PRESENT DAY
As promised, Felix kept me from drinking too much at his party. We just had a nice time, catching up with the rest of the Pumas and their girlfriends. I never felt as close to any of them as I did to Felix, but I still knew them well enough to be interested in their lives and what they’d been up to since the last time I’d seen them.
Felix dropped me off at home late enough that I barely had the energy to wipe off my make-up before falling into bed. I was out like a light even before my head hit the pillow.
My alarm the next morning came as an unpleasant shock. But, though my eyes felt a little gritty, my head was clear. Being tired was way better than being hung-over, especially as I knew we were tackling some of the show’s most challenging choreography.
The warm-up went well, my body loosening and stretching as Edwina put us through our paces. By the time we actually started on the dance number for the show, my energy was back to usual levels. My mind was so focused on the rhythm that if you’d asked me what I got up to the day before, I wouldn’t have even known what to say!
We started out slow, kicking our legs and turning at half the speed we’d ultimately need to dance at. Even then, it wasn’t easy!
Edwina called out corrections, walking down the row of dancers to nudge our feet or elbows or hands into the right position.
It felt good. Difficult choreography was always exciting. Not only because of the satisfaction that came with getting it right but also because I knew it would look amazing! Edwina’s routines were technically impressive and I loved dancing them - once I’d learned everything so it came to me almost effortlessly.
After giving us all a break to catch our breath, Edwina lined us up once more. This time, she played the track at its normal speed. In some ways, it made it easier. There are certain turns and steps and jumps that it’s hard to drag out.
But there was also just a lot more going on! I pushed my body into the movements, trusting that the practice would have paid off.
I was just internally cheering myself after a particularly well-executed sprint. I must have twisted my hip wrong, because my body went sideways while my leg just didn’t.
For a moment, I was caught. My body was moving with too much momentum to stop. I plunged through the air, knocking the person in front of me out of the way.
With a crash, I came down hard against the floor of the studio. My chest smacked down, all the air forced out of my lungs. It made my ribs ache as I fought to drag in a breath.
Above me, everyone moved in a flurry of activity, trying to see where and why and what was happening. Pain drove through me, spreading from my legs all the way up to the crown of my head.
“Are you alright? What happened?”
Hands reached down, curving under my elbow and my armpit, pulling my torso upwards. As I tried to get my legs under me to propel me into a standing position, I screamed.
My body dropped once more, my friends suddenly uncertain whether they should drag me to my feet or leave me where I was.
Dimly, I could sense Edwina taking control. Her spry, black-clad figure made a space in the crowd around me, sending people away to give me space to breathe.
Dropping into a squat, she lifted my head to make me look at her.
“Where does it hurt, Jessie?”
I just blinked. The pain was all-consuming. My ribs ached, my ass stung from my second bump against the ground. But most of all, my right leg was one long line of agony.
“My leg.” Edwina nodded, smiling, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Some part of me knew that the smile was to keep me calm, to stop me from worrying. It didn’t work.
“I’m going to call an ambulance. They’ll bring a stretcher and they can move you on that. It’s the safest way to make sure we don’t accidentally make your leg any worse by putting strain on it.”
Tears welled in my eyes. Even though everything Edwina said was perfectly sensible, I didn’t want any of it to happen! I wanted to get up, to carry on with the routine. Sitting here on the floor with everyone staring made me wish that I’d fallen straight through the floor.
Everything after that was a blur. I cried out as the paramedics helped me onto the stretcher. One of them held my hand as they settled me in the back of the ambulance, not even complaining when I gripped her so hard it must have hurt!
Every bump on the road made me wince, more and more tears falling down my cheeks. I barely even noticed when we actually reached the hospital, not until they’d got me through x-ray and a doctor was holding my leg at an unbearable angle while he wrapped it in wet-looking strips of paper.
By the time the plaster cast had hardened, the throbbing in my ankle had dulled to a background ache. For the first time in hours, there was space in my brain for something other than pain. And what flooded in to fill the gap was miserable.
Dancing was going to be off-limits for weeks, maybe even months, which would mean losing my role in the winter show, getting out of condition, not to mention the stress of not being able to do the thing I loved most in the world.
The shame of having fallen dragged me down even further, until I could feel tears prickling behind my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. Not here, and not now. To doctors and nurses in a busy hospital, a broken leg wouldn’t seem like something worth crying over.
But to a dancer? This felt like the end of my world, even if I knew it was only temporary. There was nothing to distract me, either. My phone had been in my locker; nobody had thought to make sure it came to the hospital with me.
There was nothing to do but think and feel, to wish with all my heart that I could go back a couple of hours. If I could just not slip, then I wouldn’t be in this situation. My life would be able to carry on as normal. If only I’d caught myself before I fell!
When Felix’s familiar form raced into my room, it was all I could do to hold back a grateful sob. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, tears falling freely down my cheeks. If anyone outside of the dance world could understand how awful I was feeling, it would be Felix.
“It’s broken, Felix.”
The next thing I knew, he’d scooped me into a hug. It was the last straw before a sob broke from within me. He held me, letting me cry. I heard the soft ‘shh’ that Felix made. But he didn’t actually try to stop me. When I finally had exhausted my crying, Felix pulled back, wiping the tears off my cheeks.
“You’re going to be okay,” he promised. “Injuries heal. I’ve known loads of guys get shitty injuries. We’ll just have to make sure you get plenty of recovery time.” He sounded so sure, like this was just what was going to happen. It made me feel better, safe in a way I hadn’t done since the moment the ground had failed to support me.
Giving my shoulder a small squeeze, Felix exhaled. “I was so worried when they called me,” he admitted and I realized that of course, that’s why he was here - Felix was my emergency contact.
Instead of letting Felix pull fully away, I pillowed my face against his strong, supportive shoulder. My thoughts were still swirling, trying to balance everything that had happened today with what I knew would be weeks of recovery.
“My phone is still at the studio,” I admitted. “Otherwise I would have phoned you.” That would have been less concerning, I assumed. At least Felix would’ve heard my voice and known I was okay.
Glancing down at my leg, I sighed deeply. “They said it’s a clean break. It should heal fine as long as I don’t try to rush it.” Which would, of course, be a challenge. I was already tired of not being able to walk and it had only been a few hours.
“Yeah, the doctor told me.” Felix nodded. “On the phone, I mean. I rushed straight here then.” It wasn’t really necessary to clarify; I knew he would have done. That’s what I would do if the tables were reversed. Thankfully, Felix had never been seriously injured and now, going through this experience, I hoped even more he never would be. It truly sucked.
Glancing at my cast, Felix gave a small sigh. “You’re going to need crutches,�
� he commented. “And some bed rest, I’m guessing? Flynn broke his leg a few years ago, I’m sure he had to rest for ages.”
That didn’t sound particularly ideal. Felix must have read it on my face, because he shook his head.
“It’s cool, I’ll look after you,” he promised. “I do have one finished guest bedroom,” Felix reminded me.
The words made me realize I wasn’t going to be able to help with finishing the second guest bedroom. Not the way I’d wanted to. Regret hit me like a wave, making me well up all over again.
“I don’t suppose you have a time machine?”
I’d thought Felix might laugh. Instead, he just gave me a sympathetic squeeze. “It sucks that one moment can cause all this,” I grumbled. Wishing I could go back and just do one thing differently was a feeling that I’d had before. I knew it would pass, eventually.
“Are they going to let me go, now you’re here to take me home?”
“Probably,” Felix shrugged. “What are they going to keep you for? At least I can feed you soup.” Technically, I was pretty sure that the hospital could also feed me soup, but it was sweet that Felix wanted to. It did make me think about whether it was fair for me to just go home with him, to make him look after me.
Worrying my lower lip between my lips, I tried to think of a good way to ask but Felix was already talking. “We might need a wheelchair? You’ll definitely need crutches. I’ll go find a doctor and we’ll go from there?” he offered. The jumping into action was helpful, distracting from the worrying I was feeling.
My thoughts were still spinning. I’d never broken a leg before, just my arm when I was a kid. I didn’t really know how difficult it would be to get around on crutches on my own.
At the very least, I could stay with Felix tonight. It wouldn’t be the first night I’d spent in his spare room. And it would give me time to think about how I could cope by myself, if that was even an option.
“Can we go via the studio to pick up my things?” I asked. “And then to my place. You might have to pack an overnight bag for me.”
Felix nodded before giving my arm one more squeeze. “I’m going to go find a doctor and we’ll take it from there,” he told me, sounding reassuring enough that it made me glad he was the one to be here. Felix was good at jumping into action. Right now, that was exactly what I needed.
It didn’t take him long to return with a doctor, she quickly walked me through what I’d need to do, when I’d need to come back. Truthfully, I was just ready to get home and sleep. Or well, get to Felix’s house and sleep. Exhaustion was creeping through every part of me.
Now that Felix was taking care of everything, I let myself just zone out. I knew that he’d sort things and just tell me when we had to go, it was easy enough to give in to that, to not worry.
Before long, Felix had me in a wheelchair, driving me to the car. He helped me in and it made me immensely glad he was so strong, Felix could essentially just lift me in. How was I going to manage on my own, I truly had no idea.
“Alright!” he announced, getting in the driver’s seat. “I’ve got crutches in the boot. We don’t get to keep the wheelchair, alas, but it’s probably important you start trying to walk soon anyway. Is there someone at the studio who can bring your stuff out? I doubt I can just go in and get it? And then we’ll go to yours and get you stuff so you can come to stay at my place.”
Once he’d finished the list, Felix turned to give me a smile. “It’s going to be alright,” he promised me.
It took all my effort to believe him. Felix would never lie to me; if he said it was going to be alright, then he genuinely thought that it was.
“But I can’t just stay with you for six weeks,” I blurted. It was too much to ask, even of a friend as good as Felix was. Maybe I needed to think about getting to Santa Fe. But mom wasn’t a young woman anymore. Would she be able to lift me around as easily as Felix could?
“Yeah, of course you can,” Felix frowned. “There’s literally no reason why you can’t stay at my house until you’re better. In fact, it’d be silly not to. My house is bigger, easier to maneuver once you’re up on the crutches. I have a walk-in shower. It makes loads more sense for you to stay at my place. And I’m there to look after you.”
The list of reasons made it very difficult to argue against, but it still felt like such an imposition for me to just move in with Felix. “Wouldn’t you look after me if I was injured?” Felix pointed out.
And yes, of course I would! “I’d probably move in with you, if you were injured,” I admitted. Felix was right, his house was a lot more suitable than mine. Besides, who would look after the dogs if Felix had to be careful on his feet?
But it felt different to be the one who needed help. I gave a sigh. “Wouldn’t you feel a little weird about needing so much of my help?” I asked, genuinely curious. Maybe for Felix, it wouldn’t be a big deal.
The way he paused to think about it made my stomach flip with affection. Felix always took his time to consider my questions if he wasn’t sure. It made me feel like he genuinely cared, like he didn’t want to give me an answer he didn’t believe in.
“Yes, it would feel a bit weird,” Felix finally answered. “But that’s just normal, right? No adult wants to feel helpless. I trust you, so I know that if there was anyone I could ask to look after me, it’d be you. And I also know I wouldn’t need to ask.”
With that last sentence, Felix turned to give me a pointed look. “Just let me take care of you, Jessie.”
Despite everything, Felix felt like a warm ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. It was impossible to say no to him; I didn’t really want to. I cherished my independence and, no doubt, before I was fully recovered, I’d be chafing at the restrictions and helplessness.
But today? Today I wanted nothing more than to give in, to let Felix be the one to worry and plan.
“Okay.” The simple word lifted a weight off my chest. “Here, let me write down the combination to my locker. Dana’s probably still rehearsing.”
Unless they’d stopped because of my fall. Edwina was a pretty tough boss, though, and we only had a limited amount of time before the show. I imagine she’d carried on with anyone who was willing.
As Felix walked into the studio, I let myself lean back against the passenger seat. It might feel weird, but Felix was right. I trusted him to look after me. And to tell me if it was too much for him.
All I had to do was rest and let Felix take care of me.
Chapter Five
Felix
It took a bit of time to get all of Jessie’s things together, especially once she agreed to just stay at my place for at least a week. There was no way I could have pushed her to agree to longer just yet, but secretly, I was pretty sure I could do that later. Jessie was right that if our roles were reversed, being helpless like this would drive me crazy. But I hadn’t lied when I said that if there was anyone I would trust with it, it was Jessie.
Getting her in the house and up to the guest bedroom had been a bit of a challenge. It had been mostly awkward angles and me trying not to accidentally hurt her while helping her. When we’d finally got there, Jessie had almost collapsed into the bed, the tiredness of the day finally hitting her.
While Jessie slept, I made sure to clean up a bit. Even if she wasn’t going to be going down the stairs to the living room tonight, she would do so eventually, so it being a mess wasn’t ideal. The dogs, of course, had been next to no help, but thankfully they’d quickly figured out that they could be napping with Jessie.
By the time my stomach started to rumble, I was already getting dinner ready. It wasn’t anything too exciting, just mac and cheese, but my mom always said it was the simplest foods that were the most comforting. And I wanted Jessie to feel comforted.
“Hey, Jessie,” I said, shaking her awake gently. “It’s time for dinner,” I told her, nodding at the two bowls I’ve brought up filled to the brim with mac and cheese. “I’ll even let you eat in bed,” I teased,
waiting for her to sit up before I handed her one of the bowls. “Make some room for me.”
Wincing, she figured out the best way to move the heavy plaster cast to a different spot on the bed. If I weren’t afraid of hurting her, I’d have helped, but maybe it was better for her to work this out on her own.
Finally, she settled, her shoulder brushing mine. “This smells amazing,” she complimented. “You didn’t have to make this just for me.” We both knew that mac and cheese wasn’t usually part of my NHL diet. But even though I hadn’t had to make it for her, I’d wanted to.
“I can’t believe it’s still today,” she said. “This feels like the longest day ever.”
“Well, once you’re done with dinner, you can go back to sleep,” I promised. “Or we can watch a movie? Something easy going, no walls,” I joked. The way Jessie shoved me for that made me laugh, but it was well deserved. It was the same day still, so probably too early for jokes.
Taking a bite of my food, I gave a pleased hum. It tasted excellent and definitely like comfort food. “What do you think you’re in a mood for? Something with explosions?” It always relaxed me, but whether it’d work the same way for Jessie, I was less sure.
She laughed for the first time since I’d walked into that hospital, which I took as a sign that she was feeling a little better. “Do you even know any films that don’t have explosions?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” she added, shrugging. “Usually, I’d say a dance movie, but I don’t think I want to watch that right now.” It was my turn to wince. “We can watch something with explosions.”
“Okay, great,” I smiled. I could pick a good movie with an explosion, no problem. Pulling out my phone, while balancing the bowl with my other hand, I quickly found a movie for us to watch, casting it to the TV in the room. We ate in companionable silence, watching as the movie kicked off with a huge explosion, just as promised.
When Jessie finished eating, I took the bowl from her, setting it to one side. “I’ve got some ice cream in the freezer for later?” I offered. “Or I can go out and get some cake. What sort of dessert goes with a broken leg?”
Friend Locked (Salt Lake Pumas) Page 4
