Her words nearly undid his last shred of control. He wanted everything too. He wanted to bury his cock deep inside her. He wanted to hear her moan his name in pleasure when he did. But mostly, he wanted to tuck her against him and keep her there, warm and safe forever. And that was the problem.
No matter what he did, there were no guarantees in life. She could be gone in an instant…ripped from his arms.
That thought was the only one that kept him sane. Insured that he didn’t undo the stays of his breeches and take her right here in the office.
Instead, he pushed his finger in deeper, taking pleasure from her reactions, her moans and cries of pleasure as he watched those lovely lips part. Her eyes dilated, her cheeks flushed, and her body writhed in tandem with his strokes inside her.
And when she came undone, she cried his name again, her neck arching. He kissed the slender column, his own body begging for more. Instead, he gently pulled his finger from inside her, closing her pantaloons, and pulling down her skirt. “How was that for your first experience?”
Her eyes, which had drifted closed, fluttered open and a sassy little smile played upon her lips. “What I am wondering is if that’s as good as it gets or if it gets better?”
He nearly spilled his seed in his pants. “Mary,” he pushed out between gritted teeth. “Do you want to make it to our wedding a virgin?”
Her eyes closed again. “Not particularly.” Then she skimmed her hand down his back until it reached his ass. She gave his cheek a light squeeze. “Do you want me to?”
He throbbed. “No and yes.”
She stiffened underneath him. Stiffened away. “What does that mean?”
Did he tell her that he was afraid to be with a woman again? That such intimacy frightened him after his loss? “I did promise your family there was nothing untoward happening.”
She relaxed again. “And there wasn’t. Now we’re engaged.”
She did have a point. And the part that wanted to be inside her was slowly but surely overruling his worries. “What if you get pregnant before the wedding?” Or at all.
She sighed again and he realized that he loved her little sounds. “We’ll have a baby that much sooner.”
He pulled back. “Is that a good thing?” He knew they’d discussed an heir but the more he considered the idea, the riskier it seemed.
She cupped his cheeks with her hands. “Does it make you feel better to know that the women in my family have very few problems with birthing?”
That did actually. A lot. Air rushed from his chest. “Even the small ones?”
She gave him a grin. “Even the small ones. We’re a tenacious bunch.”
He lifted her skirt again. This was less of the seductive caress and more of a needy yank. “And you’re sure you don’t want to wait until our wedding?” His grip on control was slipping away.
“I’m sure,” she said quietly next to his ear. “I’ve been waiting since forever.”
He fumbled with the fall of his breeches even as he peppered her neck with kisses. “Mary. It’s been so long I…” Did he want to tell her he couldn’t control himself? He took several deep breaths as he parted her pantaloons again, the silky fabric brushing against his thighs.
She slid her fingers into his hair, pulling him tighter to his chest. “I’m ready for you.”
His entire body responding to those words, hardening, lengthening. As beautiful as he found her, her voice might be the most erotic feature of them all and it undid his control as he pressed the head of his cock against her soft folds. She was so wet and ready that he slid inside her without much resistance, her tight channel wrapping him in warmth. A low groan slid from his throat, as he stopped, not wanting to hurt her. But her arms tightened, encouraging him to keep going so he tilted his hips closer to hers, pushing further inside.
She made a small whimper but he froze nonetheless, lifting his head to look into her face. “Mary.”
A thin smiled graced her lips. “I’m all right. I knew it would hurt the first time. Keep going.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, searching her face.
Her smile grew. “The benefit of age. A little pain never hurt anyone.” Then she leaned up and kissed him. “I want to be yours, Cole. All yours.”
Her lips, her voice uttering those words, unseated the last of his reserve. He thrust fully inside her, her maidenhead giving way. “It’s done,” he gritted out, even as she locked her arms about his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.
She let out a little gasping breath that sounded half like a laugh. “I never thought this day would come.” Then she gave his back a little tap with her hand. “Keep going. What’s next?”
He shook his head but slowly moved out and then back inside her. Starting a rhythm, she relaxed underneath him. A minute or two passed and his own control grew thin. “I’m not sure I can last much, it’s been so long.”
“Don’t last then.” She kissed the lobe of his ear. “Cole.”
Her whispering his name was his final undoing. In a roar, he finished, his seed spilling inside her. But something else, deep in his chest, came undone as well. A flood of feelings he’d been holding back for ages poured out from inside. There was love. He was falling in love with this woman, he couldn’t deny it any longer. There was hope too.
But there was also grief and fear. Sharp, it bit behind his eyes making them sting with unshed tears. He was opening himself up again and that was bloody frightening.
Chapter Twelve
Mary gave Cole another squeeze about his shoulders. She wasn’t certain if he was awake or asleep but his weight had collapsed on top of hers. She liked it, immensely, but it was getting difficult to breathe. “Cole,” she placed a kiss where his shoulder met his neck.
“Mmmh,” he answered, not really moving.
“Are you awake?” she asked stroking his back.
“Mmmh.”
She moved under him wondering if she could wriggle to the side to get more air. She didn’t want to disrupt the moment, it was one of the best in her life, she just didn’t want to faint during it either.
“Mary,” he said, lifting his head. “If you keep moving like that, we’re going to have to do it again and I don’t think your body’s ready for more.”
She tried to giggle but it came out as a gasping breath. “It’s just that you’re squishing me,” she finally admitted. “You’re quite a bit larger than I am.”
His face shuddered and he immediately rolled to the side. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Mary scrunched her brow. This close, she could feel the tension reenter his body. “Squish me?” she asked as he started to pull further away but her arms were still about his neck and she held on tight, moving with him as he came to his side. She touched her nose to his. “Tell me what I’ve done to upset you.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.” She touched her forehead to his. “This close you can’t lie to me. I feel your change.”
He slumped then, gathering her close. “My first wife was a small woman. I loved protecting her until I couldn’t.”
Mary’s heart thudded in her chest and she understood the full extent of his fear. In this way, she was the worst choice for his wife. She squeezed him tight to her chest. “Tell me how me and your wife are different.”
He drew in a deep breath. “She’d been sickly as a child. She’d outgrown the disease but…”
She smiled, rubbing her nose softly against his. “Does it help you at all to know that I never get sick? I rarely even have colds. Even when I tended my cousins as children.”
His eyes brightened. “It does.”
“How was her first delivery with Anne?”
“Awful.” He shuddered again, then he locked his gaze on hers. “You said your family delivers babies with ease?”
Anne nodded. “I don’t want to make you false promises. But I can tell you, for better or for worse, often for worse, I am rather strong of character and body too.�
��
“I love that about you.” And then he captured her mouth in a searing kiss.
For her part, she closed her eyes and pretended he’d just said, I love you. And in her heart, she said the words back. She knew he’d put an end date on their physical relationship but for her, she didn’t want that part to end. Perhaps if the baby was born with ease, he’d change his mind?
She did want to laugh with joy that her Chase tenacity, the very thing she’d hated about herself, was the one thing he loved. Could she win his heart with strength alone? She knew she had to try.
Sin carefully straightened Mary’s clothing. He’d like to take her directly to his bed and keep her there for the entire night but Anne needed Mary more than he did. Still, some part of him cried out to keep her close. It wasn’t just Anne whom Mary was mending. He also felt the changes happening inside his heart, his soul.
“I’ll join you and Anne in the nursery for dinner,” he whispered close to her ear. He ran his fingers from her neck to her shoulder.
She reached up and touched his cheek. “I’d like that.” Standing on tiptoe, she pressed a kiss to his mouth. “Thank you for everything.”
“Everything?” His heart battered his rib cage, it beat so fast.
“For accepting my proposal, for this…” She gestured toward the carpet as she licked her lips. “Even if I were to die an early death.” She gripped his hands. “This time with you has made my life complete. I would die happy and—” Her breath caught. “I’m afraid I’ve quite fallen in love with you.” Then she released his hand and spun toward the door. But as the heavy panel swung open, she stopped short.
Reeves stood in the doorway, his face scrunched in pain as he stared at Sin. “You’ve allowed a viper into our midst.”
Sin sucked in his breath as Mary took a step back. He wrapped an arm about her waist and pulled her back to his chest. “You overstep.”
Reeves sneered. “I’m protecting you. You can’t see that this woman is using her beauty to manipulate you into gaining the position of mistress. One she does not belong in.”
Mary let out a gasp, covering her mouth with her hands, a shudder running through her body. Sin carefully tucked her behind him, stepping toward Reeves. “You will be making the trip to my country estate first thing in the morning. You will stay there until I decide what to do with you.”
“But, my lord.” Reeve’s brows drew together. “I am protecting you. She’s…” he pointed to Mary, “a social climber.”
Mary’s hand slid to Sin’s shoulder. “Reeves,” she spoke softly. “Your commitment to your lord’s happiness is commendable.”
Sin shook his head. “And your opinion of my fiancée is misplaced. Mary’s uncle is an earl.”
Reeves let out a soft whoosh of breath. “I didn’t know. Besides…” He held up his hands. “She’s small like Lady Sinclair. What if-—”
“Enough,” Sin cut the other man off. Reeves had been the family’s butler since he’d been a boy of ten. With his grief and without a mistress, he’d allowed Reeves to take over many tasks, but he was beginning to understand that he’d allowed a lot of life to slip out of his control, including his own fears. “Reeves, you’ve been a faithful employee and I am most grateful. But my marriage is none of your concern. If you value your position here, you will turn around and go to your room and pack your bag at once.”
Reeves’ face fell. “I only want what’s best for you.”
“Don’t sack him,” Mary whispered low so only he could hear.
He turned back to drink in her lovely features still flushed from their lovemaking. “He was rude to you.”
“He’ll learn his place.” Mary looked over his shoulder at Reeves. “Loyalty is a difficult trait to find.”
Sin shook his head. “You are unfailingly the kindest person I’ve ever met.” He looked back at Reeves. “Perhaps you would like to edit your opinion of the new mistress of the house?”
Reeves eyes grew very round. “It’s been decided then?” The man took a half step back. “You’ll marry her.”
Sin pointed his finger toward the door. Mary was likely right that Reeves’ loyalty was unfailing but he couldn’t have Reeves pestering his new bride either. Mary needed time and space to put this family back together. And he was ready to help her in that mission. “You’ll spend the summer in the country. I hope you’ll use your trip for reflection. When we join you in the fall, you’ll greet the new countess with all the respect her title deserves.”
Reeves gave a quick jerk of his chin. “Yes, my lord.” Then he spun about and raced down the hall.
After he left, Sin turned to Mary, wrapping his arms about her. “Are you all right?”
She nodded but didn’t meet his eye. “Fine.”
He placed a hand under her chin. “You can’t lie to me when we’re this close. I can feel it.”
That brought a ghost of a smile to her lips. “It’s just that when you said my size made you afraid, I thought you were too close to the situation to see it for what it was. But when Reeves said it…” She shook her head. “I did coerce you into proposing. Reeves is right about that. What if I’m leading you down the wrong path?”
If he thought he’d loved this woman before, he nearly burst with the emotion now. “Reeves is overstepping and the reason for that is me. I’ve needed someone to take me by the hand and show me the way. I allowed his role in this house to grow beyond what it should be because I wasn’t able…” He paused. “Mary, no other woman could have brought me so far in so little time. You are not a temptation to be denied. More and more, I think you’re my redemption.”
Chapter Thirteen
Cole’s words filled her with hope. A feeling that carried her through the night and into the next morning. From that hope, grew joy when she learned they’d be wed within a fortnight. Her uncle had been able to secure the license for their nuptials.
So when Anne, bounding with enthusiasm, asked if they could celebrate with a picnic in the park, Mary agreed. The child had slept fitfully with Mary in the bed across the room and all around, it seemed like a day for celebration.
Cole had gone out for the morning, but she left a note on his desk, that they’d journeyed to the nearby park with a picnic lunch. She invited him to join them if he was able.
Setting out, they made their way to a perfect picnic spot next to a large pond with several rowboats parked on a pier. Anne clapped with delight. “Can we take one for a row?”
Mary smiled as she turned back to the basket. “In a bit. First let’s get our picnic set up.” Much of London would journey out to walk or ride in parks such as these, but many would wait until the afternoon. It was still early yet and only a few others graced the paths at this time of the morning. “We’ll set up in the shade of that tree so that we might spend the day if we’d like. I brought some paint supplies and—” She stopped as she heard the scrape of wood against wood.
Anne had traversed the dock and was pushing off the pier in her little boat. “Anne,” Mary called sharply. “Come back at once.”
Anne tried to maneuver the oar but it slipped in the lock. The boat drifted out further from the pier as she struggled to gain control of the small boat. “I can’t get it to work.”
Mary started down the path to the pier. “Take a deep breath and then pull the oar closer to your body.”
But as the girl fumbled again, she let go of one of the oars and it promptly slipped into the lake. “Oh,” Anne cried, immediately reaching for the oar. “Let me just.”
“No,” Mary called. “Don’t.” but it was too late. The boat tipped and Anne toppled into the water, the boat landing upside down on top of her. Mary gasped and then, not sure what else to do, dove into the water. Thank goodness, summers spent in the country meant she could swim and her light summer fashions didn’t drag her down. With sure strokes she made her way to the boat diving under the water to find Anne in its murky depths. She crested once, panicking when she couldn’t see the child b
ut then a piece of fabric on the water’s surface caught her attention. Anne was under the overturned boat.
Diving back in, she pushed to the rowboat, coming up and out of the water in the dark of the little boat. Anne was barely conscious, her hand loosely holding the oar as she moaned softly.
“Anne,” Mary gasped grabbing the bench, to give herself a bit of respite. She reached her other hand under the girl’s neck to make sure she could still breathe. “Anne, are you all right?”
“Mary?” The girl turned toward her. “I think I hit my head.”
Mary pulled the girl closer. Inwardly she flinched. At least Anne was alive, but swimming the girl back was going to be challenging. And then there was Cole. He’d kept Anne tucked away doing lessons for years. One trip to the park and she’d nearly destroyed his child. “It’s all right. Let’s get out into the sunlight and then we’ll figure out how we get to the shore.
“I don’t want to let go of the boat.” Anne answered.
“You don’t have to. We’re just going to duck under the edge while we keep holding on. Can you do that?”
Anne nodded. “I think so.”
“Such a brave girl.” She stroked Anne’s cheek.
“You’re not angry with me?”
Mary shook her head. “I would like you to proceed with more caution. Your father trusted us to be adventurers. We have to reward him with doing so in a safe manner.”
Anne wrapped her free arm around Mary. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She kissed the girl’s head. “Now hold your breath and close your eyes. We’re going under.”
Sin arrived home to find a lovely note with scrolling handwriting in the center of his desk. The words, however, made him shift. They’d gone to the park.
Their excursion shouldn’t be a big deal. And yet, he’d managed to keep Anne under his watchful eye and to have her gone…
Earl of Sin: Lords of Scandal Book 6 Page 7
