Leah’s eyes laughed when she saw me waving my arm like a fourth-grader, but she looked past me and picked a kid from Jay’s class. The sixth-grader ran up to the stage at full speed, his friends cheering him on.
“I’m going to show you a demonstration using my friend here,” she said. “What’s your name?”
“Quentin.”
“Quentin’s going to pretend to be a lost victim, and SpotBot’s going to find him. So first, Quentin, you just need to stand anywhere on the stage.”
The boy dashed to the other end of the stage and stood still. “He can’t find me if I don’t move, can he?”
“Stay still and find out.” Leah grinned. “Okay, SpotBot, it’s time. Find Quentin now!”
The robot began sniffing around the stage, methodically working its way from one end to the other. I gaped, wondering how the thing worked. Was SpotBot voice-activated, or was Leah controlling it in some other way? Surely he wouldn’t be able to associate the kid with the name Quentin, so how did he know to look for him and not Leah?
SpotBot’s metal ears perked up, and he took a step in Quentin’s direction. The room fell completely silent as he walked right up to the boy. His eyes flashed red and a siren sound emitted from him.
I could totally picture how he’d work in a real-life rescue scenario. That robot was going to save lives, and Leah had built him.
“Good job, boy!” Leah said. “Let’s give SpotBot a hand.”
The kids exploded in applause while Quentin looked up at Leah apprehensively. “Is that all?” he asked.
“Sure, unless you want to walk around a bit. You’ll see how SpotBot knows where you are and follows you.”
Quentin took a few steps to the left, and SpotBot followed. A few steps to the right, and SpotBot was right behind. The kids hushed again, entranced by what they were seeing.
Leah sent Quentin back to his seat and picked SpotBot up, cuddling with him. “Does anyone have any questions?”
Hands flew up around the room. “How did you make SpotBot?”
“How does he know where to go?”
“What else can he do?”
“One at a time,” Leah said with a laugh. “I’ll get to everyone eventually.”
*
“I think Career Day was a success,” she said over dinner. We’d gone out to a restaurant with Mary and Lloyd, and it felt oddly like a double date.
“Are you kidding? It was a resounding success,” Mary said. “We couldn’t even fit some of the presenters into the timeframe after your presentation went on for so long.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” Leah said.
“Don’t be sorry,” I told her.
“The only thing to be sorry about is not getting it on video,” Lloyd said. “I wish I could’ve been there.”
The waiter arrived to take our orders, which was good timing because Leah’s cheeks were turning pink. Once we’d told him what we wanted, we returned to our conversation.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to be the lady who had to present after you,” Mary said. “Did you see the look on her face when she ‘joked’ about that being a tough act to follow?”
“SpotBot was the big hit, not me,” Leah said.
“Stop being modest,” I told her. “You created SpotBot!”
“Me and my team.”
I rolled my eyes, exchanging a glance with Mary and Lloyd. Clearly Leah was going to keep denying how amazing she was, but at least the rest of us knew what was what.
Dinner was delicious – I’d chosen the best Italian place in town because of Leah’s visit – and the conversation was even better. After the four of us discussed SpotBot for a while, the conversation turned to what made robot dogs different from real dogs, whether dogs had souls, and whether humans had souls.
I wasn’t used to such deep, philosophical discussions, and I found myself regarding Leah with respect as she deftly argued positions on questions I’d never asked before. I couldn’t help but agree with everything she said.
When dinner was over, Leah went to the bathroom and Mary and Lloyd leaned in closer to me. “She’s really great,” Mary said. “I’m so glad you could entice her to come out here.”
“Oh, there was no enticing involved. She was more than willing when I suggested it.”
“More than willing to jump on a four-hour flight?” Lloyd asked. “I’m sure there are plenty of schools with Career Days locally. She didn’t come just for the kids’ sake.”
“Well, no. We’re making a visit out of it. She’s staying over with me, and she’ll get to catch up with my parents, too. She used to be like a second daughter to them.”
“Does she make a habit of flying all over the country to visit her friends?” Mary asked dryly.
“She’s been traveling all over for media engagements recently. It’s not a big deal to her.”
Mary and Lloyd exchanged a glance – the same kind the three of us had exchanged earlier, but this time it was just between them.
What did they know that I didn’t?
Ten – Leah
“Leah, honey!” Theresa wrapped her arms around me, hugging me for about a minute straight. “It’s been far too long!”
I laughed, feeling my face flush. “It’s so good to see you, too.”
Poppy’s dad, Gary, stood just behind his wife. As soon as she let me go, he enfolded me in a quicker but just-as-tight hug. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“I won’t. I’m sorry I lost touch.”
Looking around their house was like stepping back into the past. I’d spent so much time here as a kid, and hardly anything had changed. Their wallpaper was still the same shade of off-white, and while they’d upgraded their furniture, the art prints that hung here and there were the same.
It was the second night of my visit, and I’d been working from Poppy’s apartment for most of the day. Finally it was time to relax and spend some time with people who, apparently, still cared about me after all these years.
“Come have a seat in the kitchen, and I’ll make us all some tea,” Theresa said. “I want to hear all about what you’ve been up to.”
“Get her to show you SpotBot,” Poppy said. “You really have to see it to believe it.”
My cheeks got hotter. Poppy seemed truly amazed by SpotBot, and while he was exciting, I’d worked on him every day since his conception. In a way, the novelty had worn off. He was a project as well as a passion.
And Poppy’s parents – even when she’d talked about how much they wanted to see me, I’d doubted whether it was true. How much could two adults really miss a kid they’d once known? I’d always been kind and polite to them, but I’d been friends with Poppy, not them. And now they were treating me like the prodigal daughter.
We sat down in the kitchen, and Theresa poured each of us some tea. I could smell the food she’d already started cooking – it definitely involved garlic, onion, and tomatoes – and my mouth watered. I could get used to coming over here.
“I’ve been doing well,” I told them. “I guess last time I saw you, I was deciding which scholarship to take for college.”
“I believe you’d already chosen to go to NYU for computer engineering,” Theresa said.
“Right! You have a good memory.” That was the initial program I’d chosen, and I spent a year in it before transferring out. “I ended up switching to mechanical engineering at Brown. New York was too big and crazy for me, and I thought I’d like Rhode Island better. I’d also realized I wanted to work with robots rather than just computers.”
“She always was obsessed with robots,” Poppy said affectionately, stirring sugar into her tea. “I can’t count how many times I caught her making weird little diagrams in class when she should’ve been studying.”
“And my weird little diagrams turned into SpotBot,” I huffed.
“Did you really come up for the idea for him back in high school?” Gary asked.
We talked about me and SpotBot for a while longer, an
d at Poppy’s insistence, I unpacked him from the car and showed him to her parents. They were just as awe-struck as the kids at her school, and a thrill of pride went through me.
Most of the time, I only saw my coworkers’ reaction to my pet project. Even when I showed him on the news, I didn’t trust the reporters’ over-the-top admiration – and the kids at Career Day were just kids, they would’ve been awed by any robot. Gary and Theresa were real, normal adults, and they were still amazed.
“Your mom must be so proud,” Theresa said. “How’s she doing now, anyway?”
“She’s all right. We don’t talk too often.” I only saw her once or twice a year for uncomfortable holiday dinners. I would’ve been okay without those, but she liked to keep up the appearance of having a good relationship.
“Why is that?” Poppy asked, looking concerned.
“Poppy, don’t pry,” Theresa said.
“No, it’s okay. She still works a lot. She got married, too.”
Poppy stirred her tea, even though all the sugar must’ve dissolved long ago. “What’s her husband like?”
I hesitated, phrasing my answer carefully. “He’s not my favorite person.” The man had seemed nice enough at first, but… “He doesn’t exactly approve of my ‘lifestyle.’ And despite his homophobia, Mom had essentially chosen him over me.
The mood in the room had changed – I’d made everyone sad without meaning to. “You know you always have a family here,” Theresa said, patting my back. “You’re still a second daughter to us.”
I held my mug tightly, letting it warm my fingers. If I didn’t push back the emotions rising in me, I might just start to cry.
“Let’s talk about what’s in the oven,” I said, forcing a smile. “It wouldn’t be your famous macaroni casserole, by any chance?”
“It sure is!”
While we ate, I managed to turn the conversation to them and what they’d been up to. Gary was still at the same company, and after twelve years, he had a lot of new stories to tell. The one about a new coworker’s first day on the job had me in stitches.
Theresa had been a teacher. Back in the day, it’d been Poppy’s greatest fear that her mom would transfer to her school. She’d officially retired a few years ago, but she still did some substitute teaching almost every week.
“Wait, so do you ever substitute teach at Poppy’s school now?” I asked.
“It’s happened a few times,” Theresa said.
“Luckily,” Poppy interjected, “no one’s figured out that we’re related.”
“Hmm… maybe I should mention that to Mary next time I see her,” I said.
“Maybe I won’t let you see her again.” Poppy shot me a glare.
“I didn’t know I needed your permission to talk to someone,” I teased. “Maybe I’ll shoot her a message on Facebook and let her know.”
The back-and-forth banter felt just as comfortable as it always had. Theresa was right – they were a second family to me, and now that I’d been reunited with them, I didn’t want to lose them again.
*
“I just love your parents so much,” I told Poppy as we took the elevator up to her apartment. “It really blows my mind how nice they are.”
She stared at the floor indicator. “I love them, too. I feel so bad about your mom and stepdad, though. I never would’ve thought something like that would ruin your relationship.”
“He’s my mom’s husband,” I said flatly. “Not my stepdad.” The elevator doors opened, and we stepped out. “It’s okay, though. I was never as close with her as you are with your parents. Did you ever think about moving back, now that it’s just you here?”
She let me into her apartment, a regretful expression on her face. “Not really. It’d be great, since the rent’s a bit much to handle on my own, but I’m thirty now. I wouldn’t feel right living at home. I can still afford it, and it’s closer to work. Plus, what if I ever did start dating again?”
I laughed uncomfortably. “Right.”
The apartment was a nice one-bedroom with a view of the city. Nothing extravagant, but it was homey and comfortable. Poppy had decorative throw pillows on the couch and a paper towel roll holder – adult things that made it clear it was definitely an adult’s residence. My place back in San Fran could’ve passed for a student’s.
I wondered how many of the personal touches were Poppy’s, and how many were her ex’s. What had Kerry taken with her when she left – other than the shards of Poppy’s broken heart? I shook my head at my own cheesiness. I needed to get over my useless jealousy and stop obsessing over the fact that Poppy had a love life that didn’t include me.
“How’d your parents take it when you came out, anyway?” I asked, sitting down on the couch.
Although Poppy had tried to give me her bed, I’d insisted on bunking down here during my stay. A pillow and folded blanket waited by my feet. I was already a little tired, so I expected I’d need them soon.
“They were fine with it,” she said, taking a seat on the floor beside me. “Confused, if anything. They thought maybe I’d want to marry a man and cheat on him, and I had to explain I still only wanted to be with one person.”
“That’s not too bad.” A little ignorance was better than flat-out hatefulness. “They didn’t have any issues when you were in a serious relationship with a woman?”
“Only to the extent that they weren’t sure how they’d ever get grandchildren.” She hugged her knees to her chest. “Once I said we’d talked about finding a sperm donor or adopting, they were fine.”
Pain shot through my heart. “You two were that serious?”
“We lived together.” Poppy’s face showed she was hurting, too. “I thought we were going to get married, Leah.” She paused. “But now that she’s gone, I sometimes wonder…”
She trailed off, staying silent long enough that I had to prompt her for more. “You wonder if you’re better off alone?”
“I guess so.” She toyed with a strand of hair. “It’s not that I don’t miss her, because I do, but… it’s like missing a friend, you know? I miss our conversations and having her here when I get home. I miss cuddling and sex and all that – even though we weren’t having much of that anyway – but I don’t feel the way you’re supposed to after a break-up.”
“What way is that?”
“What I mean is, I’m confused about what love is. I’m not heartbroken.”
She looked at her knees, her expression so sad and pathetic that I wanted nothing more than to get down on the floor and wrap my arms around her. I wanted to show her what love was – real love, the kind that came from both affection and passion. I wanted to light the kind of flame that would burn for a thousand years without ever going out.
With my heart in my throat, I couldn’t find words to say.
She glanced at me, and to my horror, her eyes were full of tears. “I’m being stupid, aren’t I? It’s been months since that break-up, and I’m still all emo about it. I should just dye my hair black and start dressing in all black while I’m at it.”
I ignored how she’d insulted the way I’d presented myself in high school. “You’re not being emo, Poppy. You’re asking one of life’s greatest questions. It’s no wonder there are no easy answers.”
“What is love?” she said quietly to herself. “I might as well ask the meaning of life while I’m at it.”
“Don’t strain your mind too much,” I said.
She jumped onto the couch to poke me in the ribs, and after I pushed her hand away, I threw my arm around her. Now I was holding her tight the way I’d wanted to, but it was platonic, only platonic.
“I know I love you because of how you make me feel,” I said. “I always want to be around you. I love talking to you, even when you’re in a different state. When you’re gone, I miss you. I can’t get enough of you.”
She gave me a soft smile. “I feel that way about you, too. Always did, except now I also have so much respect and admiration for you, to
o. I love how amazing you’ve turned out to be.”
I squeezed her closer, my heart beating faster. She loved me as a friend – nothing more than that.
“Too bad we don’t want to rip each other’s clothes off, huh?” she asked.
Now my heart pounded. I’d lied to her indirectly so many times, but not when she was asking me straight-out. Would I be a bad person if I lied to her face? Or was there any chance that telling the truth could actually get me what I wanted?
“Leah?” she asked, pulling back to look into my eyes. “You don’t – you’re not…?”
I bit my lip, still wordless. All the years of trying to stop myself from being in love with her… the way I’d removed myself from her life when I couldn’t stop… these last few months of falling for her all over again… all of it was coming to a head.
I couldn’t say yes. And I couldn’t say no.
“Oh, Leah, I – I’m sorry.” She inched away from me, her face filled with pity. “I never had any idea. I never would’ve thought I’d be good enough for you.”
She was more than good enough – but I stayed quiet, my hands twisting together in my lap.
“But I mean, it’d never work, right?” she asked plaintively.
“Not if you don’t feel that way about me.” I turned away from her, lying against the couch arm and covering my face. No, it wouldn’t work if she only saw me like a sister, if she didn’t want to rip off my clothes.
It was fair. We’d known each other since birth, and we’d spent almost every day of our childhoods together. If I closed my eyes, I could still picture her at eight, pigtailed and dressed in all pink. Or at twelve, when her cheeks got less chubby and she sprouted up like a beanstalk.
And yet I’d never been immune to her. She’d always been gorgeous and confident and carefree, and it was no surprise that she’d been the center of everyone’s attention. I knew there was no reason for her to stay friends with me, never mind best friends. I was always aware that I was an asteroid rotating around a star, that I was lucky to even be in her orbit.
The Marriage Contract Page 6
