by Jason Kasper
“Agreed. So?”
“Well, take a look at the mortar point. Closest drop-off is a dirt road, so between the vehicle tracks and the equipment offload into the woods, we’re going to leave plenty of ground disturbance for a security team to find.”
“Mitigated by setting up early and bypassing all dirt roads afterwards.”
“We’re going to have to drop off David somewhere, and this spider web of dirt roads all around the hill can’t be avoided. The farther he moves on foot, the more danger he’s in. We’re pushing the known limits of the outer security ring as it is, and David would be in danger of being spotted by an observation post every time he crossed a road, or by someone finding his tracks. Either scenario would point them straight to the mortar site.”
Boss studied the map while massaging his temple.
I asked, “Boss, can I see that?”
He handed it to me.
Matz said, “Here we go. Let’s see what you come up with, Suicide. What did you learn in college that’s going to help us out here?”
“Not a goddamn thing. But I know what I can do with a parachute. You’ve got a small clearing on this ridge about a kilometer from the mortar point, and it’s inside all the dirt road boundaries. Even with scattered trees, that’s ample space for me to land.”
“Maybe if you’re jumping from a few hundred feet, but not out of a plane.”
“I’d be opening at a few hundred feet. This would be with BASE gear, not a skydiving rig. Unless you want them to see a parachute at three thousand feet that circles for a few minutes before landing.”
Boss said, “I’m more concerned with a plane flying overhead and a guy falling out of it right next to our mortar point.”
“Have Joe offset by three kilometers. Let me jump from fourteen thousand feet with a wingsuit, and I’ll fly right to it.”
Karma said, “Well, this is no more ridiculous than any of the other great ideas we’ve discussed so far.”
“What if you bounce?” Ophie asked.
I leaned back in my seat. “Let me jump the day before the hit. If I don’t check in, you could bump Ophie from the ambush to risk walking to the mortars as a contingency. If I miss a subsequent check-in because security rolled me up, you could abort altogether. Either way, you’ve got one guy assuming the risk before you commit your entire ambush team and drivers.”
Boss held out his open hand to me, and I gave him back the map.
Ophie asked, “You could fly that far with your squirrel suit?”
“Wingsuit. And yes.”
Matz said, “I think you’ve seen too many James Bond movies.”
I looked up at him. “If you have a better idea, Matz, let’s hear it.”
Boss stared at the map, saying nothing.
CHAPTER 16
We touched down just before sunrise, the screech of our wheels as they hit the runway jarring me awake. I looked out the window at the mountains ringed by shimmering golden hues across the sky. Turning my head, I saw Karma watching me. She looked away. Ophie and Matz were still asleep, oblivious to our arrival. Boss hadn’t slept at all.
Joe taxied the Caravan off the runway and into a private hangar. Two quad-cab pickups were parked in the corner of the open clamshell structure. The plane came to a halt, and Joe powered down the engines as we descended onto a concrete floor and prepared to unload our equipment.
The flight had been considerably dangerous, and the day ahead would be even more so. We had packed thousands of pounds of military grade hardware and explosives into a single vessel and flown it across state lines. Almost any item chosen at random from our cargo represented a life sentence in prison for possession alone, not including domestic terrorism charges.
Having only a single week to acquire and train on the necessary equipment stretched our time and resources. Not to mention the process of packing all of our worldly possessions, which added strain to our already packed schedule. Matz had managed our timeline down to the hour, and we were exhausted by the time we had finally finished loading the aircraft. Everyone besides Boss and Joe were asleep before takeoff.
The push wasn’t over. The equipment that was risky for us to transport to a commercial airport was far riskier to move in pickup trucks for two and a half hours toward the remote target area, which necessitated daylight, and lots of it. We couldn’t risk exposure at the ambush site, where the very act of burying and camouflaging the explosives alongside the road would likely be an all-night process. We would spend any remaining darkness hiding a cache of rocket launchers and the machine gun. After that, we wouldn’t be able to return until the day of the meeting, by which time security would have been patrolling the area we’d already infiltrated.
It was a massive effort for five people on any time frame, and Boss wanted everything finished by the morning after our flight. By the following sunrise, we could move to a safe house that Ian had arranged for us and spend a few days recovering. But from the moment we arrived in Colorado, carrying out the attack against the Five Heads seemed far easier than the preparations themselves.
* * *
The moon shone brightly, exposing the flat strip of asphalt threading its way between steep hills. I leaned my head against the pickup, now parked in the middle of the road with the hood up. Karma was driving the other truck, which she had parked in a similar fashion a mile and a half down the road from me.
Boss, Matz, and Ophie worked between us, establishing their ambush site.
I crossed my arms tightly against my chest, trying to ward off a chill heightened by our elevation in the hills. The crisp night air seemed to crystallize the stars in stark clarity, their positions fixed amid a glaring lack of clouds in the midnight blue sky. That same tinge of frigidness had silenced almost all wildlife in the vicinity save the occasional call of an owl. Without the solemn chant of crickets, frogs, or other ambient noise, the ceaseless high-pitched ringing in my ears seemed as loud as ever. In any other setting, I would have begun drinking to lift my thoughts out of the darkness. Now, devoid of alcohol, I could only sit and wait for the sun to rise while letting my mind tear itself apart.
My cell phone vibrated, pulsing amidst the silence of the windless night.
I groaned and pulled the phone from my pocket. “Matz, I’m still fucking awake—”
A female voice responded, “He’s been calling you, too?”
I sat up. “Hey, Karma. Yeah, I think he’s afraid I’m passed out in the truck.”
“I think he’s afraid that I fucked off into town to get cigarettes.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t.”
“I haven’t run out of smokes yet. Why did you guys look like shit when I came to pick you up earlier today?”
“Probably because we’d just spent hours shuttling mortar equipment up the side of Mount Everest.”
“Matz looked worse than any of you.”
“He’s been shot in the leg. Of course he looked worse than any of us.”
“So why in God’s name did you carry a sledgehammer up there?”
“To pound the baseplates down before we locked in the tubes. Otherwise, you have to fire a few rounds to get it to settle.”
“I thought you looked very natural with it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind when we do the photo shoot for our team calendar.”
“So what’s it like to want to kill yourself?”
I sighed and turned my eyes skyward. “Diving right in to the intervention, are we?”
“Life is short, David.” I heard the flicker of a lighter over the line.
“It’s like being a teenager in Catholic school,” I said. “Intense feelings of desire at all times, and the fact that everyone tells you it’s wrong and you’re going to hell doesn’t stop your hormones. Whether or not you act on it is beside the point.”
“Why don’t you see a doctor?”
“I don’t like pills.”
“No, you don’t like asking for help. I think you should consider medicat
ion.”
“There’s nothing drugs can do for you that alcohol can’t.”
“What if I wanted you to see a doctor? What if I went with you?”
“No, thanks.”
“But you’re attracted to me.”
“I’m attracted to lots of women. That doesn’t mean I take orders from them.”
“It’s more than that, though. Or am I wrong?”
“You’re the only woman in a house full of guys, so there’s not a lot of competition. Don’t get carried away, Karma.”
“I catch guys looking at me all the time. But I catch you trying desperately not to. Why would that be?”
“I’ll do my best to objectify you more in the future.”
“Why didn’t you call me tonight?”
I rested my free hand against the grip of the Glock hidden under my jacket. “I’m bonding with nature.”
“You could have called. We’ve been out here long enough.”
“You know the reason.”
“No, I don’t.”
“You’re Matz’s ex.”
“Am I?”
“Which is fine. But there are lines I can’t cross.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“It’s a guy thing, Karma. He’s a complete prick, I’ll give you that. But he’s saved my life more than once, and in more than one way, and I’m not going to do that to him.”
“I’m not his ex. I’m his sister.”
I paused. “No wonder you’re such a bitch.”
“Is that better or worse than being his ex?”
“Infinitely worse.”
“And how pathetic do you think I am to believe I’d date a guy like Matz?”
“Fair point. I’ll apologize in person tomorrow.”
“You’ll apologize in person today. It’s midnight.”
I checked my watch. “So it is. Since we’re being blunt, what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. This work.”
“We all have our motivations, David.”
“Yes, but I can’t figure out what yours are. You seem to hate everything we’re doing.”
She went silent, leaving me to the ringing in my ears.
“The first time Matz called me, I hadn’t talked to him in years. It was a chance to see my brother again. Then, it became two driving gigs a year that paid for every expense I could possibly have.”
“But you’ve continued doing it.”
“I have to.”
“Why?”
“Matz won’t let me see him outside of this. And he wasn’t the same after leaving the military. He’s got issues from whatever he did over there, and he doesn’t want to get help either.”
“Having seen him in action, I’m not so sure he’s bothered by it.”
“Oh, you won’t see it when he’s in action. You’ll see it when he isn’t. He can’t handle normalcy anymore.”
“What about the others?”
“You want my amateur opinion?”
“I do.”
“Boss is running away from something. His mind never stops working, so he has to keep it channeled. I don’t think he gets any enjoyment from this work; it’s a compulsive act for him. When his brain is consumed by planning missions, he’s not thinking of his past.”
“And Ophie?”
“He does it because he can. I don’t think he gives a shit about anything. To him, this is slightly more fun than deer hunting.”
“Who does that leave?”
“Us.”
“What would you say about me?”
“You’re too smart for your own good, but you do nothing with your intelligence besides wallow in self-loathing. You’re the only person I’ve ever met who doesn’t believe in God but still hates him. And you can resist sexual attraction, but will roll over in a heartbeat for a bottle of scotch.”
“Bourbon.”
“Bourbon,” she corrected herself. “Other than that, how did I do?”
“Not bad.”
“You’re also straddling the line between being an adrenaline junkie and just having some kind of cliché death wish.”
“Nice addition—not quite under the buzzer, Karma, but I’ll accept it despite your glaring misunderstanding of my liquor proclivities. Normally I’d take extreme offense, so consider this a compliment.”
“Your turn. What would you say about me, David?”
“I haven’t really been paying attention. Give me a week.”
“Tell me now,” she said, the syllables spoken long and slow and likely with an indifferent exhale of cigarette smoke.
“You’re kind by nature, and by extension nice to everyone you meet. Others are happy around you.”
“Cut the shit, David. You sound like a fortune cookie.”
I closed my eyes, picturing her expression as she awaited my response. “You are fucking gorgeous, think you know what’s best for everyone else, and are mildly narcissistic. All three occasionally blur the line between well-intentioned commentary and condescending declarations on the nature of life and happiness that you project onto others.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m always wrong.”
“No, but you’ve never been in a situation where you were about to die, or had to take someone else’s life. You’ve also never looked inward to find yourself truly alone. As a result, you find it easy to judge those who have, which happens to include everyone on the road between us right now.”
“Anything else?”
“You’d be a great mother because you already treat everyone like a child.”
“Do I?”
“I think so.”
“A little heavy-handed, but some fair points.”
“Did I miss anything?”
“Yes.”
“Such as?”
“I used to have a serious coke problem, and everything that went with it. I’m a couple years older than you, and I’ve seen what recovery looks like, so don’t think I’m being a hypocrite when I say you need help.”
“I see.”
“And Matz and I grew up with an abusive father.”
“I’m sorry. How did Matz handle that?”
“Matz was seventeen when he put our father in the hospital. He just lost it. After that, it was the Army or jail. And I never got my brother back.”
“Where is your dad now?”
“Where do you think?”
“Knowing Matz, I’m guessing he has since died of less than natural causes.”
“You’re very perceptive.”
My phone beeped. “Shit, hang on. It’s Matz.”
“Wonderful.”
I switched calls.
“You’ve reached David’s phone. Please leave a message at the—”
“You awake?” Matz asked.
“More than ever. How’s everything going out there?”
“The kill zone is set up and sectors of fire are clean. We’ve got the rockets and machine gun cached, but it’ll take a few more hours to bury the charges.”
“Oh.” I paused. “Are you feeling better?”
“Fuck you.”
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, because earlier you looked a little—”
He hung up, and I switched lines.
“Okay, I’m back.”
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi.”
“I’m running out of cigarettes.”
“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t have any in the first place.”
“Too bad you’re not here.”
“Why, would you share with me?”
“Want to find out?”
“Sort of.”
“Do you want to find out?”
“What do you think, Karma?”
“I want to hear it from you.”
“Then ask me in person.”
A few seconds passed before she said, “What was the name of the girl you were supposed to marry, the one who slept with your best friend?”
“Sarah.”
“And the girl after her?”
“Laila.”
“Tell me about Laila’s ex.”
I rolled my shoulder blades, feeling my back pop, before relaxing again. “She left him for me. He didn’t handle it well. I called to get him to leave her alone. He called me back once after that. Words were exchanged both times.”
“And what was your very rational response to this dick-measuring contest?”
“I blew his fucking head off.”
“You did that for her?”
“I did that for myself.”
“Would you kill someone for me?”
“If that’s what you wanted me to do for you.”
“Are there other options?”
“You’ll have to ask me in person, Karma.”
I heard her exhale smoke into the phone. “Maybe I will.”
* * *
The safe house was a modest, residential structure surrounded by trees and positioned between two neighborhoods. Although we had been awake for more than twenty-four hours, Matz and Ophie sprang to life as soon as we pulled into the driveway. They leapt from the truck, grabbed their bags, and ran up the walkway to the front steps—Ophie tripping Matz on the way—before unlocking the door. The second Ophie swung it open, Matz elbowed him out of the doorway and ran inside first.
“Children,” Karma muttered as Boss and I stepped out of the truck. She took out her suitcase and calmly carried it to the house, leaving Boss and me to unload the remaining bags. By then, our gear only consisted of personal belongings and everyone’s individual weapons except for mine; my M4 and Glock had been staged at the mortar position and were awaiting my arrival.
By the time Boss and I walked through the door, Ophie and Matz had already run through the house and declared ownership of their bedrooms. Matz, now satisfied, walked to the bathroom with a towel slung over his shoulder.
He checked the handle, but found it locked. On the other side of the door, we heard the shower turn on.
“No, no, no,” Matz called. “I’ve got first shower! You take forever.”
