“Yeah. I think he did,” Ben says, giving me a guilty shrug. “I saw him walking down the street right after you left.”
“You saw him? He’s been gone since eight o’clock! And you didn’t do anything?”
“What could I do? He’s fine, I’m sure. You’re overreacting.”
“Overreacting? Really?” I stalk off, calling out to Pumpkin.
Ben hurries to keep up as I walk down the block, looking everywhere for that little orange form.
“Look, I didn’t mean to insult you, I just thought…”
“What?” I interrupt. “Just because you don’t like cats…”
“Me? I love cats! Where’d you get the idea I don’t like cats?”
I look accusingly at his dog.
“Choxie might not like cats,” Ben says, “but I have nothing against them. In fact, I happen to really like Pumpkin. I just I think that he knows his way around town is all.”
“No, he doesn’t! He’s not an outdoor cat! He could get hurt!”
“He’s not an outdoor cat?” Ben stops walking and looks me in the eyes. “Does he know that?”
I stop walking now too, irritated beyond words. “Just what exactly are you saying?”
“Just that that cat is always outside. I think he’s outside more than he’s inside. I mean you might not realize it but....he is”
I look down shaking my head. “I’m just really worried about him. I have a bad feeling. Maybe he does get out, and I don’t realize it, and maybe I am being irrational but… I can’t help it. I promised Aunt Agnes that I’d take good care of Pumpkin and now, after only one month he’s already missing. And I just…I sense that something’s wrong.”
“Fine,” Ben says, with a frown. “Why don’t you let Choxie help.”
“Choxie? How?” Frowning, I look at Ben’s dog.
Ben tells me to go get something of Pumpkin’s so I hurry inside and grab his favorite pillow. Then I rush back out and hand it to Ben.
“Good,” he says. He holds it in front of Choxie’s nose. Choxie sniffs it – or at least, I think he’s sniffing it. He might just be trying to breathe with an irritating cushion blocking his air passages.
But Ben thinks otherwise. “Go get him Choxie! Go find Pumpkin!” he commands, at which point Choxie takes off down the street, his nose to the ground, apparently on the trail of some invisible smell that only he can sense.
Ben and I look at one another, then quickly follow behind.
PUMPKIN
He doesn’t realize I’m in his apartment. He’s too busy talking on his phone. “Yeah, we went on our date,” he says. “Yeah, I think she likes me. It’s just a matter of time before I get it.” He moves the phone to his other ear as he looks into the refrigerator. “Huh? Yeah, okay, I will. But why? What’s the rush?”
I look over towards the door, wondering if I can make it out, when he spots me. “What the…”
I back up all the way against the back wall and stand on my two back legs. I hiss, making myself as terrifying as can be. Which must be pretty fierce as Rafe backs away from me.
“Whoa, chill.”
He stares at me. I stare at him.
“How’d you get here cat? Did you sneak into my car when I dropped her off?” He studies me with his cold, dead eyes. “Now just what am I gonna do with you? Huh?”
I hiss again.
He grabs a blanket off the sofa and comes toward me. “Okay…easy does it,” he says lifting the blanket up. “That’s a good kitty. Good and dead…”
I can see he’s going to drop it over me like a net but I can’t back up any further. I have to find a way around his legs. Or maybe rush between his legs before he has a chance to stop me. If I make it, I’m home free. If I don’t…well it’s better not to think about it.
I make a run for it.
“Gotcha!’ he says. He drops the blanket over my head.
Then everything goes black.
PAISLEY
I have to give Choxie credit. He really doesn’t let up. His tail stays up in the air, pointing and wagging the entire time. And his nose stays down near the ground, sniffing in a very excited yet focused manner.
Ben and I follow behind him, walking quickly to keep up. In fact, Ben has to hold him back at the street lights or he’d walk right through and into traffic. After about fifteen minutes we finally find ourselves down near the waterfront and Choxie’s pulling slows.
He stops in front of a pale green three story building with about twelve balconies in the front, facing the street.
“Where to now, Choxie?” Ben says to him, in that same excited tone. Choxie doesn’t answer. He sits down on the pavement and looks up at the building. Ben looks at the building, then over at me. “Seems like Pumpkin might have gone into this building. Any idea why? Do you know anyone here?”
“No. I don’t have a clue.” I stare at the building, then I walk over and look at the list of tenants names and intercom numbers.
“Anything familiar?” Ben asks.
“No. Nothing.”
As we stand there, a pizza delivery guy is buzzed in, and with a glance at Ben, I catch the door as it closes. Then I hold it open and the three of us, enter.
Tail up, Choxie sniffs his way down the hall. Then up two sets of stairs.
He stops in front of apartment 33.
I look at my watch and consider knocking but it’s after midnight and it seems inconsiderate. Besides. I don’t really believe that Pumpkin came here. Why would he?
I look at the name on the door. “Selma Slivovitz.” Did I really believe that Pumpkin walked three miles from my house to come to visit Selma Slivovitz? No. I was pretty sure that Choxie was way off on this one.
“I guess it’s too late to knock,” Ben said as if reading my mind.
“Yeah. Maybe I’ll come back in the morning and check it out. I guess we should leave.”
Ben nods and we all head back downstairs.
And for a minute I could swear I heard Pumpkin meow. But I know it’s my imagination. Either that or another cat is living in the building. After all, Pumpkin isn’t the only the cat around.
PUMPKIN
“Shush! Stop it! Rafe yell/whispers. I’m struggling and writhing like a maniac to get out of the black thing he’s thrown over me. I meow loudly and scratch but it’s so dark and thick and heavy that I can’t hear or see a thing.
“I said stop it!” he says again in an angry tone as clasps me tightly so I can’t move. He’s carrying me, moving towards his front door, and I can tell he’s trying to hear what’s going on in the hallway.
What is going on the hallway?
I have no idea. I pause in my struggle and listen. I sniff the air. I can’t make it out through the black veil of evil. So I start meowing again.
“Dammit, she’s come for you.” He pauses to listen some more. “And she’s planning on coming back tomorrow. Can’t let that happen.” He paces. “Maybe she should find your body tomorrow on the front curb in front of her house. She’ll think you were killed by a car. Then I could come over and comfort her.”
At this horrible idea I scratch and scream and hiss some more. But then everything goes black.
PAISLEY
Out front of the building I look up one more time. I don’t see anything. But Choxie is busy sniffing a high-heeled woman’s boot that someone’s dropped onto the street.
Choxie paws at it for awhile, then he picks it up and brings it over to Ben who tries to take it out of his mouth. But Choxie refuses to let it go, so Ben lets him keep it.
“I guess we ought to get back.” I say miserably.
“Yeah,” Ben says. “Pumpkin’s probably already returned home by now. He’s probably gone back out looking for you.”
“Ha, ha,” I say with a roll of my eyes.
We make it back to my house and at the door and before I go inside I turn to Ben. “Thanks for looking with me,” I say. “And I’m sorry about earlier.”
“It’s my pleasure. O
r our pleasure,” I should say.” He reaches down to pet the top of Choxie’s head.
At that point, Choxie drops the ladies’ ankle boot he’s been carrying around and noses it around on the sidewalk.
Ben stares at it with distaste. “Yikes. Maybe we should just throw the thing away.”
He bravely reaches for the slobbery boot. “What’s this? Looks like there’s something inside it…”
He’s about to reach in when a car pulls up, and we look over. It’s Rafe. He opens his car door and steps out. And who should jump out after him but Pumpkin.
“Pumpkin!” I say, running towards him and bundling him up into my arms. “Where have you been, you bad cat!”
PUMPKIN
She snuggles me and calls me a bad cat, but I can tell how happy she is to see me. Not half as happy as I am to see her, I’ll admit.
“Your cat must’ve snuck in the car when I dropped you off,” Rafe says, with a big phony smile. “But here he is – the furry little devil. Back safe and sound.”
“Thank you! I’ve been so worried.” She squeezes me tightly then gives Rafe a hug. I reach up to scratch his face, but he pulls away before I can accomplish it. Unfortunately.
She seems to be falling for his ‘nice guy’ act. Again.
“Well, I’m going to take off,” Ben says, pulling Choxie away towards his house. “Glad everything worked out.”
Paisley looks over at him, a smile lighting up her face. “Thanks again for helping me look for Pumpkin,” she says as Ben and Choxie walk away.
At that point, I notice the boot I dropped over the balcony is in Choxie’s mouth. He’s carrying it towards his house. I have to get that thing – it has important evidence of some kind inside it – but she’s holding me too tightly.
She looks down and buries her nose in my fur. “I was sooo worried about you,” she says, and I can hear the relief in her voice.
I guess she really does care about me. Who knew?
Rafe gives her what is supposed to be a charming shrug. “Yeah, imagine my surprise when I saw him in the back of my car.”
Yeah, imagine that. After he wrapped me in that blanket and threw me in there.
I must admit I’m pleased I managed to get in a few scratches.
“Oh no, did he scratch your arm?” she asks him. She sees the red welts which are nice and angry-looking by now. “Come on in. I’ll put something on them.”
Rafe shoots me a look of triumph, then he heads inside.
Just what is he up to?
PAISLEY
I feel a renewed sense of hope in my life. Pumpkin is back!
I didn’t realize how much I missed him until he disappeared. It’s like the house just wasn’t the same without him.
I swoop him up into my arms again and hug him, but Pumpkin doesn’t seem happy. He’s too busy giving Rafe the evil eye. I know I should scold him – for that and for scratching poor Rafe’s arm. But I just can’t. I’m just so relieved to have him back.
“I’ll go get you some alcohol and a band aid,” I say to Rafe as I head upstairs, a squirming Pumpkin still in my arms.
“Thanks,” he says absentmindedly, looking at the knickknacks on the entryway table. “Uh…maybe while you’re at it, you should lock the cat upstairs. Just until he gets used to the idea of having another guy in the house.”
“Sure,” I say with a smile. “Sorry again about your arm. I never realized Pumpkin was so jealous before.”
I carry Pumpkin upstairs.
PUMPKIN
“Okay Pumpkin – this is just for a little while. Just until I get Rafe’s arm all bandaged. Then I’ll let you out for dinner.”
She’s carrying me upstairs towards her bedroom getting ready to lock me in. I try to squirm out of her arms but she’s holding me too tightly.
I meow – trying to tell her not to do it. She just looks at me with an expression that tells me that she’s not even trying to figure out what I’m saying to her.
Oh well – I clearly can’t make her any brighter than she is. If she refuses to see what’s right in front of her whiskers, then what can I do?
I relax. I let her carry me to the room. And just as she opens the door to put me, I leap from her arms and tear down the stairs – ready to pounce on Rafe – who unfortunately, sees me coming.
He ducks behind the Christmas tree but I’m not going to let that stop me. I stalk him until he’s cornered in between the tree and the wall... and I pounce!
He reaches out and pushes me away – batting my body back towards the tree. I spin and grasp onto to the leaves of the evergreen, trying not to fall.
Which is when the entire tree comes down on top of me. And on top of Rafe. So there’s a silver lining at least.
“Pumpkin!” I hear her calling out as she rushes towards us.
I look in her direction as she heads down the stairs. As she does, Rafe grabs me by the neck and whispers into my ear. “I’m going kill you, cat. As soon as I get what I want –you’re dead.”
I hiss. I bat at his face. I’m just about to get a good full-paw scratch right down his cheek when I feel myself being lifted into the air backwards.
“Pumpkin! Bad cat!” she says, carrying me towards the den. She opens the door and puts me down. “Bad cat!” she scolds. Then she closes the door behind her and I hear her heading towards him, her voice apologetic. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I have no idea what’s wrong with him.”
“Don’t sweat it,” he answers. “Though I could use that Band-Aid.”
As I hear her footsteps heading up the stairs, I paw furiously under the door, trying to get her attention. To get the door open. But it’s hopeless.
PAISLEY
I head back upstairs to GAA’s bathroom to look for some hydrogen peroxide and band-aids. I really don’t know what’s gotten into Pumpkin tonight – but I’m pleased that Rafe is being so nice about it.
Searching the bathroom, I can’t find anything resembling hydrogen peroxide. Or alcohol or even a bandage. I open every cabinet in the hall bathroom then head to the master en suite.
With everything else in the house, I find it hard to believe that GAA doesn’t have a first aid kit of some kind. In fact I’d think it more likely that GAA would have a ton of first aid supplies in every shape and form. But so far, there’s nothing. I really feel at a loss.
I head back downstairs and look for Rafe, ready to apologize – but he’s nowhere to be found. Pumpkin, however, upon hearing my footsteps, starts furiously scratching under the door in fast motion. Which would be funny and adorable if I weren’t so upset with him. Which I am.
I pass him, ignoring his attempts to get my attention. I call out, “Rafe?” but he’s nowhere to be found, at least not on the first floor. He’s not in the sitting room or the living or dining room or kitchen either. I’m wondering if he’s taken off.
But when I look outside, I see that his car is still there. Confused, I look up at the second floor and see him coming out of one of the guest bedrooms.
“Rafe?” I say, surprised.
He slowly heads down the staircase toward me. “Sorry. Needed to use the bathroom.”
“There’s one on this floor. Right there,” I say.
“Oh, is there? I didn’t know.”
I frown over towards the doorway where Pumpkin is scratching so maniacally that I can’t ignore him anymore. “I guess I should let him out before he totally destroys the wood,” I say.
“Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave,” Rafe smiles.
“Thanks again for rescuing Pumpkin.” I say as I open the door for him. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, I’ll call you,” he says as he gives me a peck on the cheek and heads out to his car. I watch him drive away, then I go and release Pumpkin from his confinement. He darts out of the room and sniffs under the front door as if to make sure Rafe really is gone.
“You really don’t like Rafe, do you?” I say to him. He looks up at me and blinks – with that same dis
appointed expression on his face that he always has.
PUMPKIN
Finally. She’s going to sleep.
I’m lying on the edge of the bed waiting for her to finish her moisturizing and tooth-brushing and makeup removing and everything else that seems to take hours before she can actually get into bed and nod off.
I watch her, yawning, reminded yet again of the superiority of the feline race – we don’t need to spend hours before bed or hours when we wake up in order to perfect ourselves. We’re perfect just as we are.
Finally, she finishes, gets into bed and falls asleep.
I get up and tiptoe over to make sure she’s really out for the night. She mumbles something and rolls over and I know I’m good. Now I just have to get over and rescue that boot – before Choxie totally destroys it in a pool of slobber.
I jump off the bed with an easy grace and head down the hall, sniffing slightly on the way…I can tell Rafe was up here earlier. And it wasn’t to use the bathroom like he claimed. He was clearly in one of the furniture-stuffed guest rooms as his scent is quite strong in that area.
I think about making my way inside, but I figure that can wait. What I really need to do first is to go next door to Ben and Choxie’s.
After making my way outside – luckily, she hasn’t discovered my main escape route – I head over to Ben’s and crawl in through Choxie’s doggie door. The house is alive with the sound of a football game blaring from the TV in the family room and Ben lying back on the sofa, munching loudly on corn chips. He pauses and sips a beer then he puts it down on the floor nearby.
I tiptoe around, giving him a wide berth, when I see Choxie, lying on his bed sound asleep.
The red boot is between him and the wall and his paw is lying on top of it.
Careful not to wake him, I creep up onto his bed then grab the top of the boot with my teeth and slowly tug at it...
Candy Canes & Corpses Page 37
