by T. S. Joyce
His eyebrows softened, and the corner of his lip crooked up into a devastating smile. “And?”
“And I don’t know. Your timing isn’t awesome. I’m late to work, I just had the devil scared out of me by that house fire, and now I’m trying to track down—”
Ethan’s lips crashed onto hers. Reese was shocked into stillness, but as her shoulder blades pushed against the unforgiving planes of the door behind her, she melted into his touch. It had been so long since a man kissed her. Longer still since a man kissed her like this—like he wanted to.
He pressed his hips against her, and his hard erection pressed into her belly, bringing an instant burning want to her middle. He didn’t push her like she expected a shifter as dominant as him to do. Instead, he cupped the back of her head and tilted her chin up toward him. His other hand trailed a line down her ribs and untied the apron in back. She should stop this right now, but her willpower was non-existent. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since yesterday, and here he was, worshipping her lips and body.
He untucked her shirt and ran a soft touch across her bare hip. A moan left her lips as he ran his steady hand up her bare back and unfastened her bra. “Tell me to stop,” he breathed.
But that wasn’t what she wanted. He’d revved her up, and it had been too damn long. She was reckless to be closer to him—to forget the fear of the past year and lose herself with a man who could never really belong to her. In answer, she opened her mouth for him and he thrust his tongue against hers with a guttural sound vibrating against his throat.
Frantic with the need to feel anything again, she guided his hand to the front of her pants. “Please,” she said against his lips. “I need…” How did she even finish that sentence? She needed to feel wanted again, but how could Ethan, a stranger, understand that? Trent had only given her hints that she meant anything other than a good fuck for years, and now he was gone and she was alone with a load of regret.
She was empty, and dammit, she wanted to be filled with substance again.
The pop of the button on her jeans almost made her knees give out, but Ethan kept her upright and pressed against the door. Sliding his long fingers into the front of her panties, he grazed his teeth against her bottom lip when he touched her slick folds.
“Fuck,” he whispered in a shaky, helpless voice as he caressed her wet seam, like her readiness unraveled him.
She splayed her legs and urged his hand farther into the front of her jeans until he cupped her sex. As she rocked against his touch, he lowered his lips to the sensitive spot just below her ear. He smelled like crisp aftershave and animal. She leaned her head back against the door to give him better access to her neck.
She gasped at the pleasure of him plunging his finger into her. Arching against his palm, she silently urged him to press into her again. When he did, a fog of lust drifted over her. Frantic to be closer, to have more of him, she fumbled with the front of his pants.
“No, Reese,” Ethan rumbled. “It’ll bond us and you aren’t ready for that.”
“What?” she panted. Bonding was some bullcrap legend the elders made up to scare scandalous young shifters off of being promiscuous. Maybe Ethan’s clan hadn’t got the memo.
Undeterred, she pulled his button free and unzipped him. Yanking his briefs down with his jeans to unsheathe his erection, she stared down at it was such satisfaction as he pushed his finger into her again. It was thick and long and fully erect between them—ready for her.
She’d done that. She’d caused his excitement, and the thought emboldened her. Hormones raging under his practiced touch, she closed her mind to all of the reasons she shouldn’t be doing this. Pressure was building in her middle, filling and stretching until she was so close to the edge.
Palming the base of his shaft, she took a long pull up and he groaned and bucked against her. His bicep was flexed as he pushed into her again, and she cried out. She wanted more than this. She wanted all of him. Kicking out of her pants, she pulled at her shirt and shrugged out of her bra. His free hand found her breast immediately and massaged the fullness there as his lips pressed against hers again. God, he smelled good. The scent of his aftershave had disappeared now, completely eclipsed by the smell of his bear. And when she dared a glance into his eyes, they were silver like churning mercury.
Pulling his cock, she placed it against where his hand was, daring him. So close.
“Reese,” he warned as she pulled his hand from her sex. “I’m ready for this. Trust me when I say, you aren’t.”
Whatever that meant. She’d never wanted something so badly in all her life, and him warning her off intimacy only made her desire it more. She placed the head of his shaft against her, and his hips flexed, pushing in an inch, like he couldn’t help himself.
“Ooh,” she groaned as he pushed in deeper. He felt so good—so right—inside of her.
His hands gripped her waist and his muscular chest lifted as he drew a long breath. Resting his forehead against hers, he clenched his eyes closed and gritted his teeth as he slowly slid into her.
Everything felt hazy as he moved within her. Her body seemed to have a mind of its own as it reacted to his touch. His hands on her hips, guiding her, pulling her against him in a slow rhythm were conjuring such warmth.
She pulled the back of his hair and grazed her teeth over the tripping pulse of his neck, and he allowed it. This dominant, sexy shifter, more animal than man right now, let her express power over him. Her inner bear stirred, enticed by his scent and the way he made her body feel. A low rumble of pleasure clawed its way up her throat, and he answered her with three quick, deep thrusts into her. Tingling pleasure built stronger and faster, and she was helpless to stop now.
She was going to come soon.
As if he could sense how close she was, he set a faster pace, pummeling her until she cried out his name. Ethan seized just as her orgasm rocketed through her, and his pulsing release mirrored hers. She clawed his back, marking him as her entire center clenched around him. Warmth filled her and wetness trickled down her thighs as he swelled and emptied himself completely.
And in the final seconds of that blinding release, something happened. Something subtle at first, like a humming just below her surface. As it became louder and brighter, her bear clawed to get out of her. Ethan threw back his head and roared an animal’s challenge, and the bear inside of her answered with a feral snarl.
Stunned and confused, Reese pushed away from him and fell to the tile floor on her hands and knees. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see straight, couldn’t think. And the only thing that made it better was when Ethan knelt beside her and pulled her into his arms.
Tears of anguish and joy, loneliness and satisfaction streamed down her face as he rocked her. She’d slept with Trent uncountable times, but it had never been like this. His loss tore at her, bringing on a wave of guilt.
She should’ve waited longer for intimacy—waited until he was avenged.
Waited until it was with someone she loved.
And when she looked up into Ethan’s eyes, so like Trent’s, she had to bury her face into his chest just to keep herself from breaking apart. Sobs wracked her body and she clutched onto his shirt like a lifeline.
“What did we just do?” she cried, because it felt like so much more than just sex.
Something indescribable had happened between them just now. In her heart, she knew the change in her was permanent.
“I told you,” he said softly. “You weren’t ready.”
Chapter Six
Jesse handed him a beer and Ethan popped the cap and chucked it into the kitchen trash.
“I’ve called her twice already. Any more is too much. I’m not trying to crowd her. I just wanted to let her know I’m here if she needs anything.”
“Did you leave her a voicemail telling her it was you calling?” Jesse asked, slumping into the couch across Ethan’s living area. “Some people screen their calls and she didn’t know y
our number, right?”
Ethan had moved into the big house when he’d taken alpha six months ago, but it still didn’t feel like home. He was used to small spaces, and this place was too damned big for one person living alone. Bear liked dark and cramped, like a den. This place was all sprawling rugs and open concept. In the winter, it was going to be draftier than a cave.
“I left a message telling her to call me when she was ready.” Bear pushed a soft growl into his throat. He hadn’t called just for her. He’d called her so she could put Bear at ease. The damned beast had been trying to escape his skin constantly for the past two days. He couldn’t tell Jesse that though. He couldn’t tell anyone. If people around here knew how little control he had over his animal, they’d strip his rank and banish him. Monsters with no self-control were the most dangerous kind.
“What if she’s never ready?”
Ethan shook his head to steady the constant rattle of irritation in his throat. “Well, what the hell can I do about that? It’s out of my control. She’s beyond my control. It’s not like she’s in my clan, Jesse. It’s not like I can court her properly. She’s under Bron.”
Jesse sighed and took his hat off, then scratched at his ruddy hair. His freckles stood stark against his pale skin and the easy smile he usually donned had disappeared. “You’re sure you felt the bond?”
Ethan leaned forward on his knees and took a long swig from the cold bottle in his hand. The rich flavor of the beer fizzled down his throat. “Never been so certain of anything in my life. Something told me it would be like that and I tried to stop it, just not hard enough. I fucked up.”
“You feel different and everything?”
Ethan nodded slowly and dropped his gaze to the rim of the dark bottle in his hand. “Everything feels different. I can’t think about anything but her. Half the time I’m just hoping she turns up to put me out of my misery. I asked to take her out somewhere, do it right, you know? She looked so scared and said we did everything backward, and how could that ever work? Then she said she didn’t know me and didn’t want to and sent me packing. And it’s not like I can blame her. She said it herself I look like Trent Cress, and from what I hear, they were together since they were cubs. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me sometimes. It’s like she’s seeing him.”
“I thought you didn’t want a mate, Ethan. You’ve always been adamant about not bringing one into what you deal with. What’s changed, man?”
“Her. I saw her and I wanted her. Bear wanted her. He felt easy inside of me when she was around and it made me want things I had no right to.” Setting the bottle onto the coffee table with a clink, he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes like they would slow the oncoming headache. Shit. He’d messed everything up so badly. “The worst part about it is I didn’t get to know her. It’s not like I went over there to claim her, you know? I just wanted to see her—maybe talk to her awhile and learn something about her. I got two words out and then kissed her and let it get out of hand. And now I’m out of the running for her before I even got out of the damned gate.”
“In your defense, you haven’t ever pursued a woman so you don’t really know what you’re doing. And don’t look at me like that. The women throwing themselves at you around here don’t count. They want a glimpse at what makes Bear tick. They want to be the ones to fix you. I haven’t seen you connect on a personal level with a single person in this clan. Besides me, but that’s because I’m awesome. If Reese is it, and if Bear has chosen her, you can’t give up on her. She’s not ready, I get that. Let her mourn Trent the way she needs and hopefully, after some time, she’ll wonder why she’s feeling funny about you too.”
“She’s scared of me, Jesse. I could see it in her eyes when we were finished. She tried to get away from me and wanted no part of what had just happened to us.”
Jesse downed his beer and pulled at the corner of the bottle label. “A bond is a rare thing. It happened for you for a reason. It wasn’t just Bear who is ready for a mate. She is too. A bond says she’s special. I don’t know about all that fate and destiny crap, but I do know this. If Jonathan’s mother had bonded with me, she would still be around, and I wouldn’t be raising him alone. Give Reese some time. If she’s strong like you say, she’ll come around.”
Ethan sighed and stared out the front window at the shifters coming home from working the mountains.
If she didn’t come around, he’d have to carry this hole in his gut for the rest of his life.
The bond wasn’t some streak of luck he’d stumbled onto. It was a curse on a man like him.
****
Reese would just be nonchalant about it. She would ask Muriel and Samantha about bonds right out, like it was a theoretical question. Then they would answer, then they would all move on.
Confident in her plan, she shut the door of her old clunker Chevy truck and made her way through the hip height wild grass in front of Bron’s house. The cabin was nothing but charred ashes now, but she’d promised Sam she would help her and Muriel pick through the rubble and try to salvage anything they could while Bron was working on a construction job out of town.
It had been two agonizing days since Ethan had showed up at her house. He’d left a message on her phone, prompting her to wonder just how he’d tracked down her number. Trinity had dressed her down when she showed up to work late that day, but Reese hadn’t had it in her to care overly much on account of feeling drunk as a skunk for the rest of the day. Whatever magic mojo Ethan had put in her when he’d given her the boinking of her life was as potent as it was terrifying.
“Hey,” she called.
Sam was in the middle of what used to be the living room in a pair of old waders one of the boys probably used for fly fishing. Muriel was picking along the outside with a canvas bag thrown over her shoulder. Pulling a pair of work gloves from her back pocket, Reese tried to breathe from her mouth to stifle the smoke smell that had her bear growing restless inside of her.
“Where have you been?” Sam asked. “I’ve called you for two days trying to get you to come out for lunch. I even went by Buckeyes yesterday, but Trinity said you’d called in sick.”
Muriel bent over her sizable baby bump and struggled to move a half-burned plank.
Rushing to help, Reese said, “Something happened and I just needed a couple of days to figure things out.”
“What kind of something?” Muriel asked, pulling what looked like a jewelry box from the rubble.
“You grew up with Ethan, right?”
“Yes,” she said in a hard tone. “You’d do best to steer clear of that one, Reese. He’s trouble.”
Wait, what? “He seemed nice. I mean, at the camp when he showed me around.”
“I’m sure he’s nice enough, but no one would actually know that for sure, because in the years I knew him, no one could get close. He wasn’t born in the clan. He was the child of a couple of rogues, and when he came to us, he was in bad shape. He didn’t try to control his changes at all and he was a danger to be around. His animal is a beast. Violent and unstable. He didn’t even attend school with the rest of us because he couldn’t be trusted inside the classroom. And it’s not like he couldn’t control his shifts. He wouldn’t.”
Huh. Muriel wasn’t one to talk bad about people, and if she was giving a real warning, a wise woman would heed it. It did explain Ethan’s random shift as they were leaving camp. And the almost shift when they were in the throes of passion. A chill crept across her skin and she rubbed her arms to warm them.
“Maybe he’s changed in the years I’ve been away, I don’t know,” Muriel muttered as she tried to pry the crispy box lid off. “But when we were in his office, he gave me the same unsettled feeling he did when I was in high school. Like he was an animal pretending to be a human. And did you smell him? All bear. He had my hackles up the entire time. Why are you asking about him?”
“No reason.” Reese said, shaking her head. “Just wondering about him, so…that que
stion is answered. Stay away from Ethan. Got it.” Muriel couldn’t know it, but her words had caused such an aching disappointment in her chest.
Fifteen minutes drifted by as Reese sifted through clutter and mulled over the new, unsettling, information about the man she couldn’t stop thinking about. She tried to remember if her instincts had warned her when she was with him, but she couldn’t recall a single time. Maybe her bear was broken and liked danger.
No wonder he was alpha. He would’ve had to fight his way to second in the clan and then waited for Marsden’s alpha term to be over. If his bear had a violence problem, he would’ve relished the opportunity to fight all the challengers in his clan to hold second.
Reese hopped over a pile of rubble and made her way closer to Samantha to help her with a collapsed wall. Thank goodness for shifter strength, because while the debris was heavy, it wasn’t unmanageable between the two of them.
“Do you remember the moment you and Bron bonded?” Reese asked carefully.
“I don’t, but he does. I was human and just knew that I was really in love with him. He knew the exact moment we’d bonded and hid it from his father to try and protect me. Didn’t work though,” Samantha said darkly.
It certainly hadn’t. Bron’s father had laid plans to kill her before her hunter daddy put an end to the treacherous asshole.
Reese pulled up a hanger with what looked like a pair of Bron’s dress pants. Only scraps of fabric remained so she couldn’t be certain. “Did Bron ever say what it felt like?”
“He said he felt different. He couldn’t stop thinking about me, and the only thing that made it better was being around me.” Samantha frowned and crouched down to sift through a pile of shattered plates. “Muriel would know about a bond firsthand. Logan bit her and claimed her according to lion shifter customs, and didn’t tell her. He thought she wouldn’t be affected, but I think she was.”
