“Thank you,” I say, blowing out a breath. “I think it’s just the heat.”
Carlotta spikes up in her seat. “Is the morning sickness back, Lot Lot? Quick, Mr. Sexy, put her head on your lap and massage her back. Foxy, you can tickle her feet.”
“Carlotta,” I groan. “I could drown.”
She ticks her head. “And that would get rid of the morning sickness.”
Noah plucks a glazed cruller out of the bakery box behind him and hands it to me.
“This might help.”
“You know me well,” I say as I quickly steal a few bites as if I’ve never seen a donut before.
“Lottie?” Noah dips in and catches my gaze. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to be a part of this. The doctor’s appointments—I want to go to each one. I want to hear the baby’s heartbeat, see the sonogram live and in person at the same time you do.”
Everett nods. “Same here, Lemon. It doesn’t make a difference if the baby is mine or not. I want in. I’m in love with you and our child. I want you to tell me all about your cravings, how you feel, what makes you happy, what makes you sick.”
I take a moment to glower over at Carlotta.
Something’s making me sick, all right, and it just so happens to be the dubious rumor she started that I can’t seem to squish like a bug.
She frowns my way. “Come on, Lot. Don’t look so glum. I was downright angry every day that I had you holing up in my tummy, and look at what a grump you turned out to be? What they say is true. How you feel determines the little monster you create.”
“I’ve never heard that,” I grouse her way.
Evie sighs while scratching Toby on the back. “I cannot wait to hold a real live baby. I’ve never even been close to one. All I know is that they pee, poop, and scream nonstop. And you know what? I don’t even care. Because it’s going to be as good as my baby. And I’m with you, Dad. I don’t care if this baby is Uncle Noah’s because, duh—Uncle Noah is family. This is my kid brother or sister, no matter what.” She holds out her fist and Noah bumps it with his.
I’ll admit, it warms my heart to see them bonding.
Noah really is family.
I’m about to say something when Evie raises a hand.
“Oh, and I almost totally forgot,” she adds with marked excitement. “I’m babysitting all the time. You never even need to ask.”
“Me too!” Carlotta harps, and I shoot her a look for even egging on the effort. “What? I’ve been known to take a newborn on a field trip to the Honey Hollow Fire Department before.”
“Field trip?” I’m almost amused at how she’s qualifying my abandonment.
Evie waves her off. “I’m already reading books on it. And before the baby is born, I’m going to get certified in CPR. So don’t worry about missing out on any of your investigations, Mom. I’ve got your baby’s back.” She gives a hearty wink before slipping on a pair of rose gold sunglasses shaped like cat’s eyes.
Everett looks my way. “It sounds as if we’re well taken care of in the babysitting department.”
“I’m babysitting, too,” Noah says. “But I’m pretty sure it’s not considered babysitting if it’s your own child. Is that right, Carlotta?”
I grunt his way, “She’s hardly an authority, Noah.”
Carlotta grunts right back, “I haven’t lost a kid yet, Lot.” She makes a face. “So which baby daddy are you letting into the delivery room?”
I give her a hard look for even propagating this maternity madness.
“I’d love to be there.” Everett picks up my hand, giving the back of it a kiss, and I feed him a bite of my cruller as a reward.
“I’d love to be there, too, Lottie.” Noah grabs a donut for himself, jelly filled with just the right amount of powdered sugar on it.
“Of course.” I cringe at the thought of going along with this farce. “I would love to have you both present.” I think. And why is that indecisive phrase suddenly the theme of the day?
Evie balks, “Mom isn’t doing some lame hospital delivery. She’ll have the baby in the hot tub out back at the house. She’s having a home birth. Dash’s mother did it, and Dash got to be the net girl.”
I lean in. “What’s a net girl?”
Evie nods. “When your body decides to treat the hot tub like a toilet, I’ll scoop up all the cra—”
“I get it,” I say it sharp with a look that says that’s the end of that poopy conversation.
Carlotta howls out a laugh. “Oh, have it on the yacht. I’ll have a silver spoon ready for its little mouth once you push it out of your loins and we’ll call it a billionaire day.”
I openly glower at the woman who pushed me through her dicey loins.
“I’m not having a home birth,” I say defiantly. “When the time comes, I’m having a hospital birth with lots and lots of drugs—and no nets.” The words stream from me like a threat. “And perhaps a steady stream of crullers just to be safe.” I take a rather angry bite of the one in my hand, but quickly succumb to the sweet, soft deliciousness that I can’t seem to get enough of.
Noah offers a soft smile my way. “I’ll take paternity leave. The department offers it, and I’ll be right there with you for midnight feedings.”
Everett circles his arm around my waist. “And I’m volunteering my diaper changing services. But I might need a lesson or two first.”
Evie kicks her foot his way. “I’ll teach you, Dad. I’m getting one of those celibacy dolls they give you in school that screams and cries and wets itself, so that we’ll all be used to how annoying an infant can be by the time the baby arrives.”
“Lovely,” I mutter, mostly to myself. “How about that Jade Archibald?” Her name sings from me brightly in an effort to steer the conversation away from all things screaming and crying, or wetting themselves.
Babies sound like far too much work than I can ever wrap my head around. A part of me actually feels sorry for Keelie and Lainey.
Poor things. Their lives are never going to be the same again. And I’m not sure I mean that in a good way.
“Noah?” I blink over at him. “Do you know where we can find Jade?”
His dimples invert as he sinks that smile right down to the waterline.
“I can take you there tonight.”
I look to Everett. “It sounds as if we’re adding a plus one to our date.”
Everett scowls over at his old stepbrother. “Don’t think for a minute he plans on changing that fact.”
Noah shoots Everett with his fingers. “Not with Lottie in the equation, I’m not—or my child.”
I close my eyes and rest my head back over the rim of the hot tub.
Who knew I would relish a murder investigation in hopes of getting my mind off my life?
Jade Archibald, I’m actually looking forward to getting to know you.
Chapter 13
It turns out, Jade Archibald works at the Ashford Super Lot. The night air is warm and humid and holds the slight scent of fumes from the highway next to us mingling with the burger joint next door. Cars of every shape and size are laid out over an expansive parking lot, and there’s a large blowup clown who keeps deflating and inflating as he flails in the wind, holding a sign that reads welcome to Super Lot, where we promise to accelerate you into the future!
“See that?” Carlotta elbows me hard on the arm. “I’m going to zoom out of here so fast I won’t show up until next week.”
“Do you promise?” I ask. I can’t help it. Carlotta insisted on coming down to the car lot where Jade works with Noah and me, citing she needs a new car.
Noah chuckles. “Don’t worry, Carlotta. If you find the car you like, I’ll make sure you get a good deal. I’m great at haggling.”
Everett twitches his brows my way. “Hear that, Lemon? By ditching the detective, you’ve evaded a lifetime of being haggled.”
I giggle up at him before shrugging over at Noah.
“He’s teasing,” I say. “And t
hat’s very nice of you to help Carlotta get a car. Plus, that will make this entire visit legitimate, and Jade won’t suspect that we’re suspecting her one bit. So for that, I thank you, Carlotta. And I hope you zoom your way back to Honey Hollow in your new fancy ride without a single speeding ticket.” Carlotta’s old car pooped out on her recently and has spent more time in the shop than it has in my driveway, so she’s taking some of her inheritance and buying herself a bit of vehicular freedom.
Everett slips his arm around my waist. “Noah and I have a surprise for you, Lemon.”
“You do?” I pull back to get a better look at the two of them.
Everett’s cheeks bounce in lieu of a smile. “You’re getting a new car tonight, too.”
“What?” I squawk. “Oh, please. My Honda is just fine.”
“Lot?” Noah shakes his head. “Your sedan still has the roof caved in from something that happened last fall.”
“And I tried to fix it.” My voice hikes.
Everett nods. “But the insurance company recommended you junk it.”
My mouth opens and closes.
Okay, so he has a point.
“Well, I don’t need a new car. But if you insist, I’ll take one for a test drive.” I figure that way I can at least appease them. There’s no way I’m going home with a new car today.
A group of three men dressed in suits stand outside the entrance to the building, all with an eager look on their face. I’m sure they’re hoping we all came separately and that we’re each in the market for two cars apiece. I hate toying with people’s emotions, and for that reason, I’m thrilled Carlotta is going to make someone’s night.
Noah steps up to the gentlemen. “My mother here actually prefers to deal with women. Would you happen to have one on staff tonight?”
Carlotta leans in. “I only deal with women whose names begin with the letter Jade.”
I roll my eyes skyward.
And in what universe did I think this was a good idea?
The men have a good laugh on Carlotta’s behalf, and before we know it, Jade Archibald stands before us in a navy pinstriped suit. Her dark hair is pulled back into a knot at the base of her neck, and she’s wearing dark-rimmed glasses, giving her that naughty librarian vibe.
She takes us in as a whole before doing a double take over at Noah and Everett.
“Well, well, what can I do for the two of you?” Her eyes linger their way.
Technically, she’s seen them before, but that night was a bit of a chaotic mess that ended in murder, so I couldn’t really blame her if she couldn’t place us.
“Wait a minute.” She lifts a finger as her voice takes on a more serious tone. “Didn’t I meet you at that awards ceremony?”
Everett nods. “That’s right. I believe Dane introduced us.”
She bows her head a moment and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s still so fresh.” She shakes her head over at us. “Dane and I—well, he was technically my ex, but we were so off and on again, I don’t think either of us knew where we stood that night. That’s exactly why I accepted his invitation. Anyway, that’s not why you’re here.” She offers a feeble smile.
Jade is pretty with petite features, tan skin, and a pert little nose.
Noah nods her way. “We’re sorry for your loss.”
She hikes a brow. “Apparently, you knew him, too.”
“Yes,” Everett says. “We went to high school with him many moons ago. He was a good guy. Always getting in over his head.”
She huffs out a laugh. “You can say that a million times over. So, who’s here for the new ride?”
Carlotta raises her hand straight up as if she was vying for teacher’s pet.
“I want something good looking, comfy, and full of guts in the event I need to make a quick getaway.”
Jade belts out another laugh. “Well, I certainly have plenty of those.”
Noah leans in and points my way. “She’s looking for a car, too.”
“Oh.” Jade’s eyes widen with delight. “Any requirements?”
“Comfortable.” I shrug. My Honda is plenty comfy, but I let that little detail slide for now.
“Very comfortable.” Everett dots a warm kiss on the top of my head. “She’s expecting.”
Good grief.
I scowl over at Carlotta as she titters to herself.
Jade’s mouth rounds out. “Then hands down, you have to take one of our new minivans for a ride. I know what you’re thinking, you’re not there yet. Some people feel very strongly against them. They don’t want to be the quintessential soccer mom right off the bat, but let me tell you, they’re more comfortable than almost any other vehicle on this lot—and they drive like a car. They’re just amazing. Before you reject the idea entirely, I just ask that the two of you take a test drive.”
“The two of us?” Carlotta looks dumbfounded by the idea. Serves her right. I hope she drives off with a school bus for all the misery she’s putting me through.
Jade nods. “You should really drive one, too. And that way you can hold it up to other cars. And who knows? You might want one yourself. Are you the grandma-to-be?”
Carlotta nods absentmindedly, her face vacant as if she just realized that she’s just been caught in her own baby dragnet.
“Great,” Jade says. “Then you really might want a minivan for yourself. I mean, you’re probably going to babysit.”
Unlikely.
Jade shrugs. “And you could be toting around an entire group of your friends. This is a great transport vehicle. And there is tons of storage room. You could live in it if you had to.”
I lift a finger. “She’ll take one.”
Jade laughs. “Then let’s go for a test drive right away.”
The five of us pile into the nearest minivan, and upon Jade’s insistence, Carlotta takes the driver’s seat and I ride shotgun. Jade takes one for the team and nestles between Noah and Everett in the second row.
I can’t help but make a face at her.
Carlotta fires the engine up, and soon we’re circling the lot.
“Woo-hoo!” Carlotta belts it out with glee. “This thing moves like butter! I can’t believe how comfortable the seat is, too.” She bounces up and down.
Carlotta’s right. This seat feels as if I’m sitting on a cloud. And my back really appreciates the lumbar support—not to mention the heady perfume of new car scent. My goodness, why do these cacophony of chemicals get me every time?
“How about leather seats?” Everett asks, and Noah chuckles.
“You’ll have to excuse him,” Noah insists. “He was born with an affinity for the finer things in life.”
“I don’t blame you,” Jade says. “Our top-of-the-line model comes with every bell and whistle you could want. And the backup camera is standard on the entire fleet. But as far as leather seats go, you could go that route, but I always caution young parents against them. When they get hot, they can burn exposed skin. The cloth seats are made of top quality fabric and they repel stains just as good as leather.”
“I’m sold on cloth,” Noah offers. “No way do I want the baby touching hot leather.”
Everett takes a breath. “I agree. Cloth it is. Are you on board, Lemon?”
A soft laugh fills me. “You bet.” Something feels right about all of this, something warms me right down to my soul. And for a second, I can see me driving this steely beast as the soccer mom in question.
Carlotta gives up her post at the helm and I take it for a spin, enjoying how smooth of a ride it really is. The comfortable captain’s chair feels as if I’m driving while seated in a lounger, not to mention there are enough electric blue lights on the dashboard that make it feel as if I’m manning the space station.
“How do you like it, Lot?” Noah calls from behind.
“I don’t like it.” A strangled silence crops up around me. “I love it!” I squeal like a schoolgirl.
A raucous cheer breaks out, and I drive us back to where we
began our soccer mom adventure.
We pile out and Jade starts in on the paperwork right away.
And while Noah and Everett do their best to get the numbers to land in the right direction, with the smaller number ending up on the left-hand side, I confer with Carlotta.
She picks up my hands and dances a little jig.
“I’ll get green—you get red, Lot. It’ll be like Christmas every time we park side by side.”
“Red? I don’t know. That seems a little flashy. I was thinking gray.”
“No way, Lot. When the fog rolls in, you’ll all but disappear on the road. You can’t have that. Think of Junior.”
“I’m thinking of you.” I pull her to the side, out of range of any roving ears. “Look where your little baby agenda landed us. We’re both going home with minivans!”
“You’re welcome.” She makes a face at my tummy. “And if you want people to stop thinking you’re having a litter, I’d recommend scaling back on the donuts.”
I suck in a quick breath, but before I can reprimand her for the slight, Collette Jenner appears in a spray of pink and blue stars, holding a donut.
“It’s nice to see the dead have a sense of humor.”
The redhead chortles. “I thought it was a nice touch.” She peers over my shoulder and tsks. “I wouldn’t leave those two men alone with that piranha. Come on, girls. We’re going in.”
“Not me.” Carlotta cinches her purse over her shoulder. “If I’m not around, one of your baby daddies might just foot the bill for my new ride. After all, I’ll be driving Junior to and from soccer practice.”
“Oh, you will not,” I say. “And they’re not paying for your car.”
“Fine,” Carlotta smarts. “Call me when it’s time to cut a check. I’ll be at the vending machine.” She trots off, and Collette and I head on into the office.
Everett pulls up a seat for me, and I land right between him and Noah.
Jade looks up at me from over her glasses.
“Well, I’ve got good news, Lottie. These two men saved both you and your mother a fortune. You’ve got quite the negotiators on your side.” She squints over at the two of them. “I’m sorry, which of you is her husband?”
Murder in the Mix Boxed Set 8 Page 44
