by Mia Ford
I want this woman so badly that I’m almost going to burst with need. Her bedroom door is closed and I stop, pressing her up against it, kissing her deeply. She kisses back just as hungrily, our tongues tangling with each other, and I fumble for the doorknob. When I find it, I pull away from the door slightly and open it, not wanting to fall inside.
I avoid the open boxes on the ground, which are exactly where I saw them last on Saturday, and we fall down onto the bed. I settle between her legs, which are still wrapped tightly around me, and brace myself over her, our chests almost touching. She’s still wearing her underwear, and it needs to go.
“Your bra,” I say huskily. “You never finished your show.”
“Want me to finish?” she asks with a wink. “Step back then.”
She loosens her legs and I take two steps back. She props herself up on her elbows, her eyes meeting mine as one of her hands slowly drifts behind her. I hear a soft click and then the bra falls loose. Her gaze never leaving mine, she slowly pulls her arms out, and allows the bra to drop to the floor with a muggle whump. Then she leans back again.
“You first,” she says, her eyes drifting down to my boxers.
I’m about to kick them off, and then I pause. Then, slowly, I hook my thumbs in the waistband and tug ever so slightly at them. Her breath catches.
She isn’t the only one who can give a show.
I wriggle the waistband down my hips. Every part of me is telling just to hurry up, to shove them down and make this quick. But Allison is watching me with wide eyes, and the self torture is worth the hungry look on her face as my cock slowly jumps free and I bend over to push the boxers down my legs.
Then I stand, completely naked. I try to talk, but my mouth is dry. I clear my throat and try again.
“Your turn,” I tell her.
To my surprise, she drops back, angling her head so that she can still see me. She smiles and hooks her thumbs in the waistband of her panties, copying what I did, and slowly shimmies them off her hips, arching her back off the bed so that she can do it. Then she sits up, bending over to slowly push the material down her legs, looking up through her curtain of hair to watch me with a sultry smile. The panties drop to the floor.
There’s a bit of silence. And then I explode forward, my arms going around her and my lips meeting hers. Her hands are going everywhere, leaving trails off fire in her wake as she kisses back, biting my lip and then mapping out the inside of my mouth with her tongue, fighting with mine. I pant against her, cupping her breasts in my hands and kneading the soft skin, making her groan against my mouth.
Her hands find my penis and she grips it hard, tugging on it slowly, and my entire body shudders, not prepared for the sensation. The rest of the world drops away. There’s only Allison and her touch.
“Fuck,” I moan against her lips.
I push her legs apart and step between them. She’s sitting on the edge of the bed, and her ankles curl around my knees until I’m almost pressed against her, only her arms in the way as she touches me and tugs relentlessly on my cock. She’s going to drain me dry before we even get to the best part. My legs tremble.
As much as I want release, I don’t want it like this. I plant my hands on her shoulders and push her back, making her fall flat onto the bed, her hands slipping off me. I step in closer, our groins meet, and we both groan as our hips buck toward each other.
“I told you I wanted to fuck you hard,” I growl. “I want to come deep inside you.”
“Fuck, then do it,” Allison groans, throwing her head back, her legs falling open even further to give me room to move.
She’s so beautiful in every way. I look at her through lust-filled eyes, seeing how she’s splayed out on the bed for me, her chest heaving with passion, and all I want is to take her in every way possible, to touch her and ruin her and drive her over the edge of sanity. I surge forward, guiding my penis toward her, and circle her entrance with the tip.
“Oh god,” she whimpers. “Just fucking do it, already!”
I slowly slide into her. I want to slam forwards like I did the other day, but I stop myself before I can, panting with the effort of waiting. I don’t want this to be like that day, when we rushed through it just to feel as much as possible, to slam all memory of Jesse from Allison’s head. This time I want her to feel every inch of me as I slide into her, to know that I’m the only thing she needs to think about as I enter her.
It seems that Allison isn’t the only one who has a small possessive streak.
“Shit,” Allison cries, writhing beneath me until I’m seated fully in her.
The muscles inside her are pulsing, hot and heavy, and I pant, trying to calm myself before I release straight away. The feeling of her clenching around me is amazing, and I almost don’t want to move. I just want to sit there and feel her all around me, to know that we’re connected so intimately.
Then Allison’s thighs clench around me.
“Move!” she pants.
Her hips jerk up and a wave of heat rushes through me. I pull out slowly and then slam back into her, her eyes rolling back up as her hands clench on my shoulders, holding onto me for dear life. I clutch her hips, helping her to roll her hips up as I thrust down, sweat dripping from our bodies.
Allison’s hair is a tangled mess around her head. I didn’t tell her how it had gone frizzy after even such a short time in the helmet, amused and endeared by the sight, and now it’s even messier, splayed out around her head. I reach up with one hand and twirl a lock of her hair around my finger before burying my hand in it, clutching at it and tugging light at the strands with each thrust, anchoring myself in the real world before I get swept away on the tides of passion that are threatening to drag me under.
“More,” Allison moans, her head thrashing, her body trembling. “God, Kyle, I can feel you, every bit of you…!”
“Fuck, Allison,” I groan, panting harshly as I struggle to catch my breath. “You’re so tight around me. It feels so good.”
The words fall from my lips, but I’m so far gone that I’m barely aware that I’m saying the thoughts that are going through my mind. This feels amazing, and I’m so close. My thrusts speed up, angling in a different direction, trying to drag Allison under the tide with me. Her nails are sharp and they scratch into my skin, but I don’t have the presence of mind to care if she’s made me bleed. It’s all just another sensation.
Then Allison cries out and shudders, clenching tightly around me. It’s so overwhelming, and I thrust once, twice more before I bury myself deeply in her and come as well, trembling as the orgasm hits me and drags every bit of pleasure out of me.
Then the world goes silent, the roaring in my ears disappearing. I’m breathing hard, my heart thundering in my chest, and I can see Allison’s chest heaving as she lays on the bed, staring up at me, still buried inside her.
Finally, I step away, slipping out of her, and she sits up, her hands on my shoulders as she pulls herself toward me. She smiles and angles her head up. Knowing what she wants, I dip my head down and meet her lips.
We kiss slowly. It’s deep and intimate, not rushed and hungry like before, and our tongues slowly touch each other, curling around each other as I explore her mouth and she investigates mine. There’s no passion in this case. Just quiet contentment as we feel one another and come down off the high that we had reached, our bodies slowly calming.
Fuck, I love this woman.
The thought passes almost without notice. I watch it cross my mind and then mentally shrug. I can explore that possibility later. It explains a lot, I realize, and probably explains Ethan’s odd attitude yesterday. Maybe he realized it too.
Perhaps it’s too soon. Maybe it isn’t really love. But I think part of me fell in love with her on Wednesday night, when her brilliantly blue eyes met mine and she begged me, without words, for help. She became everything to me very quickly – maybe too quickly – and I can’t bear the idea of being without her anymore. My life without he
r in it would feel very empty.
But I keep these thoughts to myself. I’m not ready to acknowledge them just yet. I don’t think Allison is ready for me to voice them, either. I’m happy to just go along the path we are already traveling, exploring our new relationship.
I pull back and smile at her.
“Bed?” I ask.
She laughs.
“Bed,” she agrees.
We slide under the covers of the bed and curl toward each other, Allison’s head on my shoulder, my chin resting against her head as she tucks it into my neck. My arms wind around her, pulling her close, and having her there in my arms is better than any feeling I’ve experienced yet.
This is where I belong. I’m never letting this go.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Allison
When I wake up, Kyle’s arms are still around me and I’m tempted just to drop straight back to sleep, where I feel warm and safe. He’s sleeping deeply, his breathing slow and even, and I can feel his calm heartbeat against his chest.
I’m happy. How long has it been since I’ve felt this happy? I thought I was happy when I left Jesse, but it hasn’t been until now that I’ve realized just how much I’ve been stressing about everything. Jesse, college, travel, trying to unpack…
But here, in Kyle’s arms, I feel relaxed and content. I slowly close my eyes. I really should just go back to sleep.
But then my bladder becomes a problem. I grimace as it insists that I need to go to the toilet, becoming louder the longer I ignore it. Finally I huff in exasperation and open my eyes again.
Looks like I have no choice but to get up.
I slide slowly out of Kyle’s arms. He stirs but then relaxes back into sleep. I giggle. I’m not surprised that he’s so damn tired. He’s barely slept this week while he was keeping watch over me. I’m glad that he’s sleeping now.
I pick up my robe off the floor and shrug it on, tying the belt around my waist. Then I leave my room and creep across to the bathroom, shivering at the feeling of the cold tiles on my bare feet.
Unfortunately, the shock is enough to wake me up completely, and I grumble as I realize that I won’t be getting back to sleep now. I sigh and smile to myself. Maybe, then, I can make some coffee. I’m sure Kyle will appreciate that when he wakes up.
I head out into the living room. First I pick up Kyle’s clothes and take them back to the bedroom, so he’ll have something to wear when he wakes. Then I yawn again and head to the kitchen.
Maybe it’s because I’m still sleeping and happy. Or perhaps it just took me longer than I want to admit to notice the change in my environment. But it isn’t until the kettle finishes boiling and I turn to grabs some cups that I notice them.
They’re sitting on the kitchen counter and I frown. A bouquet of flowers? It isn’t a large bouquet, and they’re in a small, square box that’s packed with dirt and wrapped with cellophane. The flowers are colorful, exactly the type that I love.
Were they here yesterday? I know I didn’t put them there. Did Kyle bring them in? Even if he had, he wouldn’t have had time to put them on the counter. We went from the door, to the couch, and then straight to the bedroom. There’s also nowhere that he could have hidden the flowers; I would have noticed them as soon as he arrived.
So where did they come from?
My breath catches. The flowers weren’t here when I left my apartment to go on my date with Kyle. I’m almost certain they weren’t here when we arrived back at the apartment. So, at some point between Kyle and I arriving back here, and me waking up, someone has been in my apartment.
Was it Jacqui? She’s the only person that has a key. But I can’t see her doing something like this. If she was going to leave flowers, she would have messaged me or left a note or…
That’s when I notice the card.
It’s blue and nestled between the flowers, blending in with them. My heart rate settles. There’s a note. Maybe it was Jacqui after all. Though I’m still going to yell at her about frightening me half to death. She could have sent me a message!
I pluck the card out of the flowers and open it. As soon as I look at the writing, however, I drop the card back to the counter, trembling. It falls open on the counter.
I know that handwriting. It isn’t Jacqui’s.
It’s Jesse’s.
Jesse was in my apartment.
“Shit,” I pant. “Shit, shit.”
How the hell did he get in? I swing around, my eyes darting everywhere. Is there anything out of place in here? I can’t tell; the place is already an unorganized mess, so I really don’t know whether anything is missing or if something else has been moved.
Did he come through the door? I stride across the room. Surely it wouldn’t be possible; I would have heard someone coming in the front door. I twist the door handle.
And it swings open, unconnected to the door frame. It was already open. No, more than that, the lock on it is broken and the frame is chipped. My door won’t close anymore. I already knew it was hard to lock it, but not that it won’t close.
My chest is tight and I can’t breathe. My hands are shaky.
Last night, Jesse was in my apartment.
He came in, broke the door - quietly, or I would have heard it even while I was asleep.
He left a bouquet of flowers with a card.
Then he left again, swinging the door shut behind him.
A door that no longer closes, allowing him access to my apartment whenever he wants.
I almost go and wake up Kyle. But I stop myself before I can. This isn’t Kyle’s problem. He already hates Jesse for my sake. I don’t want him to get any more involved than he already is. This is my problem.
A voice in my mind that sounds like Jacqui’s is calling me an idiot, but I ignore it as I cross the room and pick up the card again. I didn’t read the card, but I think I probably should. If Jesse was here last night…did he see me? Did he see Kyle?
I read the words and close my eyes.
Look how easy it is to get in once I know where you are. Next time, I’ll do more than sneak in if I see him here again.
I don’t know if Jesse came in while we were having sex, or if he peered into my room and saw me in Kyle’s arms. I’m grateful that Kyle was here last night. Quite possibly, his presence prevented anything from happening.
But now…
The rational part of my mind is telling me to show this note to Kyle. This does involve him now. Jesse is now threatening me with Kyle. He’ll leave me alone if Kyle leaves. Or he’ll come after me if I don’t get rid of him.
The stubborn side of me, the part that is currently winning, is reminding me that this is still my fight. Not Kyle’s. Kyle has already shown himself to have a darker streak when it comes to Jesse. I don’t want to encourage that.
I pause and then tuck the card into my robe. There’s only one thing to do then, isn’t there?
I have to find some way to get Jesse out of my life. But I know that I won’t be able to do that while Kyle is around. So I need to remove Kyle from the equation until Jesse is gone.
I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I also don’t know how long it will take. But, this time, I’m going to see it through. No more just running and hoping he won’t follow me.
Then, and only then, will I be free to live my life.
It takes another hour for Kyle to wake up. When he leaves the bedroom, he’s fully dressed. I’m sitting at the table, sipping my second cup of coffee of the morning. By now I’ve planned exactly what I’m going to say, and what reasons I’m going to give him.
This is going to be painful. But it’s necessary.
“Morning,” Kyle yawns.
There’s a mug of coffee on the counter that I had made when I heard him stirring. He picks it up gratefully and turns to smile at me.
I don’t smile back.
“Morning,” I return quietly.
Kyle blinks as he takes a sip of his coffee, and then he lowers it. He frowns.
“Is something wrong?” he asks.
I take in a deep breath. It’s now or never.
“I’ve just been thinking,” I say. I sit up and look him in the eye. “First…I’m really sorry, Kyle. I’ve been sending you all these mixed signals because I didn’t know what I wanted. But I think I’ve figured it out now.”
“That’s okay,” he says.
He looks confused. But there’s a dawning understanding in his eyes, as though part of him has figured it out. His fingers are tense on his cup.
“So, what do you want?” he asks slowly. “Whatever is, I’ll support it, I promise. Even if…”
He trails off. He knows what I’m about to say. I give him a half smile.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should be together,” I say.
His expression doesn’t change. He takes a sip of his coffee and watches me, his eyes searching mine.
“Why?” he asks after a moment. “Am I allowed to ask?”
“Of course,” I assure him.
This is the test. Does he believe me? There are faint frown lines on his forehead, but he doesn’t seem overly upset. Or is he just holding it together for my sake?
I push the thoughts down. We’ve known each other for a week. We only agreed yesterday to start a relationship. This break-up won’t be as hard as it would be if we’d been together for weeks.
At least…I’ll try and convince myself of that.
“I really enjoyed last night,” I told him. “I liked getting to know you. But…we’re really different, Kyle. We don’t have anything in common. The closest thing we have in common is that I write poetry and you write songs. And even they’re vastly different. We don’t like the same music, the same movies, the same food. I’m at college and you’re…”
“A deadbeat mechanic,” he says flatly.
I wince. So, he’s more upset that he was letting on.
“No,” I say with feeling. I definitely don’t want him to believe that I’m using our status as an excuse for why we’re not together. “I just mean we have different interests in life. You’re an amazing man, and you’ve done so much in your life, but our experiences are so different. Even though we like each other now, I don’t think we’ll ever graduate beyond lust.”
