’s bottom lip and tug with gentle insistence.
How was it that a reverie could taste this good?
Blake, as far as Kellan’s imagination was concerned, was like fine wine—striking and bold—and now that Kellan had had a taste of him, he always longed for more.
In those quiet moments lost in his mind, Blake’s sturdy hands ran down his sides, settling at his hips as Kellan straddled him. The delicate way Blake touched him betrayed his experience with women, but Kellan didn’t mind. With time, Blake would learn. With time, he’d be perfect. That same thought always hit Kellan mid-fantasy, but it never lost its appeal. Blake, who’d never so much as looked Kellan’s way in class, always started out hesitant in Kellan’s dreams, but the sensation of his bulge against Kellan’s ass and the sultry way his eyelids drooped down from arousal superseded taboo.
Blake was straight, but in Kellan’s imagination, his cock was far from it.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed about,” Kellan would whispered, letting his lips brush Blake’s earlobe. To tempt him further, Kellan would trail a hand down his sculpted chest, enjoying its firmness, or run his fingers through Blake’s thick hair, or plant a series of kisses from his jaw down his neck. No matter what he did, the result was the same—Blake’s cock would throb, and Kellan would grind down on it, wanting more. “A hole is just a hole, and I promise I’ll be tighter than any you’ve ever had. There’s no shame in wanting the best. You deserve this.”
The heat rising from Blake’s body was always stifling, but it ignited something in Kellan he could never shake. By this point of the fantasy, the end was always near. There was fire rising inside Kellan, too—need that ripped his world asunder and left his cock aching for the touch of another.
No. Not another.
For Blake, and Blake alone.
“Take what you need, Blake,” Kellan would whispered into his ear while he worked his hips, driving Blake to delirium.
And then, the finale.
Blake, overcome by ecstasy, would push him from his lap, tear off their clothes, and take him hard on Kellan’s own bed. Wild, animalistic thrusts. Low, possesses moans. Pleasure unlike anything Kellan had ever felt before.
When it was done, the fantasy faded, and Kellan was left alone and breathless, wishing for something more. But a wolf like him and a man like Blake weren’t meant to be, and no matter how he flipped the narrative, Kellan knew that a fantasy was likely all he’d ever get.
Chapter One
The MacRae University campus was gorgeous. Its sprawling green lawns were always uniformly cut, and the white walkways that stretched between buildings were always swept and litter-free. The red-brick buildings lent the area old world charm and romance—the feel of a big name university in a comparatively small town. Even the streetlights and wooden benches along the way were picturesque, like they’d been plucked from a fairytale to spend the rest of time suffering the abuse of immature freshmen high off their first taste of freedom. But to Kellan, of all the charming things at the university, Blake Mathys was the most stunning.
Broad shoulders, a squared jaw, black hair, and blue eyes to die for, Kellan hadn’t been able to get enough when their paths had crossed on the first day of class—but neither had any of the young women with eyes in that morning’s English Literature lecture.
What made things worse? Blake enjoyed the attention. Week to week, while waiting for class to start, Kellan overheard stories of his conquests—whispered rumors circulated by the women who inflated Blake’s ego. Voracious sexual appetite. Huge cock. Without a condom. A tongue so good, it couldn’t be real. By the time the last two weeks of the semester arrived, Kellan felt as though he knew Blake on an intimate level, even though they’d never spoken. Between classroom gossip and the time Kellan spent with Blake in his daydreams, it felt like there was very little he didn’t know.
There was a lot to learn by keeping quiet and listening, and Kellan valued silence. So far, it had served him well.
Blake attended on a scholarship, the rumors said. The staggering tuition fees had been waived for his athletic prowess. English literature was just a stand-in so he could keep playing sports. He’d been injured badly last year on the field, but through some miracle of modern medicine, had made a full recovery and been able to play come next game.
The football team was unstoppable. No one could keep Blake down.
Agents. Contracts. Fame. Kellan wasn’t sure how much of it was true, but Blake was built solidly enough that he believed most of it. Everything about him screamed wolf, but never once had Kellan detected a hint of it on him. It was a pity—every inch of Blake was perfect mate material, but without the wolf, the deal was done. How would he face his parents if he brought home a man? It was bad enough that he was drawn towards the freshly cursed instead of those born into the pack. The thought that he might choose a mate from a lower tier—from that uncivilized world of unpredictable, wild men—already had his mother on the warpath. She was determined to find him a thoroughbred mate—someone of ranking and status.
Someone Kellan had zero interest in.
What fun was there in someone refined? Someone so afraid of their inner nature that they repressed their instincts in a bid to look civilized? Not much, as far as Kellan was concerned. What he wanted was a savage beast he could shape—a feral creature who’d pin him to the wall and fuck him senseless the second he walked in the door at the end of his day… and who’d take Kellan to bed later that night every bit as ravenous for his body as he’d been the second Kellan walked through the door.
Until Kellan found that individual, fantasies of Blake would have to do.
Kellan had just retired to his room when his phone rang. Mother. He debated ignoring the call in favor of crawling into bed and imagining Blake was there with him, but in the end, his thumb swiped across the answer bar and he lifted the phone to his ear.
“Hello, mother.” Kellan stepped out of his shoes and headed across the room to sit on the bed. The room was cramped, with a small, private bathroom—he’d yet to forgive his parents for not investing in something more luxurious. They weren’t hurting for money, and the university had more to offer than this hovel.
“Kellan, darling, you were supposed to call. When are you going to book your flight home? I imagine we can expect you for January’s full moon?”
December’s full moon started today. The semester ended in a week, and then the exam period lasted for another two weeks after that. Although his exams were already scheduled—all of them crammed around the first few days after the semester ended—Kellan was hesitant to make a commitment. As much as he hated his room, returning home to spend time with the family was draining.
Before he had time to reply, his mother continued.
“I want to know what date you plan on returning so I can organize a dinner party. Do you remembe
r Catherine Seltz? We recently reconnected, and it turns out she had a son your age. I’m not sure if he’s that way, you know, but Catherine’s heritage is impressive and her husband’s is nothing to scoff at. I’m sure you’d hit it off.”
And there it was, the number one reason he dreaded the thought of going home. There was always a motive behind the questions his mother asked—although, in her defense, she was usually much better about hiding what they were. It was the first time Kellan could recall her being so straightforward with him, and it unsettled him. The only reason she was being transparent with him now was because he was trapped. Even if he chose to remain on campus for the holidays, summer would eventually arrive. The dinner party would be had, and if he waited, there would be a backlog of them to slog through.
She knew it, and so she didn’t bother with pretense. She had him right where she wanted him. There was no escape.
Kellan pinched the bridge of his nose and resisted a sigh.
“I’m not sure yet.” He moved across the bed on his knees to rest his elbows on the windowsill, sweeping his gaze over the campus grounds. Snow had fallen recently, and the paths had yet to be shoveled. Footprints marked the way, sometimes compacting the snow so much that it tore up in chunks, revealing patches of green grass beneath the crisp white.
For much of his life, Kellan had lived in the south, and snow was still a novelty to him. It was a blessing that this university was free from the drama the lower echelon wolves created. Pack drama. Ridiculous. Uncivilized.
“Professor O’Lare has yet to assign a date. It’s outrageous. I have never met a man less professional. How are we expected to spend study time responsibly when he cannot commit to a date? As soon as I find out, I will make plans.”
Of course, those plans could be not to return home at all. She didn’t need to know.
“Dealing with the unexpected is a valuable skill to learn in life,” she replied. The tone she used told Kellan he was going to be in for a lecture. He would let her speak. While she did so, he would occupy himself with the view. Students were forging paths through the modest layer of snow on their way between buildings. Soon the last few stragglers arrived at their destination, and the grounds were still again. No one wanted to be out in the bitter cold.
No one but Blake.
Kellan watched as the young man appeared just below him, exiting the same building Kellan called home. He tore a straight line through the snow, across the grounds, as though he’d been lit on fire.
Shirtless.
Kellan’s lips pressed together, and he narrowed his eyes as he watched. Blake hadn’t been in class today, nor had he been last week. The absences, once brushed off as the result of end of semester stress, were now suspect.
What was Blake running from that he had to burst across the campus grounds partially undressed in the cold?
“… times when you’re left juggling with no end in sight, but you can always count on yo—”
“Mother, something has come up. I’ll call you back soon.”
Without saying goodbye, Kellan ended the call and hopped off the bed. He slipped into his shoes and coat, abandoned his room, and took the stairs two at a time to trail after Blake. On the second floor landing, his nose picked up a scent it had never detected before, and Kellan stopped dead.
Blake.
There was no denying it. Kellan had shamelessly scented at the back of Blake’s chair in the lecture hall while passing by on his way out the door, and he’d passed by him in the halls more than enough to recognize each note of cedar and spice in Blake’s bodywash. What he didn’t recognize was the scent beneath it. It was still masculine, but there was something else that strengthened the scent Kellan was used to and flipped it on its head.
Blake’s scent had changed.
Kellan glanced down the hallway to make sure he was alone, then took to scenting at the air. Still, he struggled to figure out what he was smelling. It was Blake, yes, but picking apart what was different about it was a laborious process, compounded by strong emotion.
Terror.
Whatever it was that had affected what Kellan smelled, it had terrified Blake so much that his fear had leeched into his scent. Kellan pulled apart that thread, stripping it away to better get an understanding of what he was dealing with. Now that he’d identified half the scent, the rest came easily.
Wolf.
Kellan stopped scenting. His shoulders pinched, and he glanced down the hall again. He’d yet to detect another wolf on campus, but not for lack of trying. Hell, he’d been in the same class as Blake all semester, and had actively been trying to poke his nose close to get an accurate reading. Nothing. Yet this smell was clearly lupine.
Fire stirred in his loins. The thrill of the chase was more tantalizing knowing that his prey—the man he’d been eying all semester—might be more than he appeared on the surface. The wolf pushed at the limits of his conscious mind, awoken by thoughts of the hunt. Kellan’s gums ached as his fangs threatened to push through and replace his teeth.
This hunt was different, and the wolf knew it, too. If he was reading the scent signature correctly—and god, did he hope he was—it was possible that these moments would be his last as a lone wolf.
Kellan burst forward, taking the stairs in leaps as he made for the door. By the time he broke into the winter air, Blake was nowhere in sight. His footprints revealed him to be bare foot. They led across the campus grounds until they faded from view.
With a nose like his own, Kellan had no need for footprint. He followed Blake’s scent across the grounds and into the woods that separated the campus from the nearest residential buildings. Without leaves to provide shade, the forest was illuminated and easy to navigate—much more accessible than when he’d investigated it back in September—but he closed his eyes to reply on his nose. The scent of tree bark steered him away from direct impact, but Blake’s scent was his main guiding force. The fresh blanket of snow masked other scents, allowing Blake’s to rise crisp on the air.
As the scent grew stronger, Kellan slowed his pace to follow it more closely. Each footstep was dampened by the snow, a tiny crunch in an otherwise silent clearing. If he managed to approach quietly enough, he might be able to scope out the situation before Blake realized he was there.
Before he could take another step, a voice broke the silence.
“I know you’re there.” It was Blake, and he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “I can smell you. You don’t smell like everyone else.”
Kellan stopped, head turned in the direction of the noise. Blake must have circled around a little further ahead to settle amongst a copse of trees to the right.
“You’re right, and that’s because I’m not like anyone else here.” A pause. “Anyone except for you.”
“What’s happening to me?” There was no sign that Blake was going to stand up and join him, so Kellan wandered in the direction of the sound. It wasn’t long before he found the man he was looking for. Blake was seated in the snow, his back to a tree. All he wore were sweatpants. Shamelessly, Kellan devoured his musculature with his eyes, tracing the solid mountains of his pecs and the definition of his abs. In the biting cold, Blake’s nipples were hard peaks begging to be teased. “It all came on at once, and I’ve tried googling the symptoms, but I can’t figure it out. The things I smell… and what I hear… and what I want to eat…” Blake looked up at Kellan, a lost sheep begging for direction. “And just a little while ago, a sound came out of my mouth that I can’t explain, and it... What is it? Please, tell me.”
Blake had brought his knees to his chest, elbows resting on each thigh. Everything about him was tense. The terror he’d smelled earlier made sense—Blake was awakening, and he had no idea what was going on. It was sad. It was perfect. Kellan’s heart skipped a beat.
“First of all, it’s natural.” Kellan approached slowly until he stood by the tree, looking down at Blake. Now that the terror was beginning to subside, Kellan could pick up a new und
ertone—arousal. Had he to guess, Blake had been at home getting into something raunchy when his wolf had decided to join in on the fun. “But I don’t want to stand around outside while we talk about it. We’re hot-blooded creatures, but the cold is still biting at my cheeks. I can’t imagine what it must feel like against your chest.” Soon, hopefully, he would find out exactly what it would feel like. “Come back to my place and we’ll talk. Come.”
He extended a hand toward Blake to help him stand. Their palms met. Something primal and powerful shot through Kellan’s arm and settled in his chest before snaking downward—a shifting of the soul. As light as the sensation made him feel, Kellan did his best to ignore it. It wasn’t anything abnormal to want to be affectionate towards the wolf of his dreams, was it? Right now he couldn’t afford to be soft. He couldn’t afford to let Blake slip through his fingers because of feelings.
Their eyes met. Blake’s blue eyes, so forlorn and panicked, trusted him, and Kellan couldn’t help the sympathy he felt toward him.
Blake would be his, but maybe, just maybe, the type of man Kellan thought he wanted wasn’t the one he was going to get.
There was no conversation as they headed back. Kellan led the way, pulling the newly awakened wolf after him. The silence was welcome—he needed every second to collect himself and suppress the startling feelings that had begun to blossom within him. Bonding with a potential mate had never been part of the plan, and no matter how good it felt, he had to remind himself that this stunning specimen was property, not person. It was just a minor setback. By the time they arrived at their accommodation Kellan had himself back in check.
With any luck, nothing like that would ever happen again.
Chapter Two
"You're not dying. In fact, you don't have to worry about dying for a very long time."
