by Eric Ugland
“I am done with that particular thought, Montana. You can respond as you wish.”
“Cool. I don’t think we should be playing in the game at all, Nik. We’re a backwater province. A growing town. We’re starting at the bottom, and we have a long way to go before—“
Nikolai held up a hand. “In this room, between these walls, we talk honestly without flair and without panache. This is the spot where we get work done.”
“Fine. I don’t think we should be trucking with the throne. Let the assholes down south deal with it, and we’ll build Coggeshall. When the dust settles and a new Emperor reigns, Coggeshall will be so fucking powerful they won’t know what the fuck to do with us besides leave us the fuck alone.”
“A pretty sentiment.”
“But?”
“Unrealistic.”
“Fuck you it’s unrealistic.”
“I am going to take the blame for guessing you don’t remember how the new Emperor is chosen.”
“By voting.”
“Correct. Do you remember who votes?”
“Fancypants people.”
“Do you recall what kind of pants you now wear?”
“Torn ones.”
“Metaphorical pants.”
“Metaphorically, I suppose you want me to say I wear fancypants and so I need to vote.”
“Not just need to vote, Montana, you are in the somewhat unique position of having no one above you nor anyone below you. You are beholden to no one, the last new peer made prior to the Emperor’s untimely end.”
“Okay, I’m still not seeing why that’s important.”
“Because you have free votes which are unaccounted for in anyone’s estimates.”
“So we just announce we’re sitting this one out.”
“They won’t let you do that.”
“What can they do?”
“Potentially, the rest of the Senate could band together and use your refusal to vote as grounds to strip your titles from you. Hence why you had to abide by the rules of honor when you fought those knights, while they were able to cheat. You are being held to a different standard because there are those who will look for an excuse to take Coggeshall from you. Especially if they can twist it so they might usurp the title for themselves. At which point, they’ll control your votes and they’ll be in the position to determine the next Emperor.”
“So you’re saying I have to vote for an Emperor or I’ll lose the title.”
“Yes, and all the land and your town with it, obviously.”
“Can I just vote for, I don’t know, not-Valamir?”
“Yes. At least at first.”
“Are you about to tell me there’s more than one vote?”
“Several. The first vote is more of a nomination process. And then there are more focused votes on the remaining candidates. And, finally, there are more votes if the initial candidate is rejected.”
“Rejected by who?”
“After the vote, there is a final test.”
“Which is?”
“Not something I have knowledge of, sadly. Few outside the immediate Glaton family do. Now, back to the problem at hand, most nobles in your position would either travel to the capital themselves, or send a representative to serve as their vote in the Senate.”
“So I should go to the capital?”
“Maybe. It has been something I’ve considered.”
“I don’t think that’s the best idea.”
“There has yet to be a vote called, so we have time. I doubt there will be anything happening officially until spring. Though we’ve seen that the workings are already in process.”
“Yeah, about that. Do we know who sent that army up against us?”
“My contacts in the Empire are not at all what they once were, so I admit to a failure in that regard. I don’t know. Neither does Wian. He’s been asking around. But we have no reliable leads.”
“Unreliable leads?”
“Ironically, the only thing we can say for certain is that Valamir is not behind it.”
“Unless it’s, like, a double secret backstab sort of a thing.”
“I’m not sure what that is, but I suppose, for the sake of argument, sure. If it’s a double, uh—“
“Double secret backstab sort of a thing.”
“Yes. That. If it is that, which it isn’t, then it might have been Valamir.”
“I always hated the man.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“You hate him.”
“Because I know him.”
“Can’t I hate him vicariously through you?”
“If I say yes, can we move on to the next item of business?”
“Did we finish with the princess?”
“There is a limit to what we can do about that. I suppose you could go after her, which is what Wian is hoping you will do. Or, you could send someone to find her, which is my suggestion.”
“Should I send someone who won’t find her?”
“What would be the point in that?”
“Dude, I don’t even know the point in of having her here in the first place. All she did was whine about being a princess and eat our food.”
“I take it you will not be going yourself.”
“I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time.”
“I can assure you that is not the case.”
“That it’s a waste of time?”
“That your imagination is so limited. I will ask Wian to put a team together and send them south after her. Agreed?”
“Sure, but let them know she’s not super important to me.”
“I will do no such thing.”
“Nikolai.”
“Montana.”
“Dick.”
“Duke.”
“Touché.”
“Next on the agenda—“
“The valley.”
“I’m sorry?”
“On new Fritz, I did a tour over the valley, so I actually know a bit more about what we’ve staked our claim on.”
“Can that wait?”
“I think it’s important.”
“We’ve been having our people go missing.”
“Okay, that definitely wins. Are you sure they aren’t, like, just going with the princess?”
“Yes. It’s not just humans. It’s spread across ages, species, and gender.”
“And these are missing people, not, say, killed?”
“It’s possible they have been killed. No bodies have been found, nor signs of struggle.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Apparently quite some time. Since before the whole mess with the ursus.”
“Fuck.”
“Yes.”
“And you have no idea why?”
“Not yet. And I understand that you might be about to yell, because Lee tells me that in your old world, this sort of thing was rare. But here, it is not that rare. There are many things that might cause a person to vanish, and though it is horrible and sad all the same, it is more a product of life here.”
“So we’re calling it acceptable losses or something?”
“Not in the least. We are saying it is not unusual that it happened. I still intend to put a stop to whatever is causing it, but it will not be all-consuming of the town. Just one more thing in the list.”
“At the top of the list.”
“The princess—“
“Is moving down the list below the missing people we actually care about.”
He frowned at me. But I wasn’t about to put a spoiled brat above someone who actually wanted to be here.
“Is there a chance,” I said, “that the princess just went missing like the others?’
“None of the others have left a note or packed all their things. But I suppose if we ignore those details“
I waved it away. “Just asking. Next on this list of yours.”
“Goblins. The night goblins are becoming an increasing menace.”
/> “Are they behind the disappearances?”
“If you speak to any of the kobolds, yes.”
“But you don’t think so?”
“I think there’s a possibility, but if goblins are getting into the base and making off with our people, humans and dwarves included, we have a very big goblin problem to deal with.”
“Given what I saw, I think we have a very big goblin problem to deal with.”
“What did you see?”
“Where the goblins have the entrance to their home. It’s really far from here. Like, multiple days walk.”
“I’m still not following why that’s a—“
“How far did our scout need to go up the worm tunnel to get to the goblin’s cave? An hour? Two? Their city, or whatever you want to call it, spans from an hour away from here underground, to several days away aboveground.”
“That is less than pleasant to consider.”
“Damn fucking straight it is. And weren’t you the one who told me that goblins bred like rabbits, filling each and every nook and cranny with themselves?”
“They are not known for requiring personal space.”
“So it’s several days’ worth of walking crammed full of goblins. Which, even with my skills and abilities, could be a legitimate threat.”
“If that were the case,” Nikolai said, leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling, “why did the goblins leave the kobolds around?”
“According to Baltu, because they needed regular sacrifices.”
“Oh. Well that’s not good in the slightest.”
“You think? They had enough juice to summon that big fuck-off worm that ate through the mountain like it was nothing. What else do they have the power to do?”
“This goblin issue might need to move higher up the list.”
“I figured. But apparently up until now, you though there was something worse than goblins to worry about.”
“Have you seen a clutch of vissen eggs out there?”
“I mean, I don’t know what those are, so I’m going to hedge my bets and say no.”
“They are a creature that has not been seen in the Empire for at least two centuries. Vile things. They breed quickly and seem to be be designed purely for death. They eat most everything they come across, and can attain greater forms. If a colony of vissen gets embedded, it’s—“
“Okay, okay. I’m going out on a limb here and assuming you’re asking randomly and there’s not a clutch of eggs out there.”
“Correct. I went with worse case scenario first.”
“I don’t think I saw any eggs or any vissen, and I’d like to sleep at night, so I don’t need to hear any more.”
“I have been thinking of having a primer put together for you. Some of the nastier creatures and how to identify them, what to watch out for, that sort of thing.”
“Would be quite useful. Also reminds me that I’ve got an egg I need to watch over. Maybe you could, I don’t know, point me to an animal handler or something?”
“Why do you have an egg?”
“Present from a god.”
Nikolai just shook his head, and rubbed his temples.
“Darius?” he said. “Might be your best bet. He’s been willing to deal with more monstrous creatures so far.
“Oh, yeah, Darius. The big minotaur from Oakland.”
“Let’s not, you know, speak on that.”
“I thought—“
He held up a hand a shook his head, and I got that he didn’t want to have more Earth talk.
“Okay then,” I said, “back to what I saw — Our valley runs into a larger valley, and there’s basically nothing between the two. Big cliffs and mountains all the way around until there, and then it’s just a gentle bit of hillside, and a wide open river that’s more or less a lake.”
“And?”
“I’m pretty sure there’s some sort of massive horde on the way here.”
“A horde?”
“I saw a cloud of dust coming across the plains.”
“Could just be a giant herd.”
“Herd or horde, I’d like to be prepared. Which goes to the second, uh, thing I want. A road.”
“To where?”
“Ideally, I’d like a network to go to all the important things in the valley. Make it easier for us to get around. And since you guys are killing it with big construction projects...”
“Kobolds and dwarves aren’t exactly keen on working out of doors.”
“Okay, but—“
“And should we continue the discussion of the goblin issue before or after we talk about this road network you’d like to build throughout the valley?”
“I think building the road might be a good way of establishing our dominance over the goblins.”
“Goblins react well to assertions of dominance.”
“Maybe they’ll run away?”
“Goblins certainly do run away when they are in small numbers, but this sounds like quite the grouping. I doubt we have the current power to push them out.”
“Which means war.”
“Not exactly where I was heading with it.”
“Question: could we get a Legion here?”
“A Legion?”
“Sure. A big group of armed men, trained to fight—“
“I know what they are, but I fear you’ve forgotten.”
“Okay, but isn’t that the point of Legions? To fight things threatening the Empire?”
“Sure, but we have a march, and that means we are expected to handle our business ourselves.”
“Okay, I wasn’t given that bit of information--“
“Because it was something discussed when Benedict came up with this plan initially. A march is a boundary state, which gives us extra freedom because we are not part of the inner Empire.”
“But we also don’t get a Legion.”
“No one gets a Legion.”
“Who determines how they are deployed?”
“On paper, the Emperor.”
“And in reality?”
“Those the Emperor appoints to handle such tasks.”
“And when there’s no Emperor?”
“Technically there is no one who does that job.”
“So how do—“
“You are starting to see the problem our country faces, eh? We need to have an emperor for things to work here.”
“Okay, so no Legion.”
“No. Even if we could get one here, how would you propose we go about feeding and housing the thousands of men and women who make up the Legion?”
“Tents?”
“Despite our best efforts, I am still worried about how we are going to keep our citizens fed through the winter.”
“This whole no-emperor thing seems like a massive pain in the ass.”
“It is.”
“So why have it?”
“It is the way the Empire was founded. It was written into the founding documents of our state over a thousand years ago.”
“Something being old doesn’t mean it’s right.”
“No, it does not. And while I admire your desire to improve the world, right now is not the time for a political philosophy discussion, is it? The goblins are a real problem, not a philosophical one.”
“As are the missing people.”
“Yes.”
“So let’s talk goblins.”
“Right. We have seen them make numerous trips up and down the tunnel. Initially, it was to capture the remaining kobolds who refused to join us—“
“Nothing we could have done to help them?”
“It wasn’t deemed prudent at the time. We keep only a skeleton crew to monitor the tunnel. By the time the goblins had moved on with their quarry, our reaction force wasn’t yet assembled.”
“Can we get a barracks down there?”
“It is on the list, yes. But to staff all these posts will require additional soldiers.”
“I thought all we had were soldiers.”
<
br /> “By the numbers, all we have are kobolds.”
“Okay, but—“
He put his hands up. “ I know it is important to you that we try and save everyone we can. In this case, it just wasn’t possible without putting too many of your citizens’ lives in danger. But past that, we determined that the rest of the kobolds fled or were captured from their warren, yet the goblins continue using the tunnel.”
“Looking for our door.”
“That is the theory, yes.”
“Do you think they’ll find it?”
“Goblins are, in my opinion, quite cunning. But only occasionally intelligent. They might find it, but I’m not sure it is something we should be overly concerned about.”
“Just keep watching?”
“Yes.”
“That’s the extent of our plans for them?”
“What would you have us do?”
“I mean, you know what my answer usually is.”
“Violence.”
“I mean, yes. Let’s just go fuck those assholes up.”
“I admire your willingness to address our issues by beating them to death. But we are not at a beat things to death stage. Especially given how big you think the goblin society is over there. Otherwise, and I believe even you said this earlier, you yourself might fail against their onslaught.”
“Fine. So we do nothing? We wait?”
“We do what every young settlement does. We build. We grow.”
“And then we kick ass.”
“Ideally.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Meetings with Nikolai tended to drag on, and this one certainly did. When it was finally my turn to update him on what had happened to me, I gave him the briefest version of events as I could. I told him about the ursus and their attempt to summon an entity over to this world. Then I told him about my trip to the other world, and he was just as flummoxed as I was that my death there managed to have me respawn here. Or, you know, here but on the other side of the Empire. He wasn’t super keen on me fucking with the Dark Queen’s army, but I said we were at war, and he seemed to relent.
“Where’s Ragnar?” I asked.
“Since he returned with more residents of our fair town,” Nikolai said, making it clear he wasn’t keen on the new residents, ie the minotaur mercenaries, “he has been working with the rangers, keeping an eye on the goblins. Or, shall we say, he has been part of the team attempting to keep an eye on the goblins. They are most active at night—“
