by A. L. Brooks
Carmen let out an audible sigh. “Well, that is perfect timing because there was another reason I called, not just as a general touch base kind of thing.”
“Yes?”
“Uh-huh. I got a call from the studio this morning. While he’s not outright apologised, Don has accepted that he offended you. The studio has extracted a promise from him to be more…civilised in his dealings with you and is keen for you to return to work ASAP. They know what a name you are, and having that name on all the publicity is going to put more bums on seats. So,” she cleared her throat, a classic indicator that she was about to say something Tamsyn may not completely enjoy, “they’d like to send a car to collect you. Tomorrow morning.”
Tamsyn’s stomach fell to her knees. “That…that soon?” Her voice broke but she didn’t care.
“I know, I know. I mean, if you’re desperate for more time, I can maybe push that back by twenty-four hours but…”
Tamsyn knew why Carmen didn’t feel she could finish the sentence—any more diva-like behaviour from Tamsyn and the studio might decide her name wasn’t worth as much trouble as she caused. She glanced back at Maggie and Gizmo, who were having a love-in on the bench, Gizmo sitting beside her while Maggie ruffled his head and ears. The thought of walking away from them, from this, wrenched at Tamsyn’s insides but she knew it had to be done.
“No,” she said, finding a firmness in her tone that surprised her. “It’s time. I understand. What time will the car be there?”
“Around eleven. Tamsyn, are you sure—”
“That’s fine. I’ll be ready. Thanks for the call.” She hung up before Carmen could complete her goodbye because her throat was tightening and tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes, and she’d be damned if she was going to blub on the phone to her agent. Or even in front of Maggie, so she kept her head turned away, gazing unseeing up the beach, while she fought to get her rampaging emotions under control.
A couple of minutes later she’d managed it—she sincerely hoped—and turned back towards the bench.
Tamsyn looked so serious that for one moment, Maggie thought someone had died. Then that trademark glamour smile split her face, and Maggie knew whatever it was, it wasn’t that dramatic. Still, as Tamsyn approached the bench, she braced herself. Something told her their time was coming to an end, and Tamsyn didn’t know how to break the news.
“That was Carmen. My agent,” Tamsyn began, shuffling from foot to foot.
“You’re leaving,” Maggie said, with as little emotion as she could manage, even though, as she said the words, her stomach churned.
Tamsyn opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again and merely nodded.
“Now?”
“No. Tomorrow morning.” Tamsyn’s voice was gruff, but not with anger.
“Right.” Maggie looked away, out to sea, her fingers curling and uncurling around Gizmo’s ears as she tried so hard to keep her emotions in check. She’d known, of course, that Tamsyn would depart at some point and their fun would come to an end. But now, when it was so imminent, she realised how much she’d been hoping for more, and the reality that there wouldn’t be more was crashing down around her. Tamsyn, despite sounding as emotional as Maggie felt, wouldn’t allow them to talk about a possible future. And Maggie wanted that; the force of her desire for a future with Tamsyn was overwhelming. Angrily, she brushed at the tears that threatened to fall.
She cleared her throat before speaking, and was vaguely pleased that she sounded close to normal as she said, “Shall we head back now? I still need to get my groceries so the sooner we get on the road, the sooner I can do that and get you back home to pack.”
“Maggie,” Tamsyn breathed, stepping forward, her hand reaching out.
Maggie shook her head. “Please. I…can’t. Not now.”
Tamsyn dropped her hand. Maggie dared to look at her and was rewarded with a pained face, a deep frown marring that otherwise perfect brow.
“It’s… Maggie, you know I can’t. I know that makes me sound like a coward and—”
Maggie held up a hand and smiled wanly. “You don’t have to explain. I get it. I don’t agree, but I get it, and don’t worry, I’m not going to go all Glenn Close on you.”
Tamsyn chuckled, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Good to know.”
Maggie reached for Gizmo’s lead and stood up, encouraging him to hop down to the pavement before she turned back to Tamsyn. “Come on, then. Let’s get back.”
Nodding, Tamsyn fell in beside her and they walked slowly to the car. Gizmo glanced up at them numerous times, and Maggie wondered yet again just how her dog could know. Because he always did.
The drive to the supermarket was mostly silent, but not uncomfortable. Leaving Tamsyn in the car, still wrapped up in her sunglasses-and-hat disguise, Maggie grabbed her handbag from behind her seat and told Gizmo to stay before heading into the large shop. It was a struggle to find the enthusiasm for decent food when all she wanted to do was eat biscuits and wallow in self-pity for the next few days, but she restrained herself to one packet of chocolate digestives and ensured she added plenty of fruit and vegetables to the basket. Two bottles of red wine were also added; she had some sorrows to drown.
Tamsyn was scrolling through something on her phone when Maggie returned. After loading the bags of groceries in the boot, she climbed into the front seat, accepted Gizmo’s little yips and whines of greeting with a ruffle of his ears, then slipped her seatbelt on.
“Get everything you need?” Tamsyn’s voice was quiet, and Maggie glanced over at her before starting the car. She looked tired.
“Yes, thanks. You okay?”
“Yes. No. Sort of.” Tamsyn shrugged and looked out of the front window.
Maggie waited, trying to tamp down a sudden upwelling of anger. It was Tamsyn’s decision to end this, to walk away. If she was sad about it now, that was her own damn fault.
“Sorry,” Tamsyn whispered. “Whether you believe me or not, I really wish I could be braver. But I’m not that person.”
Maggie huffed out a sigh. “Well, maybe one day you will be. And whoever gets to benefit from that will be one lucky woman. But more than that, you will be better for it, whether you believe me or not.”
Tamsyn said nothing, and Maggie started the car.
When Maggie swung the car down the track that led to the lake, Tamsyn’s stomach tied itself into knots. Maggie hadn’t spoken again since their…discussion in the car park, and Tamsyn had had no idea how to break the heavy silence that had enveloped them on the drive back. Even Gizmo seemed to know something was up, whining softly from the back seat at regular intervals.
Now, here they were, less than two minutes away from the cottages, and Tamsyn did not want to leave things like this. She didn’t know if Maggie wanted to hear it, but she would miss her, of that she was certain, and she wanted their last memory of each other to be at least nice, if not happy.
Maggie pulled them up at the end of the short drive that led to Tamsyn’s cottage. She engaged the handbrake, turned off the engine, and then sat very still, head straight forward and hands clasped in her lap.
Tamsyn swallowed, undid her seatbelt, then reached out a hand and laid it across Maggie’s joined ones. At the touch, Maggie’s head bowed, and moments later, cold drops fell on the back of Tamsyn’s hand. Tamsyn’s heart stuttered.
“I’m sorry,” Maggie said. “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but…”
“Please,” Tamsyn pleaded, “can we still have the rest of today together? I don’t want to say goodbye like this.”
“You want one last tumble in the sheets for the road, huh?” Maggie’s voice was so cold it was a wonder the air around them didn’t freeze.
Tamsyn resisted yanking her hand back and instead took a deep breath before saying, “Actually, that was the last thing on my mind.” She dared to reach o
ut her other hand, twisting in her seat so she had room to reach Maggie’s chin and turn her head to face her. Maggie’s eyes brimmed with tears, and her expression was a mixture of sadness and frustration. “I just wanted more time with you. To talk to you, and share a meal with you, and one last drink to toast what we’ve had, what we’ve been. Because as much as I’m a shit for walking away from you like this,” her voice cracked, “this past week with you has been one of the happiest times in my entire life. And I would just like to extend that for as long as I can before I fuck it all up by leaving.”
“Not fair,” Maggie sniffed, and moments later a small smile crossed her lips. “Now you’ve made it all right again and I can’t say no.” She playfully slapped at Tamsyn’s arm with her free hand.
The relief Tamsyn experienced was palpable, and she exhaled a long breath.
“Just…give me a little time. I want to put the shopping away, and make myself a bit more presentable after this.” Maggie waved a hand at her own face. “Come to mine in about an hour, okay? That way you can decide when you leave and it won’t get awkward.”
It was the matter-of-fact way she said the last words that really got to Tamsyn. Maggie was resigned now—to losing what they had, and to the knowledge that Tamsyn wouldn’t do anything to change it. That hurt more than the anger had.
“Okay. An hour.” She forced the words out past a tightened throat, then reached for the door handle. After pushing the door open and swinging her legs out, she ducked her head back inside. “Want me to bring anything?”
Maggie shook her head, her smile weak. “Just your beautiful self.”
Tamsyn tried to smile back, but wasn’t sure it was successful. Her feet were like lead as she walked down her driveway, and when she stepped into her cold cottage, she knew that no amount of heating or fire would warm the deep cold that had settled into her heart.
Maybe I should have stuck to my guns, told her to stay away. Said a crappy goodbye in the car and been done with it.
Maggie flopped onto the sofa and sighed. Yeah, as if she could have done that. Despite her harsh words to Tamsyn, Maggie herself wanted more time, to put off the moment of farewell to the last possible minute. She glanced at her phone to check the time; Tamsyn would be here in about five minutes.
And I want one more evening of nakedness with her. A few more hours of feeling that closeness, that connection that has been so strong since the first time we touched each other. It had been incredible, how quickly they’d learned each other, and how well they’d pleasured each other as a result. She’d be a fool not to want that one more time.
The fire popped and Gizmo, in his customary position in front of it, twitched in his sleep.
A muted knock at the front door stirred him from his slumber and he raced to the door, an excited yelp passing his lips. Maggie slowly followed behind him, heart pounding, palms dampening. When she swung the door open and Tamsyn smiled at her, it tugged at Maggie’s already fragile heart. It wasn’t the flashy actress smile, the fake one that hid everything. It was the real one, tinged with sadness and melancholy for the person Tamsyn wished she could be but for some reason didn’t believe she was deserving of.
It wasn’t what Maggie would have planned, or anticipated, until she saw her standing there. But in the next moment she reached for Tamsyn, pulled her close, and kissed her. Her tongue dove deep immediately, arms encircling Tamsyn and walking them into the cottage without breaking the contact between their mouths. Tamsyn groaned, low and powerful, and kicked the door shut behind them. Maggie kept moving backwards, still holding Tamsyn close, stumbling them down the hallway and into the bedroom. She broke the kiss only to close the door, barring Gizmo from entering, then turned to the gorgeous woman facing her in the centre of the room.
It was slow, and tender, their touches both assured and somehow hesitant, as if their hands were scared to believe that this was the last time they would be able to do this. Everything they’d learned about each other’s bodies was used to maximum effect but without calculation or planning. When Tamsyn slipped two fingers inside Maggie, she in turn reached for Tamsyn’s breasts, rubbing the nipples with her thumbs, cupping the delicious flesh in her palms, knowing that Tamsyn loved the combination of being inside Maggie while being touched herself. Tamsyn kissed Maggie then, knowing that Maggie loved to be kissed while being fucked, loved the action of Tamsyn’s tongue in her mouth mirroring what her fingers were doing deep inside. It was a perfect choreography—unscripted yet known by heart. Their first orgasms were their strongest; hot skin, slicked with perspiration, met at multiple points as their bodies arched, and writhed, and then collapsed back onto the bed. They rested only for moments before hands again reached for breasts, and thighs, and mouths met over and over again as their arousal rapidly rose.
“Lay on your front,” Maggie whispered hoarsely, and Tamsyn instantly obliged, flipping herself over and laying with her arms outstretched and her legs parted. She was wet. Very wet, and Maggie relished the sensation of the slickness that coated her fingers as she trailed through softness and plunged inside Tamsyn. Tamsyn’s gasp evolved into a tortured, wrenching groan that turned Maggie on so much she feared she’d come without any manipulation at all. “Up on your knees,” she rasped, and Tamsyn couldn’t move fast enough, it seemed, pushing back against Maggie’s fingers and crying out as Maggie pressed deeper, her free hand on Tamsyn’s ass, spreading her open even more.
“God, yes!” Tamsyn said, her voice a ragged shadow of its usual self.
Maggie’s arm was burning with the effort, but she didn’t care. Her knees were complaining, but she didn’t care. All she cared about, all that she could see and feel and hear, was Tamsyn, open before her, hot wetness pulling Maggie even further in, joining them so deeply, so profoundly that tears spilled out of Maggie’s eyes and tracked down her cheeks to fall onto Tamsyn’s ass below her. If Tamsyn noticed she said nothing, but she braced herself on one arm and reached back with the other, grabbing Maggie’s wrist and clinging on just as her orgasm crested and her back bowed with its release. Her low, long cry tore through Maggie like a hurricane.
Later, much later, after they had paused for water and something to eat, they lay naked under a blanket on the sofa, watching the fire and holding each other close. Maggie’s back was pressed up against Tamsyn’s front; their legs were entwined and Tamsyn’s breasts were soft cushions against Maggie’s shoulder blades. Tamsyn was kissing Maggie’s ear, and neck, her hands squeezing where they were joined with Maggie’s in front of Maggie’s chest.
“God, you’re beautiful,” Tamsyn whispered before licking a soft line from Maggie’s ear lobe up to the top of her ear and back down again. “So beautiful.”
“Thank you,” Maggie murmured, her skin on fire again, her clit throbbing with need again. This time in front of the fire was bittersweet; it was already midnight, and Tamsyn would need to go soon, but Maggie didn’t want to be the one to remind her. They felt so right like this, cuddled up together, no need for words.
Tamsyn tucked her head into Maggie’s hair and inhaled deeply. “And you smell bloody divine,” she said, chuckling.
Maggie snorted. “It’s just regular shampoo. Nothing fancy.”
“Well, it suits you.” Tamsyn yawned, snuggling in further against Maggie’s back.
“You okay?”
“Uh-huh.” Tamsyn yawned again. “Someone wore me out.”
Maggie smiled and squeezed Tamsyn’s hands. She traced a haphazard pattern with one fingertip across the back of one of them, keen to keep contact wherever she could, for as long as she could. Her own eyes were heavy with fatigue, and she closed them briefly, soothed by the sound of Tamsyn’s breathing in her ear. Her fingertip slowed its pattern as lethargy took over, and she sighed. This was nice. This wasn’t something they’d really done before, and she fully intended to make the most of it. Tamsyn’s breathing deepened, and her hold on Maggie loose
ned but didn’t break. Maggie relaxed too, wondering briefly if she was too heavy, pressed up against Tamsyn like this, then discounting the notion in the next moment. If Tamsyn didn’t like it, she’d say. She’d get up soon, Maggie knew that, but for now, Maggie would keep quiet, and lay with her, soaking up these feelings for the lonely nights ahead.
Tamsyn didn’t understand how Maggie failed to stir when she eased herself away at four in the morning, but she was grateful for whatever force made it so. Gizmo stood at once, cocking his head to stare at her, but she put her finger on her lips and he miraculously kept quiet. She tucked the blanket carefully around Maggie, her heart aching as she did so; Maggie looked so peaceful asleep, her eyelids flickering as she dreamed.
“I’m so sorry,” Tamsyn whispered into the cold, quiet room. “I wish it could be different. If it could, I’d give you the whole fucking world, Maggie.” Her throat constricted, and she swallowed hard before turning away from the sleeping form.
She crept to the bedroom to retrieve her clothes, but didn’t put on her boots until she’d slowly inched the front door open enough to slide out onto the front porch. Was she yet more of a chicken for running off without saying goodbye? Possibly—but they’d been saying goodbye all evening, with their bodies, their mouths, their fingers. Somehow, she thought Maggie would understand. She looked back when she reached the path that would lead to her own cottage, and her heart wrenched. Maggie had shown Tamsyn what might have been possible, if she’d made different choices. She knew she was too old to make them now, but it was nice to have experienced that, even just for a couple of weeks. She’d always have that, at least—warm memories to fall back on whenever things got too lonely or too crazy to deal with. They wouldn’t be anywhere near as perfect as the real thing, but they would be enough.
