“Stop that. Tell me something.” She groaned, threw her head back and was moanin’, then put her head back to my shoulder. “Cruachan.”
“Aye. I love it when ye say it.”
“Talk to me. Tell me about when you were a boy.”
“Once, when I was verra young, I hadna been called tae London yet, Sean and I stole a boat, one of Uncle Baldie’s. Have I told ye this story?” I paused, but she didn’t answer. She shifted the placement of her head.
“Sean and I kent we were good at sailin’ so we went out, the wind drivin’ us in a straight line, as far as we could go. We were laughin’ and havin’ so much fun.”
She groaned again, deep and guttural, raisin’ up before collapsin’ on me again.
“Want me tae keep tellin’ it?”
Her head nodded up and down against my chest.
“We were at the end of the day and we realized we had tae turn for home. But the wind had turned. We had tae tack back and forth across the loch, and Sean grew verra tired. We were nae strong enough tae get the boat home.”
Kaitlyn moaned, said, “Cruachan,” and then panted. “I don’t want to have my baby in a closet.”
Emma said, “I get that, but I want to be truthful, sweetie, you are not going to make it to the hospital. It’s a regular shit show out there, worse than before and—”
“Is the baby going to be okay…? Born… in a closet…”
“Of course, of course the baby is going to be okay. Closets are super safe places for a baby. Think of the room where Lizbeth gave birth and compare it to this room. The baby is going to be great. Look at my big box of stuff.”
Kaitlyn shifted her head tae look and then returned her forehead pressin’ against m’neck.
She moaned again. “Why aren’t you talking?”
I continued. “Sean landed the boat and it took us two days tae walk home. Did ye ken what we—”
Kaitlyn said, “Wheesht.”
I stopped talking. “What dost...?”
“Be... mountain.”
“Aye. Tis a stupid story anyway.” I kissed her forehead.
She waved her hand around her lower back. “Emma can you...?”
Emma pressed her palms tae the spot.
Kaitlyn said, “Harder.”
Emma pressed.
“More.”
“I don’t know, Katie, maybe Magnus would be better at this, that’s a lot of—”
“Can’t... mountain.”
We had tae do this for a verra long time until she raised up and made gruntin’ noises beside my ear.
Then she burst intae tears. “I don’t want to do it anymore.”
“I ken.”
“No, you don’t ken, this sucks, I’m done. This is total bullshit, I’m not doing it.”
I nodded.
She said, “No no no no no no no,” and then, “Fucking sucks. Why aren’t I in the fucking hospital? I’m supposed to be in the hospital.”
The crown of her head against the wall, she groaned, long and low, and then panted. “No.”
She added, “I don’t want to.”
She raised all the way up, legs straight, bowed over me, groaning and moaning for a long time, then collapsed down. Resting, she joked, “Fucking ass in the air like couples yoga.”
“Aye.”
She peeled off her pants and her underwear.
She began tae groan a different sound, one risin’ from deep inside, then grunts that sounded like somethin’ I had never heard afore, then panting, and then speakin’ tae God in a litany that lasted for many long moments, without a rest, and she raised up using my shoulders tae hold herself up, and emitted a long wail.
Then, “Oh my god, the baby, the baby!”
Emma’s voice from behind her, “I see her, her head is out.”
Kaitlyn breathed in and out and then grunted again, long and pressing against me and raising up on her arms. Emma was piling towels around my lap and around Kaitlyn’s legs.
Then Kaitlyn raised up with a long low grunt and pushed the bairn intae my waitin’ hands.
She collapsed against me and the wall. “Is she okay? Is she okay? God, please let her be okay.”
Emma said, “She looks perfect.” She helped Kaitlyn sink down from her feet to the floor, leanin’ against my chest, and then she helped get the bairn from m’hands tae Kaitlyn’s chest.
Kaitlyn burst intae tears. The baby burst intae tears. Kaitlyn said, “Is she okay? I’m sorry I didn’t get you to the hospital, I’m so sorry.”
Emma said, “She really is perfect, look at her. Take a long look.”
Kaitlyn sobbed while checking the crying bairn. Then finally she looked up at me, “She has wee fingers.”
“Aye.” I pressed m’mouth tae Kaitlyn’s temple. “She is verra wee.” I chuckled. “She has verra big lungs.”
Kaitlyn looked up at me. “I made her. I made her and I pushed her out of my wazoo without an epidural.”
Emma started laughing. “I can’t believe you did it.”
“What? You told me I could do it! You’re the one I’ve been listening to about it.”
Emma said, “I know, I can’t believe I was that persuasive. All I can say is phew.”
The bairn quieted and Kaitlyn whispered, “Hi little one, I’m your mommy. I freaking did it, I’m a goddess of birthing babies. A goddess. The motherfucking matriarch of your family. And I’m going to be your protector and champion. Oh yeah, and your daddy might be one too.” She grinned up at me, her eyes sparkling in the glow of the lantern light. “See what I did there?”
“Aye, I see what ye did.”
Thirty-seven - Kaitlyn
With the storm still wailing outside, Emma went to get Archie. He came in, having been warned to be very quiet, and said very seriously. “Baby?”
I said, “This is the baby I was telling you about. This is your baby sister, her name is Isla.”
He crouched beside me on his wee little legs. “I-wa?”
“Exactly.” I explained, “You can hold her hand. See?”
He held her wee hand, his little toddler fingers holding little newborn fingers, and then leaned forward and kissed her little forehead and then he funnily climbed onto me, clumsily making room for his whole self to fit beside her, weighing me down, all of us against Magnus’s chest. I said, “Well this is a pile of humans we have here. “
“Ah yes, tis a verra large family we are growin’.”
Emma was still poring over her book on emergency childbirth, flipping through the pages, occasionally checking the baby, also checking the placenta which she declared, “Perfect!”
“Really? No issues?”
“Nope.” She let Archie choose the string to tie the cord with and she tied it and cut it. And then bustled around cleaning up the disgusting towels. “You know, I’m just going to toss these, we can call it an insurance loss. It’s a disaster area in here.”
I giggled. Unable to take my eyes off this little being’s face — all sweetness. She looked up at me with big eyes, and then slowly closed them and fell asleep.
Archie said, “Baby sweepy.”
Ben rushed in, “Baby!” Then he and Archie held hands with the baby, rubbing their little thumbs on the back of her wee hands and oohing and ahhing. I was surrounded by the arms of my husband, lying on his strong chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heart, a rumble of a life force, much like the mountain. He had been perfectly mountain-like. I held my sweet Isla, a new weight in my arms, her steady breathing filling me with confidence.
Emma gently said, “See if she’ll nurse.” I lifted my shirt and the baby took my breast, which was at once insane and sort of ordinary, like what the heck is going on? But also, hey, nursing a baby here with my boob. Archie was fascinated but also, just kind of like, sure, the baby is nursing.
Ben told Emma, “Baby get nursies.”
She said, “Of course.” I nestled in, enjoying the quiet of our closet compared to the roaring hum of the outside storm
and slowly fell asleep.
I woke up later to quiet, finally. Magnus adjusting my shoulders so he could slide from under me to stand. “I am sorry I woke ye mo reul-iuil.”
“No worries.” No one else was in the closet now. “We have a baby,” I added because it was a little surprising to find her in my arms.
“I ken, she is beautiful.”
“She is.” I leaned up so he could stand. “Is the storm over?”
“Aye,” he propped pillows behind my back. “I will be back in a few moments, let me see the damage.”
While he was gone I watched the baby sleeping and kind of thought that might be something I would never get tired of doing.
Magnus returned. “We are missin’ part of our roof.”
“Can’t believe we sent our contractor to the eighteenth century, right when we need him.”
“Aye, most of the damage is in the front room, and the entrance hall. There is a great deal of water. Quentin is swabbin’ the deck. Zach and the boys are clearin’ the house of the tree limbs.”
“I’m famished, and I need to pee, like... so bad.”
He lifted the baby into the nook of his arm and hoisted me up. “Whoa,” I wobbled to my feet, naked from the waist down, and frankly... “Oh no, my legs look like a crime scene.” I glanced back at the towels. “Ugh. Gross. Don’t look at any of that.” He held onto me as I went to the bathroom, staggering a little. “You don’t have to—”
“I do, Madame Emma has told me tae hold ontae ye in case ye fall, I mean tae do it.”
“But you have to hold Isla.”
“I can hold both of ye.”
I clutched his arm — I did need it.
Magnus helped me lower down to the toilet and beside it was a pile of clean clothes including underwear and a gigantic maxi pad. He stood in the hallway staring sweetly down at the baby while I tried to decide whether to wash my whole body with baby wipes or actually get in the shower, except there was no water because of this dumb hurricane. Sigh. I used baby wipes to clean my legs, plastered a maxi pad inside my underwear, and pulled on sweatpants and a clean shirt. But then I couldn’t get up off the toilet. “I need my bed, I need food, but it’s all so far away, and I’m tired!” I pretend wailed, but like a lot of things about childbirth, that sliver of space between I can do this and this is fucking unbelievably terrible was razor thin.
Magnus said, “Wait there, mo reul-iuil.” He disappeared down the hall to our room, then returned to the bathroom without Isla. He lifted me from the toilet as I got my pants up and carried me in his arms, down the dark hallway — sideways so I didn’t bang. He had to be careful not to trip over the pile of shoes we had shoved out of the closet. He got me to our bed where little Isla was waiting in the middle and placed me down beside her. “I will go get ye somethin’ tae eat.”
He left the room, leaving me wrapped around the little baby, staring at her angelic face.
Moments later he returned with a bowl of yogurt filled with chocolate granola and blueberries. I piled pillows behind me and sat up to eat with the sleeping baby beside me. “Thank you, I was desperately hungry.”
“Zach said he will be cooking steaks upon the grill tonight.” He sat down on the bed beside me. “I wish ye could see the sky, there is a rainbow from one end to the other.”
“There is? We had our rainbow baby and now there’s a rainbow in the sky? That seems magical.”
“Aye, tis beautiful, stretches from here tae Scotland, and remember when ye told me that we were all alive at the same time?”
“Yes, the multiverse.”
“Well, I think Lizbeth is lookin’ up at this same rainbow from the Balloch courtyard and she kens ye are a mother now.”
I smiled. “She’s standing there shaking her head, saying, ‘Kaitlyn, why did you go and do that for?’”
“Much like that, but she means ye tae ken she is proud of ye.”
“Yeah, probably. I do miss her.”
Emma knocked softly on the door. “Katie?”
“Come in!”
She carried in a jug of drinking water with two cups and placed it on the nightstand. “How’s baby?”
“Great. Sleepy. Do we need to take her to the hospital?”
“The road is still impassable, we’ll keep calling to see if they have any idea when, but I think the crews are so busy right now — she really is fine.”
I chewed some more granola. “It’s like I had a medieval birth right here in my Florida mansion, how crazy is that?”
Emma said, “Not that crazy, lots of people choose to.”
“They’re maniacs. What kind of nut job wants to do that without an epidural?”
“I’ll remind you, you just did it without the epidural, a few hours and boom, over, would you do it again?”
“Hell no.” Then I looked down at the baby and added, “Probably, yeah.”
Magnus grinned.
Emma gave me a glass of something.
“What is this for?”
“That will restore your electrolytes, here’s some vitamins too.” She unscrewed some bottles and poured a couple of tablets in my hand.
“More of your potions, huh?”
“Absolutely, Quentin said it was working during the time jumps, not perfectly, and there was the hurricane of course, but he said it was almost bearable.”
“Almost bearable is such an improvement over fucking unbearable.”
“As soon as she wakes up, nurse her again. Tell me if you need help. Can Archie come in, he’s asking for you?”
“Absolutely, tell him to come.”
Archie bustled in a few moments later and crawled into bed. He put his little paw on my face and said, “Kay-be and baby.” Then he giggled and said, “Go tell Ben.” He climbed off the bed and rushed away.
I yelled after him, “Archie!”
He stopped in mid run.
“You can come in any time you want to.”
“Kay!” He ran away.
Thirty-eight - Kaitlyn
I stayed there, laying on the bed, under all the covers in the darkness, listening to the sounds of the house. It was bustling but the sounds of electricity, civilization, the hum of the house were gone. It was an otherworldly quiet broken by Zach calling to Magnus and Magnus calling to Quentin from one part of the house to the other as they tried to restore a little order to what the storm had done.
Meanwhile I curled up with the baby and nursed and slept and did it again. Archie ran in much later and said, “I sweepy.” He was already wearing his footed pajamas. I pulled the blankets up so he could climb in his favorite spot. I kept the baby in the crook of my arm.
It was hard to believe I still wanted to sleep, but I did, that had been a hell of a day.
Magnus came in and it was late. He whispered, “Zach and Quentin tried tae begin the generator, but twill be the morrow afore it is runnin’.” The room was dark and the lamplight dim.
“That’s fine, we’ve lived without electricity before.”
“We hae always had a roof though, tis the first time I can see the stars in the sky from inside the house.”
“Did you wave up at the courageous man exploring the stars?”
“I did. And I believe he waved down at us, too. He was relieved tae see us still standin’. Twas a day of verra big events.” He pulled on his pajamas, climbed into bed beside Isla, and kissed the top of her head. Then he lifted his chin to receive the kiss that was waiting on my lips.
His fingers smoothed the hair back from my face. “I daena think I hae ever seen ye so beautiful.”
“Really? I haven’t showered and... Really?”
“Really, mo reul-iuil. M’heart is overflowin’.”
“That is a really nice thing to say to me. But it can’t possibly be true. I have been way more beautiful.”
“Tis true. Until this day I had m’top three. But this day ye hae eclipsed them all.” He grinned.
Our master bedroom still had plywood covering the windows.
The battery-powered lantern on the nightstand glowed on its dimmest setting. There were our two children in the bed with us, so we were speaking in hushed tones, our faces close, the baby between us, my hand on Isla’s shoulder, Magnus’s hand on her leg. Sweet little breaths as she slept off the journey of her lifetime.
“Name them, I could use the compliments.”
“Ye were verra beautiful afore we were married, but I like tae think that becomin’ m’wife gave ye more beauty, twas yer true callin’ as ye ken.”
“My true calling, dear god, how old school of you,” I teased. “Go on...”
“The first most beautiful moment of ye, was when ye were standin’ afore me after ye married me.”
“Beside the bed, before we...?”
“Aye, ye were glowin’ in the candlelight beside the bed, and I was takin’ yer dress off and I looked up at ye, I was sittin’ on the bed if ye remember—”
“Oh, I remember, and this is awesome, keep going, please.”
“That ye were mine made it difficult tae breathe.”
I smiled. “More.”
“Your other most beautiful time was when we were in Scotland and I was leading your horse and we were goin’...” His face screwed up. “Dost ye remember it? The green hills… in m’memory tis the trail tae Kilchurn but ye hae never gone…?”
“I do remember it, but it wasn’t you, it was old Magnus.”
His brow furrowed. “I can see ye, my hand, the reins from it, and then looking back from my horse tae yers and ye were smilin’ at me as we rode and the mountains — aye, twas Ben Cruachan behind us... and...”
I ran my fingers down his face. “I remember, I don’t know how you have that memory, but I am very glad you do. We are entangled, maybe, that might be the only explanation we have. But it’s enough. And I like the idea that you thought I was so beautiful that you remember me in all your lifetimes.”
His furrowed brow released and relaxed. He breathed. “I remember that moment verra often but I hadna thought it through, that it is nae a true memory, tis vague and I canna fully remember it. Tis more like a feelin’ that ye are with me and we hae the mountains in the background.”
Our Shared Horizon (Kaitlyn and the Highlander Book 10) Page 17
