Walt quickly moved to my side and took my hand.
My pulse sped to a near marathon pace and my body began to tremble as I told the biggest lie of my entire life. “Yes.”
“You ready?” Heath asked, sitting beside me on the bed.
“No,” I whispered.
He nodded and rested his elbows on his knees.
It had been a week, and no one had heard from Walt.
Was I unnerved that he’d all but disappeared? Unquestionably.
Did I feel like I was finally living for the first time since he’d slid his ring on my finger? Abso-fucking-lutely.
After my first night at Roman and Elisabeth’s, I’d learned something from the sexy and impossibly sweet Heath Light. Being forced to depend on people wasn’t such a bad thing after all. So what if Elisabeth had bought me underwear and ridiculous nighties to sleep in? She’d also baked my baby cookies and provided me with a fully furnished bedroom where we could sleep safely and soundly while DEA agents and personal security guarded us. She hadn’t had to do that any more than Heath had had to order me pizza and stay up until the wee hours of the morning, filling my head with his past until I’d finally managed to drift off.
The following day, after Heath had mentioned something to Elisabeth over a breakfast she’d cooked for us, I’d found a bag full of yoga pants and oversized T-shirts on my bed.
I’d cried as I’d pulled them on.
They felt like me. But not Clare Noir. Walt never would have allowed me to wear that to bed.
They felt like me. Clare Cynthia Cornwell. The woman I’d lost the day I’d signed my life away on the dotted line of a marriage certificate.
That night, after I got out of the shower, I found Heath sitting in my room, lounging on the bed, while Tessa explained to him all things Surprise Eggs and Shopkins. He listened intently with bright eyes and a wide smile that made my stomach dip.
That was Heath.
He was oddly reminiscent of Luke—but better.
After Tessa had fallen asleep, we stayed up all night, talking again and watching old reruns of Wheel of Fortune. He was exhausted and yawned repeatedly, but he stayed until my lids fluttered closed. I wasn’t sure when he’d snuck out, but he was gone by the next morning.
He always came back the following night though.
When I was with Heath, I didn’t feel like I was drowning. For those hours locked in a bedroom with him while Tessa slept soundly beside me, I was the happiest I’d been in years. The expansive world outside paled in comparison to the beauty inside those four walls. He made sure of that.
I would have lived in the confines of that safe haven forever as long as I had them beside me.
Heath had taken so many of my dirty and broken pieces away over the last week that it was a wonder I wasn’t transparent. The holes left behind weren’t always as easy to fill. But, each time I fell apart, he was there.
It’d taken a few days, but I’d relaxed when it came to Tessa. I’d been encouraging her to spend more time alone with Elisabeth and Roman. They were good people. And God knows she hadn’t had many of those in her life. The smile on her face as she found comfort with others was worth every minute of my anxiety. And the peace I felt when I leaned back against Heath’s chest as we watched her from the window while she raced through the backyard, Loretta hot on her heels, made it worth it in a different way.
My relationship with the Leblancs was evolving as well. I was no expert on friendship, but it felt like Elisabeth and I had developed one. We laughed a lot and had shared quite a few tears too. She was candid about her and Roman’s relationship. How they had gotten a divorce and it wasn’t until they found out about the possibility of the embryos having been switched that they rekindled things. Their story of love and loss wasn’t an easy one, but as sad as it may sound, I was jealous.
Roman was an amazing man—albeit bossy and stubborn. But it was obvious he was madly in love with her and her with him.
It was a concept my mind couldn’t quite grasp.
Walt had proven that love wasn’t always hearts and flowers. It could be dark and dirty, defined by power and pain, and filled with anguish and agony.
But, even knowing that, I still longed for a connection. Like the magical spark I felt when I was with Heath—even when he had been Luke.
Swallowing hard, I snuck a peek at him as he crossed his thick arms over his chest and kicked his legs out in front of him. Beautifully relaxed. His blond hair was styled away from his face, and a thin layer of scruff covered his jaw. My stealthy gaze drifted to his lips, where they lingered for entirely too long. I had no right to wonder what they would feel like pressed against my own. But that didn’t stop me.
It was not the day to be daydreaming about Heath.
Tessa’s DNA test had come in and a doctor from the lab was driving out to give us the results in person. We all knew what they were going to read, but apprehension had still hovered in the air over breakfast.
Desperate to feel something—anything—except the nerves rolling in my stomach, I rested my hand on his thigh.
“What do you need, Clare?” he murmured the same way he had so many times over the last week.
My answer was always the same. “You.”
“Then get over here and take it,” he replied as usual.
It was an offer I never refused.
His blanket of warmth was often the only thing that could ward off the chill of reality.
“I’m nervous,” I admitted, leaning into his side.
Curling an arm around my shoulders, he reclined on the bed, taking me down with him.
“You should be,” he said dryly. “I’ve decided today is going to be the day I finally beat you at Wheel of Fortune.”
An evil laugh bubbled in my throat. “Good luck with that.”
“I’m serious. I know you’re cheating.”
“Oh please!” I rolled my eyes. “You guessed The Old Man and the Bee as a famous book. It doesn’t require cheating to beat you.”
“Hey!” He feigned injury. “It was a brilliant piece of satire.”
“A brilliant piece of fake satire is more like it. I Googled it. It’s not real.”
He teasingly gasped. “You used the Google against me? How dare you!”
I squealed as he tickled my side.
Tessa’s attention snapped to us, concern in her deep-green eyes.
Heath sat up a fraction to flash her a huge grin before saying, “Your mama thinks she’s funny.”
Her eyes lit. “Mama’s funny when she dances.”
Oh shit.
Heath’s head swung to me, his mouth hanging open in amusement. “You dance?”
I bulged my eyes at Tessa. “No!”
And I didn’t—unless I was alone in a room with Tessa. And then I became Michael freaking Flatley—assuming he was drunk, deaf, and rhythmless. But there was no way Heath would ever get to witness a tragedy like that.
“You do!” Tessa argued. “Like dis.” She got to her feet and flailed her arms and legs in probably a much better impression of my dancing.
Heath laughed loudly.
I rolled to my side and buried my face in his chest. “You’re never going to let this go, are you?”
His head dipped, his lips going to my ear as he rumbled, “Change of plans, babe.” Chills prickled on my neck as his warm breath breezed over my skin. “Tonight we’re forgoing Wheel of Fortune so you can show me these famous moves.”
I giggled and stretched my arm across his stomach, letting my hand splay over the hard ridges of his abs.
Heath and I weren’t exactly cuddlers, but true to his word, if I needed something, he gave it to me. And, truth be told, sometimes, I didn’t need it at all—I wanted it.
And I was quickly realizing that, when it came to Heath, I wanted it all.
I decided a change of topic would be better than discussing my “famous moves” any further. “What should we do with her while we hear the results?”
“I trust her with Alex,” he said, squeezing me tight.
“I don’t know.”
“She likes Ethan a lot,” he suggested.
“I know,” I replied, lifting my head to check on Tessa, who had gone back to quietly drawing in one of the activity books Elisabeth had bought her. “What about if I just let her wear the headphones and watch a movie?”
He gave me a tight squeeze. “You gonna be able to keep it together? It’ll freak her out if you get upset. She feeds off your emotions.”
I sighed. “I already know the results.”
“What about me?” he suggested. “I could sit with her.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. I trusted her with Heath. Completely.
But I didn’t trust myself without him when those results were read.
“Headphones. I’ll keep it together,” I decided immediately.
He nodded, and while I couldn’t be positive, I swear I felt his lips press against the top of my head before he mumbled, “Okay.”
God, it felt good to have him. He might not have agreed with my decision. But he supported me no matter what.
“Luke! Look!” Tessa yelled, holding up a picture she’d drawn.
He lifted his head off the bed, keeping me held tight to his side as he praised, “Good job, sweet girl. Is that a snowman?”
She burst out laughing. “No! Dat’s you!”
“Well, shit,” he mumbled, glancing down at me with a playful grin. “I think that might be my cue to get back in the gym.”
I laughed, and there was no mistaking it that time. A huge smile split his mouth just as it came down on my forehead. He kissed me chastely, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
And maybe it was.
It didn’t hurt. It wouldn’t be followed by demands of sex. Nor would my reaction determine how many bruises I would end up with.
It was just a simple show of affection.
And it came from Heath.
My heart swelled and my nose began to sting, but I refused to cry. Tears had no business between us anymore.
“You ready?” he whispered.
No. Absolutely not. Because ready meant leaving that moment with him and facing the reality that loomed on the other side of the bedroom door. However, I was certain the doctor had already arrived, assuming he’d made it through our security detail.
“Two minutes?” I asked.
This got me a, “Yeah, babe,” which was followed by a tight squeeze and another lip touch on my forehead.
And that made me regret not asking for two days.
We sat in silence, watching Tessa search through every crayon for the perfect shade to color a pig.
Two minutes turned into ten, but he never pressured me.
He was incredible like that.
Patient.
Kind.
Thoughtful.
Heath.
Finally, I forced myself to sit up, his blanket of warmth sticking with me as he followed me.
“We should probably go downstairs,” I said softly, staring up through my lashes.
His eyes flashed dark as he licked his lips. “You sure?” He smoothed a hand down my back before reassuringly gripping my hip.
This. Man.
I swayed into him. “No. But, if I want to escape back up here with you for the rest of the night, it’s a necessity.”
He smiled, tucking a stray hair behind my ear and peeling another shattered piece of my soul away. “I like that plan. Then let’s get this over with.”
“Okay, Heath,” I whispered. My eyes flashed to his mouth, and he must have noticed, because his smile grew tenfold.
Holding my gaze, he called out, “Tessi, grab your headphones and iPad. We’re going down.”
“Yeehaw!” she squealed for reasons that could only be described as My Little Pony overload.
Heath laughed loudly, and I couldn’t help but join him.
And, looking back, I was glad I did.
It was only those memories with him that pulled me through the darkness.
Again.
Tessa held my hand as we rounded the corner to the living room, her eyes glued to the iPad, her headphones already in place. I hated how much time she spent on that thing, but when you were on the run from a tyrant, little girls got extra screen time.
Elisabeth and Roman were already sitting on the leather sofa flanked by Alex and Ethan at either end. A middle-aged man with horn-rimmed glasses pushed to his feet when he saw us.
“Mrs. Noir, I’m Doctor Hurly,” he greeted.
Just the sound of Walt’s name slashed through me.
“Just Clare. Please,” I corrected.
“Of course. Clare, come have a seat,” he invited, but my feet didn’t budge.
Suddenly, a rush of nerves swirled in my stomach as it all became too real.
I swallowed hard, trying to pack it down, and then Heath stepped in front of me and whispered, “We can wait.”
“I’m okay,” I lied.
Which he easily read. “Try that again.”
I reached out and rested a hand on his chest. “Fine. This sucks.”
He grinned and leaned toward me. A subtle offer for comfort in Heath Light style. I’d take whatever I could get and swayed into him. One of his hands found my hip before sliding around to my lower back, warmth radiating out from his touch.
Bending his head down, he murmured in my ear, “Elisabeth cooked.”
My eyebrows pinched together in question as I craned my head back. “Um…okay?”
“That means, after this bullshit is done, it’s you, me, Tessa, and a pizza. And, this time, I vote we add beer.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed, beaming with excitement. “It’s like you’re speaking to my soul.”
He gave a deep, masculine chuckle, and I did my best not to gawk at his sexy mouth. Well, at least not repeatedly. And failed. Tragically.
His eyes heated as he rumbled, “So let’s try this again: We can wait.”
“I’m okay,” I replied, this time honestly. And I really was.
He was there.
It was time we put this to rest. Tessa was my daughter. She was also Elisabeth’s. Most importantly, together, we could keep her away from Walt.
I drew in a sharp breath and patted Heath’s chest before moving around him.
Ethan lifted his hand for a high five as we passed, and Tessa did not leave him hanging.
Elisabeth was on her feet and wrapping me into a bear hug before I knew what had hit me.
“This changes nothing,” she vowed.
She was wrong; it changed everything. But different could be good. Nothing was worse than standing immobile in Walt’s fiery inferno, waiting to die. And that was exactly what I’d been doing for the last seven years.
I backed out of her hug and lifted Tessa into my arms. “I know. I’m okay. Really. It is what it is at this point. I just want it over with so we can all move on with our lives. This is step one.”
“You’re incredible,” Elisabeth gasped, tears filling her eyes.
I wasn’t. I was just making the best of the shit hand I’d been dealt.
Grinning, I sat down in an oversized chair and arranged Tessa and her iPad on my lap. I reached up and caught Heath’s hand from where he was standing behind me. “Let’s do this. Rip the Band-Aid off, Doc.”
Elisabeth shuffled back to her position with Roman and nodded at Doctor Hurly to carry on.
He cleared his throat. “Of course. Let’s get to it. Mr. Leblanc asked me here today in case there were any questions from either party. However, the results of our testing are quite straightforward.” He flipped through the papers in his hand before passing one to me and another copy to Elisabeth. “First off, our tests were performed—”
I interrupted him. “Please save your explanations for later. Just tell us what you found.”
“Right.” He smiled tightly, glancing around the room. “In the case of maternity, we have found to a degree of
a 99.8 percent certainty that Tessa Noir is the daughter of Elisabeth Leblanc.”
My lungs seized for the briefest of seconds.
Quick. Fast. And to the point.
The truth still took my breath away, but then it was done.
I could live with done. Done meant I’d lived through it and come out on the other side. Done meant moving forward.
And then the floor opened up and the demons of Hell attacked me from all angles.
“It also proved to a 99.8 percent certainty that Walter Noir is her father.”
Quick. Fast. And to the point.
I was stabbed in the heart with a verbal blow so painful that I wished I hadn’t lived to see the other side.
The room fell silent to my ears even as chaos broke out around me. Roman shot to his feet, Elisabeth right beside him.
And I stared ahead, utterly numb.
I was vaguely aware of Heath plucking Tessa from my lap. I didn’t have it in me to fight him. My arms fell to my sides, limp and empty. So fucking empty. Just like the gaping hole in my chest where my heart had once been.
Elisabeth is her mother.
Walt is her father.
Embryos hadn’t been swapped.
They’d been created.
Walter fucking Noir had paid someone to give him the egg I couldn’t.
And then he’d used me as nothing more than a vessel to deliver her into Satan’s lair.
I blinked, my entire life flashing on the backs of my lids.
His words slicing me like razor blades.
His hands pounding me unconsciousness because I had the audacity to breathe without his permission.
His insecurities keeping me caged like an animal.
His body becoming a weapon, stealing bits of me until, ultimately, I broke.
Yet, not one of those things came even close to the pain he’d just inflicted.
Walt didn’t even have to be present to destroy me.
I’d only thought I’d gotten free of him the day Heath and Roman had carried us out.
The truth was…there was no escape.
He would never stop.
He’d ruined every last part of me.
And, now, he was going to ruin her too.
The most God-awful, agonizing scream I’d ever heard hit my ears.
It wasn’t until Heath appeared in front of me that I realized it was coming from my mouth.
The Complete Retrieval Duet Page 26
