by SJ McCoy
“What were you like as a kid? What were you into?”
She looked up into his eyes, and he had to drop a kiss on her lips. She smiled. “I was a good girl. I bet you could have guessed that, too.”
He nodded. “Yeah. You don’t surprise me.”
“I was always in Jade’s shadow.”
He frowned. He could see it, but he didn’t like the idea of it.
She shrugged. “She’s more outgoing than I am. More confident.” She smiled. “More opinionated. She always needs people to know that’s she’s there and to know what she thinks. I’m not like that. I just want everyone to be happy.”
He tightened his arm around her shoulders. “I think we’re all alike in that. I like to keep everyone happy, to make sure everyone’s taken care of. There’s one big difference between us, though.”
She looked up into his eyes. “What’s that?”
He smiled. “I make sure I include myself. I make sure I take care of me and make myself happy. You put yourself last.”
She opened her mouth as if to protest, and then nodded slowly. “I suppose. I don’t mean to. It’s not some intentional self-sacrifice. I just … I get so focused on making sure everyone else is okay, that I don’t even notice until it’s too late that I’ve messed myself up.”
He nodded. He guessed that she was talking about Milo and her parents, but he didn’t want to ask. Didn’t want to take the conversation back to that. He’d rather talk about the two of them—and the future, than about her and her ex and the past.
She gave him a puzzled look. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Anything you like.”
She blew out a sigh. “I don’t really like, but I want to know. About you and Nadia. Were you … was that about making yourself happy?”
His heart sank. He hadn’t wanted to talk about her ex, he certainly didn’t want to talk about his. He wasn’t going to avoid it, though.
“It was about making myself happy in the beginning. I was flattered that she was interested in me.” He wondered how that must sound, but it didn’t matter. “When we first started dating, she’d just come back from college. You know she’s a lawyer?”
Amber nodded.
“That’s how I got to know her. She was representing the family in a probate case. She was very focused on work and success.” He shrugged. “It took me too long to learn that her interest in me was mostly about work and success. She thought I was a good prospect.” He shrugged. “She’s …” He hesitated. He didn’t want to talk badly about her, but he couldn’t think of anything good to say. “Do you even want to know?”
Amber nodded. “If you don’t mind telling me? I want to understand who you are … and how you see relationships. For the first few months I was here, you were still with her.” She smiled. “And I was jealous.”
That sent a jolt through him. He loved thinking that she’d liked him from afar, just as he’d liked her—even though he was still with Nadia.
“It never seemed like you were happy with her though. And none of your friends seemed to like her. I just couldn’t work it out. I still can’t.”
He nodded. “Okay. We were together for a long time. In the beginning, like I said, I was flattered that she was interested in me. Over time, I learned that we didn’t have the same values. But she thought she could mold me into the kind of man she wanted, and I guess, if I’m honest, I thought I should let her—that she’d somehow make me a better man if I let her.” He shrugged. “I was wrong about that. I couldn’t be, wouldn’t want to be the kind of man she wants. I tried for a while. Then I said that maybe it’d be better if we went our separate ways, but she asked if we could try. So, we did. We’d become a habit for each other. She got into the habit of feeling disappointed in me, and I got into the habit of trying to do and be what she wanted.”
“That’s sad. What made you finally break the habit?”
He thought back to the night he’d finally told Nadia it was over. “It wasn’t just one thing. It was the realization that as long as we stayed together, I’d always feel like I was a disappointment. Like I couldn’t do anything right.” He caught her gaze. “And I have to be honest, ever since we met, I couldn’t help wondering what it’d be like if …”
She reached up and touched his cheek. “I felt so bad wondering about you. You were still with her, and for all I knew you were going to get married.”
He frowned. “What makes you say that?”
“That’s what her friends said. I think they knew I liked you. They sat next to Jade and me at the bar one night and talked about how she was just waiting for you to pop the question.”
Austin blew out a sigh. “I never planned to do that. Never.”
She rested her head against his shoulder. “You poor thing. You went from a girl who expected you to propose to her, to one who just went ahead and told her parents that you had. And you never planned to ask anyone.”
He tightened his arm around her shoulders. She’d misunderstood him, and he needed her to know. “No. I meant I’d never planned to ask Nadia.”
She looked up into his eyes.
“I do want to propose to the girl I love one day.” It was safe to say it because she didn’t know yet that she was the girl he loved.
She smiled. “That’s good. You’re the kind of guy who should be married.”
He nodded. He thought so, too.
~ ~ ~
The day flew by. Amber was shocked when she noticed the time. If she was going to go home, she should go soon. She didn’t want to, but after their conversation earlier, perhaps it was best. She was feeling even worse now about roping him into this lie for her parents.
She’d meant it when she said that he was the kind of guy who should be married. He was. He was caring and kind. He’d agreed with her, too—and talked about wanting to ask the girl he was in love with to marry him. She sighed. That was one lucky girl. Whoever she was, whenever she came along, Amber wanted to envy her, but she couldn’t help but like her. She’d have to be someone special for Austin to fall for her. He was one special guy.
He came back outside to where she was sitting by the pool and dropped a kiss on her lips. “I haven’t wanted to say anything. I wanted to make today last, and just enjoy it for what it is, but …”
She sighed. “I was doing the same, but …” She gave him a sad smile. “It’s time for me to go, right?”
He pursed his lips. “If you want to. I’ll take you. I was hoping you might want to stay, but …”
“I’ll stay then.”
“I don’t want you to do it for me.”
She laughed. “What makes you think that?”
“You just said it was time for you to go.”
“Only because I thought that was what you were going to say. I didn’t want to make it hard for you to kick me out.”
He took her hand and pulled her to her feet. When she stood, he closed his arms around her and held her close. She could feel his heart pounding in his chest.
“I think we need to get something straight, Amber. I haven’t wanted to say too much because I don’t want you to feel pressured. I don’t want you to feel like you just escaped Milo only to be landed with another guy who’s trying to claim you. But I need you to know. I want this. I want you. I want you to be my girl for my sake and for your sake, not just because you told your parents you were engaged, but because you want to be with me.” He smiled. “Even if it’s only half as much as I want to be with you.”
Her heart was thundering in her ears now. “You do?”
He nodded. “More than anything.”
She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “I don’t think I want to be with you half as much as you want to be with me.”
His arms tightened around her and lines of disappointment etched his face.
“Don’t look like that! I don’t mean it that way. I mean I think I want to be with you twice as much as you want to be with me.”
&n
bsp; A look of relief washed over him. “I doubt that’s true. There’s something else I should tell you.”
“What?”
He shook his head slowly. “It’s not the right time yet. After your parents have been here and gone. Ask me then.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me now?”
He smiled. “I want to, but it’s better if I wait.”
“Okay. I trust you.”
“Thank you. That means more than you know. Do you trust me enough not to wear you out this week?”
She raised an eyebrow at him.
“What I’d like to do is take you back to your place so you can get your things, then bring you back here …” He let his gaze travel over her, sending shivers racing through her. “To bed. Then I’d like you to stay for the week, get to know each other properly—in every sense. Then when we have your parents over next weekend, they won’t be able to doubt.” He bit his lip and held her gaze for a long moment before he added. “And after they leave, you won’t be able to doubt that I want you to stay.”
Wow! She’d thought that was what he meant this morning. Now he was saying it again. She slid her arms up around his shoulders and reached up to kiss him. His arm tightened around her and the other came up as he tangled his fingers in her hair. He pulled her head back to give himself better access as he deepened the kiss and left her sagging against him, clinging to him in an attempt to stay upright, even though she’d rather be horizontal with him at this point.
When he finally lifted his head, he looked down into her eyes. She smiled and nipped his bottom lip. “You told me I should put more effort into doing things that make me happy. So, I’m going to do just that. Everything you just said would make me very happy indeed. So, I’m not going to doubt or question. I’m just going to say, yes. Let’s go to my place and get some more of my things so I can spend the week here with you.”
Her chest filled with warmth when he smiled. “Let’s get lots of your things, huh? Much more than you’ll need for just the week.”
Chapter Seventeen
Austin was surprised to find the office unlocked when he got there on Monday morning.
“Crystal?”
“Oh. Hey!” Sounds of movement came from her office and then she popped her head out. “I didn’t expect you yet. I’ll be right out.”
He frowned to himself as he went through to the back to start the coffee. She wasn’t usually here before him. And despite having lingered in bed with Amber this morning, he wasn’t late.
She came out a few minutes later and gave him an odd look. “How was the rest of your weekend?”
He couldn’t help smiling. “It was great.” He was looking forward to the rest of the week being just as good, too. The day hadn’t even started yet, and he couldn’t wait to go home this evening and have dinner with Amber, hang out with her, and then go to bed with her again tonight. He had to reel his mind back in, had to come back to today and the work he had to do. And perhaps he should be more curious about what was going on with Crystal.
“Are you okay?” he asked. She was fiddling with her blouse, trying to straighten it.
“Never mind changing the subject. I want to know more about just how great your weekend was.”
He turned to see Dallas standing in the doorway. It was weird that he hadn’t heard him come in.
Dallas grinned at him. “Let me guess, you and Amber never set foot outside the bedroom after I saw you guys?”
Austin made a face at him. He didn’t want to talk about that in front of Crystal.
Dallas laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. Just tell me that she stayed?”
He nodded.
“Awesome. And is she going to come back and stay next weekend, too?”
Austin glanced at Crystal. There was no harm in her knowing. He shook his head.
Dallas’s smile faded. “No?”
“No. She’s not coming back next weekend. She’s staying.”
“Wow!” Dallas raised an eyebrow at him. “Like, permanently?”
“I hope so. Anyway, let’s get a coffee and you can come in with me. There’s a lot we need to go through before I can let you loose around here.”
Once they were settled in his office, Dallas grinned at him. “Have you asked her to move in with you already? I know you’re a one-woman kind of man, but isn’t this a bit fast, even for you?”
Austin shrugged. “It’s not like that. Not really.”
“What is it like then?”
Austin knew he should tell him about her parents and about Milo, but he didn’t know what he’d think.
“Tell me?”
He blew out a sigh and told him all about what Jade had done, about Milo’s phone call and everything, right up to him telling Amber that he’d like her to stay even after her parents came to visit.
When he’d finished, Dallas sat back in his chair and sipped his coffee.
“Say something?”
Dallas chuckled. “I’m not sure I know what to say to that, A.”
“Do you think I’m crazy?”
“I should. But I don’t. I’m surprised at you for going along with a lie, but then, even that. I can see why you’re doing it. Especially after her ex called you like that. But where’s it all going?”
Austin shrugged. “I told you. I … I’m falling for her.” He didn’t want to go as far as to admit that he already had.
Dallas smiled. “Fallen, not falling. Even I can see that.”
Austin nodded. He might not want to admit it, but he wasn’t going to deny it.
“That’s kind of what I mean. If you want her to stay with you even after you put on the big show for her parents … that means you want this to be something real.”
“I do.”
“So …” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Where’s it going? Is the pretend engagement just a precursor to the real one?”
Austin dropped his gaze.
“It is, isn’t it?”
“It’s too soon for that, don’t you think?” He expected Dallas to laugh and tell him that hell, yes, it was.
Instead, Dallas shrugged. “Is it? I’m no expert, but I would have thought that once you know, you know. More time isn’t going to make any difference. Isn’t going to change the way you feel.”
“I don’t mean that. I know how I feel. I mean Amber needs more time to know how she feels.”
“Does she?”
Austin met his gaze.
“Think about it. She strikes me as being a lot like you. I know it was her sister who came up with the lie. But do you think she’d go along with it if she was totally against the idea? I’d bet that she wouldn’t, couldn’t even consider the idea of pretending to be engaged to someone she wouldn’t want to be engaged to.”
Austin smiled as he thought about it. “I think you might have a point there. I keep holding back, not wanting to push her, but whenever I let her know how I feel, she’s right there with me.”
Dallas smiled. “If I had to guess, I’d say that she’d be right there with you all the way to wherever you want to take this.” He laughed. “And for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t mind having her as a sister-in-law. I like her. I mean, after Nadia, anyone would be an improvement. You had me worried for a while that I was going to have to call her family.”
“No. I was never going to marry her.”
“See that just tells me that you know your own mind. You were with her for years, but you never wanted to marry her. You’ve only been with Amber for weeks, but you do want to … don’t you?”
Austin nodded slowly. “I feel crazy even admitting it, but yeah. I do. We’ve not been seeing each other long—not long at all, but I’ve known her for a while, and I’ve known ever since the day I met her that I wanted to be with her.”
“Then I say, go for it.”
“There’s no rush, is there? She’s going to stay with me for the week, so that she … so that we feel at ease with each other. So tha
t we can pull off being an engaged couple.”
“Does she plan to leave after their visit?”
“I already told her that I’d like her stay.”
“And she said yes?”
“She didn’t say no.”
“Then I guess, by then, you’ll know if you’re going to be an engaged couple—for real.”
Austin couldn’t help smiling.
~ ~ ~
Lenny raised an eyebrow at Amber when she got to the post office. “Is your sister not coming today?”
Amber bit her bottom lip. She didn’t know how to tell her that she didn’t know. She hadn’t seen her yet this morning, since she’d stayed at Austin’s last night.
Lenny figured it out for herself quickly enough. She smiled. “Ah. You’re coming from Austin’s not from the apartment?”
She nodded.
Lenny smiled. “Well, that’s wonderful news. Tell me all about it?”
Amber shrugged. “He agreed to go along with the whole being engaged thing.”
“I know that much. And it doesn’t explain why you stayed with him last night.”
Amber could feel the heat in her cheeks. “I don’t suppose it does, does it? He asked me to stay with him.”
Lenny’s smile faded. “And did you stay because you wanted to or because you wanted to get your stories straight before the weekend.”
“I thought at first that it was about getting our stories straight. That was what Jade suggested. But …” She looked up at Lenny from under her eyebrows. “It’s about more than that. I like him a lot.”
Lenny grinned. “And he likes you. You should make the most of this week.”
“I plan to.”
They both looked up when Jade came in. “Sorry I’m a bit late.”
“You’re not,” said Lenny. “And you know, if you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to.”
Jade shrugged. “I like hanging out with you both.”
Lenny laughed. “I know, but I don’t need you both.”
“Are you telling me my services are no longer required?”
“I guess I am.”
Amber gave her sister a worried look, but Jade just laughed. “In that case, I might get out of here.”
