by Gabrielle G.
Always & Only
Angels and Sunshine Series 1
Gabrielle G.
Always & Only, Copyright ©2019 by Gabrielle G. All rights reserved.
Cover Design: Sarah Hansen - Okay Creations
www.okaycreations.com
Cover Photography : ©dor-riss - ©Robert Daly
Editor: Cassie Robertson - Joy Editing www.joyediting.com
Proofreading: Kelly Stone Gamble - Joy Editing
Logo: Tanya Cloetta
Heart Logo & Name: Lisa Boucher (www.instagram.com/lisatattoos)
No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means including electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written consent of the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, band names, incidents are the product of the author imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author pr publisher.
Disclaimer: This book contains explicit mature content and language and is intended for adults ages 18+.
Created with Vellum
Contents
Foreword
Introduction
Playlist
1. Julie
2. Ian
3. Julie
4. Julie
5. Ian
6. Julie
7. Julie
8. Ian
9. Ian
10. Julie
11. Julie
12. Julie
13. Ian
14. Julie
15. Ian
16. Julie
17. Ian
18. Julie
19. Ian
20. Julie
21. Julie
22. Ian
23. Julie
24. Julie
25. Ian
Epilogue
About the Author
Merci etc.
Also by Gabrielle G.
Foreword
As I was binge reading through life, I realized there are not many love stories with characters around 40... Because that's my age, I started to feel a little cougarish reading romance novels highlighting YA. I know that's when you're supposed to find love but what about after separation or a death? What if you never found love in the first place? What happens when you're a mother of an adult child or several young ones or even worse, a teenager (insert eye roll), and you want to find love again?
I'm happily married, but some men and women in this age group are starting the dating game again and it isn't easy. So I decided to write stories of men and women falling in love around forty. Would I write YA or Young Pro? Never say never, right? Is it stupid to reduce it to a certain age? Indeed, but that's what I'm having fun with. Are you going to like it? I hope so.
Introduction
Warning: The perfect guy comes with a pinch of kink and Julie could be seen as a pain. Swearing is a must and being a mess is a prerogative.
Julie Legg thought she would marry hot country singer Paul Hoffman until every news outlet in the country reported on his numerous infidelities. In the span of a few weeks, she became the center of the latest scandal. As she tries to pick up the pieces of her heart and lick her wounds, she meets Ian Porter, newest sexiest man alive, Golden Globe and Emmy Award winning actor, and perfect guy with a knight in a shining armor syndrome. Loving him should be easy—except Julie is confused by her feelings for her best friend, Ryan Marley, Oscar-worthy actor, who needs her in his spiraling downfall.
Julie: He’s the newest Sexiest Man Alive. I’m the most cheated-on woman in Hollywood and my life is a PR nightmare. It can’t work.
Ian: All I want is a chance to show her that I am what she needs. I’ve waited for years and I won’t give up, even if it means being tangled in all her drama. Some women are worth the wait.
Playlist
I can’t write without music. It helps me create my characters, immerse myself in their heads, understand their feelings, and create an atmosphere for some scenes.
So I made you a playlist for Ian & Julie’s story.
Always & Only Soundtrack
Step by Step - NKOTB
Meant to Be - Bebe Rexha feat. Florida Georgia Line
Something’s Got A Hold On Me - Etta James
When I was Your Man - Bruno Mars
Deja Vu - Beyoncé, Jay Z
Best Friend - Sofi Tukker, NERVO
Don’t Speak - No Doubt
Cryin’ - Aerosmith
Make You Feel My Love - Adele
Like a Hobo - Charlie Winston
Can’t Help Falling in Love - Haley Reinhart
Sunny - Bobby Hebb
Behind the scenes: While I was writing the scene between Ian and Ryan in Ian’s trailer (Chapter 6), my daughter was incessantly playing (and singing) “When I Was Your Man” on the piano. That’s how the dialogue came into my mind, and for days afterward, I sang “I should have thoroughly fucked her when I had a chance” instead of “I should have given you all my hours when I had the chance.” This song will never sound the same to me… ever…
To all of those who think the world revolves around them, until it does because someone loves you, and it doesn’t anymore because you love someone more than yourself.
1 Julie
“Come on, Jules, come to my party tonight! I haven’t seen you in weeks. You’ve cried all the tears in the world and been a recluse, even if we all chose your side. It’s time to take off your sweatpants, swallow your pride, and get the fuck out of your misery!”
I mentally puke at my best friend’s words. He isn’t wrong, but facing so many people who know Paul cheated on me is hard. Since the news hit the gossip pages, I’ve been a shadow of myself, staying in my sweats all day long and refusing to talk to anyone. I'm also late on every project I should be delivering. But since everybody knows my story, I’m not sorry for ignoring my deadlines.
“Jules, I am not kidding. I will leave my own party and drag you here by your ugly clothes.”
I sigh heavily, my throat tightening and tears filling my eyes. “Look, I appreciate it but—”
“Nope. Seven p.m., I’ll be there!” Ryan hangs up.
I met Ryan through my ex-boyfriend. I don’t remember how they met, but I know that the first time I spoke to Ry, we laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. We’ve never been interested in each other romantically though. He’s one of the most likable, handsome, and sexiest men I know, but we never felt that way about each other. Or maybe he doesn’t find me attractive. Never asked him…
When pictures of Paul's dick lodged in a wannabe actress's mouth surfaced for the first time, Ryan stood by me. He picked up the pieces of my bleeding heart and became my best friend. But do you think that was the end of my relationship with Paul? Of course not, because I’m the stupidest woman in the world. I believed his lies, I trusted again, and now I’m the biggest, dumbest, most cheated-on person in America. Paul knows it, I know it, everybody knows it. Thank God my parents are dead and I have no family left to witness my shameful embarrassment. As hard as I would have tried, I couldn’t have kept them from seeing the press titles these past few months:
“Paul Hoffman and his Baby Mama. Did Julie Legg Know?”
“Five Years and Counting. Is This Why Paul H. Never Proposed?”
“Paul Admits to Having Cheated on Julie Legg with More Than Ten Women.”
“Is Paul’s Career Finished?”
“Julie Legg Still Close to Her BFF. Ryan Marley Responsible for the Breakup?”
“Is Julie Legg so Bad in Bed t
hat Paul Needed to Get Laid Somewhere Else?”
Ridiculous, right? I’m the butt of the joke. So going to Ryan’s for a party is a big deal, but I know I have to show my face or he’ll lose his shit on me. To him, Paul is the one who should be hiding. The super sexy country singer should be ashamed of himself.
Guess what?
He. Is. Not.
I’m the one with shame as company. The one who knows I owe him my connections and my career as a writer and producer. The one who knows I’m shit without him.
Lying on my couch, I weigh my options. It’s three in the afternoon. I have four hours to get ready. Nervously looking at my phone, I want to call Ryan and say I can’t do it. I can’t get past my humiliation.
My phone chimes as a text from Ryan blows up my screen.
Ryan: Sweetie, get your head out of your ass. I’m picking you up in 15. Don’t shower; you’ll do it at my place. I bought you clothes and Joana’s makeup artist/hairdresser friend will be here too. Don’t stress it.
Ryan has never known public embarrassment. His beautiful girlfriend is carrying their son, who will undoubtedly be the most handsome infant on the planet. He met Joana, an assistant producer for reality TV, while filming a crap movie. She was passing by his set to hang out with her makeup/hairdresser friend, and it was love at first sight. One year later, she’s due in a few months, and I’m standing in line to be a depressed fairy godmother—but godmother nonetheless.
What the tabloids are saying about Ryan and me is bullshit. We’re like brother and sister, and Joana saw that right away. She’s never been jealous of me. Paul, on the other hand, was fifty shades of green. We had fight after fight about my relationship with Ry. He was sure Ryan and I had something going on. Unquestionably because Paul was the cheating liar.
I’m still on my couch, thinking of Paul’s dick dipping in all kinds of women, when my doorbell rings. Pretty sure my fifteen minutes are up.
I open the door for Ryan, wondering why he’s not using his key. But when I swing open the door, the Sexiest Man Alive is behind it. Ian Porter, Emmy and Golden Globe Award winner for his role as a single dad on TV. Over six feet of handsomeness, with light brown hair falling over gold-hazelnut eyes, is facing me. His full pink lips are moving, but I’m mesmerized by his short beard and can’t hear a word he’s saying. I blink and blink again as if that will turn up the volume of his voice.
“Julie? Ryan said I should pick you up.”
Only your BFF can embarrass you more than your ex.
I close my eyes and shake my head, acutely aware that I haven’t showered in two days. My hair is in a greasy bun, and I’m wearing clothes that reek of sweat and fried chicken. I might even have food on my face. Not that I want to impress Ian, but I would prefer him not to see me as the post-breakup slob I have become.
“Where… where’s Ryan?” I can’t say hi like a normal human being; I can’t look him in the eyes. I can’t process why my friend would send the most perfect creature on earth to my door after having told me not to shower. Appreciating the piece of art that he is, I stare, drooling like I would if staring at the statue of David—but I pray to all the gods that Ian is packing bigger junk.
“He’s in the car. We were having coffee when he decided to pick you up, so he asked me to come up and get you.” He sounds so casual. He must have a cold to not be able to smell me.
“Okay… let me change, and I’ll be right back.”
Ian is still in the front hallway. “No can do. My instructions are clear. Take your keys and wallet and let’s go. You know how Ryan gets when he doesn’t get what he wants. Follow me.”
Jeez, he’s sexy! His smile illuminates his whole face, shining light on the most precious dimples I’ve ever seen. And yes, dimples can be precious.
Hypnotized by his beauty, I follow him without wallet and keys in my hand.
“Julie?” Ian says, looking confused.
“Yeah?” I answer absently. His voice has enchanted me.
“You need shoes.”
Looking down, I see my ugly toes. Ryan won’t leave it alone if he knows I forgot to put on shoes. Closing my eyes, I mutter in a broken voice, “Please don’t tell Ryan. I can’t stand another lecture today about how I should let it go.”
“Okay, Jules. Your secret is safe. Let’s put shoes on and meet the man.”
After I find some flip-flops, I follow Ian, dragging my feet.
“What took you so long, man? Did she give you a hard time?” Ryan asks, as if I’m not there.
Ian glances at me with an amused look. “She couldn’t find shoes. Take the front seat, Jules, I’ll sit in the back.”
When I sit in the passenger seat, Ryan puts his hand on my knee while pulling out of my driveway. “Let’s go party, sweetheart, and show that dipshit you can live without him!”
And that is how—smelly, disgusting, and dressed like a good-for-nothing slob—I drive to my best friend’s party with two of the sexiest men on earth.
I do have the best best friend in the world. For a guy, he did super well for me. He bought me a magnificent dress with a red bustier, wrapped at the waist but flowy at the bottom, and it falls above my knees. Exactly what I would have chosen. Ryan even bought me underwear and jewelry to match the dress, and he paired it with beautiful beige Louboutin shoes. The outfit complements my brown hair, olive skin, and dark brown eyes to perfection. Joana’s friend did my hair as flowy as the dress and applied light nude makeup. I do feel better than I did in my sweatpants. I almost feel sexy. I love Ryan more than fried chicken right now.
“Jules! Come show me!” he screams from his bedroom. When I step in, he scrutinizes my outfit with a devilish smile and proud eyes. “Fuck, what a transformation from the bum Ian brought back from the dead! You are splendid, sweetheart. Come hug me now that you don’t smell like a trash can.”
Ryan takes my hand, pulls me into one of his bear hugs, and kisses the top of my head. “Now, sweetie, how did you feel when Ian was at the door and you were looking like Ursula had spat you out?”
“Embarrassed,” I mumble.
“But did you survive?”
I push away and look into his amused eyes. I know exactly what he did. Anger rises. “You asshole! That was one of your stupid lessons? I can’t believe it. You send one of the most handsome men in the world to my door after telling me not to shower to teach me a lesson? Who the fuck does that?”
“Handsome man, huh?” Ryan laughs. “Fuck if only I’d known, I would have sent him three weeks ago!”
“Fuck you!” I say, grabbing his nipple through his shirt.
“Ah! Get a girl a dress, and she pinches your nipple! Come on, sweetheart, the party is about to start. Let’s go meet Joana and my guests.”
Holding my hand and squeezing it slightly, Ryan leads me to the stairs. When I reach the landing, all eyes turn on me, and I see pity radiating from each look.
“Don’t give a shit, sweetie. I’m here, Jo is here, and you can count on Ian too,” Ryan says in my ear.
Once we reach the bottom of the stairs, Ryan lets go of my hand and greets his guests, and I get swallowed up by people I’m acquainted with. Each of them asks how I feel, as if my Chihuahua died or my Botox injection went wrong.
I finally reach the bar and grab a champagne flute, impatient to drink some of my favorite liquid courage, when a steady hand takes it from me.
“I don’t think so. What have you eaten in the last month?”
I turn to see Ian in a fitted cobalt shirt and dark blue jeans. A jolt of desire drenches my panties without warning.
“Ice cream?” I cringe and bite my lower lip.
“So no alcohol for you. You need food first. Real food.”
I’m not sure why Ian thinks he’s my guardian, but since Ryan is watching me like a hawk, I presume Ian is the better option of the two evils. I cross my arms. “Can I have sparkling water then please?”
Ian’s eyes drop to my cleavage and go quickly back to my eyes, making me se
lf-conscious of my exposed skin. I used to be confident and loved my body, but months of media dissecting my every move have me wrapping my left hand around my right shoulder to hide myself the best I can.
“Of course. You look beautiful, by the way,” he adds, smiling.
“You mean you prefer this dress to the garbage-smelling hobo clothes my friend let me leave the house in? Well, thank you. I appreciate your taste in women’s fashion.”
“I didn’t say you were less beautiful before. I’m saying this dress fits you perfectly.”
I’ve got the nagging feeling Ryan asked Ian to build my self-esteem tonight. The thing is, when I’m not depressed but not in my element either, I can be a little bitchy. “Look, I don’t know what Ryan asked you to do or what the heck you want, but I am not ready to hear anything like that right now. I’m trying to endure this party where all the guests are looking at me like I’m a poor little thing. I don’t need self-esteem building or whatever you think you’re doing, so please don’t say those words to me.”
Ian shrugs and hands me my sparkling water. “Okay then…”
