It’s super awkward when he comes over, carrying a little bag with some medical supplies. He tells me a family friend in the clan who’s a doctor taught him how to correctly take a blood sample and that he’s going to take the sample back and they’ll test it for the shifter gene.
He swabs my arm and I smile wryly. “Is like a 23andMe thing? Is it going to show me like what percentage of what clan I am?”
“No,” Aaron says. “But that would be a really cool blood test for shifters. I wonder if anyone’s working on that...”
Aaron pricks me quick with the needle and I watch my blood fill up a little vial.
“The truth is,” Aaron says, “there are probably lots of people with this shifter gene, we just haven’t known about them. Anyone who’s even distantly related to that scientist’s daughter would have the gene.”
“I miss you,” I blurt out. Because hell, it’s the truth.
“Sweetheart-”
“I just need more time,” I say softly, as he presses a Band-Aid to the fresh nick on my arm. “But don’t be fooled, Aaron. I miss you so much it hurts.”
“I’ll give you all the time you need,” he says, and kisses me chastely on the cheek.
“It’s hard for you to be apart from me, isn’t it?” I say, rubbing my tummy. “That’s what you meant when you said you had to be near me? Does it hurt? Like physically?”
I see Aaron’s eyelashes flutter. He seems to be trying to figure out how much he should say.
“It’s like I’m dying,” he whispers.
Chapter Sixteen: Aaron
I’ve been losing my mind.
Any shifter doctor worth his salt will tell you that the father must stay close to the mate as much as possible during her pregnancy, most especially in the beginning. I couldn’t figure how to properly get this across to Michelle and I’ve put her through so much already. But staying out of contact with the mate for long can have potentially severe consequences. My brothers keep reminded me of this, as if I might forget.
The attack on her isn’t helping me feel any calmer either. The question of who would hurt my mate is preying on my mind. While there were voices at the pack meeting that were a little more hostile, like the Didions, it’s difficult to believe that anyone would dare mess with us Tremblays. I also know the coloring of every pack and those dull, brown wolves weren’t familiar to me. I have to solve that mystery and make sure Michelle never gets hurt again. But first, I have to get this blood tested.
When I go to Michelle’s to administer her blood test, it’s like guzzling water in the middle of the desert. I’ve already been feeling off. Nothing severe yet, just that constant itchy feeling in my head as if I know I’ve forgotten something and I can’t remember what.
It helps to be near her scent at least, and now I’m grateful she left her bra behind. It would seem creepy to a human but sometimes that scent she left behind feels like the only thing that might keep me grounded.
What I’m really worried about is how our self-imposed distance might affect Michelle or the baby. Her case is so unique with her being human or half-human or whatever the right term would be. There’s no precedent which, for our case is good, but it’s scary on medical grounds.
I’m mulling over this, feeling better as I go straight from Michelle’s place to Xander’s where the shifter doctor we found via the Shermans is waiting.
I had to be talked into using the doctor the Shermans recommended. Xander tells me I’m more possessive and a little more paranoid than usual due to the hormonal changes with Michelle’s pregnancy. Okay, fine. I’m still having a hard time trusting anyone outside the pack. The saving grace is that it was the Sherman elder who suggested to the others that because Michelle isn’t fully human, nothing should legally stand in the way of us being together. That speaks well of the Shermans. Xander left that call to me, probably because I was about to fight my brothers one by one if they didn’t let me make decisions concerning my life, mate, and child.
In the car, I drink a lot of water, because Mason told me he read that hydration could stave off the affects of being away from Michelle. Anyway, it can’t hurt.
If pulling into my parent’s driveway brings back all the old childhood dynamics, pulling into Xander’s driveway is much more intimidating.
All of us Tremblays have some family money, and those pockets run deep. But as head of The Tremblay Company, Xander is on another level than the rest of us. His mansion sits on a cliff overlooking Quinton. It’s a modern masterpiece of sharp stone blocks and glass walls and a guest room for every brother and then some. He had it built for himself after his first year as CEO. It’s a masterpiece though, and as my dad too often likes to remind him, it’s mostly empty. Xander’s been close to finding and keeping a mate a couple times but something’s always stood in the way. I suspect that thing is Xander but when any of us suggest that, we get a growl and a look of warning.
All my brothers are waiting for me when I get to Xander’s. Yet I don’t feel that pressure at having been ‘late’. In fact, I don’t care at all what my brothers are thinking about me. I guess it took something as big as this situation with Michelle for me to let go of the hang-ups I had about being the youngest Tremblay wolf.
The doctor is supposed to be meeting us here, but I only see my brothers so far. I tap the vial of Michelle’s blood with my fingernail. It might sound eerie, but holding on to her blood is also keeping me grounded, I think. Though I won’t be eager to let it go to a stranger, even if he was recommended to us through a friend.
“How’re you holding up?” Mason says.
“Doing just fine,” I say, feeling just a little bit prickly.
Xander speaks up behind him, and steps around Mason, handing me a tumbler of scotch. “I think he means as far as having to be away from Michelle?”
I’d texted them, letting them know the situation in general.
I swallow and take a sip, letting the burn of the alcohol soothe me. There’s no way to hide what I’m going through. All I can do is withstand it, but I don’t break eye contact with Xander. “It’s difficult,” I say. “But I’ll be just fine.”
“I wouldn’t be holding up as well as you are,” Xander says.
I blink at my brother. I can’t imagine a more surprising sentence coming from the alpha. I have to think he’s just being nice except that Xander is never just nice.
“Why do you say that?” I ask.
He nods at the smooth gray chaise in the center of his lounge and we have seat. Mason seems to get the sense that this conversation is for the two of us, and joins Micah, who nods at me from across the room. Xander’s lounge is all high ceilings and stark white walls decorated with the sporadic piece of contemporary art. There’s an abstract sculpture of something that almost looks like a wolf, a nod to the more traditional piece back at the estate. He considers himself a collector. His love of art is one of his quieter, more surprising qualities, I guess.
Xander takes a good sip of his own drink and leans on one hand. “I’ve been talking to this doctor the Shermans recommended to us. We ended up having a long conversation.”
“Hmm?”
I don’t understand what this has to do with how well he’d handle a mate’s pregnancy and I’m feeling antsy again, even with Michelle’s blood in my hand. I can’t stop thinking about how she is. Is she eating enough? I should have asked. I should have bought groceries. She needs a lot of protein…
“The doc told me that the stronger the shifter male, the worse he handles distance from a mate at this stage,” Xander says, smiling almost mischievously. “Your natural instincts to protect your mate, to secure the safety of your offspring, your bravery, all your instincts… The stronger those qualities are, the worse you handle it. And I can see you’re about losing your mind right now, brother.”
I realize, he was complimenting himself before. But that doesn’t take away from what he’s implying about me. I feel as if he’s just given me permission to admit what I’m f
eeling and I sigh and shake my head.
“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through,” I mutter. “It’s like there are insects crawling around in my head. I question everything. I have the urge to call her constantly and make sure she’s safe. It’s an obsession. And I can’t. I really can’t, not with how things are. She’d see it as me being…well, obsessive. I have to give her some time. None of this is her fault. And the last thing she needs right now is aggravation. So I just deal with it. And it’s hell.”
Xander slings an arm around me and squeezes my shoulder. “You’re very wise, you know.”
I toss him a nod. “Thanks, brother.”
“I’m going to tell you something,” Xander says quietly, leaning in. He glances over his shoulder as if making sure Mason and Micah can’t hear us. “And you can’t ever tell the others that I told you this. But it’s absolutely true.”
I take another sip of scotch, and it’s just starting to take the edge off. I nod at Xander for him to continue.
“Mason,” Xander says. “His strength is quiet. And significant, but it comes from being observant. He’s like…a rock. Steady. When he needs to fight, of course, he’s right there. And then Micah, he’s fiery, but he can be reckless. But you…” Xander shakes his head, smiling softly.
“What about me?” I say.
“If I wasn't the alpha,” Xander says, “you would be.”
I only snort at that. There are cases, certainly, where the younger in a pack is the alpha. But it’s not common. I’ve stood up to my brothers plenty, but I have a hard time imagining myself really giving them orders. It’s just never been that way. “Yeah, right.”
“I’m dead serious, Aaron,” Xander says. “You know how I know?”
“How’s that?”
“We’ve talked about it,” Xander says. “We said we’d never tell you about it. I dunno why. I thought it would mess with the dynamic. But we had a conversation once. Mason said if something ever happened to me and he was called to be the alpha, he would step down and recommend you and Micah agreed.”
I’m so shocked, I can’t think of a single thing to say. I turn my head and watch my brothers, casually chatting as they sip their drinks across the room.
The thing is, Xander doesn’t lie. He considers true strength to take place in honesty and he’s virulent about it. But he also didn’t have to tell me this. It’s a kind of gift from him, a peace offering.
I have to treat it as such.
“Well, I won’t let it go to my head,” I say, and grant him a smile.
“See that you don’t.” But he winks at that.
The doorbell rings and Xander’s butler answers.
The doctor has arrived.
Dr. Bridges is the most un-shifter looking person I’ve ever seen. I’d never suspect he was a wolf in a thousand years. Most shifters I know are pretty formidable men and women. We’re sizeable usually. We don’t look like anyone you’d want to mess with. Dr. Bridges just looks like…a guy. He’s a little short and he wears wire-rim glasses and he has a receding hairline. But he looks serious, a medical bag in his hand. And he gets right down to business. I assume Xander has briefed him on the situation.
“How do you do, gentlemen?” He shakes each of our hands. “You have the blood sample?”
“Yeah.” I hand it over and he eyes it for a moment. “I must say, when this was all described to me, I was quite shocked. I’ve heard speculation about the case of the scientist’s daughter who was bitten. But I’ve never seen proof of this shifter gene.”
“But you have a test that will reveal it?” I say.
“Yes, we look at shifter genes all the time,” he says, shrugging. “So we know what to look for. All I have to do is pick the gene out from among the human ones. I must admit…the prospect is quite exciting. On a purely scientific level.”
It’s probably because I’m punchy, especially once I have to hand over Michelle’s blood, but I can’t help but growl a little bit. “I’m glad you’re having a nice time,” I say. “This is life and death for my mate.”
“Easy, brother,” Mason murmurs.
But the doctor seems to understand. “My apologies,” he says. He nods to the dining table by the glass wall that looks out on Xander’s pool. “Shall we?”
We follow him to the table and he begins unpacking his supplies. He’s got several other vials, a couple syringes, and a microscope. I’d imagined that the sample would need to be taken to a lab or something.
Xander all but shoves me into a chair and I glower at him. “Sorry about my brother,” Xander says. “He’s having a hard time being away from his mate right now.”
“No no, I understand,” Bridges says, as he pulls on latex gloves. “I’ve studied shifter pregnancies extensively. You must be going through it alright,” he says to me. “Hopefully, we’ll discover a shifter gene in this sample. And then perhaps, something can be worked out. Of course, that’s…up to you to decide.” He smiles tightly, uncertain.
My blood feels like it’s making my skin too tight suddenly. I’ve been reassuring myself since the prospect came up, that Michelle would have the shifter gene, simply because it’s the theory that makes the most sense to me. There are cases of shifters who don’t know they are shifters, their ability to shift lying dormant within them until its comes awake in adulthood or is catalyzed by some event. But we can usually smell each other out regardless. And there’s never been a known case of a full human being impregnated by a shifter.
Still, now that the moment of truth is upon me, I feel a palpable anxiety. My brothers crowd behind me, patting me on the shoulder, muttering that everything’s going to be alright, as we watch Bridges drop blood on a slide and add various chemicals before sealing the slide and putting it under the microscope.
The wait for him to give us the verdict is likely not more than a minute, but it feels interminable to me.
“Fascinating,” Bridges whispers. “Absolutely fascinating.”
“You wanna enlighten us, doc?” Mason pipes up behind me.
“This is the blood,” Bridges says, “of a woman who is both human and shifter. It’s as if the human genes have merged with shifter genes. I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it for myself.”
I let a breath out all at once, rubbing the tension out of my forehead.
She’s one of us. Thank God.
“But,” Micah says, “she can’t shift herself?”
“No,” the doctor says slowly. “If she’s never shifted, I suspect her human DNA is creating a kind of resistance to the shifting abilities. ‘Course, it’s hard to say, since this is so unprecedented.”
Xander says, “Traditionally, they would have said that if you can’t shift, you’re not a shifter…”
That gets my blood up and I flash him a look of warning. “And they used to leave pups out in the snow to make them shift for the first time too. We don’t follow all the old traditions.”
“What about his child?” Xander says. “Will his child be able to shift?”
“Impossible to say,” the doctor says, taking off his gloves. “I’d say there’s a fifty-fifty chance either way.”
“Well, that’s helpful,” Micah says.
I stand and come around to shake Bridges’ hand. And on the note of tradition, shifters never used to shake hands. It was considered much too human of a behavior. But things do change after all.
“Thanks very much, doctor,” I say. “You’ve been a big help.”
Bridges gives me his card. “If your reaction to this distance from your mate gets to be too much,” he says, “give me a call.”
I probably won’t but I only nod and pocket the card. “I will. Thanks.”
When he’s gone, the immensity of relief I feel is overwhelming. The only obstacle to the life I’ve wanted for so long is Michelle herself. But I have faith in our life. Or rather, I have faith in us. Of course, all these revelations have been shocking. But we love each other. She’ll come around, if I
’m careful and don’t overwhelm her.
“Congratulations,” Mason says, clapping me on the back. “What a relief, huh?”
I’m about to answer when Xander says, “Let’s not count our chickens, alright? The elders and alphas will still need to have another vote on this.”
“And how will you be voting?” I snap, whipping around to face him.
The way he talked about tradition and asked if our child would be able to shift was just a little too much for me. Xander might not lie, but that doesn’t mean he’s not manipulative. I can’t help but wonder now if he was trying to butter me up telling me that despite my birth ranking, I’d be the first choice for alpha after him.
Xander looks me in the eye and says, “I don’t know yet.”
Were I in a better frame of mind, maybe I could take a step back and see how seriously Xander is taking this, that he has to put his job as the alpha of the most powerful pack in the clan first and his loyalty to his brother second. But I can’t think about that. All I can think about is how I want to tear him limb from limb right now for even suggesting that he might betray me.
“You don’t know yet?” I say slowly.
“This has never happened before, Aaron,” Xander says calmly. “It deserves consideration.”
Micah all but steps between us and says, “Okay, guys. How about we consider it separately then? Lotta hot heads in this room right now.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Xander says. He’s not looking away so neither am I. It’s the whole ‘establish dominance with sustained eye contact’ routine again. Xander practically wrote the book, but I’m not going to break.
Which means it takes forever for me to leave.
I peel out of Xander’s driveway when I go, and if I leave black skid marks on his pristine driveway, well, so much the better.
By the time I get home, all my relief has turned bitter in my mouth. Now I’m just pissed at Xander. If my own brother is going to vote against me, despite having the evidence I was told was all I needed to gain the family that’s mine, then what hope do I have left?
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