Rebel Cowbear (Lone Star Cowbears Book 1)

by Liv Brywood

  “Maybe we should have breakfast in bed,” he suggested in a seductive tone.

  “As much as I’d love to roll around in a mattress full of crumbs, I’ll have to pass. I’m supposed to be at the fairgrounds by ten a.m.”

  She stood and pulled on a robe before padding into the kitchen. Zack moved to stand behind her. He wrapped her in a hug and cuddled her against his chest. For a moment, she leaned into him, enjoying the feeling of strength that flowed through her. But she couldn’t rely on him to be by her side forever. The sooner she accepted it, the better.

  When she tried to pull away, he held her tighter.

  “I could get used to holding you like this,” he whispered against her earlobe. “You don’t have to leave. I meant what I said last night. I want you here. We can work this out.”

  “We can’t, not right now. It’s just…”

  “What?” he asked.

  “It’s just bad timing,” she said.

  “I’ve never been with anyone like you,” he said. “After last night, can you honestly say we’re not meant to be together?”

  “You have to help your family run this ranch, and I have a mother who needs my help. We can’t turn our backs on our obligations.”

  She slipped out of his embrace and sat at the table. She shoved a piece of bacon in her mouth. Screw fat grams. Now wasn’t the time to get bent out of shape over unhealthy food.

  A quick glance in his direction stopped her mid-bite. His slumped shoulders and forlorn expression pierced her heart. What had they done? They never should have let things get this far. She should have known better than to hop into bed with a sexy cowboy and not expect to lose her heart in the process.

  “I’m going to get washed up and change clothes before we go to the fairgrounds,” he said softly.

  “Don’t you want to eat?”

  “I’ll take it to go,” he said. “I’ll be back to pick you up in an hour.”

  She considered telling him that she could drive herself, but she couldn’t get the words out. Instead, she simply nodded.

  He dropped a dry kiss on her cheek before walking out of the cottage. His plate of food sat in the center of the table, untouched. She considered running after him, but she couldn’t move. Sadness kept her rooted in place. Why couldn’t she let him go? Why did she feel such an intense pull whenever he was near?

  She shook her head and pushed the plate away. She’d lost her appetite too. In an hour, he’d be back. She needed to use the time wisely and pack. Prolonging the agony of leaving was pointless. It was inevitable.

  The hour passed in a flurry of activity. She cleared the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and packed her bags. She’d just shoved the last suitcase into her car when Zack strolled over from the main house.

  “Are you ready to head over there?” he asked.

  “I was thinking…there’s no real reason for you to be there. I can drive myself. It will save me time because I won’t have to backtrack to get my car.”

  “I could follow you on my bike,” he said.

  “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

  “It doesn’t need to be like this,” he said. “I could drive out to Houston to visit you on the weekends. Or you could come here. We could switch off.”

  “No.”

  “Why not?” he demanded.

  “I already told you, my mom—”

  “Has cancer. I know,” he snapped. “But I could help you with her too.”

  “Until she’s cured, I won’t have time for anyone or anything else,” she said. “I wish you could respect that.”

  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

  “Please don’t be angry,” she said. “I was really hoping you’d understand.”

  “I’m not angry, I’m frustrated.” He took her hand in his and lifted it to his lips. After brushing a soft kiss across her knuckles, he sighed. “We could have been so good together.”

  “In another life, in other circumstances—maybe,” she said. “I have to go.”

  “I—” He dropped her hand. “Good luck with your mom. I hope she recovers.”

  “Thank you,” she choked out as she opened the car door. “I’ll never forget you.”

  As soon as she was situated, he closed the door. He stood in the center of the dirt road as she pulled away. She watched him in the rear view mirror until he faded into the trailing cloud of dust. She didn’t start sobbing until she hit the main road.

  The next two hours were a blur of photo shoots and interviews with newspapers and a local television station. Throughout the constant string of distractions, she couldn’t stop thinking about Zack. She was probably making the biggest mistake of her life by leaving him this way, but her mom would always come first. If her relationship with Zack was meant to be, then she would have found him before her mom had gotten sick. There was no point in wallowing in regret. The sooner she left town, the better.

  * * *

  Zack’s bear roared as he watched Kim drive away. The hollow pit in his stomach filled with sadness. He’d lost her. He’d lost his mate.

  He walked around the house to the front porch where he plopped down in a rocking chair. An hour passed, then another, as he stared down the empty road. He couldn’t bring himself to get up. He couldn’t move. The pain radiated throughout his entire body and tore at his soul.

  “You let her go?” Beth asked as she opened the front door and stepped onto the porch.

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’ve never seen you so torn up about a woman before,” Beth said. “You need to get your butt in the car and go after her. Don’t make the same mistake I did with Justin.”

  “I thought you were over him.”

  “Does anyone get over their first love?” she snapped. “You had a chance at love and you blew it.”

  “What’s your problem?” He gripped the arms of the rocking chair until his knuckles turned white. Sister or not, she had no right to talk to him about the choices he made.

  “I just…Love is rare,” she said. “It’s so hard for two people to meet and fall in love. When it happens, you should hold onto it and never let go.”

  “She’s not ready. She’s dealing with her mom and she lives too far away.”

  “She needs you,” Beth said. “She may not know it right now, but she does. You need to do whatever it takes to make her see it.”

  “It’s too late,” he said.

  Beth placed her hands on her hips and glared down at him.

  “Zack, are the Grants quitters?” she asked.

  “No.”

  “Then don’t quit. Find her. Tell her you love her. Convince her that you belong together. Don’t let the gift fate’s handed you slip through your fingers. Don’t do what I did,” she finished with a sigh.

  “You’re still in love with Justin?”

  “That’s ancient history,” she said with a wave of her hand. “This isn’t about me; it’s about you letting the love of your life walk away. How could you do that?”

  “You act like I haven’t tried. I did try and she rejected me,” he said.

  “Well then, try harder. When have you ever given up after the first try?” she asked.

  “Never.”

  “Exactly.”

  Beth turned and stomped back into the house, leaving him to stew alone. She was right. He’d never given up on anything before, so why start now? Although he’d already tried to convince Kim that they belonged together in a dozen different ways, he wouldn’t stop until he’d captured her heart.

  If he hurried, he could go to the fairgrounds before the photoshoot ended. She’d only left a few hours ago.

  He rushed to his bike and hopped on. After throttling it a few times, he raced down the dirt road toward his destiny. Bright green fields flashed by as he tore down the lane. When he reached town, he turned and headed toward the fairgrounds. He parked and raced toward the competition area. Then
he pulled up short.

  No! Everyone was gone. Several men were dismantling the stage while others grappled with electrical cords and set lights.

  “Excuse me,” he said to a man holding a clipboard.

  “Yeah.”

  “Have you seen Kim?” Zack asked.

  “Who?”

  “Kim, the woman that won the competition,” Zack said.

  “Oh, her. Yeah, they all took off about thirty minutes ago. I overheard her say something about going back to Houston.”

  “Dammit.”

  He turned and walked back to his bike. He’d have to find another way. A fire blazed in his heart, and she was the only one who could keep it burning. He needed her with a passion so deep, so intense that it nearly brought him to his knees. He’d be damned if he gave up now. No matter how long it took, he wouldn’t stop until he found her and claimed her forever.

  Chapter 16

  Dr. Hartfield’s sterile, depressing exam room reeked of industrial cleaning fluid. As bleach mingled with the scent of the death, Kim’s stomach rolled. One minute bled into the next until she couldn’t take it another second. She fidgeted in a lifeless plastic chair. When she slapped the magazine she’d been pretending to read down on the counter, her mom flinched. She leaned over from the exam table and grabbed Kim’s hand.

  “It’s going to be okay, honey. We’ll get through this,” her mom said.

  “What’s taking him so damn long?”

  “He’s a doctor, and I’m not his only patient.”

  “Well, I wish he’d hurry up. I don’t think I can wait in this room for much longer,” Kim said.

  Several minutes later, the door finally opened and Dr. Hartfield strolled in. He cradled her mom’s chart against his chest. “Thank you for waiting.”

  “As if we had a choice,” Kim grumbled.

  “Kim!”

  “It’s all right, Mrs. Paulson. I apologize for keeping you waiting. I asked you to come to the office because there’s been a development.”

  “What kind of development?” her mom asked.

  “You’re in remission,” he said. “You’re officially cancer-free.”

  Kim’s stomach dropped. Suddenly lightheaded, she swayed for a moment before recovering. Her mother took a big breath and released it.

  “I don’t understand,” Kim said. “Last week you told her that she needed another round of chemo. You said she still had cancer. What changed?”

  The doctor hesitated before responding. “I want you to know that we take our patients’ care very seriously in this practice. However, there was a mix-up at the lab and your test results were switched with another patient’s.”

  Blinding rage rose up to color her vision.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?!” Kim shouted.

  “Sweetie, calm down,” her mother said.

  “You can’t just fuck with someone’s life like that!” Kim hollered. “Do you know how much hell we’ve been through this past week? All because of you and your incompetent staff of idiots.”

  “I understand your frustration,” he said. “This has never happened before, so I had the lab run the tests again. We were able to confirm that you are cancer-free.”

  “How could you do this to us?” Kim asked. “How?”

  “We’re a competent medical facility,” he said. “We’ve helped hundreds of patients and their families.”

  “That’s good. I’m glad your practice is going well,” Kim said sarcastically, “Because you won’t be seeing this family ever again. Come on, Mom.” She took her mother’s hand and led her out of the office.

  “Kim,” her mother said when they were in the car. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “He misdiagnosed you. He let us think that you were going to die for a whole week. A week! That’s what’s wrong. I can’t believe that guy. Crazy, incompetent ass—”

  “Kim! Calm down. Pull over. I don’t want you driving when you’re mad.”

  “Fine!” Kim pulled into the parking lot of a supermarket.

  “We should be celebrating,” her mom said. “Why are you so angry?”

  “I spent a week under an incredible amount of stress. I thought you were dying. I thought that if I didn’t win the contest, we wouldn’t have enough money to put you through another round of chemo. But you were fine the whole time. The whole time!”

  “Oh, honey.” Her mom leaned over to give her a hug. “Let it go. Life’s too short to hold onto anger. Let’s celebrate. And afterward, you should call your cowboy friend and tell him the good news.”

  “He’s not my friend. We went our separate ways and we’re not getting back together,” Kim said.

  “I thought you told me that he wanted to spend more time with you.”

  “He did. But we’re too different. I told you that he can turn into a bear, right? We’re not even the same species. How could we possibly be together?”

  “I think you care about him a lot more than you’re letting on. I know you came home to help me, but I’m in remission. You have to think about yourself now. I’m fine, but now I need you to be fine, too.”

  Kim turned the car back on and headed home without responding. She should have been jumping at the chance to have Zack back in her life, but she wasn’t. She’d already spent the last week on an emotional rollercoaster and she needed a break. In a few months if she still thought about him all the time, she’d give him a call. But until then, she needed to focus on her own life.

  * * *

  Zack rang the doorbell on the small, ranch-style home. Although he’d triple-checked the address on his phone’s GPS, a swarm of nervous energy danced in his chest. His bear hadn’t stopped demanding that he find their mate. The moment she’d left, a huge rift had opened in his heart. She’d taken a piece of him with her and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to get it back.

  When she opened the door, the breath he’d been holding whooshed from his chest. She was a vision wrapped up in a pink dress. Matching high heels accentuated her gorgeous legs. His heart soared.

  “Zack? What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “Well, howdy to you, too.” He smiled.

  “Sorry. I’m just surprised.”

  “I should have called. Are you busy right now?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “I miss you,” he said.

  “It’s only been a week since you last saw me,” she said.

  “I know. I should have come sooner, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want me here.”

  He waited for a response, but she didn’t speak. Instead she slowly moved into his arms. He pulled her tight against his chest. The coconut scent of her hair drove his bear crazy. He wanted to tear a hole in Zack’s chest and wrap his big, furry paws around his mate.

  “I shouldn’t have let you leave the ranch,” he murmured. “That was the second stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

  “The second?”

  “Mm-hmm,” he whispered as he pressed his cheek to hers.

  “What’s the first?” she asked.

  “Not ever telling you how much I love you.”

  “I thought you didn’t do relationships,” she said. “What happened to the love-‘em and leave-‘em man I met the first day at the ranch?”

  “I changed. You changed me. Everything I thought I wanted wasn’t enough. I was missing one thing.”

  “What were you missing?” she asked.

  “You.”

  He leaned down and brushed his lips across hers. When she sighed, he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her close for a soul-melting kiss. She went limp against him. A soft moan escaped her lips. He deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue between her lips. She whimpered and arched against him. Heat radiated out from every place their bodies met.

  As he slowly broke the kiss, she tilted her head up to gaze at him with shimmering eyes. He swiped the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. She shivered.

  “I need you in my life,” he said. “Without you,
I’ll never be able to enjoy living. You’re the air that I breathe and the life raft that keeps me from drowning. I need you, Kim. I love you.”

  When she didn’t respond, his heart dropped. Maybe he’d waited too long. Maybe the intensity of their connection had faded over the last week. He should have come sooner. He shouldn’t have given her a reason to walk away.

  “Say something to the man!” a woman’s voice shouted from a window by the front door.

  “Oh, God.” Kim chuckled.

  “Who’s that?” he asked.

  “My mom.”

  “How’s she doing?” he asked.

  “She’s in remission.”

  “She is? That’s incredible,” he said.

  “Invite him in,” her mom commanded from the window.

  “Thanks Mom, but I think I can handle this myself.”

  “Then you can at least act respectably and let him inside,” her mom said.

  “Mom!” Kim turned around to shoo her away. “Can you give us some privacy?”

  While Kim had her back to him, he decided to just go for it. Why not get right to the point and tell her exactly how he felt?

  He pulled a small, Tiffany-blue ring box from his back pocket. He wobbled slightly as he got down on one knee. The tempo of his heart kicked harder than a bucking bronco.

  “I should invite you in before—” Kim’s eyes widened as she turned to face him. “Zack!”

  He didn’t want to give her a chance to overthink things, so he launched right into the speech he’d been practicing the entire ride over.

  “I know we haven’t known each other for very long. And I know the timing on this is probably terrible, but I can’t go another day without knowing where I stand with you. We didn’t part on the best terms, but let’s forget all of that. I can’t think of anything but you. We had an incredible time together last week and I never want it to end.

  “I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. You’re smart and funny and challenging. And we both love cooking, so that’s a huge plus.”

  Kim laughed nervously as she let him take her trembling hand.

  “Kim Paulson, you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, and I can’t imagine my life without you. I promise to love you and take care of you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”