by Twyla Turner
Gage grasped her upper arm firmly, stopping her and turning her around to face him. His eyes were silver. Whenever he was upset, they turned more gray than green.
“I know you’re upset that your family didn’t show up tonight or yesterday, but don’t take that out on me. You have no idea the strength it takes for me not to touch you or kiss you every chance I can get. What I did out there was what I’ve wanted to do every time we’ve sung together. Hell,” Gage threw up his arms. “It’s what I want to do every time I’m near you.”
Lyris didn’t realize it until it was too late. Gage moved towards her as he spoke and she moved back trying to keep her distance. Until he’d backed her up against a truck trailer, trapping her.
Gage’s hands clasped the sides of her face. His thumbs stroked her cheeks. His eyes searched hers. Lyris’ chest rose and fell harshly as she waited for him to make his next move.
He didn’t. He stood there. Waiting. Pleading with his eyes for her to make the first move. She’d rejected him enough. She had to make the decision.
Lyris lifted her face. She rose up on her tiptoes to meet him the rest of the way. She gently brushed her lips over his. Gage groaned before his hands buried themselves in the hair at the back of her head as he pulled her in for a deeper kiss.
The kiss was sweet and innocent. Soft pecks that moved to her cheeks and nose and chin and eyelids. The kiss was loving. Hands cupped faces and fingertips danced over smooth skin or skin stubbled with hair as they learned the feel of each other. The kiss was erotic and filled with sexual promise. His tongue stroked into the warm wet recesses of her mouth. Her tongue caressed his. His teeth scraped her bottom lip. Their hands tried pulling the other closer as they wished there were no barriers between them.
Something inside Lyris’ chest bubbled up. It rose up to her throat and she choked. Gage pulled back, squeezed his eyes shut, and rested his forehead against hers trying to catch his breath. His mind was probably still cloudy with arousal and didn’t realize the woman in his arms was fracturing.
~~~
Lyris’ shoulders began to shake. A sob burst from her lips. Gage jerked back and looked down at her. Her eyes were filled with tears. She blinked and the tears streamed down her face. More replaced them seconds later.
“Lyris, baby.” Gage grasped her shoulders. “What is it? Did I do something wrong? Did I push too hard?”
Lyris shook her head. She couldn’t speak past the broken sobs escaping her throat.
Gage looked around. No one was coming yet, but soon all of the crew would be bringing out the pieces of the broken-down stage.
“Come on. Let’s get on the bus.” Gage placed his hand at her back and guided her to the tour bus.
Gage walked on first, but held his hands behind him as she still gripped them and guided her up the stairs. Everyone looked up and Gage shook his head. They all remained quiet as he walked her back to his bedroom.
Gage closed the door behind them. He pressed the button to lower his bed. Once it was down, he sat her on the edge and then took the spot next to her. Lyris never let go of his hand.
“Now, can you please tell me what’s wrong? I feel like an ass.” Gage looked at her closely.
She’d finally calmed down enough to speak past her hiccups.
“It’s…my…family.” She wiped at her face. “I can…can’t believe they didn’t…come. An…and the hur…hurt just hit me as we were k…kissing.”
Gage reached for her face and kissed the wet track down her cheeks. Another sob burst from her lips.
“See!”
“I’m sorry.” Gage pulled back.
“It’s not your fault. Not on purpose, anyway.” Lyris shook her head. “You tear down my walls. You make me feel like I can be vulnerable. I was holding myself together when I realized they weren’t coming. But being with you makes all that come down and I can’t help but to feel everything.”
“Well, I’m happy you can be yourself with me. But I’m sorry I’m making you sad.” Gage said as his heart hurt for her.
“I just need to sleep.” Lyris sagged as if all her energy was depleted.
“You can sleep here. I promise no funny business.”
Lyris nodded. A few tears trailed down her face.
Gage got up and found a t-shirt and sweatpants. He held them out to her. Lyris took them and went into his private bathroom. She came back out looking comfy and adorable in his oversized sleepwear.
Gage pulled back the covers and Lyris wearily climbed on the bed and underneath the blankets and sheet. Gage quickly took her place in the bathroom. He took a shower to remove the sweat from the show and changed into matching pajamas.
When he walked back out into his room, Lyris was already asleep. He crawled into the bed. She faced him with her hands together like in prayer and her head rested on top of them. Gage reached out. His fingertips lightly danced over her face. She sighed in her sleep at his touch.
Gage leaned forward and pressed his lips against her forehead. Then he whispered softly against her skin.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” Lyris said in her sleep and then rolled over.
Gage didn’t really know if that technically counted because she wasn’t even conscious. But that didn’t stop his heart from expanding to three times its normal size.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him. She was soft and warm. A comforting presence. Gage fell into a deep sleep. Deeper than he’d slept since the tour started.
Lyris stretched and then froze when a strong arm squeezed around her waist. Memories of the night before came flooding back to her. The kiss. Her breakdown. How Gage took care of her.
There was no doubt that she was absolutely head over heels in love with the man who was currently spooning her and unknowingly poking her backside with something rather large. And that scared Lyris more than anything. Gage had the power to destroy her heart if she gave it to him.
Lyris had only been in love once before. She’d still been a virgin. He’d courted her like a proper gentleman. Even her parents liked him. He never pushed or pressured her. Then after months of dating, they’d exchanged ‘I love yous’ and finally made love. And he never called her again.
He’d ghosted her before ghosting had even become a thing. Lyris hadn’t dated anyone seriously since. She had a few love affairs here and there with guys. But nothing more than sex and friendship. Instead, she’d focused on her career.
Now, Gage had come into her life like a blazing fire that couldn’t be ignored. And she was terrified of getting burned again. Because Gage wasn’t a man she could fuck and then walk away from. She knew being with him would change everything.
Lyris slid slowly out from under his arm. She scooted out of the bed and slipped out of the bedroom and headed to the kitchen to make some coffee.
Brandi, Rainey, and Mack were already up. They were sitting around the table already drinking coffee.
“Uh…did I miss something?” Lyris asked. “Was there a secret meeting of the Black Coalition I didn’t know about?”
Lyris joked seeing all the black members of the band together.
The three of them chuckled.
“Nah…Riley farted in his sleep and woke us up.”
“Tour bus life,” Lyris nodded solemnly and started fixing herself some coffee.
“So…we see you slept in the back with Gage.” Brandi placed her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. “So, how’d that go?”
“First of all, don’t go collecting your bet money just yet because nothing happened. Yeah, Neal told me,” Lyris said after their eyes got as big as golf balls. “Secondly, it’s none of your business. Nosy!”
“Everything that goes on in this bus is everyone’s business.” Brandi crossed her arms over her chest. “If you haven’t noticed, we’re a family. And there’s literally nothing else to do while on tour other than to annoy each other and get in each other’s business.”
/> “Then why did it take so long for Rainey and Mack to get together? As nosy as you all are being in mine and Gage’s lives, I’d think you would’ve said something to these two, long before I came along and opened my big mouth.”
“She’s got a point.” Mack said.
“We knew they’d eventually get it together. You on the other hand. You’re stubborn as hell.”
“I have my reasons. And they’re mine alone. So, you all can back off. And bet on something like is Riley going to ever break up with his girlfriend or stop cheating. Or maybe when you will settle down with someone nice.” Lyris looked at Brandi for that last part.
“Touché,” Brandi said.
“Thanks,” Lyris grinned and took her first sip of coffee.
Gage walked out from the back. He stretched and stifled a loud yawn. His shirt lifted and Lyris’ eyes found their way to the dark happy trail that led into his pants. Along with the bulge in his gray sweatpants.
“Good morning, peeps!” Gage grinned.
He leaned down to give Lyris a kiss. She turned and gave him her cheek. He hesitated but didn’t say anything. She did hear a soft resigned sigh before he started fixing his own coffee.
She knew he was losing patience with her. Not to mention the rejection he probably felt. And she hated it. She wished that she could let go of the past. To stop being worried about the future and what society would have to say about them as a couple.
Once Gage finished making his coffee, without a word he walked back to his space and slammed the door shut. Lyris flinched and shut her eyes in response to the angry slam.
The other three in the room tried to look at anything besides Lyris. She knew she needed to go talk to him. With her own resigned sigh, Lyris got up and walked back to his door. She lifted a trembling hand and knocked lightly.
“Yeah,” he called out.
“It’s me.”
There was a long pause before he said, “It’s open.”
Lyris opened the door. Gage was sitting in a chair at his little makeshift studio. The bed was tucked away already.
He swiveled around and looked at her expectantly.
“Well?” He asked when she remained silent.
“Gage, I’m sorry.”
“I’m tired of hearing you’re sorry. You run so damn hot and co-cold I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. But I’m gonna give you your space. You don’t have to worry about me pressuring you to do something you don’t w-want.” Gage turned, giving her his back.
He was dismissing her.
“Gage, I…”
“You what?” He turned and gave her a cold look. His eyes gray in his anger. “If you w-want to see what this is between us, s-say it. F-Fucking say it, Lyris. If you don’t. L-Leave me alone.”
The word. The one word that would change everything was on the tip of her tongue. It ran itself through her mind over and over again.
Yes…
But instead she just stood there like an idiot.
“That’s what I thought.” Gage turned back around again, dismissing her. “Just go, Lyris.”
Lyris bowed her head before opening the door and walking out. She closed the door behind her. She leaned against it and then jumped away with a yelp when suddenly something crashed against it. A few more things slammed against the door in quick succession.
Lyris backed away. When she turned, she saw everyone was now up and in the front lounge. They all looked at her sadly.
She wasn’t in the mood to face anyone or talk. So, she slid into her bunk, closed the curtain, and put her headphones on. She pulled up her music player on her phone, pressed play, and turned up the volume. She turned on her side and let the tears fall to her pillow.
~~~
Gage threw his leather-bound lyrics journal at the door. His headphones. Shoes. Anything that would make him feel better.
After last night, he’d thought that they were moving towards something. She’d melted in his arms. She’d found comfort and solace with him. He’d admitted that he loved her. She said as much back in her sleep. He’d felt it was a turning point. And that they were now moving in the right direction.
So, when she’d turned and given him her cheek instead of the kiss he’d expected, she might as well have kicked him in the stomach. That’s what it felt like. A kick to the gut. And then his heart being torn in two.
She’d once again erected that wall of ice around herself. The vulnerability she displayed the night before was gone. Gage couldn’t keep trying to bust it down. His knuckles were starting to bleed from the effort. He couldn’t keep getting rejected. It felt like he was back in school again. When all the girls he liked ignored him or brushed him off.
He was hurt and humiliated. Something he’d hoped he was done with after suffering for so many years. He’d cracked open his chest too many times to show her his heart. He wouldn’t do it again.
Gage bent forward and slid his fingers into his hair and gripped his head.
“I am so done.”
Philly. New York. Atlanta. Miami. Four cities. Two weeks. Countless miles. And Gage still refused to speak to Lyris. He wouldn’t even look at her.
The only time he acknowledged that she existed was when they were on stage during the duet. The first night they performed after their falling out, Lyris thought he’d forgiven her. On stage he was passionate. Intimate. It was like the last show in Chicago. He seemed so into her.
But they’d walked off stage and she’d turned to smile at him. Gage looked at her with a straight-face and zero warmth in his eyes and walked right past her.
That had cut like a knife.
He let groupies hang on him, which he’d never done before. He went off to private rooms with them. He brought them onto the bus and disappeared into the back lounge. Once they were checked into their hotel in each city, he’d bring girls back to his room after a show. Lyris felt sick to her stomach every time she saw him with another woman hanging off him.
On the bus, he acted as if she wasn’t there. He joked and laughed with the band, but not her. Everyone looked at her with sympathy. A few of them had tried to talk to him, but he’d snapped on them. As far as Gage was concerned Lyris was in the dead zone.
She chatted with Brandi and Rainey, but for the most part the past two weeks had been very lonely. He shut her out and since he was the leader of their particular rabble, she was shut out the family.
Lyris called Serena and Sebastian whenever she could. But they both seemed distant. Lyris had a feeling her newfound fame might have had something to do with it.
That was actually one thing that hadn’t changed. Her rising star was still soaring. She reached a couple of million followers on all of her social media. Her MusicCloud page was flooded with love.
Rumors of a love affair between her and Gage were beginning to take hold as well. Especially, amongst black women. Other demographics didn’t see it because why would they? No one expected the plus-size, black woman to get the sexy popular guy. Nowhere in the media was that portrayed. So, the only group of people who noticed were the ones who knew the worth of a voluptuous black woman. It was those women who showered her with the most love and positivity.
Lyris felt the love and warmth in her online life. And the scorn and icy chill in her waking life. It was hard to enjoy the one because of the other.
Even now, when she was supposed to be ecstatic, Lyris couldn’t fully enjoy it. They were on a plane to Brazil. It would be her first time leaving the country. She’d always wanted to travel, but she’d never had enough money. Or when she did, she didn’t have the nerve to go without someone. And either her friends didn’t want to travel or they could never come together to decide when, where, and for how much. Everyone was always on different pages, so they just never left to go anywhere.
Lyris was about to check another dream off her bucket list, and yet she was depressed. And it was of her own making.
The jet landed in Rio. They grabbed their things and headed towards t
he exit. They were going to be in Brazil a little longer than the other cities. Gage wanted to spend time with his parents and it would be a little vacation for everyone else before they started the European leg of the tour.
As they made their way to the doors and the people waiting for family and friends, Lyris saw an older couple that looked familiar. The man was holding up a sign that said ‘Walker,’ as if he was the driver come to pick someone up.
Lyris realized where she’d seen them before when a massive smile spread across Gage’s face. It was his parents.
Gage ran up and was embraced by the beautiful older couple. Lyris felt her chest tighten. Her parents hadn’t been uber affectionate as she grew up. But she did miss the love of family. She blinked rapidly until the sting of tears were under control.
The rest of the band walked up to his parents. It was apparent that they’d all met before.
“You all look so good!” His mother clasped her hands in front of her and she gazed at them. Her accent was thick but still easy to understand.
Adriana Walker was gorgeous. Her skin was medium brown. The silky, dark hair of her youth was now almost all snow white, which she kept cut short in a sassy cut. Her heritage was obviously Native and Portuguese, African and Portuguese, or possibly even all three.
Eyes that were nearly identical to Gage’s found and stayed on Lyris.
“I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting this beautiful young lady,” his mother said as she came forward.
She held out her hands to Lyris. “I’m Adriana, Gage’s mother.”
“Hi, I’m Lyris. His newest backup singer.” Lyris said as she clasped hands with his mother.
Warmth spread through Lyris as the woman held her hands. It was comforting.
Adriana turned and looked at Gage, “Is this the one you were talking about?”
Gage looked embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck and gave his mom the look.
“Ma, seriously.”
Adriana released Lyris and held up her hands. “Sorry! Excuse me for living.”
