“I don’t need your building supplies,” Avery argued. “I have a plan for how I can make the house smaller and get everything done within my budget.”
“Why don’t we talk in private about this?” he told her, waiting for her to agree.
She looked from the driver to Grayson, then finally she nodded. “Okay, let’s talk privately. Excuse us.”
Grayson walked with her through grass that had been recently cut. She must have done that.
“Where’s Quinn?” he asked.
“With your father. As soon as we got here, she hightailed it across the field to visit him and the animals. And her horse. I never thought of that being a draw for building here, but now...” She shrugged. “I like the idea of her having him in her life.”
“I do, too. And that’s probably as much a surprise to me as it is to you. I’ll feel better when I leave, knowing he’s next door. Knowing you’re here for him, too.”
“When is this leaving taking place?” she asked.
“Not for a while. Maybe a month. But we have to discuss the house. I’ve drawn up a plan and I’ve figured the extra costs for the home I’d like to help you build. I also figured ten years of missed child support payments.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Grayson.”
“I know you think that. But Quinn is my daughter, too, and I have a responsibility. Not just for today and the future, but for what I’ve missed out on. I should have been able to help from day one.”
“I understand,” she said. “Listen, this is more about you taking control and not asking. You are a little bit like a dozer that runs over everything in its path. Ask me. Talk to me. I don’t like these surprises because they feel as if you’re taking over. I’m pretty independent.”
“Got it and I apologize.”
They walked a bit farther and she stopped. “Thank you.”
“Is that you accepting my help?” he asked.
She gave a quick nod. “It is. I accept your help as long as you accept that you have to discuss things with me.”
He took the opening she’d given. “Would you meet with the cabinet guy? He’s actually going to be here in about fifteen minutes.”
“I’ll meet with the cabinet guy,” she agreed.
The acceptance surprised him, making him feel pretty okay with life. Maybe the choices he’d been making, pursuing, were the right ones after all. He’d prayed about it; he’d sought the open doors and he realized doors were opening.
Something as simple as her agreeing to see the cabinet guy he wanted to hire was evidence of steps forward. They walked back to the house together just as the cabinet guy was pulling up.
“I heard you got taken down by a bull. How are you feeling?” Nan asked with a teasing glint in her eyes.
“I’m a little on the sore side today,” he admitted.
Avery chuckled, then covered her mouth with her hand. “Oops, sorry.”
“You should be,” he shot back but he couldn’t keep from smiling. “You’re the one who’s responsible for my injuries.”
“I didn’t really mean for you to get hurt.”
“You two are a sight and you don’t even see it, do you?” Nan shook her head and waggled a finger. “I hope you figure it out before it’s too late.”
“What does that mean?” Avery asked.
“Oh no, I’m not getting in the middle of it. I have to take Quinn to softball practice.”
“To softball practice?” Avery asked. She glanced at her watch. “Nan, she doesn’t have practice today. Unless you know something I don’t.”
Nan looked puzzled. “Well, maybe I got the wrong date. That girl has so many things going on, I’m not sure how you keep track of everything.”
“Right now the only thing she has going on is riding Flash.” Grayson pointed to the field.
“She saddled him without asking!” Avery started to head for the fence.
Grayson stopped her. “She’s doing fine. And I’m sure my dad and Nina were with her.”
Avery visibly took a deep breath and let it go. “Right. She’s fine.”
“I’ll head that way and keep an eye on her,” Nan offered. “I told Nina I would help her with the garden. She said something is getting the lettuce. Probably rabbits.”
“Thank you,” Avery called out to her foster mom as Nan walked away from them. She watched Nan for a moment and then turned to Grayson. “Okay, next on the list, cabinets.”
That was trust, he realized. It was a simple thing that she’d done, or a few things. Letting him help with the house and trusting his judgment concerning Quinn and the horse. Simple things could be building blocks for a future. Together.
As long as he didn’t mess it up.
* * *
Avery stood at the tailgate of Grayson’s truck, looking over the samples the cabinetmaker had brought with him. There were all shades of brown, white, black, wood stain and a dozen popular colors. How was she ever supposed to make a decision?
“What do you envision?” The cabinetmaker asked. “Close your eyes and picture your kitchen, your bathroom cabinets.”
“White,” she said after a minute, thinking about how it would look. She could picture the kitchen window in her mind’s eye, with the view of the distant hills in autumn, when the leaves would change from green to red, yellow or orange. She sighed. That would be her home.
She opened her eyes and smiled at Grayson. “White, but not flat white.”
His eyes twinkled at that. “I knew it. But which color of white?”
The cabinet guy brought out several samples. She picked through them until she found the one that she could see in her kitchen and in her bathrooms.
“Now to design the kitchen,” the man said to her.
“This is a lot to think about,” Avery said. “I had no idea. I thought I’d pick some cabinets and they would just appear.”
Both men laughed at that.
“Okay, this might be why I got taken advantage of,” she admitted.
“It isn’t,” Grayson defended, his expression becoming protective in a way that warmed her heart, because no one had ever, in her life, looked at her like that.
Nan had loved her from the moment she walked into her home as a wild child of fourteen. But Nan’s love had always been a given. She’d been a mother to girls who needed a mom. But this look of Grayson’s, it lingered somewhere between possessive and protective, and she hadn’t realized how much she needed to feel like a person that someone would cherish in that way.
“I’ll let the two of you hammer this out,” Mr. Bradley said with a gruff voice, clearing his throat as he began to put things away. “I can always come by later in the week and we can go over different kitchen plans. I promise you, it won’t be a chore. I have a fancy computer program that makes it fun and easy.”
“Thank you, Mr. Bradley.” Avery managed to sound sane, she thought.
Nan must not have thought so. She snorted a little and pulled keys out of her pocket.
“I’m going to check on my granddaughter and the judge.”
Then they were alone, the two of them, with too many emotions and too many words to say between them. Avery had done everything to guard her heart, to put up boundaries, to protect herself and her daughter.
Here she stood, wondering why in the world Grayson had to be this person to her. Why did she have to get drawn to him in this way? He was no longer the teen who hurt her with words; he was a man who knew how to be there for her, for his daughter.
“You scare me,” she admitted.
He took her by the hand and led her to the tailgate of his truck. The two of them sat together, side by side. Across the field they saw Quinn riding Flash in circles, and it was easy to see the pony’s responsiveness to his girl.
He tilted his head to study her. “I’m trying t
o show you that you can trust me to be in Quinn’s life, and in yours, too.”
“It isn’t that. It’s that you’ve managed to change my heart. I do trust you with my daughter. I do trust you to be in our lives. But when you leave—and you will go—I’m going to miss you. That scares me.”
“It scares me, too. Because what if someone comes along and realizes what an amazing person you are, and you fall in love with him?” He pulled off his cowboy hat and messed with the brim, shaping it a little as he sat there. “What if you and Tucker...”
She stopped him, her hand on his arm. “Not Tucker. He’s just my friend. Nothing else.”
She realized she’d admitted so much in a few short minutes. Grayson had also revealed a lot. It was big stuff, she realized. It was a relationship, maybe? But where could this lead them when they were different people and lived their lives so far apart? She couldn’t see either of them giving up what they had. So would the newfound relationship only lead to heartache? She thought that there weren’t any other possibilities.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Avery hadn’t seen Grayson since Saturday, the day they’d discussed cabinets and the future. On Thursday, her first day off that week, she left Nan with a hug and told her she’d be home by noon. She was supposed to meet Mr. Bradley to go over the design of her kitchen. She couldn’t wait to see the house. Nan had been by there and she’d mentioned that it was coming along faster than before. In no time it would actually start to look like a real house. A real home.
“Tell Grayson I said hello,” Nan called out as Avery went out the back door.
“I’ll tell him.” She ran back in to grab her purse. “I might stop by and visit with Nina and the judge. Tell Quinn if she wants to go see Flash to let me know and I’ll pick her up after I get finished with cabinets. Unless you need help in your workshop.”
“I’ll be fine on my own. I have my routine.” Nan shooed her out the door. “And if Quinn wants to go ride Flash, I’ll give her a ride over there. You go and have a good time.”
“Thanks.” She waved and ran out the door.
The happiness bubbling out of her couldn’t be explained. She told herself it was due to perfect June weather, the excitement of owning her own home and the joy because Quinn had recovered so quickly after the storm.
As she drove to the building site, she did so with her windows down and her favorite Christian group playing on the radio. It was the perfect song about not letting anything or anyone steal what God had given, including joy.
As she pulled up to the house, Mr. Bradley was waiting for her.
“Mr. Bradley, it’s so good to see you again. I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”
“Not at all. I just got here myself. I brought my laptop and we’ll see what you like. You’ll be amazed by this technology. We’ll design your kitchen and you’ll be able to walk through it, pick your cabinets, your extras, all of the cool and nifty gadgets. Mr. Stone called me and told me we’re not to discuss price.”
“Mr. Stone called you?” She was taken aback. “I thought he would be here, too.”
“No, I don’t think so. He called me a few days ago and told me he had to go back to California.”
“He...” Her throat tightened and she had to blink to clear her vision.
“Miss Hammons, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Of course, I just forgot that he wouldn’t be here.” The lie didn’t come easily. The pain of shattered trust brought a quick flash of tears to her eyes.
“I’m not sure if I’m feeling well,” she told him. And that was the truth. “Maybe we can do this next week?”
Mr. Bradley looked confused. “I suppose but we do need to get started soon. I don’t think it’s a good idea to wait for Mr. Stone. It didn’t sound as if he’d be back anytime soon.”
“I understand, but I don’t think I can do this right now.” She averted her gaze and studied the house with its gabled roofline. Windows, porches and big open rooms. That had been her dream and he’d made it come true.
And then he’d left. The way he said he wouldn’t leave.
“I really need to go,” she told the cabinetmaker. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you sure you feel up to driving?” he asked as he followed her to her car.
“I’m sure. I’m just going next door.” She managed a smile and hoped it eased his concern. She didn’t want this kind stranger to worry about her. “I’m good. I promise.”
“I’ll call and check on you tomorrow.”
“I’ll give you my number,” she said.
“No need. Mr. Stone made sure to give it to me before he left. He really did want to make sure the process went smoothly. He already paid me the first installment.”
“Did he?”
“Yes, ma’am. You go home and rest. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
She drove away, numb and yet hurting worse than the night when she’d sat at Tilly’s waiting for him to show. The night he’d promised her the whole world would know how much he loved her. Eleven years ago they hadn’t talked about trust. They hadn’t had Quinn, either.
It was supposed to be different now. They were supposed to be different.
She thought back to conversations they’d had the past weeks. He’d mentioned often that they needed to be a family, for Quinn’s sake. He’d never mentioned love to her. Not once. And yet, foolish her, she’d been falling hard the whole time.
Fortunately, she hadn’t given him the words. That was something to be thankful for.
Her music came on. Her world wasn’t falling apart. God was bringing it all together. He was building something good from her own shattered dreams. He was building His dream for her.
The music unsettled her. She couldn’t handle it right now. She turned the radio off and drove in silence. Funny how she’d left Nan’s feeling as if her whole world was coming together as it should and now everything was falling apart.
Nina was just getting to Judge Stone’s. She got out of her car and worry creased her brow when she saw Avery. Nina petted the basset hound and then met Avery midway to the house.
“I need to see the judge.” The words came out harsh and painful.
“Of course, come on in.” Nina led her through the back door and into the living room where Mathias Stone sat in his old, lumpy recliner that smelled of cigar smoke.
He grinned his lopsided grin and turned off the news.
“Avery, it’s good to see you. What brings you over so early?”
“Grayson left?” she asked, already knowing the answer. Why did she have to sound so lost, so hurt? She sounded like that eighteen-year-old girl who had knocked on his door all those years ago.
She wasn’t that girl any longer. She told herself to stand up straight and take control.
“He said he had things to take care of in California,” Judge Stone said. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
“He didn’t say goodbye,” she said. She regretted the words immediately. “He didn’t tell Quinn goodbye.”
“Who didn’t tell me goodbye?” Quinn asked as she hurried through the front door.
Through the window, Avery spotted Nan’s car.
“Isn’t Nan coming in?” Avery asked, wanting to change the subject.
“No, she said she had to get back to work. Who didn’t tell me goodbye?” Quinn asked but her smile had disappeared. Her face paled as she looked from her grandfather to Avery. “He left?”
“I’m sorry,” Avery said. “I know he’ll be back.”
“When?” Quinn asked. “We were supposed to try barrels at the rodeo with Flash this weekend. That’s in just a few days.”
“I know it is. I know that Tucker will take your horse for you. You can still ride.” Avery reached for Quinn. “It’ll be fine. He’ll be back.”
“But you don’t know when.”
>
“No, I don’t know when. I’ll call him and ask.”
“I tried calling him this morning,” Judge Stone said. “No answer.”
“No answer?” Avery couldn’t imagine Grayson not answering his father’s call. But then, a few days ago she wouldn’t have imagined him leaving town and not saying goodbye to his own daughter.
Her mind took a terrible turn as she remembered him talking to Greg Butterfield. Once an addict, always an addict, someone had recently told her. Grayson himself worried that he might fall, that he might use again.
The what-ifs ran through her mind and she tried to push the thoughts aside. She made Quinn her focus. Quinn, who looked more shattered, more hurt. This was exactly what she’d never wanted to happen to her daughter. She had wanted to protect her from a father who walked away.
“He’ll be back,” Quinn said with a shaky smile. “He promised he would always be there for me. Can I use your phone?”
Avery handed her the cell phone from her pocket. “His number is in my contacts.”
She watched, knowing what would happen but praying for a different result, praying he would answer. He didn’t.
“I’m sure there’s a good reason,” Quinn assured her, assuring herself. “I know he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. He must have had a good reason.”
“Quinn,” Avery started. Her daughter put up a hand to stop her. She was ten and fighting to hold on. She didn’t need for Avery to tell her there was never a good reason for a father to leave without a goodbye.
“No. I’m going to ride Flash. My dad will be back. Soon.”
Avery agreed; Grayson would be back. But next time around, she would protect herself and her daughter a little more carefully.
* * *
Avery went to work the next day and she pretended, or tried to pretend, that everything was fine. She checked on Margie, she played checkers with Daron Young, she danced with Iva May. Laura watched as she headed for her office, then she got up and followed Avery. “What’s up?”
Avery glanced up from her desk. “What do you mean? Nothing is up.”
Love Inspired June 2021--Box Set 1 of 2 Page 34
