The Circus in Me

by S.M. Bjarnson

  Of course not my nature to use such profanity. Exceptions are allowed in pivotal moments.

  We entered the dining hall where the rest of the crew was setting up for the entertainment. Dishes grabbed to set the festive table top.

  “It is my Amish name.” Playful shimmy of the shoulders.

  “What are you talking about? We just told you T R A E L A E.” As if spelling it out would confirm certainty. I gave a look to Tamer, apologizing in advance for not confessing my true birth name to him.

  “Yes, Aubrie. How in the world did you come to be here tonight?” My steps stopped as she came next to me gladly rekindling our sisterhood. Her hand in mine just like when we were children singing in the grassy meadows.

  “I’m so glad to see you!” Hugging me, her excitement bubbling at the connection of throats. I thought I looked similar but when she looked, no resemblance was found of Tracey Aliza. Instead she tried to accept the updated version; Trae Lae.

  “Very nice to meet with you sister. You do not know how many days I’ve sought out for you Aliza.” My face showed seldom expression.

  “Mama and Papa will be so happy to hear that I have found the lost daughter.” Oh great now Aubrie believes I will return home.

  “Rebecca and Levi mustn’t know of your visit, Aubrie. They will claim you as an outcast for even mingling with me.” I placed another white and gold plate down on the lavish dining table. Extravagant parties weren’t in their price range, tonight called to be more.

  “You have obligations back at home. I thought Briggs would have told you by now. He promised he would share with you the fine details of his trip. Of Malachi…” Her manner rose back to delicacy form. Voice spilling truth and honesty, in my mind I translated it to the recurring nightmares of disloyal loved ones.

  “Aubrie Ayn, do not speak his name in front of others again!” My voice rang out more vulgar than I punctured for.

  Silence shook the hopeful spirit she’d become. Immediately knowing I hurt her good intentions I tried to take those awful words from her conscious. It was around that time Briggs came back into sight. I lost the nerve to tell her the truth about our home.

  We were assigned the seats given to us by age. Young to old, short to tall, skinny to large. Elephants in the middle surrounded by stick figures of people I acquainted.

  My companion sat tightly next to me, his eyes wandered around the room. In search of someone to claim victim. Currently resting on the beauty queen who happened to turn gypsy.

  Blinking ever so slowly at her, his dreams were becoming hers. I shifted my gaze as well, he returned a polite smirk and shoved his face with a turkey leg.

  “Listen, Briggs. I wanted to tell you…” Before I could finish the excuse, he scurried off to the bathroom.

  “You do realize he is a man, and she is a promiscuous lady.” Truth be told from the occultist in white.

  I began to realize a lot more than the obvious observations to say the least.

  My vision blurry with hardship and humility. Had I done wrong and yet deserved this act upon myself?

  His corruption blindsided the entire party. Brigg’s monovalent work began to reach the ears of our guests. The gorgeous gypsy sat back down on her original seat.

  Quizzical eyes on her, as the sounds behind her began to invade the dining tent. I documented the sound as I held my breath for more. The shuddering sound of the bones breaking making me realize he’d gone after Tagert.

  I stood quickly catching on the tassels of the tablecloth, nearly taking the spectacular chef-d'oeuvre of food down with me.

  I struggled to regain direction. I ran through the tent flaps, witnessing a whole other disaster in play.

  Clenched fists full of hair and anger, rage poured out of the skull of my lover. His lips piercing through the pain. Five guys stood around taking turns delivering blows. Tagert stood afar choking on his smoke not wanting to get his hands dirty. I stood in appalling awe. Watched as horror began to grow in the in the thoughts of women and men.

  The leaders left beaten and bruised. Commotion led the other elder men out and scattered the fight to a minimum fair one.

  Luckily, the hero decided against playing victim. He got up after every punch, spitting the pain from his mouth. Tamer running in-between his brother’s friends, defending the fallen champion.

  I froze as Tagert through his own brother in the pit. Creations of a fair equal fight, a fight he suggested to begin.

  Briggs staggered to the position next to his victor. He clawed his way up the side of the tent. Stumbling upon the rocks, rushing to his side to be an anchor.

  “Thanks, Tamer.” They punched each other’s bloody knuckles.

  “No problem, bro!” Aubrie took Tamer’s arm as we led both of them to the Medical wing.

  “This wasn’t because of me, was it?” My breath clouding the cold air around us.

  “Of course not! He ran his mouth off about the offense side of the Broncos!” He tried laughing up from his gut, like his ego it was also sore.

  “Broncos? You were fighting over wild horses? Gambles on ranch cattle? Is every man alive immature?” I certainly was dissatisfied with his answer.

  “Every guy I’ve met at least!” Aubrie gave a quick wink.

  Briggs and Tamer both gone in their own humor. Shakes of their heads made it clear we had missed out on modern innuendos.

  Aubrie and I glared at them as they both poked fun at our absence of the sporting world.

  ѓ