Usual tactics for acquiring a mate these days didn’t faze her. I wondered if she misunderstood my intentions or the lack thereof.
Trae Lae stood alluring. In the smallest of ways she secretly flaunted it. Long ambrosial hair tousled away from the senses I controlled. Braided in division of what acutely I assumed as a strong point.
Walking side by side, I only wanted one thing. One thing I wanted entirely from girls, a woman or two. Innocence, belief that I was different in this way that I could change the title I’d been given. She would be just the same. Another check mark on the list to acquiring manhood.
Captivated as my being allowed, I disguised how absolutely incarcerated my feelings went for her. She was the most unordinary gal, I ever touched.
Our walk brought us to the corners of where I once spent helpless nights strolling the sidewalks alone. How I made my way to her very dorm that night, though I saw her through the window seating solo on the Friday night mixer.
In perfect unison our feet stepped along the depths of puddles. With her the night glowed less hollow and dim. I told her my apartment was close, making deceiving comments along the way. It was farther away from her home than she would stroll. Appeared on her doorstep soaked to the bone in October mist.
Reaching out for her I cringe, letting control lose its way. I shook in the silence of my soul, she struck me as a mirage of sorts. Roomates abandoned the household. Twerking off to some wannabe jerks. Trae Lae didn’t even know what that was; maybe I could show her. If they knew how jerkish a real man could be, oh how they would run and cry. For the girls who liked to be pushed around, they’d come back for much more. A rather awful growl came up in my teeth. I clenched onto it to use for better executions later that night. Her skin in amazing glow. The thought of her never being touched began to make the carnivore in me unbearable to tame any longer.
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The Circus in Me Page 6
