by Cee Bowerman
I let him pull me into his chest, and I cried on him until his shirt was wet, until all of a sudden, the tears just dried up and I was outraged again.
“Do you have to hold me so tight? You’re squishing my boobs and they already hurt.” I pushed away from him and got even angrier at the wide-eyed shock on his face.
“Code. Red.”
I watched Rowdy stomp through the kitchen and out the door, probably headed to the barn to talk shit about me to the horses while he worked out his anger cleaning tack.
“Mom?” I heard Leia say softly from the mouth of the hall. I looked over and she and Lexi were standing together holding hands - they had both been crying. I instantly felt horrible for arguing like that where they could hear. Actually, I already felt horrible for yelling at Rowdy for such a trivial thing in the first place.
“Girls, come here,” I held my arms out and they walked into the and wrapped theirs around me. “I’m sorry you had to hear us arguing. We shouldn’t have done that or even let it get that out of hand. I know once your dad calms down, he’ll feel the same way.”
“You have been extra picky lately,” Lexi said softly. “It’s like none of us can do anything right. I don’t understand it. I’ve never seen you act that way.”
“I’ve been different?”
“Yeah,” Leia said. “A little.”
“I still have that bottle of Midol in our bathroom. It really helped when I was super cranky that time. Do you want some?”
I tilted my head, trying to figure out why I had been so irritable.
Everything ached. My body was just tired. And sore. My boobs were so tender it hurt to put on my bra in the morning and it hurt to take it off at night. One minute I was giddy, the next I wanted to cry.
Oh. Oh, no.
“Lex, when was your last period? When did it start?”
“We always start at the same time now or within a day or two of each other.”
“No, really. When?”
“Um, you had to take me for tampons when I started because Leia had used the last one. That was the night before competition, so three weeks ago?”
I hadn’t had a period that one time, even though I had taken the green pills. I remember thinking that was odd. I’d meant to call my doctor, but never got around to it, figuring that it must be the stress of the girls’ birthday party planning.
The next month was just a little spotting and I was actually glad because I had a lot going on with Halloween coming up. I didn’t want to have to deal with cramps and was excited to go to the fair they had for Martha and Smokey Forrester’s anniversary.
And I’d missed my last period now, too. I hadn’t noticed because the doctor called in a different prescription than he usually did and the pills looked different. I remember thinking I should have started, but then thought it was something to do with the prescription being a different brand.
Lexi squeezed me a little tighter and the angle she was at squished my breast the wrong way and caused me to flinch.
Oh. My. God.
“Girls, I’m going to go and talk to Rowdy in the barn for a little bit, okay?”
“Are y’all going to yell some more?” Leia asked me.
“No, baby. I’m going to go out there and apologize for acting like that and tell him I’ll try to control that shit in the future.” I laughed, terrified about what was happening, but I wanted to reassure my girls. “I can’t promise it won’t happen, because that would be a lie. People argue and sometimes they get loud, but then when it’s all over, if it’s worth it, they apologize and try again.”
“That’s what you tell us when we fight,” Lexi laughed.
“It’s sound advice, sweetheart. Now you two head to bed. We’ve got an early day tomorrow. You’ve got to be at the school by seven for that field trip.”
“Love you, Mom,” Lexi said as she pulled away.
“I love you, Mama,” Leia told me and followed Lexi down the hall.
“I love you both. Now give me and your dad some alone time. Go to sleep, and we’ll all start fresh tomorrow.”
◆◆◆
ROWDY
I glanced up from the saddle I was polishing and saw Sierra sitting off to the side on a bale of hay, watching me work. I didn’t say anything, just went back to what I was doing, honestly worried that she was going to start fucking screaming again and then I’d lose my temper and scream right back.
Like we’d been doing for weeks.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” I heard her say softly.
“I’m sorry I yelled back,” I told her. “And I’ll try to quit being so uptight about, well, everything.”
“No. You be you. I married you, quirks and all, and I understand why you’re that way.”
“Hell, I don’t understand why I’m that way.”
“You jumped into parenthood when you had barely hit puberty. Your life was chaos and I blame your dad for that. You had to grow up way too fast because your life was out of control,” Sierra shrugged. “You learned to control the things you can. In the house, when you’re agitated about the girls or something, you sit down and work on your puzzle. Because all the pieces have a spot and they fit. Everything has a specific place and you can make it work. I think that’s why you sculpt. You can make it into anything you want and have absolute control of the outcome.”
“Makes sense,” I shrugged, realizing she was probably onto something. “I like for things to be just right and sometimes I can’t stop myself from making everything just so.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“We scared the girls tonight.”
“Fuck,” I tossed my rag up onto the shelf. “I’m just screwing up right and left, aren’t I?”
“They’re fine. I talked to them.”
“I’ll go in and apologize.”
“Do it tomorrow. I already sent them to bed,” Sierra stood up and walked over to me, the width of the saddle the only thing between us now. “I think I might be pregnant, Rowdy.”
“Really?” I felt my heart start to race and I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. I got lightheaded and grabbed the saddle in front of me. “You’re pregnant?”
“I think so. Maybe.”
“Wow.”
“We talked about it that one time and we even planned for it when we allocated the money, but never really touched on it again. We didn’t resolve anything and I’ve been on the pill, so I didn’t really think about it.”
“I’m happy.”
“You are?” Sierra whispered.
“You’re not?”
“Yeah,” Sierra smiled and reached up to wipe the tears off her face. “I am.”
“We’re both off tomorrow. I’ll take you to the doctor. We’ll find out for sure.”
“Okay.”
“Can I hold you?”
“Please.”
I moved around the saddle and pulled Sierra into my arms for a tight hug. Her body was warm against mine and fit perfectly against me. I imagined that in a few months, her belly would stick out and we’d have to adjust, but I couldn’t wait for that.
“I’m really happy,” I told her as I leaned down for a kiss. “Really fucking happy.”
“I can tell,” Sierra laughed. “I felt that happiness rise exponentially, as a matter of fact.”
“I love you,” I kissed her deeper this time, tilting her head by cupping my hand on the back of her head. Her arms came up around me and I felt her leg lift up to my hips just before she rubbed her sex against me.
I reached down and picked her up by her hips and her legs wrapped around me. I walked us over to the nearest wall and pressed against her as I reached between us to undo my belt and jeans. When I was free, I pulled up the loose skirt she was wearing and yanked at her panties until they ripped. Her mouth was hot on mine and I absorbed her moan as I entered her in one rough thrust.
I worked my way in and out of her for what seemed like forever, the sensati
ons overwhelming, but not quite enough to take either of us over the edge. Still holding us connected, I spun around and rested her ass on the saddle I’d been working on and bent my legs to pump into her at a different angle. I knew I’d hit that spot that made her crazy when her fingernails dug into the back of my neck.
“So fucking beautiful,” I moaned before I took her mouth again. I thrust into her hard and deep, loving her moans and grunts when I bumped her clit on each thrust.
“Just like that,” Sierra whispered. “Yeah, right there.”
I took her instructions and kept my rhythm and angle just the same, silently begging her to find her orgasm so I could join her with mine. After a few more thrusts, I felt her walls flutter around me and knew she was close. Just a few more and she bit down on my shoulder with a scream as she clutched my cock tightly inside her.
I managed just a few more short thrusts before I groaned as my orgasm filled her.
We stayed locked together, both of us out of breath for a few minutes, until Sierra giggled and whispered, “We’re making a mess on this nice, clean saddle you just finished working on.”
“I’ll think of this every fucking time I so much as touch this saddle from now on.” I laughed as I pulled out of her. I left her leaning against the saddle, trying to catch her breath, as I went over to the small sink and wet a paper towel and took it back to her.
I watched as she held her skirt back up and cleaned my release from her body, my cock already starting to come to life.
“Put that beast behind his zipper until we get in the house, big guy,” Sierra laughed. “We’ve got an audience out here and I’d rather be in our bed on top of you the next time I come.”
I glanced to the side and down the main aisle of the barn to see that all nine of our horses had their heads peeking out of their doors and they were watching us intently.
“Perverts,” I admonished the mares with a laugh. Janis, the newest rescue mare that had been so crazy when she came to us, whinnied at me loudly.
“Let’s shut everything off and head to our room.”
“I’m right behind you, baby.”
◆◆◆
“So I’m not pregnant?” Sierra asked her doctor. Her hand was clutching mine and I could tell that she was near tears. “Then what’s wrong with me?”
“Your blood work shows that your hormones are a little off and that might be due to the new prescription we tried this last time,” the doctor told her solemnly. “But as far as I can tell right now, there’s nothing wrong with you, Mrs. Lincoln.”
“Oh, okay,” Sierra whispered as she swiped a tear as it started down her cheek.
“I take it from your reaction that you want to be?”
“I think so,” Sierra glanced at me and I nodded. She smiled brightly at her doctor and confirmed, “Yes. I want to get pregnant.”
“Well, then that’s an entirely different conversation… ,” the doctor said as he turned and picked up Sierra's chart.
I let the doctor’s voice fade into the background as I watched Sierra’s face. Her tears were gone now and had been replaced by a hopeful smile.
We were going to have a baby, just not quite yet.
~*~
ROWDY
Sierra had been off her birth control for a little over three months now and I knew that she was getting antsy waiting for the day she found out for sure she was pregnant. Her hormones had been out of control for the first few weeks after her doctor’s appointment and the girls and I spent a lot of time in the barn together.
It was hard being away from Sierra so much, but it seemed like all we did was argue so I felt like it was better for all of us to stay away. Lexi and Leia ran into the same problem with Sierra a few times and that’s when they started coming out to the barn more and more. Even though I missed being with Sierra, I enjoyed my time with the girls and had fun teaching them new things.
“We should head out if we’re going today,” I told Sierra. I watched her stop pacing and look at me. “Unless you want to go to the next one.”
“No, let’s do this today. No sense putting it off again. Both of us are ready and Reagan has already agreed to pick up the girls and take them to school.”
“How soon before we get the results?”
“We should have them within minutes,” Sierra assured me.
“I’m nervous,” I laughed as I opened the door for her. “Are you?”
“I’m terrified.”
The drive downtown was short and neither of us said much, both absorbed in our own thoughts. When I parked the truck, I reached over and took her hand.
“If something goes wrong, we can just try again.”
“I know,” Sierra smiled. “We’ve got this, Mr. Lincoln.”
“Yes, ma’am. We sure as hell do.”
◆◆◆
Sierra and I were both laughing when we walked through the big metal doors and out into the sunshine. I spun her around and picked her up in my arms, twirling her around a few times just so I could hear her laugh.
“Do you feel better?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she admitted. “I honestly never thought I’d make it. I was so nervous.”
“Me, too,”
“I take it from the uncontrollable smiles and the twirling and shit that the two of you passed?” I heard Marcus yell. I put Sierra on her feet and we both turned toward Marcus’s voice.
Walking across the grass toward us was a group of our friends. Reagan held a bouquet of flowers and I saw that Marcus was carrying a bottle of his good whiskey. Our daughters walked between them and they were both smiling from ear to ear.
“Congratulations, Dad,” Leia yelled as she jumped into my arms. “You did it!”
“We did it!” I smiled at my little girl, proud of myself for once in my life. “You girls helped us study our asses off. I bet you two could go in there and ace that test right now.”
Lexi was arm in arm with Leia and both of them were smiling. Marcus shook my hand and gave me the unopened bottle of whiskey.
“You can open it now or wait and I’ll celebrate with you when you get your next bit of good news.” Marcus knew that Sierra and I were trying to have a baby and he also knew that I was terrified. His offer to sit and drink with me was as much for celebration as it was for me to sit with him to get my head straight once we found out a baby was on the way.
“Thank you, brother,” I told him. “I’ll hold onto this for a while.”
“I’m so proud of you both,” Reagan beamed. “You worked so hard and finally got your GEDs. Are we going to be attending a college graduation for one or both of you someday?”
“I’m thinking of enrolling in a few classes,” Sierra said shyly. “I haven’t decided which ones yet, though.”
“Brenda and I are always looking for an associate we can trust,” Reagan told her. “You should consider getting your real estate license. You can help people find their forever home. It’s actually a very rewarding job.”
“I’ll consider it. I might have to pick your brain a little bit about the details,” Sierra told her friend. “Right now, let’s go and celebrate together with lunch!”
“Wait a second,” I told our little group. “Our girls are skipping school to see that their parents finally got their GEDs because years ago they dropped out of school. Anyone else see an issue with that?”
“Well, we thought it would be good to bring them up here since they helped you first drop out of school and then study to pass this test,” Reagan laughed at his little pun. “Get it? They helped you drop out.”
“That was horrible,” Marcus shook his head. “Fucking horrible.”
The girls and I were laughing and finally Marcus was, too, even though he shot an exasperated glare at his partner first.
“Did you get everything packed up like I told you?” I asked our daughters. When they both nodded, I smiled at them. “You guys have fun this weekend.”
“Fun? Where are they going?”
&n
bsp; “I’ll be honest. I knew they were going to be cutting class today. I already called them out for it. They packed because they’re going to be spending the weekend with Holly while you and I take an impromptu trip out of town to celebrate our good test scores and our first anniversary.”
“I thought you forgot,” Sierra smiled. “I’m so glad you didn’t forget.”
“One of the best days of my life, honey. There’s no way I could ever forget it.”
EPILOGUE
“Look at the progression of the little girl,” I heard the woman whisper to the man next to her. “It’s like watching her grow up.”
“Beautiful,” the man agreed. “But the other girl doesn’t have any as a baby. I wonder why.”
“That’s because my dad didn’t meet me until I was 11,” I said softly from behind them.
“That is you!” the woman exclaimed, glancing from my face to the sculptures I had displayed on the wall.
“Yes, along with my sister Leia,” I confirmed. “Our parents married when we were 11 and my dad adopted me that same year.”
“A father’s love right there,” the man smiled as he looked back at the sculptures my dad had made through the years. “I assume those aren’t for sale.”
“No, they are not,” I laughed softly. “But I do have plenty of pieces around the gallery that are available.”
“The eagle is his?”
“Yes, that’s his work.”
“My wife is interested in the painting in the south room,” the man told me as he started to walk. He stopped at a metal statue right before the wide doorway that led to one of the back rooms. “But I like this. Does this artist do commission work?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact he does. The artist is Jace Duke, you may have seen his pieces around town. He has a few in other areas of the state, too.”
