The shower forgotten, the water running into his eyes ignored, Mac’s breathing was shallow, wanting. He held the shower door for support when his knees weakened while Leo stood motionless, watching him, locking in their connection while one was under water and the other was dry.
It was symbolic of them. They were as different as wet and dry, day and night. Leo was dark skinned, confident, beautiful in a graceful, ethereal way, perfectly formed muscles and swanlike movements.
Mac knew himself, clunky, so white, the sun burned him at the slightest exposure. Leo’s face was barely stubbled, while Mac’s was growing a thick beard after a couple days of not shaving. His body was trim, sure, but not defined, not like Leo. He had no confidence in himself or anything else. There was no good reason Leo wanted him, but if he took him at his word, and believed the way Leo gazed at him, Leo definitely wanted him.
He stepped in the shower with Mac and tenderly wrapped arms around Mac’s waist. Pushing him to the cold wall, leaning in, they kissed quickly, Mac tasting the water on Leo’s succulent lips.
“Talk to me, cowboy. Tell me about your first crush.”
Mac chuckled nervously. “Hell, I don’t remember that.”
“Sure, you do. We all remember that. Was he a friend? A teacher you were crushing on as a kid? A singer or actor maybe? It doesn’t matter, I just want to know you.”
Mac knew, though he didn’t want to remember it. The boy he’d first fallen for, or crushed on, like Leo had said. It was the worst time in his life, up until then. Not that any of it had been a ball of fun.
Leo took the bar soap from the shelf and started running it over Mac’s chest, the steady circular motion lulling him enough that the memory cut less. “It was…a friend. A kid I used ta play with when we was jus’ little.”
“Mmhmm,” he hummed, moving the soap over his left shoulder, the same rounded movements, over and over, the hot water adding to it, making him dreamy as he spoke. “I didn’t know nothin’ about love or sex or nothin’, but I knew I liked being ‘round him more ‘n anythin’. He was cute, sure, especially when he smiled. His nose crinkled up, ya know?
“Anyhow, he and I liked to explore. We’d look fer treasures, diggin’ holes all over, searchin’ through the sheds and such.” The soap was on the other shoulder and then to his neck. Mac’s eyelids felt like they were ten tons.
“Tell me more, baby.”
His voice, that soft, male voice, so close to him, like a song on the falling water of the shower. He could groan if he had that in him, but instead, even the words were heavy and hard to produce. “We was explorin’ one day and Rudy, that was his name, Rudy, he wanted to go to the slave quarters. He didn’t know what they was, shit, I didn’t understand what they was back then.
“My mama told me to stay away from ‘em, told me they was dangerous, but Rudy wanted to, and I figured I’d prob’bly do jus’ ‘bout whatever he wanted, so we went. Took us a couple hours to git there, but once we did, we looked ‘round for a bit, didn’t find nothin’ a couple kids would git excited ‘bout.”
His thoughts of that day were clear and bright, like the sun was following them around, even in the dark slave houses. Rudy’s grin, one tooth missing, his freckles standing out dark on his pale skin, his constantly messy blond hair.
“He…he had a funny laugh. Like a heehaw sound, never failed to make me laugh too, even if what he was laughin’ at wasn’t funny.”
“I can imagine it, the way your voice tells it, baby,” Leo said, moving Mac around to face the tile so his back could get the same attention from Leo’s hand and the soap.
“We got tired out some and knew what a long walk back it was. We sat down in one of the houses, dusty as all git-out, my shirt torn, and I knew I was gonna have hell ta pay.”
“Mmmhmm,” Leo hummed again, long, strokes and heavier pressure from the bar of soap giving him a massage.
“Uh…well, we started talkin’ ‘bout grownups, and the subject got ‘round to girls and boys, somehow. He said that girls were gross, ya know, and I had to agree, but what kid didn’t at that age? I didn’t think nothin’ of it, and I didn’t think he did either, but then…he asked somethin’ that I didn’t worry about until a long time later. He asked if I’d be his boyfriend. Shit, I didn’t know what that really meant and all, so I said, sure thing, that we’d be boyfriends. I’d have done anythin’ for that boy, ya know it? Jus’ anythin’.”
“Like I’d do for you, yeah, I get it, baby.”
He did manage to moan then, the air coming out on a whisper of need and contentment. “Damn, Leo.”
“Keep going with your story.”
That, he could do without. The sun that he imagined shining only for them, lighting them in a way that it could only come from a child’s imagination, a very dark cloud passed over it in his mind, a cloud in the shape of Daniel Blaylock.
While he and Rudy smiled at one another, Rudy’s nose crinkles so comically, there was nothing wrong in the world. He was happy in that way only children with no idea what the world is really like can be. There was no war or death or hatred, only sunny days and starry nights, and his best friend, then boyfriend, was there with him. Skinned knees and haircuts were the worst of it, things they could share, complaining between them while wondering how adults could be concerned about anything else.
“We was sittin’, doin’ nothin’ anyone would be ashamed of, and I heard Daddy’s voice. He was yellin’ from the dirt road. I stood up, well, slidin’ up that old wall, and Rudy askin’ me why I was shakin’.
“I…I knew I was in trouble, not supposed to go ‘round there, but then it all of a sudden hit me. Rudy would git in trouble, and I didn’t want that, but there wasn’t nothin’ I could do. Daddy called and called and I ran out of the house, tellin’ Rudy to stay back, hide out ‘til Daddy and me left, but once I got to Daddy, he was pissed off to hell and he started yellin’. He saw Rudy, and that did it. He yelled at him, tellin’ him to git and never come back if he knew what was good for him. All the way back home, Daddy whooped my ass, tellin’ me I wasn’t to have anythin’ to do with that boy ever again, and he wasn’t welcome there no more.”
The soap moving over his body stopped and Leo stared at him, lips parted like there was a question there he couldn’t quite ask.
“I figured later, once I knew what a boyfriend was, that Daddy thought we was gettin’ up to no good in there. Knew I was messin’ with boys. I never went back inside the slave houses and never did get to play with Rudy again.”
The water ran over him a long time before Leo made a move or said a word. Then it came quickly, Leo grabbing the back of his neck, drawing Mac to him so he could hold him close, whispering, “That’s all over now, baby. I’m your boyfriend now, and nobody’s gonna chase me away.”
Sliding his hands on Leo’s back, holding him like if he let go, he’d fall over that cliff that had threatened, Leo didn’t let go of him until the water started to cool, and they knew they didn’t have much time before their shower would turn cold and chase them.
Leo cleaned himself quickly, quietly, then when they were rinsed, he helped Mac out, grabbing the towel and running it over his face once before kissing him. “My beauty, my man,” he cooed, kissing a few more times.
Mac’s heart was broken with the memory, and healing, the muscle knitting together as Leo dried him with the thin, worn towel.
Every inch of him, Leo knelt to dry his legs and feet, taking his time as he dried his genitals, his ass, over his back, his hair, every part of him was given the sweetest attention. When he led Mac to the bedroom, they stood hand in hand, staring at the bed.
“We don’t have to sleep here, Mac. The camper’s clean.”
“Ain’t ya supposed to tell me what’s best?”
He didn’t want to make the decision, but Leo wouldn’t let him out of it. “Tell me, Mac. Here or the camper. I won’t push you to do something that will hurt you more.”
As much as he wanted to say they’d
go to the camper, he remembered the sound of things falling from the cabinets, the sight of broken glass and spilled food on the floor. It made sense to stay in the house, and it was better. The bed wouldn’t be used by anyone else, though it had been his father’s.
Mac croaked, “Here. We need to stay here.”
Leo moved in front of him, cutting off the view of the room. “Tell me why you said we need to stay here, Mac, instead of that you want to.”
Pulling words from him seemed cruel. He didn’t want to have to explain why he felt the things he did, but with Leo, he knew he’d never get off easily. “We can’t keep stayin’ and fuckin’ in there. We need to stay here, and I guess I need to. Maybe chase him off once and for all.”
Leo’s eyes never left his, and somehow that helped. He was afraid that if Leo so much as looked away, he’d lose his mind.
“Breathe, baby. I’m going to move to the side, and you’re going to walk in there, lay on that bed, wait for me to go get the things from the camper I need. While I’m gone, tell yourself, and tell him, your man is coming back and he’s going to fuck you. Your Daddy can’t take me away from you like he did Rudy. I’m not leaving you, and I’m not going to let you fall.”
Mac moved to him, knowing he was about to be alone, about to change his life and his head, and he held on tight, nodding in the crook of Leo’s neck, breathing in the clean smell of him. “This is so hard.”
“I know, but you are strong, baby. And I’m strong. I won’t leave you long. Give me your fear, baby. Let me take that from you.”
Mac nodded again, but he let go of him, setting his sights on the bed. If he could make it there, place himself on it and say the words, even in his head, he felt like a huge hurdle would be behind him.
The carpet was course under his bare feet, and he concentrated on that as he walked. The quilt had seen better days, frayed at the seams, each swatch worn and practically transparent. He sat on it, taking a deep breath and saying in a whisper, “I’m stayin’ here tonight and I’m stayin’ with my boyfriend. With Leo.”
As low as he’d said it, it felt like it boomed through the room. It echoed on the walls, getting loud with each reverberation. He was staying in his father’s room with a man. His man, the man who cared about him.
The man who cared about him.
The man.
Leo didn’t take long, but when he came in, he stopped cold at seeing Mac. “You’re smiling. Did you go over the brink and lose your shit?”
“You’d think so, huh? Nah. I’m jus’ waitin’ to mess up this bed with you tonight.”
Chapter Nine
“I’ve never been so proud of anyone in my life,” Leo told him as he lay over him on the bed. He’d gotten a condom on, kissed Mac silly, and still, he couldn’t stop grinning. “I mean, damn, Mac. You’re amazing.”
It felt good, the praise, to know he’d done well. It wasn’t like he’d rebuilt the barn or found a million dollar check his daddy had forgotten to cash, but he’d done something that made Leo happy, nonetheless. Something small had done this, made Leo kiss him so deep, made Leo’s hands caress over him, made his eyes shine at Mac, like he’d been coronated king of the universe.
That kind of high, that kind of happiness, it might not last long, but it was there, and he was reveling in it. Leo had him kneeling, facing the curtains over the window, and he pushed into Mac with a sure, steady thrust, then wrapped around his arms, pinning them to his sides.
He had his hands on his thighs as he knelt, unable to move much anyway. Leo had control, he was the one moving, he was the one who would take him to someplace else in his mind and in his body.
“Don’t say anything, baby. Don’t move except your hips, moving back on me. Close your eyes and just feel.”
That is what he did. He let himself simply feel for the second time that strange and crazy night. The slide and stretch of Leo inside of him, so deeply, in the most intimate way. Leo’s lips were on his neck, on his shoulder, touching him with feathery light kisses while his praise poured over him like a warm piece of silk. “I can feel you, getting stronger by the second. I can see it, how much you need to overcome all the shit you’ve been dealt and really live…”
It was true, all of it, Leo knew him better than anyone. Touching him, Leo took over his body, inside and out, fucking him frustratingly slow, letting him feel each ridge, every vein as his cock slid inside his ass.
A hot breath on each spot he kissed, his hand gliding lightly over Mac’s chest and stomach, words piercing through the fog of lust he was surrounded in, Leo was the best lover he could have imagined, and he imagined plenty.
The years he’d gone, dreaming of having someone for more than a sweaty night. Someone he knew, their last name, the way they slurped coffee in the morning, no matter how refined they tried to act. Not to mention how beautiful they looked, covered in mud.
Leo’s hand wrapped Mac’s dick, controlling it like he was controlling the slow fucking of his ass. Mac trembled, the urge to scream out, beg for him to move faster strong, but he kept it inside, doing exactly what his man wanted.
“Good boy, Mac, you’re doing so well.”
It felt so good, so, so good. He was shaking from how good it felt, but what was more amazing, is that things had drifted from his head again. There was nothing running through his mind, no worries about the future of the ranch, no guilt, no thoughts that it might not last with Leo. Right then, it felt like forever, and it didn’t matter if that changed.
Right that moment, that was forever.
The soft lovemaking lasted a long time, but it didn’t end that way. He was pushed over to his hands and knees, so Leo could pound him from behind. There was a strong grip on his shoulders while Leo used that leverage to fuck him so hard his teeth rattled.
There were no words, but that didn’t mean Leo was silent. His deep, guttural grunts were driven into Mac like that beautiful black cock was, and the moment his lips parted with his own sex sounds, Leo’s hand slapped over his mouth, stifling him.
Without being able to express his adulation over the fucking, he had to keep it in, effectively keeping in the joy as well. It rose up, building like a capped volcano. He knew when that top blew, not even the tower of a man that Leo was could contain it.
Not that he wanted to. It was Leo that screamed out into the room that had only recently heard little but the dull snoring of his father, “Come! Come, McCully, right fucking now!”
Breaking, the rock shell of his existence cracked open and he shot like a rock shooting straight up from the mouth of the volcano, a long tail of fire following. His face fell to the bed, his body felt like it wasn’t his, quaking, then stiff, the air taken from his lungs, so Leo no longer had to cover his mouth.
Leo was holding him after, cradled like a baby in his arms, kissing his forehead, the sweat clinging to his lips only to be kissed to another part of his face. “Damn, McCully Blaylock, you kicked my ass with that one. Nearly tore my dick off, you clenched so hard when you came.”
He took in a long breath, one that burned his raw throat. “I ain’t sorry a bit.”
“I’m glad,” he laughed. “That’s something you never have to be sorry for, baby.”
He was covered with the sheet and quilt, Leo spooning up behind him, holding him while his mind and body slowed from the experience. “Leo…”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I don’t think I thanked ya. For this, surely, but for…for all o’ it. Ya came jus’ in time.”
Leo lay his face on Mac’s, so Mac could feel his jaw working as he spoke. “Your ancestor, the one that fought with Sam Houston, they had a saying, during that war. Remember the Alamo. They did that, used that for their chant to push their fight, to hold strong. Though they’d move on and keep fighting, they’d never forget that hard past. That’s what I want you to do, baby. Remember the Alamo. Remember your hard past but remember it’s exactly that, your past. We can have any future we want.”
Squeezing h
is eyes shut, he held onto those words like God himself had spoken them, and who knew? Maybe he was speaking through Leo. All Mac knew was that he never really believed all that much in the God his mother preached, and father acknowledged in order to use as a lecture when he’s normally brutish methods didn’t work.
He slept that way, in Leo’s embrace, with the peace of his personal Lord close by. He awoke to Leo’s grumbling, “I like it better when I wake up and know you already have the coffee ready. Am I a spoiled ass already or what?”
He chanced a nod as he said, “Yeah, but you deserve it.”
“Good, then make me coffee.”
Mac laughed heartily as he threw off the covers. “I’ll serve it to ya in bed, how’s that?”
“I knew you were a good man Mac.”
After grabbing his bag, he started rummaging through, looking for a clean pair of jeans, knowing he’d have to do a load of laundry at least, when Leo cleared his throat, getting his attention.
“What’sa matter?”
Leo was smirking, the deep lines around his lips making Mac want to laugh. “Go naked. Anytime you can be naked, I want you naked.”
“Leo! Yer kiddin’.”
“Not a bit. Go naked. That’s an order from the man who now controls your fine, naked ass.”
He’d never done mundane things naked before, even in his apartment. After showering, he even got dressed before he left the bathroom. “What if I spill?”
“I would suggest you don’t spill,” he teased, the smirk deepening, if possible. He hurried to the kitchen, feeling more than naked, he felt exposed. The first thing he did was to close the curtains over the sink, not that anyone would see him through it, but it helped.
He rushed to make the coffee, drumming his fingers on the counter while he caught his reflection in the door of the microwave above the stove. The wide grin on his face shocked him. He’d never seen it before, but he couldn’t have lost it if he tried.
He poured them both a cup before the maker stopped brewing, then was back in the bedroom where Leo was stretched out beautifully over the bed. “Even with the lumps, this bed is comfortable. How does that work?”
Remember the Alamo (Legacy Book 1) Page 8
