Many times in my life, I was scared and felt so alone. Lacking the confidence to see and feel the truth. I didn’t have a mother to teach me that. Never knew that being lost was a feeling we held onto ourselves. I found that I was as whole as I was because I could do and be whatever I wanted and create my destiny.
Having them as my family is a lot fun to have on my journey along the way.
∞ ∞ ∞
Solo and I just left the hospital from the scare with Dana and the complications she had with having her baby. I feel a little shaken up from the worry, and my nerves are fried. Thank God she and Maddy are okay, that’s all I can think of on a loop. I remember again how I went to clean her house this morning, then memories come back to me. I see her unmoving on the floor, and the chaos that happened afterward is life altering.
As we stand next to his bike, I feel the urge to pull Solo to me. I grip his face between my hands and kiss him like I haven’t seen him in months. He pulls back and smiles, “You need something, blondie?”
“Yes, Solo, I need you to make me forget this morning. But what I need from you even more is you to never leave me. You can’t ever leave me alone.” I confess my worst fear to him. A piece of my heart that aches, a foretelling possibility. So much has happened, and I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid, or if I really feel like he could leave me early. All I do know is that the hurt inside feels so real.
My hand runs up the back of his neck and then through his hair. He feels real as he’s standing here, breathing right in front of me. He bends down and kisses my neck and then collarbone, “Tami, I’m never leaving this world without a fight.” His hands dig into my hips and pull me into him. “I had a surprise for you today that’s waiting for you.”
I can’t help or hide the smile on my face while Solo’s hands roam under my shirt, and all the Battle Born brothers who are on their way out are watching us as he stakes his claim on me right here in the parking lot. “What is it?”
“Jump on and come find out.” His thumb runs over my nipple, and my body shudders from the light touch.
“It better be good, Solo. I’d rather you took me home right now.”
He backs up and places the helmet on my head, clipping it into place. My body feels disappointed from the loss of his hands. I’ve grown so addicted to his touch and kisses. He has claimed my heart with dominance and love, never letting me go. I never stood a chance.
We ride and stop outside the Battle Born Brothers Tattoo shop. Jazzy’s, who is Vegas’ cousin from California, flashy red sports car is parked out front. He tugs me along inside the building and my heart is hammering in my chest at what his surprise is for me.
He stops abruptly outside a room where Spider has pinned Jazzy against the wall. He is leaning over her, with a hand resting above her head. She is standing with her hands on her hips, glaring up at him. Whatever they were arguing about stops when she spots us and shuts up. Wow-uh, what is going on between these two?
Spider leans forward and snarls into her ear. Damn, that looked hot, and I really wish I knew what he said to her. It was probably really dirty. Jazzy’s face reddens in anger and turns back to look at him. She grabs his shirt and stands up on her toes to whisper her parting blow before letting go. His head bows for a second and then he pushes himself off the wall and storms out of her room, slamming the front door behind him.
“Bikers, am I right?” she laughs it off, then walks over to us. “I’m guessing by the look on your face that this is another surprise!”
Solo squeezes my hand, “Tami, I want you to wear my brand. I want you bound to my side forever.” He looks into my eyes and his are shining with promises of forever. “Consume my heart, thoughts and world with you forever.”
What I’ve felt and what I’ve always known is already tattooed permanently onto my heart. Those words are a quote from my book he borrowed. “Always and forever, Solo, you and I are a chance in a lifetime.”
Jazzy’s face lights up at our words. “Jesus, you guys have some magic over here. I need a soft man like that. A girl could get used to that kind of sweetness.” She is rattling on before handing me a tattoo stencil. It’s a small one compared to some I’ve seen. It has the outline of the wolf on one side and the other half is a rose that’s covering the wolf. The top says Battle Born and the bottom has Property of Solo.
“Also,” I hesitate to ask and look at the floor, “On the inside of my arm, can you write, ‘Consume my heart, thoughts and world with you. Always & Forever.’”
Solo doesn’t say anything but kisses my forehead to ask, “Where are you going to put this one, Tami?”
“On the outside of my arm, I think.”
He and Jazzy chuckle a bit at my shyness, and my face reddens a little.
“I can’t wait to see it.” He pulls me into a hug while Jazz sets up her supplies.
He sits at my side and chuckles when my eyes pop at the first touch of the needle. But I grin and take it because I’m a claimed woman by the man my heart cannot live in this world without.
It doesn’t take Jazz long before she wipes the tattoo clean with alcohol. It stings and I wince a little at that. She places an ointment on it, then wraps it up. Solo pulls out his wallet to pay her, but Jazz holds her hand up, “This one is on me. Tami, this is a gift I was to do for you, baby girl. Don’t waste a moment of your life.”
“Are you kidding me, Jazz?” An irate Saint walks in, holding some boxes he must’ve been dropping off. “You ding me for every service you do for Jenn, and here you are giving it away? Woman, what did I ever do to you?”
Jazz flips him off, “Keep it up, dick, and see what happens. I don’t owe you shit, and I know your ass is good for it. Leave the kids alone, and it was for her birthday.” She smirks and happily chirps with fake enthusiasm, “Happy birthday, girl.”
“I’m not paying you for shit anymore,” Saint grumbles as he dumps one of the boxes on the floor, next to Sunshine, the receptionist, then walks out.
“Bikers, am I right?” Jazz laughs it off, repeating herself from earlier. “He’s a blast to mess with. I always give Jenn the money back. He just hasn’t figured it out yet.”
“Ruthless woman,” Solo’s ttsk’s at her.
We say our goodbyes and leave together. As we’re walking out, we see Spider sitting on his bike in the parking lot, smoking. He is sitting there by himself and looks so far away and alone in this world. Kat was so right, that even though we have family and love, we can be alone until we find our own way, then we are truly home.
I hope Spider finds his way home.
∞ ∞ ∞
Solo and I take a long ride on his bike. It has turned into something he and I love doing together, and it makes me feel so much more connected to him as his woman that if I ever found another riding with him, I would go crazy and probably kill over it. That thought startles me, but it doesn’t make it any less true.
We pull up to an abandoned road, up on a hill that overlooks a park. It must be where the teenagers from around here come to make out. I get up from the bike and he does too. We walk to look over the edge of the hill and at the land that lays ahead of us. Solo takes my hand and slips on a ring. My eyes blink in confusion, and I look down to make sure that I’m seeing what I think I’m seeing.
He pulls my hand up and kisses the small diamond that’s now sitting on my finger. “Tami, I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted you and I wanted it all with you. Not today or tomorrow, but will you marry me when you are ready?”
I jump up and wrap my legs and arms around him. My lips seal my fate in a hungry kiss of my devotion to him. He kisses me back with as much hunger and lust that’s laced with love. Under the stars, we align our faith and fate.
Somehow, Solo and I found our home with love leading our way. Real love that’s perfectly imperfect, but that’s what my heart was set on. A man that would claim me as his, taking me and stealing my heart.
Always and forever.
Chapter 19
<
br /> Pawn
My eyes squint up into the sun as I’m walking out of the police station. I was finally released on bond and my trial won’t be for a couple of months. “Thanks, brother,” I say to Tank and follow him to the parking lot where the rock crawler truck is parked. “Did you bail me out to take me to the mine?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“Nah, brother, there is something you need to see out there though. Be ready for some crazy shit.” He unlocks the truck, and both of us climb in. On our way there, Tank tells me what they found out about Feather and the shit she did.
“I’m gonna fucking slap that bitch. I can’t kill her Tank! She’s carrying my kid. Fuck.”
“We got you covered there, brother,” Tank smiles like the devil, “She’ll be getting hers, eventually.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
“We are going to the mines so I can show you.”
We drive for another forty minutes before reaching our destination, and it is eerily quiet there. All but one bike is out here now. Solo’s.
“What. The. Fuck.”
Tank and I get out and meet Solo at front of the truck. “Nice to see you out, brother. We have something you might hate, or really enjoy, inside.”
I cross my arms over my chest and wait for these guys to finish telling me what the fuck is inside, and I see both of them waiting on me to move.
“Me, Kat and Solo kinda kidnapped your baby momma and are holding her hostage until the kid is born.”
That was why Tank had that devilish smile on his face which he’s still wearing now. “Are you guys out of your fucking minds? Then what?”
“Think about it, Pawn, she isn’t leaving the mine. Ever. She’s going to be toxic to the club for the rest of her life. She isn’t breathing a minute past the first breath that your kid will take. She’s an incubator for the next five months or so.”
“What the fuck,” I repeat as the day is crashing into my world, “Who is going to take care of the kid? My trial is in a few months. I could be locked up for a while over this shit.”
Solo slaps a hand on my shoulder, “You know me and Tami are going to help you, brother. She’ll do it, I know she will, and so do you.”
Rage consumes me at his words. Not at his words directly, but at the how unfair this bullshit is. A kid I never wanted. A woman I do want but who will never be mine.
I played my hand in this shit deal and am losing at luck horribly. My hands pump at the thought of Tami holding my baby, not our baby, and I probably won’t even be there to see it. A lot of this has to do with this bitch inside.
I storm into the building like a hurricane until I reach the main old office door that’s locked down. “Cool off, Pawn,” Tank demands, “Or you’ll never go in there.”
I brace myself with my hands on the wall and take a few deep breaths. Eventually, Tank unlocks the door and I walk in to find Feather in sweats and a t-shirt, lying on a bed. The only things in the room are books, magazines and a small T.V.
The woman snarls when she sees us walking in, but especially me. “What the hell do you three want? Finally came to kill me? I hope you get locked up for my murder, Pawn.”
“Funny that you won’t be around to see it,” Tank laughs at her. “What makes you think we are going away to prison? We didn’t when Brad died, did we?” he taunts her.
“At least I got one of you.” Her icy glare goes from Tank to me, and she smiles.
“True, I’m taking a hit from your bullshit. But you’re the one losing here, Feather. You see, your Brad was a dirty motherfucker, just like me. He was a bought and paid off dirty cop. He was following us around, trying to pin dirty shit on us.” I laugh out loud at the irony. “Here you sit, acting like some pure bitch when you and your man were playing dirty games. I bet you really hate yourself at the thought of it. Your man died like a dirty pig playing in the mud.”
I stare at the woman, and the memories of the past come forward, times I wish I could take back. “You rode my dick and came many times, and loved it, bitch. That’s what you hate most of all, isn’t it? I could make you come harder than he ever could, and you hated yourself for it.”
She glares at us, unable to say a word back at the truth of it all.
“Once you’ve gone Battle Born, you never go back. It’s a statistical fact. Battle Born dick is king!” Tank’s boisterous declaration has the three of us laughing.
“You’ll never get away with this, assholes. This kid has my DNA, too. Once I go missing, someone will put it together.”
“Will they?” Solo asks curiously. “We erased your doctor’s records of the pregnancy.”
“What are you doing?” she demands and screams more stupid shit while we walk out and lock her back in the office.
Tank shows me the monitors to her room and around the property that Spider’s installed. He has a video link that goes into his office as well. She will have twenty-four-hour surveillance until the kid is born and we take care of her. I just hope I’ll be around to do it.
“She is right about one thing, though, what about the birth certificate?”
“Pawn, Tami is going to be listed as the mother on the birth certificate,” Solo supplies the solution but also a dagger to my heart. I ignore the pain though. I can’t think about her now, too much is at stake.
“Is Emily Scott going missing? That’s going to look suspicious.”
“No,” Tank adds in, “My Kit Kat and I have plans, don’t worry about that piece, we’ve got it covered. Emily Scott won’t go missing and she will technically be alive, on paper anyway.”
I don’t ask more because I know that, when it comes to Kat, she keeps her business as private as possible.
∞ ∞ ∞
The next few months go by in a blur and I pull the most surveillance time up at the mines, watching Feather. I wanted the time alone up here, so I requested it. I needed time to think about this shit. Keep my head together for what’s coming up next, the trial.
It was a good thing that Tami and I didn’t happen because I was filled with so much anger and hate. I would’ve hated myself if I dragged her through this.
Some roads just don’t meet up like planned, but I’m starting to believe in myself. The parties and drugs were a way to waste time, and I would not have appreciated Tami like she deserved. I would have pushed her to do those same things, and I know I would have dirtied her and ruined us. I see that now, and I’m grateful that Solo is the man she chose. He will help my angel to fly like she was always meant to.
Blade is sitting across from me now. He drove up here to see me, along with Axl and Tank.
“Your trial is in a week, are you ready for what might happen?”
“Yeah, Prez, I realize I can be gone for a while. I’m not going to lie, I hate all of this. It’s a bunch of bullshit. But I can’t stop it. My past is going to bite me in the ass here.”
Blade agrees, “Aye, brother, you got hammered on this deal. Feather wasn’t going to stop until she got something or someone. Just like her man, they were reckless, and she will pay, just like he did for his choices.” Blade looks at the monitor, watching her in the office for a bit, then looks back to me. “She doesn’t have much time on this earth, Pawn, you do. You can still come out winning.”
I think about his words for a minute. “My past is going to bite me in the ass though. Before the club, I was busted for dealing pot, and was arrested several times with Solo for bar fights. Fuck.”
“Aye, Pawn. How do you think we got your name, a kid off the street who hustled weed or any shit to make a buck?” Tank shakes his head at me from where he and Axl stand across the room. “You see the kid now, you are going to make everything moving forward better because of that kid in that room.”
Axl goes back to open the door, and he and Tank help to push in a machine in, along with Kat and a doctor we use when we need him. “What’s going on today?” the bitch’s voice shrieks at us.
Kat smiles just a little, “Tod
ay, we are going to see your baby.”
Feather kicks and screams, not wanting to know what the sex is, still hating the kid that’s growing inside her. That amazes me like nothing else on this earth. Even though I hate this woman, I can’t wait to hold that baby growing inside her, even if the mother is poison. We work together to tie her down to the bed and gag her to stop her from screaming.
We lift her shirt, and Kat squirts some gel on. The doctor turns on the machine and places the instrument on her belly. The baby appears on the screen and I’m rendered speechless. Doc explains what everything is, even though I can’t really see it all. But the baby is healthy, and it’s a boy.
My son.
He prints a paper and hands it to me. I fold it up and hand it to Blade. “Take it to Tami for me?” He nods yes but doesn’t look pleased with me. I know I’m avoiding her, but there’s a good reason for it. I can’t see her without losing it. He can think what he wants, I know my limits.
∞ ∞ ∞
Solo
Blade walks into the garage and hands me some sort of a photograph. I hold it up. “What is this, a baby or something?”
He raises his eyebrows, “Yes, and congratulations, Tami is having a boy. Pick out a name before it’s born, yeah?” The asshole smirks and walks out.
“Not how I pictured this moment in my life would go,” I deadpan, rubbing my face. Some things we can’t control, but we can make them work, and I know Tami won’t say no.
Placing the picture into my back pocket, I go in search of her and find her working at the bar.
“Hey, babe, you have a minute?” I call out over the music that Jenn’s playing. It’s great having Jenn back. It always felt like a void in this place without her, we all felt it.
Tami walks out from around the bar area, and I lead her into the office where I quietly shut the door. I take a few seconds to look over her anxious face. This love can be so damn hard.
“Tami, the club and Pawn need you to do something, and it’s completely up to you.” I hesitate and watch her closely. “We need you to take Pawn’s son as your own.”
Always & Forever (Battle Born MC Book 4) Page 11
