Always & Only (Angels and Sunshine Book 1)

by Gabrielle G.

  Ian is standing at the end of the bed, and I bring my face next to his crotch, hoping I can put my lips around it. Unfortunately, Ian has another idea. He turns me around so he can have a better view of my ass.

  “For this to work, sunshine, you have to listen and do exactly as I say. You have to also know that your safety is my priority. Do you need a safe word? With what I’m about to do, you shouldn’t need one, but just in case, do you want one?”

  “No, if you say it won’t hurt, I’m okay,” I say with bravado I didn’t know I had.

  Ian gently pushes my face into the mattress and opens up my legs. Bringing my arms on each side of my body, he ties each of my wrists to an ankle in a soft knot. My butt is exposed in this position, but all I feel are the ropes flowing around me.

  “Are you okay, sunshine?”

  I mumble a yes in the pillow, concerned Ian can’t understand me, but he seems to. He traces my ass slowly with a fingertip. I try to bring my body closer to his, but he stops me.

  “Patience, sunshine. I will make you come.” His fingers come back to me, but they’re now caressing me and dipping into the wetness of my panties. He slides two fingers inside me abruptly and I jerk forward, not expecting him to enter me so fast. “So ready… I need to take these off of you.”

  Without an extra word, he tugs my underwear and rips them into pieces. I squeeze my legs together.

  Ian brings his mouth to my ear. “Relax!”

  His hands massage my butt cheeks, and his thumbs are grazing my back hole in a circular movement. Pleasure builds inside me and I beg Ian to go deeper, to push inside me. But he stills his hands and holds me tight. I can feel his warm breath close to me, and I implore him again. Slowly, the tip of his tongue brushes my pussy and continues back. As his tongue reaches my back entrance, I feel his fingers entering my pussy and bending inside me, applying a sweet pressure to my wall. The wave of pleasure taking over me makes me cry his name. I didn’t think he would do so much so fast.

  All of a sudden, I feel coldish liquid falling on my lower back and I freeze.

  “It’s lube, sunshine, I got you.”

  I have no idea where the bottle came from, but I enjoy how Ian’s fingers have left my pussy to swirl around my ass, drawing on my cheeks, and sliding in. Bending his finger, he presses slightly, not going inside me just yet. He flattens his tongue and drags it from my bottom to my clit without touching it. It drives me insane. I feel at his mercy, my limbs immobilized by the ropes, my neck crooked on the pillow. My whole vulnerability exposed with the kinkiest doggy-style I ever experienced.

  His tongue moves slowly in an up and down motion, building a ball of fire in my belly while his fingertip circles its way in. I moan, groan, and express myself in all kind of noises.

  He continues teasing me for what seems an eternity, never stopping but never giving in totally. When his finger finally pushes in, he bites my clit at the same time. As I ride Ian’s finger, his mouth nibbles on my pussy. I can’t stop to beg him to go deeper, to fuck me, to take me whole.

  A tsunami takes over, riding up my spine. Goose bumps break all over my body. I spasm in waves and my nipples get harder, more sensitive. I shake violently before wanting to collapse but not being able to because of the ropes, Only now do I feel the weight of the ropes on my body.

  Breathless, my first reaction is to reach for Ian, but I can’t. What happened is too intense. Tears fill my eyes and flow down my face. I’ve never come so hard and so fast before and feel powerless at the same time.

  Ian comes closer, swallowing each cry with kisses before untying me. “I think this is enough for the first time. Did you like it?”

  I’m spent, but I truly loved it.

  “Sunshine? Answer me!”

  I nod quickly.

  “Next time, afterward, I’ll let you ride me and the control will be yours.” He pulls me into his arms and rubs my wrists slowly, dropping sweet kisses where the ropes left marks. “I love the dent it leaves on you. It’s like showing the world you are mine.”

  I sigh. It takes all of the energy left in me to tremble my next words. “Do you need me to take care of you?”

  He shakes his head and holds me tightly against his chest. “No need, sunshine, rest. Thank you for giving me all of you. Whatever boundaries we are crossing, never forget that I love you.”

  I fall asleep content and satisfied, my heart beating wildly, but I ignore Ian’s declaration. In my experience, fantastic sex always trumps love.

  17 Ian

  “So once your ends are all tied up, it shouldn’t be too hard to get the last authorization…” The voice of the second assistant from the left, or whoever this kid is, fades into white noise.

  Images of Julie tied up on my hotel bed flood my mind. Her pearly white ass perked up. Her flushed face and engorged pussy. My fingers entering her. My tongue tasting her. My teeth on her clit. Her screams. Her licentiousness. Her trust. My painful erection. My restlessness. My blue balls.

  I couldn’t have her this morning after untying her. She was too spent. When I saw the range of emotion she went through, from fulfilled to scared, I had to comfort her. I already had stayed awake most of the night, waiting for her to stir so I could tell her about my rope habits, but she slept through. When I finally woke up this morning, I couldn’t wait any longer.

  She fell back asleep a few seconds after I told her I loved her, and I’m pretty sure that’s why she fled later in the morning while I was snoozing. I was so in the moment of comforting her and making sure she was all right, so she would let me bind her again, that I told her how I felt.

  When we met for lunch, I decided not to say a word about my feelings. First of all, because I’m not the kind of man who discusses his feelings and the why and how she didn’t say it back. My life is already a freaking telenovela. I won’t make it a romcom by being a man in sync with his emotions. Second of all, it’s not the end of the world. Do I hope I can build something with Julie? Yes. Do I want to commit to her? Yes. Do I love her? Yes. But mostly right now, I want to fuck her. Let me rephrase that—I need to fuck her.

  Getting back to the situation this morning, I was glad she even showed up at lunch when I asked her by text to join me. However, she had a hard time meeting my eyes.

  I went straight to the point, “Why did you leave?”

  She still wouldn’t look at me. “I needed to shower and change my clothes. I didn’t want to be late.”

  “Bullshit, sunshine. Look at me.” I knew my words would make her squirm. I saw how she reacted to my dominating tone. She got wetter with every command. “Look at me, Jules!”

  She slowly raised her eyes to meet mine. They were full of shame and uncertainty, but there was a flick of desire. I was so hard looking at her, I couldn’t function.

  I took her hand. “You don’t have to be ashamed of what happened. This is between you and me, and it’s a very private matter. Sunshine, if you keep biting your lips that way, I will fuck you on the table.”

  Her eyes changed from guilt to lust, and she licked her lips instead of biting them nervously. A deep guttural sound came from me when I saw her tongue peeking through her lips.

  I was ready to pounce. All I wanted was to get my cock inside her and feel her clench around me. I didn’t care where I was anymore as long as I could take her.

  Of course, my phone rang when I was about to make my move, and I had to step away. I went to the meeting with an empty stomach and full balls.

  Stop looking at me like that. Jules’s text brings me back to the reality of the boring meeting I’m not listening to.

  Me: Like what?

  Julie: Like you want to fuck me.

  I look at her across the table. She did all she could to not sit next to me, which I thought was a good idea thirty minutes ago. Having her close to me, I would want to touch her. Her hair is in a ponytail I want to tug. Her breasts are hidden under a light, flowy blouse and a curved burgundy jacket. Black skinny jeans cover her legs. She lo
oks delicious. Her smile curves when she realizes she has my attention. The pen she was using for doodling is now in her mouth. She pretends she’s deep in thought, swirling her tongue around the torture instrument she holds like a cigarette. Then her lips push it slowly out until her mouth becomes pouty. She continues the same movement a few times until her eyes land on mine. There’s no doubt that she’s eye-fucking me now. I guess breakfast left her a little hungry after all.

  Me: I want to fuck you. Especially that luscious mouth of yours. What I wouldn’t give for my dick to be a pen right now. But a big, thick one of course.

  Her chuckles harden my dick a little more.

  “The problem I see is if it becomes too wet, then it might be a little rough-and-ready, but we can manage.”

  Me: What is that kid talking about? I text Jules. My head is spinning. I’m imagining her sucking me, her wet pussy on my mouth as I take her a little more roughly than usual. I need to leave this room, but if I get up now, everybody will see the tent I’m pitching in my pants.

  Julie: Didn’t I tell you the movie was porn?

  Me: Bondage, hard-on, wetness, and rough. I recognize your style sunshine.

  Julie’s blush would make a virgin proud. The kid is still speaking about God knows what when I decide I’ve had enough and need to be inside Julie now. Tent in my pants or not.

  “I am sorry, ladies and gentlemen,” I say, standing, “but Julie and I have another meeting. I believe we’re now getting into details, and our team can take care of it.” Turning to Julie, I add, “Let’s go, sunshine, we can’t be late.”

  Once we’re in the corridor, I take her hand and make her speed walk.

  “Are you going to dine me before?” Julie teases.

  “No time, sunshine. I’ll get you room service.”

  “I didn’t know you were such a caveman.”

  Throwing back her words from a few months ago, I answer, “You bring out the best in me.”

  After the past few hours, I feel as if my dick was in a car too small for its legs during a twelve-hour road trip with the sexiest temptation next to it.

  “You’re insatiable,” Julie says after another round of delectable sex.

  “Because you’re not, sunshine?” My hand lazily caresses her body. “You know we should be working, right?”

  “We are, aren’t we? If anybody asks, we were in a meeting discussing important matters. It is very important that the writer/producer and director see eye to eye for the movie.”

  I chuckle. This is another thing I love about Julie. How she can find an out in almost every situation. She might seem self-centered and like she’s fucking up a lot, but she’s smart and witty, and she knows how to deal with difficult people. She can handle Dex like no one else in meetings, not caring what he has to say or what he thinks. When Virginia put her on the spot at the club, she owned what she said and walked away her head high. Putting me to shame for having reacted like the asshole I was being.

  “How do you want to do things once we’re back in LA?”

  Her question startles me from my list of things I love about her. “What do you mean?” I sit up on the bed, understanding the seriousness of the conversation.

  “I mean, paparazzi, press, fans. I agreed to date you, but I’m not sure I want to go public.”

  “I said we’ll make it official at the Emmy’s, so don’t worry about all this.” I kiss her softly.

  “Okay but…” She bites her lips. “Can I tell Ry and Anna?”

  “Of course.” I kiss the tip of her nose.

  “Are you going to tell your sister?” So that’s what she wanted to talk about.

  “I know Virge hasn’t been easy or polite, but in her strange ways, all she wants is to protect me.”

  “I don’t have siblings, but Ryan is the closest thing I have to one. In a way, I can understand. I really hope she’s not going to be a problem between us.”

  “She won’t if you don’t break my heart. And I’m pretty sure she already knows.” I kiss the side of her neck.

  “How?”

  “She’s my twin, sunshine. She knows when I’m in love.” I feel her tense beside me.

  “You keep throwing around that word as if it was that easy. I’m not sure I can love again, Ian.”

  “You will. If you love the Habs and their terrible statistics, you can only fall in love with me.” There’s the snort-laugh I love so much.

  “You’re so full of yourself! That’s something I really like about you.” She sends me the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

  “You really like my huge… ego?” I climb on top of her, pushing my hips into her.

  “Ego, dick. Tomatoes, tomahtoes.” She wraps her arms around my neck. “It’s all the same for an actor of your caliber, isn’t it?”

  I laugh, coming in for a kiss. “Huge caliber, sunshine. Everything about me is huge.”

  18 Julie

  Dating Ian Porter should be on the list of the fifty things you should do before you die. When we were in New York, we barely left our bed, except when we had meetings. As we tried to avoid the press, it was a great solution, especially seeing as we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. But even then, he found a way to be sweet, to listen, and to take care of any of my desires. I don’t believe I’m a high maintenance woman, but being someone’s priority is the best. It seems all I want and need is to be taken care of. And then there’s the incredibly hot sex. Why the guy isn’t already married is a mystery.

  Which is what I ask him on this lazy Saturday morning, hanging out on my couch, our feet and legs tangled in each other while trying to decide on a movie.

  “Well, let’s just say I never found anybody ready to put me first,” he says.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean I’ve never been a priority to the ones I really cared about.”

  “Why do you feel that way?”

  He sighs heavily. “Let’s see… first, there were my parents. It was always about Virginia and her drama. I was the reliable one, I guess, and she was the troublemaker. Then my sister left me behind for her boyfriend. I was always fighting with him and saying how he was a bad influence on her… she chose him and didn’t talk to me for all my twenties. Then there was Sheila, the girlfriend I thought was the love of my life. I got a big role. She didn’t. She dumped me right at that moment, saying her career should come first and she wouldn’t be in my shadow. And of course, there’s Dex.”

  “Well, isn’t Dex always on your side?” I ask. “He’s even a little overprotective of you. I mean, even talking to you isn’t easy when he’s around.”

  “That’s because of guilt. For over a decade, he knew where my sister was, knew she had a kid, and never told me. Never. He saw how worried I was. He saw how much money my parents paid to find her. He was even helping them move around when the PI was about to find them because I was stupid enough to confide in him. I’m still friends with him because he assured me he didn’t know she was on drugs and that he was only helping them because she was dating his brother and he didn’t want them to cut ties with both families, but he still chose his brother over me. I was still the second choice. So trusting someone to put me first, believing she’s not here for the money or the glory and who sees me for who I really am, it can make it difficult to find a wife.”

  I’m not sure I understand it all, but now is clearly not the time to play twenty questions. Ian isn’t the knight I though he was. He’s a poor broken soul licking his wounds, and I’m holding water in one hand and salt in the other. I would love to pour the water and clean it all up, but the other hand is shaking and I know I might pour salt on the injury. How can I be sure I don’t make it worse?

  “But you think I’m that girl?”

  He chuckles. “If you were here for the money and the glory, we wouldn’t be browsing through Netflix, trying to find a movie on a Sunday morning. We’d be at the restaurant every celebrity who wants to be seen goes to for brunch. We’d be hanging in my hou
se for you to enjoy every quirk it can provide, like my humongous Jacuzzi bathtub or my home cinema.” His eyes stay on my smaller-size TV, unfazed by what he told me.

  “Is that why we don’t spend time at your house? I thought maybe you were hiding something like a dead body in the freezer or a collection of creepy dolls?” I give him my one raised eyebrow look, the clear sign I’m joking—almost.

  Laughing, he drops the remote and shifts his body so mine is under him. “You telling me you are into me only for my Jacuzzi?”

  “Well, I wasn’t aware I could take a bath in a humongous bathtub and get a massage at the same time. That changes the game,” I tease while running my hand on his back.

  “If you want anything, sunshine, you just have to ask.”

  My heart swells at his words. I believe he will always give me what I want. He has since we started hanging out. He has made me his priority and tried hard to reassure me that what we have is real. He heard my insecurities and my doubts about us and is giving me time going through all my hang-ups, but the Emmy’s are coming up and I can’t say I’m not nervous about jumping back in the circus of flashes.

  “So no women tied up in your basement?”

  “And that’s why you’re the writer. This imagination of yours is incredible. Now if you want me to tie you up in my basement, give me a week to create a dungeon and I’ll find new ways to make you come.”

  The smirk he gives me is one of my favorite things about this man, but his kinky mind is what I prefer. He has pushed my boundaries like nobody else and made me discover a side of me I didn’t know I liked. He’s so sweet, nice, and loving that the other Ian, the one with ropes and control, came as a surprise. But a good one. I love his two sides.

  As if Ryan could feel I’m going into dangerous territory toward feelings and love, his name appears on my screen and I pick up my phone, happy for the distraction. Ian resumes his position, flicking through movies, understanding the spell has been broken.

  “Mr. Marley, what can I do for you?”