by EJ Wozniak
Lumen walked in and found a booth. All the booths were red with glitter and had plastic covers. There was single seating near the kitchen with red swivel bar stools, but those were uncomfortable to Lumen. He chose a booth toward the back and smiled when he saw his favorite waitress, Shari, approaching. Shari was a plump, red-headed woman with a gaping space between her front teeth. She wore big hoop earrings and had long, painted fingernails. She wore black jeans that were seemingly too tight and an oversized white button down shirt that was always dirtied with food. She was always kind to Lumen.
All the servers were acquainted with Lumen and knew his usual order. His typical order consisted of chicken pot pie with a chocolate shake on the side. It was his absolute favorite. He always thought the chicken pot pie ingredients meshed together perfectly, all the right ingredients together in one. He didn’t have to think about what went together, it just did.
“How’s it going, Lumen? The usual?” asked Shari, smiling.
“Yes, please. Thank you.”
“Not a problem, sweetheart. You want the shake before or after your meal today?” Shari asked as she set down ice water with lemon on the table.
“I will take it after please.”
“You got it.”
Lumen felt comfortable there; no one judged him when he stared off into space, which wasn’t often there. For some reason, the lights were not as present in the restaurant. There was the occasional light panel, but nothing overwhelming for Lumen. He once noticed how the few panels he saw there were red. He figured it had to do with the reddish glow from all the glittered booths inside.
Kids his own age never ate at this restaurant by themselves. Lumen remembered the one time Blake came in. He thought he wouldn’t be able to come back now that Blake realized he dined there, but Blake didn’t even glance Lumen’s way that night. Lumen got a good kick at how his parents ordered him around and made him sit and eat properly; he was used to seeing Blake walk around the cafeteria and push other kids around. He often threw his food at the Study Club instead of eating it. Lumen wondered how he could go all day without eating.
Blake’s parents noticed Lumen almost at once that night, and they took great care to sit across the restaurant, away from the off child, even if it meant sitting next to the bathroom. He heard them tell Blake to leave him alone and not to bother him—not because they didn’t want Blake to bully him, but because they were not sure what would trigger him. Lumen thought a lot of the parents in town had some backwards thinking.
Lumen ate his chicken pot pie and slurped down his chocolate shake. He left money on the counter, waved goodbye to Shari, and headed back home across Inventa Way. He strolled across the street. Lumen crossed his arms and immediately felt goosebumps rise as iIt was a bit colder than he expected, a chilly signal that fall was fast approaching. He noticed more light panels as he made his way home. Looking up at the electrical wires, he observed more colors than just red but tried not to pay attention to them. He remembered how his mom told him he was sick and that, with hard work, it could be defeated.
“You can’t stare at them all the time, honey, especially in public,” she had told him after they left the doctor’s office.
“I can’t help it sometimes, Mom.”
“I know, I know. I just don’t want people staring at you. Please don’t point and try to grab them like you used to. The more you pay attention to them, the worse your sickness will get. The doctor says you need to stay occupied. I got you another puzzle . . . And take your medicine.”
“I hate the medicine, it just makes me tired.”
“I know honey, but it’s for your own safety.”
“Fine.”
They are just lights, he thought. What harm could they be doing? Aren’t schizophrenics supposed to be seeing monsters and other terrifying things? Aren’t they supposed to hear voices and make irrational decisions? He thought he should do more research on the disease before coming to conclusions on his own, but it didn’t seem right. He supposed it wouldn’t seem right to anyone.
Lumen walked across the street, trying his hardest to neglect the lights. He walked athwart his cracked driveway, through the half-dead lawn, and into his cozy home. The house was never entirely clean, but it was never a mess either. His mom often left the laundry on the plush blue couch for Lumen to fold. He didn’t feel much like doing it right then. Instead, he moved the clothes over and plopped onto the couch. This couch is the best, he thought. He sank in, turned the TV on, and watched some cartoons. He enjoyed his time away from school. There were no bullies, no mundane classes, and no one staring at him wherever he went.
Lumen watched a couple episodes of his favorite cartoon but began to focus on the lights. There were more panels than usual. All different colors: blue, green, yellow, a red panel here and there. They appeared unorganized and sporadic to Lumen. If only he could move them around into place, he would feel much better. The paper-thin panels of light that were floating all around him were overwhelming him. They were everywhere.
The phone rang. Lumen snapped out of it and walked over to the phone hanging next to the kitchen.
“Hello?” Lumen asked, his voice aloof and unfocused.
“Hi, hun, how you doing?”
“I’m all right, Mom. How’s work?” He said with more interest this time.
“It’s going to be a late one again. Did you eat?”
“Yes, Mom.”
Sometimes he thought his mom babied him. He was 15 for heaven’s sake. He wasn’t a child anymore.
“Okay good, can you please fold the clothes on the couch? How are you feeling tonight? Are you seeing a lot of them? Did you take your medicine?”
“I will, I’m fine, and no not really. I took my medicine,” he lied to Alice. Lumen didn’t usually lie, but when it came to taking his medicine, he had started lying more often. He had become a pro at not taking his pills. Lumen told himself the lies were justified as long as he kept his grades up in school.
“Good, good. Well, I got you a couple of new puzzles just in case you get overwhelmed. I put them on the kitchen table. I got to run. Please go to bed at a decent hour tonight. I know it’s Friday, but I would like to have breakfast with you in the morning before I have to go to work.”
“Okay, Mom, I will. Love you.”
“Love you too, hun.”
Lumen sighed, trying to decide on what to do. He thought about calling his one good friend, Alec, but he always had to babysit his siblings on Friday nights. Alec was the only person in the town who didn’t judge him.
Lumen walked back over to the couch and almost tripped over a dog toy. He hadn’t seen his dog, Wrigley, since he got home. This was strange since Wrigley usually came running to the door when Lumen returned.
Lumen instantly started to worry
“Wrigley? Where are ya, boy?” Lumen whistled for him.
No answer.
Lumen felt the panic run up and down his spine almost instantly. He darted to the back door, but it was closed. Did Mom let him out and forget he was out there when she left? She hadn’t done that before. Lumen frantically walked to his room and felt a wave of instant relief wash over him. Wrigley sat in the middle of the room with his back to Lumen, wagging his tail. There were papers on the ground all around him. Lumen thought he must have knocked them off his desk. Wrigley was looking up at nothing.
“Wrigley?”
Wrigley turned around and finally noticed Lumen. He wagged his tail so hard that he knocked over Lumen’s lamp; he was overly excited per usual. Wrigley was part German Shepherd, part Labrador Retriever. He was a fairly large dog, so when he jumped on Lumen, Lumen usually fell over. They wrestled on the ground for a few moments before Lumen got up and called for Wrigley to leave with him to the living room. Lumen picked up the papers and put them back on his desk.
As they left the room, Lumen looked at the spot where Wrigley was looking and noticed a glut of blue light panels. He shrugged it off and closed the door. “Maybe I
should take the meds tonight . . .” he said aloud to himself.
They walked back down the hall to the living room. He looked at the pile of clothes and sighed. Lumen had hoped they would somehow fold themselves. He walked over to the blue couch, turned the TV back on, and folded the clothes. He never enjoyed folding his mom’s clothes; he didn’t want to know what his mom’s undergarments looked like.
“Yuck,” as he tossed those to the side.
Wrigley sat beside the couch, chewing on something. Lumen looked down and didn’t recognize the toy in Wrigley’s mouth. It almost looked like a block of ice. His mom must have found a new toy for him.
Lumen finished folding the clothes and relaxed back on the couch. Shortly after, he went over to the kitchen and opened the fridge to see if there was any food. There was plenty of food there, but not anything Lumen wanted; he was looking more because he was bored. He decided he would check out the two new puzzles his mom had bought him and went over to the kitchen table.
Lumen was incredibly fast at completing puzzles. Ever since he had been diagnosed his doctor recommended puzzles to make him think and stay occupied, away from the lights. Even before the diagnosis, he loved doing puzzles. He loved piecing them together. In the first grade, while all the students were doing simple 25-piece puzzles, Lumen completed 500-piece puzzles with ease. As a teenager, he finished complicated puzzles faster than most adults. It was one reason he never fell behind in school. He had always been a great problem solver, not just with puzzles, but in every aspect.
If he hadn’t been diagnosed, Lumen probably would have been able to skip a few grades. He thought about that sometimes. He figured he must have more purpose. He felt he should be on his way to college already, with some Ivy League schools begging him to attend their schools. He could be one of the youngest doctors in the country, or work on space shuttles that could reach Mars, or solving world hunger. His doctors once mentioned that he could possibly be a genius. That was of course, overshadowed by the fact he was a diagnosed schizophrenic and he could only stay in the general classes as long as his grades stayed up. Keeping his grades up was never the hard part. Taking his medication and avoiding the lights, however, was a different story. Lumen had to go to the nurse’s office after his second class every day so the nurse could watch him take his medicine. The nurse, Mrs. Goebbel, was an older woman who had terrible eyesight. She wore glasses that enlarged her gray eyes so much that Lumen had a hard time looking at her directly. Each day she requested that Lumen open his mouth to show that the pill had been swallowed. Lumen became skilled at hiding the pill under his tongue and spitting it out in the bathroom after Mrs. Goebbel turned her back to him.
He learned that he should no longer do puzzles in school because it became yet another reason to be picked on. Blake and his friends hunted Lumen in the library during lunch and throw the puzzle pieces about, leaving Lumen to clean them up and start from scratch. From then on, he decided to stick to doing them in the comfort of his home, on the kitchen table.
He grabbed the dark blue box. It was a 2000-piece of Van Gogh’s Starry Night. He picked up the other box, which was maroon and featured a picture of Paris, France with the Eiffel Tower on the left side. He jokingly wondered if he could find La Dernière Pièce somewhere in the picture among all the cafes.
Lumen ripped the plastic of the Paris puzzle, opened the box, took a deep breath, and dumped the pieces out. He checked his watch for the time, 8:27. His mind raced. He completely forgot about the lights.
Wrigley trotted back to Lumen’s room.
Chapter 3 - Alec
L
umen put the last piece of the puzzle into place. He exhaled and then took a deep breath. He checked his watch. 11:13 PM. Lumen rolled his eyes. It took him 2 minutes longer to finish this puzzle than the last 2,000 piece puzzle he completed. He was frustrated with himself. Lumen strived to beat himself each time he did a puzzle.
“Are you kidding me? Get it together, Lu,” Lumen said bitterly to himself. Lumen decided to go for a run around the block to blow off some steam. His neighborhood was quiet, and he never worried about being robbed or jumped because they lived in a fairly small town. Everyone knew everyone. Word would get around about who did it eventually.
Lumen put on some gym shorts, laced up his running shoes, and left. He thought about taking Wrigley as he was walking out the door, but he didn’t see him. When he stepped out, he took a deep breath of the brisk fall air. Lumen loved the feeling of the cold air filling his lungs. He smiled and took off.
His neighborhood was well lit, and there were hardly any cars driving up and down the street. There were a lot of trees, most of which were almost leafless as winter approached. He ran by La Dernier Place and saw Shari getting into her car. She must have just gotten off for the night. Lumen waved.
He ran down the block and turned the corner. His neighborhood was one big loop, and perfect for a brief run. If he stayed left, he would end up at home eventually. Lumen started to breathe heavily as he passed one of his mom’s co-worker’s home. The house was dark, with no car in the driveway. The hospital must be short staffed tonight. Lumen wondered if his mom would even get up early enough to have breakfast with him the next day. He also remembered how his mom would not be happy about him going for a run this late.
“I don’t like you running this late. What if you get caught up in your lights and no one is there to snap you out of it? It’s dark out there, you could get lost, hun!”
“It won’t happen, Mom, running helps. I will take the medicine before I go if that makes you feel better.”
“I would feel better if you ran when it was light outside.”
“Fine, Mom.” He thought about the lights being present day and night, it doesn’t make a difference, he thought.
Lumen didn’t put up a fight with his mom ever. He didn’t want to make her worry or work harder than she already did.
Lumen began to sweat. He felt a cramp on his side. He didn’t let it slow him down as he passed Blake’s house. Lumen increased his speed slightly stretch of his run as he didn’t want Blake to see him. He could turn around and head back home the way he came, but the best part was coming. Most of the run was flat except for the end stretch. He reached the big, steep hill, looked up, and pushed himself up as fast as possible. There weren’t any homes up at the top of the hill, nor were there streetlights. It was perfect for stargazing. For others, it was an ideal spot to bring a date. Friday night was prime time for that. When he finally reached the top, he slowed down. No one was around. He was surprised and relieved to have this moment alone. He tried to catch his breath while he looked up, noticing the cloudy night.
“Dangit! There was supposed to be a full moon tonight. . .” Lumen said to himself out loud. He looked around to make sure nobody was around to hear him. He was still alone. The last thing he needed was for someone to find him talking to himself.
Lumen took a deep breath and started making his way down the other side of the hill where houses and street lights appeared again on both sides of him. He reached the bottom of the hill and ran another block and a half or so to his house.
He slowed down at his driveway and put his hands on his head. He tripped over the crack in the driveway. He looked around to make sure no one was around to see and hurried into his house. As he walked toward the kitchen to get a glass of water, he stepped in a big wet spot on the carpet. He stopped and looked down.
“Wrigley, did you pee in the house?” Lumen realized he should have taken him out before he left for his run.
He went and grabbed some paper towels and dabbed the wet spot. The towels did not appear yellow. He got down to smell the spot, and it didn’t smell like anything. Lumen thought it must just be water or Wrigley’s slobber.
“What kind of toy did mom give you?”
Again, Wrigley didn’t come to the door to greet Lumen as he usually did. Lumen was worried but figured he was distracted with a toy in his room.
Lumen wiped
up the rest of the water, or slobber, and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. He brushed his teeth while the water heated as he didn’t like wasting time. When the water was hot enough, Lumen finished brushing his teeth in the shower. He cleaned himself and got out as fast as he could. He wrapped a towel around himself and walked to his room. Wrigley wasn’t there.
Lumen turned around back down the hall calling for Wrigley. He went back to the living room and into the kitchen. No sign of him there either.
Lumen felt that familiar sense of panic he had experienced just hours before. Did he somehow let out Wrigley before he left for his run? He hurried back to his room to put some clothes on to go and look for him outside.
He reached his room to find Wrigley staring at nothing.
“Wrig, where were you? You scared the heck out of me.”
“Hey, Lumen.”
Lumen jumped back, and his towel almost fell off.
“What the . . . how did you get in here, Alec?”
Alec took a moment to answer.
“Uh, you left the door open, obviously . . .”
“You scared me half to death. Get out of here, I need to change. I‘ll meet you in the living room.”
Alec walked out of the room. This was the first time Alec had shown up without asking Lumen beforehand.
“You too, Wrig.”
Wrigley trotted out of the room. Lumen looked up while putting on his socks, noticing how many blue panels were in there, all bunched together where Wrigley was sitting. Lumen ignored them and got changed so that he could find out why Alec decided to show up out of the blue.
* * *
