by Mia Ford
“It’s important,” I huff. “Because we only spoke about me being his girlfriend last Wednesday. Which was the day before we broke up.”
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot that you broke up,” Jacqui says. “Why was that again?”
I scowl. I knew, the moment I told Jacqui about it, that she didn’t believe my reasons.
“Because we aren’t compatible,” I snap.
“Yes, that’s right,” Jacqui says with a sage nod. “Well, you’ve broken up, so there’s no reason to worry about it anymore, right?”
“Right,” I huff. “I’m not worrying about it.”
We fall silent. I can feel Jacqui’s eyes on me. There’s a question bubbling up to my lips and I try to fight it down. But it escapes before I can stop it.
“It’s been four days and I haven’t heard from him,” I grumble. “Do you think he was lying when he said he wanted to be friends?”
Jacqui coughs. It sounds suspiciously like she’s covering a laugh.
“I’m sure he wasn’t,” she says when she regains her composure. “It just takes a little while to recover from a broken heart.”
I scowl at her.
“We were only together for a week,” I remind her.
“I thought you were only together for one night,” Jacqui returns. “It was just sex before that.”
“One night, then,” I snap. “That’s not enough time to have a broken heart.”
“Says you,” Jacqui mutters.
I roll my eyes. Jacqui has made it very clear what her opinion on this matter is. She thinks I’m an idiot for breaking up with Kyle, and I think she has her suspicions that our break-up and my move from the apartment are connected.
But I haven’t told her the real reason. The card is sitting in my wallet, a reminder of why I’m doing this.
Kyle isn’t the only one who can protect others.
“Allison, did it maybe occur to you that you were a little hasty?” Jacqui asks, raising an eyebrow. “I understand that you analyzed it and decided that you and Kyle weren’t compatible, but you didn’t even give it a chance. If you’re going to be like this about it, then maybe you should have tried a little harder?”
“No,” I say with a huff. “It would be harder if we broke up in a month or two because we don’t have any real feelings for each other. This is easier.”
Jacqui frowns. “I’ve never known you to take the easy route out.”
“Jesse taught me to be more careful about who I date,” I say, looking away.
Jacqui goes silent. It isn’t true, not really, not for the reasons I’m giving her, but I want her to stop digging, already. I’ve made my decision. Her attitude just makes it harder than it has to be.
“You know I’ll support you,” Jacqui finally says. “I swear, I haven’t even messaged Kyle since you told me that you broke up. You’re my main concern.”
That makes me feel a little better. I had wondered if Jacqui and Kyle were in contact at all. I hope Kyle doesn’t feel bad that he lost both of us, since I know that he and Jacqui were getting along.
“Even if you and Kyle didn’t look compatible, I think you were,” Jacqui continues, and my stomach drops. I need her to stop talking. “Even if you don’t have anything in common, why does that matter? You and Jesse loved the same music and movies and had the same taste in food, but you guys weren’t compatible at all!”
I wince. Yes, that’s true. My excuses kind of fall flat in the face of that.
“So, talk to me, Allison, make me understand what happened,” Jacqui says. “Even if it was only brief, you seemed really happy.”
I sigh. That’s true, too. Kyle made me happy in a way I hadn’t thought possible. My heart clenches at the thought of him. What is he thinking about me now? He asked me to give him a few days, but I haven’t heard anything from him at all.
“Allison?” Jacqui asks.
“Fine,” I sigh. “I just…don’t think I’m ready for another relationship right now, Jacqui. Jesse and I were together for two years, you know. And we’ve only been broken up for several weeks. Now, when Kyle comes along, Jesse comes back in my life, too. I think it’s all too much. Especially since my relationship with Kyle started because of Jesse.”
“What do you mean?” Jacqui asks, startled.
“Every time Kyle and I had sex, it was because of Jesse,” I explained. “The first time, he had just assaulted me and I used Kyle to forget about Jesse. On that Friday night, Kyle was only there because he was worried about Jesse, and then we both got really drunk. Then, on Saturday, those photos came, and I used him again to put it out of my mind. See? Our relationship is based on me trying to forget Jesse or being too drunk to care who I’m sleeping with.”
Except last Wednesday night. But I haven’t told Jacqui about that night. I told her that we went on a date, and then I implied we went our separate ways, only for me to call Kyle in the morning and tell him that we weren’t compatible at all. That memory is something I’ll keep close. Besides, if I told her about it, she would never believe my excuses.
Jacqui has a grimace on her face.
“I never thought about it like that,” she says slowly.
“I used Kyle,” I say. It’s the truth, and I’m not proud of it. “Twice, he tried to push me away, because he thought I wasn’t dealing with what happened in a good enough way, once on the Wednesday night, the next time on the Saturday. And both times I threw myself at him and begged him for sex because I couldn’t handle what Jesse had done.”
“Wow…” Jacqui says, her eyes wide.
I scoff. “I’m surprised he agreed to even be friends with me. Or maybe he only said that because we were already talking, and he didn’t think it would be polite to refuse. Maybe now he’s just going to pretend I don’t exist.”
“I hate to say it, but that’s what I would do,” Jacqui admits. “You really put the guy through the wringer, Allison.”
I sigh and slump. “Yeah, I know.”
Suddenly, my phone chimes. We both jump, not expecting the sudden sound. It chimes twice more before falling silent.
“A message?” Jacqui asks as I pick up the phone and turn it on.
My eyes widen. “They’re from Kyle!”
“Hey.”
“Hope you’re doing okay.”
“I know we’re not together anymore. But if you need any help let me know.”
I stare at the message, speechless. And then my phone chimes one last time with another message.
“I’m still here for you.”
I’m not aware I’m crying until the sob rips itself from my throat. I try and wipe away my tears because I have no right to cry right now, and I shouldn’t be crying considering I’m the one that broke up with him, but I can’t help it. Jacqui plucks the phone out of my hand and smiles softly.
“He’s a better person than I am, then,” Jacqui says, shaking her head. “Seriously, girl, why did you let this one go?”
Because I had to. I gulp in a deep breath and rub my eyes dry, reminding myself of that. This isn’t Kyle’s fight. It’s mine.
But…it’s nice to know that he still has my back.
“You alright?” Jacqui asks, rubbing my shoulder.
“Yeah,” I sniffle. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“Well, now you have your answer,” Jacqui says, handing me my phone back. “He definitely still wants to be friends with you!” She winks at me. “Maybe, if you’re lucky, he’ll still be there when you change your mind.”
“When”, not “if”, I notice. I give her a small smile.
“I’m glad he wants to be friends,” I say simply.
I really was afraid that I’d lost him for good this time.
“Want a coffee?” Jacqui asks.
“Please,” I say.
Jacqui pats me gently on the shoulder and leaps up, heading to the kitchen. I hear her rattling around cheerfully, the kettle rumbling as she flicks the switch. I draw in a deep breath, composing myself, holding my phone clos
e to my chest.
It was only a week, I remind myself.
But that excuse is getting harder and harder to believe. Only a week? It feels like a lot longer. I hope Kyle isn’t feeling the way that I am. I hope he’s doing okay.
I look at the messages. My eyes burn again and I rub at them, irritated at myself. Now isn’t the time for that. Slowly, I type a message back.
“Thanks.”
Then I hesitate. What he was sent was beautiful. Surely it deserved more than that. I consider this for a moment and then type another message.
“Please let me know if you need any help, too. I’m here for you as well.”
It feels stupid, considering I’m the one that broke up with him. But it’s the one full truth that I’ve told today. Sighing, I lower my phone and run my hand through my hair.
I really am an idiot, I decide.
Later that evening, Jacqui notices that we’re low on food, and she persuades me off the couch to do a food run. I sigh and grumble, but throw on a coat and some shoes. Then we drive down to the shops.
“There’s no dinner if we don’t get food,” Jacqui says cheerfully.
“So you said,” I sigh. “Why couldn’t I just have stayed at home?”
“Because you’ve been cooped up in the house all weekend, and I don’t want you to become a hermit,” Jacqui says. Then her smile fades. “Also…Jesse’s already broken into your apartment. Mine is more secure, but I don’t want him to break in and find you there alone.”
I smile at her, touched by her concern. I hadn’t even realized that this was something worrying her. I had noticed that she would drag me out with her every time she left, but I hadn’t complained about it until today.
“Sorry, I didn’t think about that,” I say to her. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
She winks at me. “That’s what friends are for. And, since you’re so grateful, you can push the cart.”
I laugh. It’s the first time I’ve laughed since Thursday, and it releases something that has been tightly wound in my chest since I found the flowers on my kitchen table.
And then I see Jesse.
I see him as we’re parking the car and my face drains of color. My hand shoots out and grabs Jacqui’s wrist before she can open the door.
“What?” she says, startled.
“Jesse,” I force out through stiff lips.
She looks up. Jesse is leaning against the wall of the building, smoking a cigarette. As I watch, he blows smoke at a passing couple who dodge around him with a look of disdain that makes him laugh at them.
What the hell is he doing here? I don’t think he’s waiting for me; while he seems to know I’m at Jacqui’s, there’s no way he would know that I would be coming here tonight. It seems he’s just hanging around to cause trouble.
But if he sees me, he’ll definitely approach us, and I can’t deal with that right now.
“What do we do?” Jacqui mutters. He hasn’t noticed us yet, and we both slide down in our seats. “Do we go somewhere else?”
“Is there anywhere else?” I ask.
“Yeah, but it’s a few miles away,” Jacqui says reluctantly.
I grimace. This place is close to Jacqui’s apartment and we’re both starving. We were hoping to be in and out, not have to drive around all night looking for groceries.
Then, suddenly, Jesse straightens. For one, horrifying second, I think he’s seen us. He drops his cigarette to the ground and steps on it, before snarling at something to the left. His fists are clenched beside him so tightly that they look white, even from this distance.
As I watch, he raises his fist to someone. But he doesn’t approach them. Instead he spits on the ground. Then his eyes widen and he takes a step back. In the next second, he turns on his heel and flees.
Jacqui and I stare, amazed. Then we look at each other.
“What was that about?” Jacqui asks, blinking.
“I have no idea,” I say.
Movement catches my eye. There’s a man walking into the parking lot from the direction Jesse was staring in. He’s straightening a leather jacket as he heads toward a motorbike and, when he turns around, I see a familiar symbol on the back.
My breath catches. So that’s what Kyle meant.
“Allison?” Jacqui asks.
“Nothing,” I say with a smile, sitting up. “Let’s grab the groceries.”
It seems that there’s a reason Jesse hasn’t approached me. The other people who are stalking me, the ones who disappear into the shadows… They aren’t following me. They’re protecting me and keeping Jesse away.
And I know exactly who set that up.
I shake my head in fond exasperation.
Kyle… You really don’t know when to give up, do you? I’m glad.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Kyle
Jacqui’s apartment has the added benefit of being right across the road from a little coffee shop. I feel sorry for the staff; I know all the men in leather jackets coming in and out are making them nervous, but it’s the best place to sit and relax while keeping watch.
I sip at my coffee and eye the door. From the reports I’ve gotten from the men I’ve roped into watch detail with me, Jesse hasn’t come near the apartment in days. Someone apparently even scared him away from the shops last night when Jacqui and Allison arrived there to do some shopping.
I wonder if he’s figured out. He must be blind if he hasn’t noticed all the different men, each of them wearing the same symbol on their jackets, who keep chasing him away. I hope he’s running scared, I think grimly.
So far, though, that’s all we’ve been able to do. Alex hasn’t gotten back to me yet, and I’ve just been left to keep a constant watch over Allison and Jacqui. I wonder if they’ve noticed too. I hope we haven’t scared them.
I sigh and lean back in my chair. Other than the messages we exchanged yesterday afternoon, Allison and I haven’t spoken since Thursday, when we broke up. Does it even count as breaking up? We only decided we could be together the night before, and then we went on one date. We had sex more than we dated.
I snort, making the barista at the counter give me an odd look. I wonder what Allison would say if I say that to her.
I’ve spent hours going over every bit of the conversation we had on Thursday, as well as looking for any sign that she was thinking about our lack of compatibility on Wednesday. But I just can’t figure it out.
It took a while for conversation to start between us but, when it did, it flowed easily until we were teasing each other and laughing like old friends. Then, when we got back to Allison’s apartment, we were all over each other, kissing and touching, desperate for more. There had been no sign, at all, of Allison’s change in feelings that night.
Then there’s the reasons she gave me. It all sounded good. It’s even believable enough that I’m still not sure if it’s the truth or not.
Because why would she break up with me just because Jesse broke into her apartment? That’s the one thing that doesn’t make sense. Did she break up with me to hide it? But that was stupid, there was no point in doing that. There has to be another reason for it.
And if there isn’t…
I swallow the lump in my throat. It means that, in the end, she was telling me the truth and she just didn’t see a relationship between us lasting very long.
I take a sip of my coffee and glance at Jacqui’s apartment building. No sign of movement. There’s a few people going past, but none of them look suspicious. I sigh.
Maybe this is all just in my head. Allison is with Jacqui now, and they’re living in an apartment that has much better security than Allison’s apartment. On top of that, I’ve noticed that Jacqui won’t go anywhere without dragging Allison along. Just last night they went for a five-minute run for ice cream; something Jacqui could have done alone, yet they both went.
Allison doesn’t need me. She told me she didn’t, and I didn’t listen. Now we’ve broken up, and she has Jacqui
to watch her with an eagle eye. In this equation, I’ve become redundant.
Despite this, however, I can’t make myself leave this fucking coffee shop.
Suddenly, the door opens. Jacqui leaves the building but, for once, she isn’t with Allison. I can’t help but smile. It seems like Allison finally managed to convince Jacqui to leave her alone for a little while. Maybe she really has noticed us hanging around, protecting her, so she feels okay about being alone for a little while.
Or maybe she just had enough of Jacqui hanging over her shoulder all the time and wanted some time to herself.
I grin. It could be either. Allison is stupidly independent, and it’s more of a surprise that she’s lasted this long.
I watch Jacqui race to her car. Her phone is pressed to her ear, and I can see the worry on her face from here. I wonder if she’s talking to Allison, reminding her to be careful. I can almost hear Allison’s sarcastic reply.
“I’ll be fine; I don’t need you to hover!”
I sigh and haul myself out of my seat, stretching my arms over my head and snatching my jacket off the back of the chair. I head to the counter and the tiny barista looks up at me with a nervous smile. I attempt to give her a friendly smile back.
“I’ll pay for the coffee,” I say.
“Yes!” the girl says.
She takes the bill and I wave away the change.
“Keep it,” I say, turning around. “It was really good coffee.”
“Thank you!”
I shake my head as I leave. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so tall. No matter who I come across, they’re intimidated by my size, as though they think that just because I look like I can lift someone up with little effort that I will.
Allison wasn’t intimidated by my height, I remember. She’s fairly tall herself, so my height is nothing for her to worry about. In fact, it’s probably great; she can actually wear heels and I’ll still be taller than her, as she told me gleefully at our date.
I look up at the apartment. There’s no one watching it and I don’t know what window Allison would be in. Maybe it’s time to call it a day for now; I doubt Jesse will be stupid enough to try anything after all the times we’ve scared him away. He, too, must have noticed the way Jacqui won’t leave Allison alone. Between my group and Jacqui, Allison is well protected, whether she wants to be or not.
