“Al will probably want to go then too. Kade seemed excited about being there. Tomorrow won’t be so long of a day either. We’re taking a hike in the middle Central Park Area to see all the sights there. After we get back, I need to train.”
Everyone seemed to like my Central Park idea, including Nick.
“I found a place for Nick and Joan to entertain,” Lynn said. “It’s only a couple miles from the hotel, called Brandy’s Piano Bar. What do you think, Nick?”
“Count me in.”
“I will ask Joan. She did bring her violin,” Jian said.
“I assume the night at the museum went smoothly,” Denny said. “Paul called me. He said the authorities will be going through the motions, but the fallout so far has been minimal. Are you going out on the water to lure a shark partner for training, John?”
“Very funny, Spawn.”
“Ah oh.” Nick turned toward the bar, leaning over it behind Jess.
“Cool! The number one assassin in the world takes refuge behind Flo Brown’s little boy, Jess.”
I saw a tall, lanky strange looking dude with glasses and a face only a mother could love. “What’s up, Nick? Is this guy an assassin?”
“That’s Ephram Ring,” Nick answered in a hushed voice. “He must have learned from my publisher where I’m staying.”
I grinned. “I can understand him writing horror novels. I know I look like a Cheeseburger, but if I had to look at Ring’s mug every morning in the mirror, I’d be writing horror stories too.”
The loud amusement by our group checking Ring out, drew his attention. He stomped over in confrontation mode. Only a few inches shorter than me, Ring thought to invade my airspace. I put out the stop sign. One look at the size of my mitt and Ring decided to halt his forward progress.
“What the hell are all you hyenas laughing at?”
“First off… anything we want. Second… none of your business.”
Ring looked startled; but it quickly turned to anger. “Do you know who I am?”
“Yeah… I know who you are. Why should I care?”
He jutted a finger at me like a recalcitrant child. “I know you! You’re the UFC pug that flits around with that writer wannabe, Nick McCarty!”
I heard my cage crew stifling laughter at the pug remark. They know how much I love that label. “Nick’s a friend. So, what?”
“I read about that circus act signing he did with you and a couple of knife-throwing kids. What the hell is wrong with you people? I will be doing a book signing tomorrow, right after your circus act loads up the clown wagon. My signing will be a joke. I want to speak with McCarty and tell him to leave the circus at the fairgrounds!”
Jess noticed my hands clenching. “DL gettin’ ready to snatch a throat, Nick.”
Nick moved away from the bar with a deep breath. “Sorry, John. The guy in front of you who looks like someone’s been beating him with an ugly stick is my problem. Please… don’t kill him.”
“If this pug even touches me, he’ll be in prison by morning!”
“Nope. John would twist your head to an unhealthy angle. The rest of us would chuckle and chortle while carrying your corpse out the door to Central Park. We’d deposit you somewhere nice and come back here to get our buzz on again.”
“How dare you threaten me! I might have known you’d be staying at a Trump possession.”
“If Trump knew your ugly ass was here, he’d make a call to have you thrown out. You are good for business though. When people see that mug of yours, they look away and order another drink.”
Ring pretended to stomp toward Nick, who never flinched an inch. It was clear Ring knew Nick’s special forces credentials. “I’m warning you! Leave the pug and your circus freaks behind when you do the book signing tomorrow.”
Lynn moved over next to Ring with hands on hips. “This guy is so entertaining. He looks like Lurch from the Addams’ family, only not as handsome. Can I keep him, Clint?”
“Hell no… Tonto would howl all night.”
Lynn provided some comedy; but Nick was beginning to get romantic about Ring. Nick grabbed Ring’s arm and propelled him toward the exit. “Get the hell out of here before you wind up in a landfill, dummy. We’ll be clear of the bookstore before you arrive. You made a mistake coming here. Don’t compound it into a death sentence.”
Nick gave him a shove toward the door. Ring felt the power Nick used to control his arm and direction. He was done. Ring left and Nick returned to good-natured abuse. “I know… I know. That was the reason I hid behind Jess. The whacko is so full of himself, he saves his own farts in plastic bags to be smelled later.”
No one could speak after that, including our bartender. Many moments later, our bartender set us up with fresh drinks. “I hate seeing that asshole walk in. He parades around, making fun of our guests for staying in a Trump hotel. Ring is an obnoxious prick. It’s a real pleasure seeing him kicked the hell out.”
Nick slipped him a couple hundred dollars. “Thanks, for not calling security.”
“Are you kidding? I wanted to see the champ here turn him upside down and ram his head into the flooring.”
God… I can’t believe how close his wish came to be true. I toasted him. “It’s best this way. We plan to be through our book signing engagement before Ring ever shows up, right Nick?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Oh hell! Entertainment for our crew requires extraordinary additions,” Lynn said. “That pussy was a hoot. I hope you all appreciated I didn’t tickle his Adam’s Apple with my knife.”
“Thank you, Crue!” The statement from so many of our crew at the same time caught Lynn by surprise. She nodded in acceptance.
“Yeah… I wanted to.”
* * *
“Lynn told me all about your adventures today.” Rachel shuddered as Nick slid his hand along her side. “Did you nearly assassinate yourself?”
“She told you that one too, huh? Yeah… I was in a heap on the floor, playing an old Jewish guy that slipped and fell. I hit the target; but came close to nailing myself in the aftermath.”
“Why didn’t you just drop it… no… wait.” Rachel tried and failed to keep Nick’s hands from manipulating her.
“What kind of assassin leaves behind the murder weapon with his fingerprints on it. I’m fine. See?”
Rachel yelped. “O…okay… you’re fine. What…what about… the Ring confrontation?”
“Um… I promise not to kill him?”
“I…I guess… oh God… Muerto!”
* * *
For a change, we had a delightful book signing for nearly the entire three hours. The kids put on another knife-throwing show, sticking my cardboard poster image like a pincushion. Johnny played my Captain Hook riding and training adventure video. Al had to calm Kade down. The boy clapped and jumped on his chair every time Hook came into view. Ring described our book signing accurately in a way. We were a little like a circus act. The crowd loved us though. We posed for pictures all through the signing because of the short hours. The circus act was a blast until Ephram Ring arrived with three huge bodyguards. He decided to disrupt the end of our good time. A huge crowd of readers and UFC fans hung around after getting books signed, buying other store offerings, and returning to enjoy our show.
Ring laughed at everyone while pointing at Nick. “You people think this man is a writer? McCarty is simply a court jester!”
He did silence the background noise. Ring faced Nick with his goon squad looking ready to rumble. I knew that would be a bad ending for the John and Nick show.
“I see you needed your circus act with you.”
Nick shrugged with a big grin. “We were having a good time until you arrived.”
Loud applause celebrated Nick’s statement, stunning Ring. I could tell he probably couldn’t sleep last night while raging inside his head at the McCarty circus. He didn’t think things through. While Ring may have many horror fans here in Nick’s crowd, they obviously enjoyed
Nick’s Pulp Fiction. Ephram began to understand the only thing he could accomplish here was to look small and petty.
“You are no writer, Sir!”
Nick turned to Jean, sensing she would rip into Ring. He was right, in that Sonny pleaded with her to not join in. Nick’s calming gesture worked. Jean relaxed in her seat with arms folded over chest. Nick turned his attention back to Ring.
“You’re right. As I’ve said many times – I’m a storyteller. Go have a coffee or something until it’s time for your book signing. We’ll be out of here at 1 pm as promised. The only thing you’re doing is ruining the book signing for the rest of these fans, many of whom will be attending your signing too.”
“I believe I will stay right where I am and ridicule this travesty.”
“Suit yourself.” Nick waved the next reader to the table as the store manager watched like a pedestrian witnessing a car wreck.
The next lady in line carried Nick’s three latest novels. Nick signed them all while Ring snorted in disgust. “I love your writing, Nick. Please don’t stop.”
“Thank you. I won’t,” Nick assured her. “I have to appease the voices in my head.”
The next reader, a middle-aged woman in business attire handed Political Sanction to Nick. She leaned forward while he signed it. “What does Ephram Ring have against you?”
“I don’t really know. We’re opposites on the political front and I think he hates my writing.”
Ring heard Nick’s answer. “I don’t hate your rightwing Pulp Fiction garbage. I loathe it. You and your cohort Harding played a huge roll in defeating and jailing many extraordinary liberal California politicians, working hard for the people!”
“There you have it, ma’am. Thank you for coming.”
As we neared the end, Jean sent a text, stating she thought the third one from line’s end was a Fury. The man, with close cropped hair, wearing jeans and a windbreaker, smiled when we looked his way. He reached us a few minutes later, shaking hands with all of us. He handed Nick his copies of Paris in Darkness and Political Sanction.
“I never miss one of your UFC fights, Champ, and I have all your YouTube videos bookmarked. I’m a follower of your channel. My name’s Vern, by the way.”
“Thanks, Vern. Are you here to see the fight at Barclays Center?”
“I sure am. It will be a tough match. Rudo Madaki has a great ground and pound game. His jujitsu moves ended many of his matches.”
“You have a good eye, Vern. It will be a very tough match… just as you say.”
“Good luck, Champ. Mr. McCarty… I think you should write a major incident, killing off Fatima, Jed, Leo and Mann. Put Diego on his own again like at the beginning of the series.”
The live models for those three male characters did not like Vern’s suggestion at all. Gus, Johnny and Jian had a great time talking boats, sharks, being characters in the novels, and US Marshal business. I could tell Vern’s suggestion surprised them a bit, especially when Nick appeared to be considering it.
“Interesting idea, Vern, Diego was always a loner. I’ve grown too fond of Diego’s crew though. I have a lot of fun writing them into the plots.”
“I understand. Nice meeting all of you.” Vern began to walk away when Ring decided to take another verbal shot.
“Why don’t you kill them all off, McCarty. Then, at least, you could claim to be an ex-writer!”
Vern turned to face Ring. “At least he wouldn’t be an ex-alcoholic and ex-drug addict.”
Vern’s retort hit Ring like a thunderbolt, rendering him speechless. Vern gave us a wave and left as security moved into a ready position. Ring must have thought everyone had forgotten his past. Nick finished the signing in an upbeat atmosphere. We quickly gathered our equipment and kids. The manager walked us out, lavishing praise for the most entertaining book signing the store had ever had.
“I hope we can get you back soon, Nick. Cassie told me you don’t often get to visit the East Coast. I want to change that, Sir. Have a great time during the rest of your stay.”
“Thank you. I believe we will.”
Outside the store, many fans followed us, requesting more pictures and conversation. Since the kids enjoyed the attention, we stayed and chatted, posing in all the funny ways suggested. The fan favorite, as always, was me getting clobbered. As our small gathering began breaking up. Ring joined us with his goons. Jean, Sonny, Jay and Al surrounded Kade in defensive positions, with Gus, Johnny and Jian in front of them. Nick and I awaited Ring’s spiel, alert and ready.
“We had a deal, McCarty! No circus act!”
“You gave an order. I ignored it. Go get ready for your book signing. We won’t be there to try and ruin it for you and your fans.”
“One of your fans took an uncalled for cheap-shot at me! Many, waiting for my signing to begin, heard it. That will affect my signing.”
“Do you really think your fans don’t know about your past alcoholism and drug addiction?”
One of the goons reached for Nick, only to get his hand snatched. Nick twisted it until he put the man on his knees. The other two glanced at my smiling face and backed away. At least Ring hired a couple of guys with brains. With his free hand, Nick showed them his Deputy US Marshal credentials.
“I am a Deputy US Marshal. With me are Deputy US Marshals Nason, Groves and Chen. Beside me is FBI Special Agent Harding. Would you all like a nice prison sentence for assaulting federal officers? We can and will arrange it.”
Nick pushed the goon onto his back, pointing at him. “Get up and back off. Get stupid and get dead. I won’t warn you twice.”
Nick’s easy handling of Ring’s much larger minion seemed to cool Ring off. “Go away, Ring. We’re not even competitors. Forget this stupid vendetta and go about your business. I’m happy you’re off the booze and drugs. Now, go… unless you want something more physical with me.”
“No,” Ring backed away. “I’m done but I won’t forget this.”
“Well… bye.”
Ring spun and reentered the store with his minions.
“Damn entertaining book signing, Nick,” I told him. “It was almost as entertaining as feeding Captain Hook.”
“Thanks, DL.”
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“That is of no matter.”
Chapter Eleven
Brutal Sights and Fights
As usual, the women thought the kids would love the Central Park Zoo. They didn’t. The Monsters and Unholies didn’t like it either. Nothing in cages appeals to kids and thinking adults. Before the age of high definition videos and pictures, a zoo probably filled in some educational limitations. I’m sure there were fans of caged creatures; and I knew they couldn’t be returned to the wild anyway. The Lake, Cherry Hill, Shakespeare’s Garden and Belvedere Castle were hits with all of us. The high fifties temperature with sunshine made the late November day comfortable. The hiking in Central Park fulfilled hoped for expectations. The kids scampered around under our watchful eyes.
We split up at times in the garden and scenic parts of the park. Because the older kids wanted to be together, Lora, Kade and I hiked around with Nick, Rachel and Quinn. Kade liked toddling along with Quinn, showing him stuff and helping Quinn get back on his feet when the younger boy lost his balance. As usual, menacing looking as I am at my size, we were near the lake when half a dozen odd looking figures approached in wide brimmed hats and long tan coats.
“I read about these guys on the internet. The article said they’re fake monks that go around conning people out of money – you know… panhandlers,” Rachel explained.
“Who in their right mind would approach you?” Lora asked. “As you’ve admitted many times, you look like a bridge ogre.”
“Gee… thanks, babe.” She was right about me though.
Jean saw the group and raced her crew back to watch Quinn and Kade. Nick and I again faced off with the six panhandlers while Lora sent up the bat signal.
“We’re collectin
g money for our monastery,” the lead fake monk said.
“The internet said you’re fakes,” Rachel said. “Believe me, although these two could go through you six like ten pins at the carnival, more will be arriving you do not want to mess with.”
“Just give us some money and we’ll be on our way.”
Before Nick or I could answer, Monsters and Unholies arrived at a dead run. Of course, the jokes started the moment they arrived and surrounded the six stunned panhandlers.
“What the hell, Recon? You and Delta Dawn can’t handle these six ragamuffins?” Lucas started off the razzing.
Lynn began a butterfly knife exhibition that effectively got the panhandlers on the run. She waved. “Wait… come back! Was it something I said?”
“We’re hungry, DL,” Casey said. “If you’re all done annoying the natives, let’s go eat.”
“I’m with you. Remember, Nick’s entertaining at the piano bar tonight. We have four great babysitters. Jean already volunteered her crew of Sonny, Jay and Al to watch the little ones. Both Jean and Al have babysat before. They’ll watch movies and eat popcorn. Our suite is huge. I will have Jafar set up a network. We’ll be able to keep them on audio and visual. I’ll monitor the network on my tablet, so no one need worry. Brandy’s Piano Bar is only a couple miles away.”
“I am so ready for a night of dancing,” Lynn said. “Joan’s here to accompany Muerto. I wonder what the New Yorkers will think of you two professionals.”
“Don’t get your hopes up,” Nick said. “Many of them voted in Assio-Warez.”
“Point taken.”
* * *
Nick and Joan finished a last set to thunderous applause. We Monsters and Unholies danced the night away without once offending anyone. It seemed like a miracle. In between dances, Lora and I checked my tablet for any concerns with the kids and babies. Kade turned out to be the comedian of the group. Each time he walked by one of the cams he saw me install, he would put on his Batman mask with only his underwear on. Since Halloween, Kade and the Batman mask were inseparable. Nothing prepares you for a first-time sighting of underwear Batman. I nearly blew beer through my nasal passages. While being pounded on the back by an overzealous Lucas, everyone was treated to underwear Batman. Al tried to get underwear Batman to put on his pants; but Kade would immediately strike a karate defense pose when Al approached with the pants.
Hard Case 12: Climate of Chaos (John Harding) Page 23
