This had thrown them all into a tailspin, even Avery, who had been the keeper of her secrets.
“I need to explain.” Avery shook free from his hand. “I’m not sure what to tell her or how to explain but I can’t let her just walk away like this.”
“I think she needs a few seconds to think and process everything.” He kept his voice low, wishing his father, the judge, wasn’t a witness.
“You’re the parenting expert now?” Avery replied as she moved to the steps. She did not keep her tone low.
“No, I’m not. I just know that sometimes a person needs time alone to breathe.”
“Let’s all just take a minute,” Grayson’s dad chimed in. He’d remained unusually quiet throughout the drama. He moved closer now, with Nina helping him on his walker.
He took a seat on an old bench. His speech was still halting and he hadn’t regained full use of his left side.
Avery took a few deep breaths. “I only wanted to give my daughter stability. Now, instead, I’ve given her a father who will be in and out of her life. A father who couldn’t even call me to let me know he was leaving town.”
What she really meant to say, he guessed, was that if she couldn’t trust him, how could she trust him with their daughter? She had a valid point.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know this isn’t what you wanted but it’s what we have. I’m going to be in my daughter’s life.”
“Part-time,” she said with a sadness in her green eyes that derailed any objections he might have had to her words.
She stared after Quinn. The girl had walked a good distance from the house, his dad’s old basset hound at her side. She plopped herself down in the grass and the dog, only a foot tall but three feet long, crawled onto her lap.
A hint of a smile curved Avery’s lips. Her hair had come loose from the bun that had held it in place that morning. The pale pink scrubs with kittens she wore were adorable. She was a beautiful woman who had kept him from his child.
From that truth, resentment grew.
“This is new territory for both of us,” he offered, working really hard to be patient and to remember she had a lot of reasons to not trust him. He’d had to learn to trust himself, so it made sense.
“Stop trying to placate me.” Her voice was an edgy whisper.
“You’ll need to work out custody and child support,” Grayson’s dad said, ever the judge.
“Not now, Dad.”
“I don’t want child support. I don’t need it,” Avery insisted. “And Mathias Stone, you do not have a right to give advice. You’re part of the reason we’re in this situation.”
“What does that mean?” Grayson asked as he looked from Avery to his father.
“Ask him,” Avery said.
“I will, but I’ll do it later.”
Avery walked down the steps to the yard. “Fine. For the record, we will work it out. For Quinn’s sake, we need to figure out the co-parenting thing. That’s all I want from you, Grayson. I don’t want you involved in my life. I don’t want your money. But I want you to always be honest with our daughter. She may act mature, but she’s only ten and she is probably going to think that you’re going to stay here. We both know that isn’t the case. You have a life and a career in California, not Missouri.”
“You’re right,” he said. “I agree to your terms as long as you agree to let me spend time with Quinn.”
He wanted to promise that he wouldn’t break either of their hearts but now wasn’t the time. He hadn’t earned the right to give her those reassurances.
A part of him feared he couldn’t live up to her expectations. What-ifs were a big part of his life, and he knew he was always one slipup from letting himself down and hurting the people who cared about him.
“We need to talk to her,” Avery said, glancing back at him as she headed for Quinn.
An invitation to go with her. He would take that as a promising step forward. He followed her across the yard in the direction of their daughter.
Their daughter. The word unsettled him as he thought of the totality of that word. They had a child. He and Avery. At that moment their daughter sat beneath the shade of an old willow tree, the basset hound curled up next to her. She was pulling up clover and picking the flowers apart. Or maybe making a chain? He watched, awed by the realization that this child was his.
He wanted to know everything about her.
“You’re going to frighten her,” Avery said softly, and it took him a moment to realize she was speaking to him.
“I’m sorry?”
“The look on your face. I don’t know what that look is, Grayson, but it’s so happy and fierce that it’s almost frightening.” Her expression softened and the corner of her mouth lifted the tiniest bit. It was a chink in her armor and it gave him hope. She had things against him, real things, not made up. He’d hurt her. But maybe, just maybe, they could be friends.
Or at least not enemies.
* * *
Quinn looked up from the flower chain she was making, a foot-long strand of white clover. She pushed to her feet and waited for them.
“Okay, let’s do this,” Quinn said as they joined her under the willow tree.
Grayson looked to Avery, needing her to lead him in this conversation. She was the parent. He was the man who’d joined the game about ten years too late. And yet, for some reason, Avery seemed to be the one struggling to find words. She drew in a deep, tremulous breath and briefly closed her eyes before speaking.
“Quinn, this is your father, Grayson Stone. I should have told you about him.” Avery gave him a quick look as she made the introductions. “I should have told him about you. You both deserved better from me.”
“It would have been better than hearing it from strangers.” Quinn scrunched her face and blinked away tears.
“Oh, Quinn.” Avery gathered her in her arms and held her tight. “I’m so sorry. I thought I was protecting you.”
“It’s okay, Mom.” Quinn mumbled into Avery’s shoulder. “But I can’t breathe.”
“I should have told you,” Avery said as she released Quinn. “I’m sorry.”
Quinn shrugged and swiped at her eyes.
“I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would have said something.” Quinn’s attention turned to Grayson. “Now what do we do? I mean, you’re here but I don’t know why.”
Grayson cleared his throat. “I came to take care of my father. I have to make arrangements for his care.”
“So you’re going to stay here and take care of your dad?” Quinn asked.
His confidence seemed to falter, but he’d promised honesty to her. “No, I can’t stay.”
“Oh,” Quinn responded as she slid her hand into Avery’s. Avery was reassured by the gesture. Her daughter reaching for her meant they were still a team.
“I know this is tough, but I’m going to find a way to make things up to you,” he assured their daughter. “We’ll figure this out, me and your mom.”
The two of them, as a team. Avery swallowed a few choice things she would have liked to say to him. She fought back the worry, that her relationship with her daughter would change. She’d survived so many things in her life, and this wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen. And for Quinn, maybe this was meant to be.
“What about me?” Quinn asked. “Won’t I have a say?”
“Of course,” Grayson assured her. “Whatever it takes, we’ll make this work.”
“I guess you’re going to have to buy me a horse,” Quinn said. Her tone took on a watery quality, the sound of tears about to fall, but she smiled.
“Quinn!” Avery shook her head. A horse? They couldn’t have a horse.
“A horse isn’t too much to ask for,” he agreed.
“I didn’t agree to a horse,” Avery told him. He grinned at her ob
jection and she wondered if this was the new normal for herself and her daughter. Would he forever be between them, the good one, making dreams come true while Avery had to be the parent who maintained discipline?
“So you don’t have a family somewhere, do you? A wife, a few kids?” Quinn visibly pulled the rug out from under him with the shift in conversation. It was a question Avery hadn’t thought to ask so maybe Quinn had shocked them both.
“No wife and no kids,” he answered.
“Just me,” Quinn responded.
“Yes, just you.” Grayson smiled at the statement.
Avery could have told him that was the wrong choice of words. Quinn gave him a look that caused him to clear his throat and try again. “I’m glad you’re in my life, Quinn.”
“For however long it takes you to settle things with your dad. My grandfather.” She wrinkled her nose. “Wow. I have a grandfather. And a dad. But what happens in two months? I mean, will we get to visit or something? Christmas here, spring break there?”
“We’ll work it all out,” he promised. Avery wanted to tell him he didn’t have a right to make promises. If they were going to work this parenting business out as a team, then he didn’t get to promise things like horses, visits and Christmas together. Not without her approval, or at least seeking her opinion.
“Quinn, this is new territory for all of us,” Avery started, then she didn’t know what else to say. Grayson waited, his expression gentle, as if he understood. “I know that we will work out visits and...”
She couldn’t get the words out. She felt a lump of fear as she thought about trusting her daughter with Grayson, a man she resented, who she didn’t trust. A man who had walked away without a backward glance. But what if she was wrong about that? And about him.
Before she could commit to those visits, she had to know that she could trust her daughter with him. She had to know the man and separate him from the teenager who had broken her heart.
CHAPTER FOUR
Grayson got up early on Saturday morning and headed to the barn on his father’s farm. He hadn’t slept much the past few nights, not since the meeting with Quinn. Avery had said that they could spend Saturday evening together. He hadn’t quite figured out if she meant the three of them or just Grayson and Quinn.
“You’re up early,” Mathias grumbled as Grayson headed into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of too-strong coffee, the kind his dad bought from an online bulk distributor. It wasn’t good, just cheap.
“There’s work to do on this place if you’re going to insist on staying here.” Grayson spooned too much sugar into the coffee. “Do you want a cup?”
“I’ve been up for an hour. I’ve already had mine.”
“Why do you get up so early?” Grayson asked as he sat down at the table across from his father.
Mathias scrubbed a hand across his grizzly cheek. “I don’t sleep much these days. Too much going on in here.”
His dad pointed to his head with a trembling hand. Mathias’s speech had improved in the past month or so, making it easier to understand his words. From time to time he slurred or dropped a sound, but he was getting better every day.
“I can imagine,” Grayson sympathized. He’d long ago stopped hating his father. Mathias had been cold and a hard taskmaster. That had been the only way he knew how to parent.
“I bought her that land, you know,” Mathias told him.
“I don’t think you did,” Grayson said, sure he was confused.
“I heard she was interested and I knew she couldn’t afford it. I told Wilson, the owner of that piece of property to cut the price and I’d pay the difference.”
His brow furrowed, Grayson just nodded. “She wouldn’t be happy if she knew.”
“She’s got mettle, that girl,” Mathias complimented. “Always did.”
“And yet, you acted as if she was never good enough.”
“I did what I thought was right. At the time it seemed right. Now...” The judge turned a shade of red that indicated he was embarrassed. “I never meant to hurt her. Or you.”
Grayson took another swig of coffee and got up to pour the rest of the bitter brew down the drain. “I don’t want to discuss this.”
“I knew.”
“You what?” Grayson slammed his cup down hard and dark liquid sloshed over the side.
“She came to us, told us about the baby. We didn’t believe her. I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? You kept me from my daughter for ten years and you’re sorry? I missed out on most of my daughter’s childhood, Dad. I’m not sure if she’ll ever forgive me, or Avery, for that.”
“Give it time,” Mathias said with a tremor in his voice.
“Don’t give me advice.” Grayson instantly forgot all of the warm feelings he’d been having for his father.
He left the house, the ancient basset hound trotting after him. As he crossed the lawn, he heard a bray and changed course. The miniature donkey was out again and the miniature horse was right behind him, squeezing herself through the barbed-wire fence. The barn, the fence, all of it was in need of repair. The place had been left in the care of an old drunk who had done his best, which wasn’t near good enough. And now Grayson’s dad wanted to live here again. He shook his head.
Grayson paused midstride and brushed a hand through his hair. There were moments like this one, this week, that he really needed a meeting. He needed people like himself, who understood addiction and understood just how difficult it was to not use drugs, to not drink while facing a crisis.
Being in Missouri near his old stomping grounds, and knowing that old friends and enablers were easy to find, reminded him that his sobriety, even nine years’ worth, could be broken in a single moment.
He’d avoided this town for that very reason, because avoiding Pleasant meant avoiding the temptations of a life he’d overcome.
He glanced heavenward. “We’ve got this,” he said to the only higher power he believed in. “I know You’re here and I know You are my strength, my very real help in times of trouble.”
When no one else was there, God was there. He could do this. He knew he could because he’d lived through tougher times than this. The loss of his mother and then his uncle Edward had tested him, shaken him to the core.
The miniature donkey named Jack and the miniature horse named Dolly were now trotting around the yard, flaunting their freedom to Grayson and Tony the llama who ran up and down the fence line, looking for his own way out.
“Back inside, you two pests.” He cut the pair off, sliding on the dew-dampened grass as he did.
Jack ran left and Dolly pushed between Grayson and the fence. The basset hound, Fred, ran in circles, barking at all of them.
“I’m a professional contractor with a degree in architecture,” he yelled at the pair. “I’m not a miniature livestock wrangler.”
From the old farmhouse’s back porch, laughter drifted across the lawn. His father’s laughter.
“I didn’t sign on for this,” Grayson yelled.
“It builds character,” his dad shouted.
The rumble of an engine and the rattle of a livestock trailer stopped his pursuit of the miscreant livestock. He watched as a truck pulled around and then backed the trailer toward a gate.
“What now?” he grumbled, knowing his father couldn’t hear and wouldn’t answer even if he could.
The driver’s door of the truck opened and Tucker Church climbed out. Grayson hadn’t seen the man in years. The changes took him by surprise. Tall, spindly Tucker Church, the guy with glasses, wild curls and a penchant for science had been a good friend but the two hadn’t run in the same social circles.
Tucker had been a good kid. But the girls hadn’t been interested much in Tucker. He’d been too serious and too scrawny. He was no longer scrawny and he had a few inches on Grayson’s six feet.
“Tucker, good to see you.” Grayson held out a hand to the other man.
Tucker took his hand in a brief and rather bone-crushing grip. “Been a few years.”
“Yeah, it has.” Grayson flexed his fingers and glanced at the stock trailer full of cattle. “What’s this?”
“Cattle.”
“I know what they are. Why are you here with a load of cattle?”
Tucker chuckled, his gray eyes twinkling with mirth. “I guess they’re a gift for you. Your dad called me up and said you need something to keep you busy while you’re here. I think he’s hoping this will convince you to stay.”
“Before you unload the cattle, I need to talk to the judge. I’m not here to manage his livestock and there’s no way he can do it himself. I also don’t know if these fences will hold a kitten, let alone cattle.”
Tucker shot a look over Grayson’s shoulder. “I’d say your theory about the fences is correct. Dolly and Jack are on the loose again.”
“I know they are. It’s becoming a habit of theirs. And since you’re the one who helped him haul those three from the livestock auction, you can help me put them in.”
“Right, I wish I could but I have to get home to my niece. I’ll help you unload this bunch and the other two are on you.”
“I thought we were friends?” Grayson said as Tucker unlatched the back of the trailer.
“Friends?” Tucker paused, giving him a hard stare. “Friends usually talk to each other more than once a decade. Friendship might mean more to some of us than it does to others.”
Grayson stood there silent as Tucker opened the gate, moved the back door of the trailer and started to unload a dozen angus heifers. Character-building his foot.
He glanced around, looking for Dolly and Jack. Dolly had found a patch of clover near the house. Jack was nowhere in sight.
“Hey, man, I owe you an apology,” Grayson acknowledged.
“You don’t owe me anything,” Tucker said. “But I’m going to warn you. Don’t hurt Avery and Quinn. I’d take it personally if you played with her emotions and then walked away. Again.”
Love Inspired June 2021--Box Set 1 of 2 Page 22
