by Kaye Blue
So the best thing to do was get down to business.
“Is this about Vlad?” she asked.
She seemed tentative, but I stroked my thumb against her hand, telling her without words that she had no reason to be.
“No,” I finally said.
I wasn’t exactly sure. As always, Yuri’s summons had come without detail, but my gut told me this wasn’t related to Vlad.
“Take care of yourself, Aras.”
She leaned forward, pressed a soft kiss against my knuckles.
“I will,” I said, barely able to push the words out around the emotion in my throat.
Using force of will, I broke away from her, wanting to take care of business so that I could get back to her.
I reached into the black duffel bag that sat next to the kitchen table and pulled out a gun.
Her eyes widened.
“Do you know how to use one of these?”
“No,” she responded, seeming to recoil from the weapon.
I pushed it toward her, kept reaching out until she finally took it from my hands.
She held it like it was a venomous snake, and I was again struck by the sides of her I didn’t know.
Lake wasn’t a part of this world. I knew that, but these reminders were surprising.
Before, she had been a different person, one who wouldn’t have had anything to do with someone like me.
She did now, though, and I would see that she was protected as best I could.
“Point, pull the trigger,” I said.
She looked at me like she wanted to argue, but she didn’t try to give the gun back.
“It’s just a precaution. I hope you won’t have to use it; I’m pretty sure you won’t.”
“I don’t know if I could if I needed to,” she whispered.
“You could.”
She didn’t look like she believed me, but I knew it to be true.
Lake might not know it, but I did. She was a survivor, had made it through things that would have killed other people.
If nothing else, I hoped that all this would teach her to trust in herself.
“Don’t go outside, don’t answer the door, and if anybody but Ezekiel or Roman shows up, put a bullet in their head.”
I kept my eyes on hers, not allowing her to look away.
She finally nodded.
“Okay.”
I believed she would follow through, hoped she would if it came to that, but hoped even more she wouldn’t have to.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
I stepped toward the door but paused, went back to Lake.
I leaned forward slowly, not wanting startle her, and also wanting to savor this moment.
I softly brushed my lips against hers, but the passion that always sparked between us came yet again.
So I kissed her harder, tried to tell her with that kiss what I couldn’t say with words.
When I broke away, she smiled at me, the expression in her eyes speaking volumes.
I lingered a moment longer and then left.
The farther I got from the safe house, the more I tried to put Lake out of my mind.
The person I was when I was with her—a person I didn’t recognize, but one that I was growing to like—was a distraction.
Where I was going, the people I was going to be with, I couldn’t afford distractions.
So I drove toward the city, taking my mind further away from Lake, and deeper into the Aras who I had thought was all of me but who she was proving wasn’t.
By the time I made it to the meeting place, all trace of whoever I was when I was with Lake was gone.
All that remained was the hardened killer I had to be to survive in this world.
“Yuri,” I said when I stepped off the elevator and into the penthouse where Yuri was waiting.
I hadn’t bothered to take time to dress, his message seeming urgent.
“Aras, you had trouble,” he said.
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” I responded.
“Still, you should have come to me.”
I shrugged, feigning nonchalance that I was sure didn’t convince Yuri.
No matter.
I knew this was a very delicate game, and I would play my part to the hilt.
Or face the consequences.
“As I said, I handled it,” I responded.
“And do you know what that trouble was about?”
“No, but I’m going to find out.”
Yuri looked at me, his expression piercing, eyes boring into me.
It was a look designed for intimidation, but I wouldn’t yield to it. Like everything with him, this was a test, and the only way to pass was to pretend that I wasn’t being tested at all.
He held my gaze longer than I expected, but I gave no reaction, didn’t flinch, and certainly didn’t blink.
Finally, after several long moments, he nodded curtly.
“I might have some information about it,” he said.
“Really?” I asked, allowing my curiosity to show through.
“Yes. I don’t appreciate you keeping secrets from me, Aras.”
“Can you be more specific?”
He glared at me, but again, I didn’t blink.
If he knew about Vlad, this conversation would be going very differently. So I could only assume that this was about what had gone down at the compound.
“I think you know what I’m talking about. Every man needs a castle, and from what I hear, yours was quite nice,” he said, confirming this was about the compound.
“It suited my purposes, though not anymore.”
I allowed myself a moment’s relief, pleased I had guessed right. News traveled fast in our world, so even if no one had known about the compound, the dead Greeks and massive fire would have set tongues wagging.
There was no way Yuri would be out of the loop on that.
“No, I heard about that unfortunate fire. Shame that you had to lose a good resource, but like always, you did the right thing,” Yuri said.
“I appreciate you saying that.”
“It’s what I would have done.”
“You probably wouldn’t have found yourself in that situation in the first place,” I said.
It was true, plus a little flattery never hurt anything.
“Of course I wouldn’t have. But that’s why I’m the boss and you’re not,” Yuri said.
Another of his tests. And yet another line to walk.
His insult was clear, unmistakable, and I faced a choice. Let it lie, which would lose me respect, or fly off the handle, which would cost me my life.
As always, I chose the middle ground.
“I’m good at what I do, and you’re good at what you do,” I said.
He stared at me, and I wondered if he would accept my indirect answer.
After a moment, he nodded.
“Are there more secrets you want to share, Aras?”
“No,” I responded without pause.
“Good. Make sure it stays that way. In the meantime, I owe you an apology,” he said.
I gave no outward reaction, but couldn’t help wondering where this was going.
I didn’t think Yuri even knew the meaning of the word, so I was naturally curious as to what he was talking about.
“Meaning?” I finally asked.
“The trouble at your place. I think I know the source of it.”
“Something about business?”
“Yeah. Not like you expected it to be anything else. You keep your nose clean, so I knew it wasn’t some jealous husband or aggrieved father.”
“What then?” I said.
“That building deal, remember that?”
“Of course.”
“It seems my business partner didn’t appreciate the way I made my offer. He decided to take that displeasure out on you,” Yuri said.
“That dipshit? How the hell did he make contact with the Greeks?”
“The man keeps company with some u
nsavory characters.”
“Any response because of the dead soldiers?”
The dipshit was no concern, but I had killed five Greeks, and there might be repercussions for that.
“I’ll handle it. They were freelancing. Their bosses have to know that’s the cost of doing that kind of business,” Yuri said.
“And you’re leaving the other to me?”
“Yes. You will handle it appropriately.”
“I will,” I responded.
“In that case, fuck off. We have things to do.”
“Sure, Yuri,” I said, giving him a grudging smile.
I left then, feeling relieved.
I had lost my compound and the money that had gone into building it, but all things considered, this was the best possible outcome.
Yuri had no idea what was going on with Vlad, and Vlad seemed not to have made the connection to me.
So, at least for the moment, I could continue as I’d planned and make sure Lake wasn’t in any immediate danger.
At the thought of her name, the desire to go to her was strong, almost overwhelming.
But I resisted.
I would see her soon.
First I had to make a stop.
Aras
As I drove to my destination, I considered letting it go. Skipping this part of the evening and going directly to Lake.
But then dismissed the idea out of hand.
Besides the fact that Yuri was watching and would expect a response, I felt compelled to deliver one anyway.
That the dipshit had gone so far as to hire a hit team and had cost me the place I’d worked so hard to build demanded an answer.
But more importantly, the stress he’d caused Lake did too.
He’d given me ample reason to end his life, but the threat to her pushed it over the top.
I found his home with ease, initially surprised that he was stupid enough to still be there.
But then again, everything he had done so far had only proven he was an idiot, so this was no different.
He had no guards but probably thought he didn’t need them.
A man arrogant enough to think he could cheat Yuri, hire someone to kill me, wouldn’t consider something like that.
I quickly disarmed his security system and entered the house.
It was quiet except for the murmur of the television.
I followed the sound, moving cautiously but quickly, and made my way to a small den. I saw the television, but the room was otherwise empty.
“Don’t move,” a nervous voice said.
It took everything I had not to snicker, but I turned slowly and found him staring at me, gun extended in a shaky hand.
“Get out of here,” he said.
“You wanted to send me a message. Here I am.”
He narrowed his eyes, but I didn’t miss the way his pupils were dilated with fear, probably the pain meds he was taking for his broken hand.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You really should hire better help. The men you sent after me were obviously unsuccessful.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he repeated, pointing the gun at me again.
I ripped it from his hand before he even realized I’d moved.
The fear in his eyes intensified, and I glared at him, mostly annoyed that he was costing me time.
“You couldn’t leave well enough alone,” I said.
“You broke my hand! Stole my building!” he yelled.
“That sucked for you, but at least you were still alive.”
“Were?”
He didn’t get the full syllable out before I pulled the trigger.
He slumped down, dead before his body hit the floor.
I cleaned up the scene, made another stop at Yuri’s.
“Back so soon, Aras?”
“Yuri, one of your partners as had an unfortunate accident.”
“Guess I can imagine which one.”
“Yeah. But everything’s been taken care of.”
“I knew it would be.”
I nodded and left.
The drive back to the safe house seem to go in slow motion.
It was probably my eagerness to see Lake more than anything.
Some part of me wondered at that.
I had just taken a life, but it meant nothing to me.
As quickly as the thought cropped up, I pushed it away.
I had made my choices, just as the dipshit had made his.
I wouldn’t lose any sleep about it.
Which was messed up, but also the truth.
When I arrived at the safe house, Lake was sitting on the couch, the gun in her hand.
When she recognized me, the relief and adulation I saw in her eyes made everything else melt away.
“No visitors?” I asked as I closed the door and quickly scanned the video security I had installed.
“Quiet, almost maddeningly so,” she said.
“Beats the alternative,” I responded.
“That it does,” she said.
She looked at me again, her expression tentative.
“You’re done with work?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” she said with a huge smile on her face.
Aras
I held her long into the night, though neither of us slept.
I was enjoying the moment, but I could feel the weight of her thoughts as we lay there.
Was afraid of what those thoughts were, but wanted her to feel free to share them, no matter what.
“Just ask,” I finally whispered.
Six
Aras
I should have told her to do anything but, but the words came out before I could stop them.
“Why?”
“Why what?” I asked.
I was prolonging the inevitable, pretending I didn’t know exactly what she was talking about.
But as I had known she would, Lake brushed the weak denial off. Her eyes were lasered on mine, her expression a mix of openness, cajoling, and acceptance.
“You know what I’m asking, Aras. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I’d like to know, and I want to listen,” she said.
I looked away from her, needing the break, but then met her eyes again.
“You don’t know what you’re asking me,” I whispered.
“I think I do,” she said.
She couldn’t.
I looked away again.
Lake knew what horror Vlad could reap, but this was something different.
Because this wasn’t about him.
It was about me.
About sharing a part of myself that I had never shared with anyone else.
Sharing a part of myself that I had kept hidden so long I thought it was dead.
Lake had proven it wasn’t, but that didn’t mean I was ready to go down this road.
And yet…
I couldn’t dismiss it out of hand.
She wouldn’t have forced the issue. But I couldn’t just walk away.
Because as painful as thinking about the past was, as little as I wanted to do so, the idea of being that open with her, of sharing so much of myself, was tantalizing, almost impossible to ignore.
My connection with Lake was deeper than any I’d ever had before. Opening this door would only make it that much deeper.
And only put me at even greater risk.
Because she would be gone.
Eventually, when this was over, after she had survived it, she would move on to a life that didn’t include me.
So the deeper I allowed this connection to get, the worse it would hurt when it was severed.
That was true, but I could admit it wasn’t the entire story.
Because opening up to her meant thinking about things I had tried to forget.
Would mean putting myself back in a place where I was vulnerable, allowing myself, at least in those moments, to be the terrified boy I had been then.
<
br /> And there was no place for him.
I had done my best to wipe away every trace of that vulnerability, to make sure I would never be that again. I wasn’t so sure I could, or should, open that door.
I met Lake’s eyes again, saw that she was still waiting, patient, and before I knew it, the words had started to flow.
“He killed my parents.”
The sentence was so simple yet so monumental.
Lake didn’t react.
She just kept her eyes on me, her expression almost serene, patient.
“I was a kid. Seven.”
“You saw it.”
It wasn’t a question, but I didn’t stop to think about how she had known that.
“Yeah. I saw enough. If I hadn’t run away when I did, he would have killed me too, or done worse,” I said.
My voice was flat, lacking all emotion, but my heart was racing.
Memories of that night came to me sometimes, but I scarcely reacted to them anymore.
Tonight was different.
Tonight I felt like I was there again, could feel the almost metallic flavor of fear on my tongue.
Remembered how terrified I’d been, how angry.
The fear had left, but the anger had stayed, hardened, was the thing that fueled me.
I looked at Lake, saw the pity in her expression.
To my surprise, I didn’t react to it. Somehow, I knew that pity wasn’t for me.
It was for him.
For the boy I had been.
For the man I had never been allowed to become.
As much as I would ordinarily reject pity, any hint of it, I didn’t blame her.
Because I felt sorry for him too.
“I could have stayed, tried to fight.”
Before I even finished the sentence, Lake shook her head.
“No. You couldn’t have. You did what you had to do to survive.”
“I left her to die.”
Those were words I had never said out loud, but I didn’t feel any relief at admitting them.
The fact that I had done nothing to help my mother, to try to save her, was something I still couldn’t accept.
“You did what you had to. What you should have.”
Lake’s voice was strong, her conviction clear.
I didn’t bother to try to change her mind.
There was no point.
And besides, it wasn’t something I could change.
Lake didn’t say anything else, but I could see the wheels turning.
