by Dawn Edwards
He was laughing but tried to stop when he saw the cut. ‘Shit, are you alright?’
I laughed at myself. ‘Yeah, so that’s why I went to get these ugly things.’ I reached out and kicked the shelf with my foot lightly.
‘Well, in the interest of keeping you safe, let’s find a place for this one and start picking up your things.’ Drew stood up and carried the shelf into the closet. Seeing no empty floor space, I bent over, fully aware of my big round ass on display in my tight yoga pants. With any luck, he was an ass man. If not, perhaps I could tempt him with my chest. I had both.
When I stood up, I could see him staring. ‘See something you like?’
He nodded, ‘Mmm hmmm.’ Slowly bringing his eyes back to meet mine. He coughed, trying to compose himself. ‘Where should I put this?’ he asked. ‘The shelf,’ he added for clarification.
I smiled. The closet, while a walk-in and a decent size for a closet, was a small space, and I felt myself warming up. I’d been turned on and tingling all night, but with him so close in a confined space, it was getting uncomfortable.
‘Will it fit next to the other shelf?’ I asked.
He moved some things around and was able to just shimmy the second one in the space. ‘Tight fit, but it’s in there.’ He smiled, and I knew just where his mind was going.
‘No lube required.’ I smirked.
He just shook his head and picked up a pair of shoes from the floor and placed it on one of the shelves. I started doing the same. I turned around and bent over, accidentally bumping into him with my behind. ‘Sorry,’ I whispered, turning away from him to pick up another pair of shoes.
‘I’m not,’ he said, placing one of his hands on my hip, pulling me back closer to him.
I stood up and let him turn me to face him.
We stood face to face, inches apart for a few moments, looking into each other’s eyes then down to each other’s lips.
He ran his hands down my arms, and when he got to my hands, he took the shoes that were in each one, dropping them back on the floor then locked my hands together behind his head.
‘Jessa…’ He let out a whispered breath. ‘If this is happening, I need you to drive.’
I took a breath and swallowed my fear as I leaned in, pressing my lips against his, placing one chaste kiss on his lips, to which he responded with partially opened lips. I kissed him back, and he opened for me, sliding his tongue across mine, and before I knew it, he had his hands in my hair and was pushing me up against the wall, with his hard length pressing up against my stomach.
It was a noticeable erection between us, tamed only by the restrictions of his tight beige chinos. It was new to feel a bulge in a man's pants, Matt’s was never noticeable.
I ground my hips into him while he reciprocated the motion, moaning into my mouth as he continued kissing me, teasing me with his tongue; he could move that thing. The pressure was building between my legs, I’d need a release later. God, this man was hot. I didn’t want to stop, but I needed to breathe. Pulling away, he looked into my eyes.
He was nearly panting, ‘That was…’
I nodded, catching my breath also. ‘I know.’
He palmed my face in his hand, placing a light kiss on my lips before pulling back, and peeling himself off me. He slid his hand down his pants, adjusting himself. ‘Sorry, it can’t be helped.’ He smirked, leaning in to kiss me again. ‘You always have this effect on me.’
I raised my eyebrows, not able to miss the always part of his comment. ‘You have similar effects on me.’
He smiled and giggled, running his fingers down my neck. ‘I make you hard?’ I blushed, too embarrassed to say how he affected me. He looked down at me, ‘Hmm?’
‘You make me wet…’ I whispered.
His breath caught, and he kissed me again, moaning into my mouth. ‘Fuck, Jessa, you are going to be the death of me,’ he said as he pulled away again, running fingers across my lips.
‘Mmm,’ I moaned. ‘But what a way to go.’ Dragging my fingers through his hair, looking at him.
We heard a door close down the hall, and I placed my palms on his firm chest and pushed him away. He took a step back from me and looked over his shoulder.
I took a deep breath and looked at the mess still all over my closet floor. ‘I should finish this.’ I sighed in defeat.
‘Do you want help?’ he asked me. I didn’t want him to leave, but I knew we couldn't, shouldn’t, keep doing what we had just been doing. It wasn’t safe or smart. A line had just been crossed, a line I didn’t feel guilty about, just scared. Scared of what Matt could do to me and my family; scared of what Drew could do to my heart.
Terrified of what Drew would think if he ever found out. God, I needed to prevent that from ever happening. He seemed rather scandal averse.
I shook my head, looking to the ground. ‘It’s ok.’
He lifted my chin with his finger. ‘Jessa, we good?’
I smiled and felt the blood rushing to my face. ‘Yeah, I’d say we’re really good. Aside from me needing to change my panties.’
‘I don’t want to leave you,’ he whispered, taking my hand in his. ‘But I doubt your parents would appreciate a co-ed sleepover, and honestly, I can’t share you.’
Ouch. And there it was.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
He leaned in and kissed me one final time for the night. ‘Sweet dreams, cupcake.’
Chapter 12
JESSA
IF I’D BEEN THINKING of Drew a lot before, he was all I was able to think of after that kiss in my closet. Feeling his length, his hard chest and the softness of his tasty lips. I got wet every time I thought of him, and it was hard to not stare at him whenever I saw him.
I hardly had any time with him all weekend, between my studies, social commitments, his work and my dad monopolizing his time.
Friday, I slept in much later than I had anticipated due to the fact that I wasn’t able to sleep for hours after he left. I took care of myself after he got me so worked up that I hardly needed to touch myself at all before I got off. Thinking of him the whole time, wondering how his fingers and tongue would feel all over me, especially down there.
Then I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that a man like him could be remotely interested or attracted to someone like me. He was far out of my league, guys like him had their pick of any hot woman around. As much as I wanted to give in, I didn’t feel I could trust it. I was already dealing with one con artist, I didn’t even want to entertain the idea of another.
Amber and I spent Friday afternoon getting manicures and pedicures, and I also got my hair touched up. I’d been a blond for over a year now. I’d only gone blond for Matt; needless to say, I wasn't feeling it anymore, nor as motivated to keep it up.
By the time Amber and I finished and had some dinner, Breton and Drew were already gone out to a bar downtown to watch the Bruins who were playing an away game. I felt a bit disappointed that they had left and not even asked if I wanted to join them. But on the other hand, I got it, they didn’t want me around to cramp their style—I’d have been the third wheel, and I hated that feeling.
Instead, I texted a bit with Matt, who was trying to get out of coming here for the long weekend. I should have jumped on it, I didn’t want him out here, no one wanted him here, but giving in now wasn’t going to help the cause—whatever that might turn out to be.
Giving me a hard time was his favorite pastime and putting up a fuss was part of that. If I didn’t invite him, he got pissed off, but when I asked him to join, he got sulky. It was a no-win situation, and I was constantly walking on eggshells. He used every opportunity to be with my family and their friends to build his name and business contacts and seemed to relish the attention he got from everyone.
Saturday morning, I woke up and got ready for the brunch that Mom had arranged at our house for the organization of an event to support a local food bank. I was wearing a pair of pink wide-leg capris with a thick g
rey bow belt and a white capped-sleeve fitted blouse. Another Miley-the-Millennial inspired outfit. I wore my hair down, still straight from the hairdresser’s yesterday. I carried my grey heels downstairs as I saw Drew walking in from the back door.
I hadn’t seen him at all yesterday. I blushed bright red, and he smiled at me. ‘Just the person I was coming to see,’ he said. I looked around to see my mother walking out of the kitchen with one of the caterers and was worried that we’d somehow get busted.
‘Good morning, Andrew, did Breton find you?’
He nodded. ‘Yeah, he’s just moving the van into the garage now.’
She smiled at him. ‘Thanks so much.’
‘Sorry, I know it’s an eyesore.’
My mother laughed and patted him on the arm. She was so carefree with him. I could never be like that around Drew without getting looks, and I hated the double standard. However, I knew my mother’s touch was innocent; mine, on the other hand, would be anything but.
‘It is, but we need the space in the driveway, we have lots of company coming this afternoon.’
‘I know,’ he confirmed. ‘That’s why your husband and nephew are taking me sailing for the first time.’
He turned to me. ‘I’m all out of sunscreen and don’t have time to run to the store. Do you have any I can borrow?’
I nodded, turning to walk back upstairs. ‘Sure, I’ll get it for you.’
He followed close behind me, and when we entered my room, I felt his hand on my lower back. ‘I missed seeing you yesterday,’ he whispered.
I turned around to look at him. ‘Did you guys have fun last night?’ I asked flatly, and I saw the recognition on his face that I felt slighted. I’d heard the taxi pull into the driveway just past midnight, so I knew he hadn't stayed out late or even possibly had the chance for a quick hookup. He didn’t seem the type for a quickie. In my mind, he was the kind of lover to take his time. God, I was making myself wet just thinking about it again.
‘Are you ok?’ he asked me in a low voice, his hand on my hip.
I nodded. ‘Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Well…’ He ran a finger up my arm, the touch causing goosebumps and tightness. ‘I feel horrible for leaving you the other night and not getting a chance to check in on you yesterday. You obviously know I went out last night, and I want to make sure you are ok with everything that happened.’
‘I’m fine…’
‘Jessa, please don’t lie to me.’
He put a finger under my chin and made me look up to his face. ‘I’m good,’ I said, ‘just confused, and now I’m getting all hot and bothered again.’ I playfully slapped his hands off me. ‘Now stop that, I’d rather not have to change my panties again before company arrives.’
He let out a deep belly laugh. ‘Fine.’ He put his hands in his pockets and let me walk into the bathroom.
I came out holding a bottle of sunscreen. ‘Jessa, I work outside for a living, I buy that stuff in bulk. I just wanted an excuse to steal a private moment and make sure we were still good.’
I took a deep breath, tossing the sunscreen to my bed. ‘We are all good.’
He took a step forward and kissed me on the temple. ‘That’s what I needed to hear, cupcake,’ he whispered, taking my hand and leading me to follow him out of my room. I let it go when we reached the hallway.
Halfway down the stairs, he turned to me and whispered, ‘You look really nice, those pants make your ass look amazing.’
As we reached the bottom of the stairs, my mother looked up to us. ‘Andrew, there’s some food on the counter, make yourself and Breton a plate before we put it out for the guests. Kathy prepared sandwiches for the sail, it's in the cooler in Steve’s car.’
‘Thanks,’ he said to my mom with a smile, walking into the kitchen without another word to me, for which I was thankful because if my face got any hotter from blushing, I’d burst into flames.
Drew was out enjoying the absolutely beautiful morning and afternoon sailing with my favorite guys—my dad and my cousin. He was quickly starting to become my third favorite person, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I put on my most convincing fake smile and pretended to enjoy shallow conversations and phony intentions. Less than a handful of people in this room were genuine. Having Amber here was my only saving grace.
I spent the rest of weekend organizing my room, hanging around the house, getting caught up on my coursework, and eye fucking Drew when he was working or sitting across from me at the dinner table on Sunday night, and watching another hockey game with my dad afterward.
Monday morning, as I carried my bag to my father’s car, Drew walked up to me. ‘Is there anything else in the house?’ he asked me.
‘Nope, I have everything else at the townhouse,’ I told him. I had agreed to work full-time at the company this week for my dad. There were a bunch of accounts that needed catching up, and there were a few presentations he wanted me to sit in on throughout the week. I appreciated he was bringing me in on more aspects of running the company, but he knew it wasn’t something I would be interested in taking on full-time in the future. I had made that abundantly clear to him, but I think he was still trying to convince me otherwise, especially now that Josh was gone and couldn’t take over the successful company our father had built and was continuing to expand.
It was another week that I’d need to force myself to see Matt and pretend; the mere thought of seeing him tonight made me nauseous. I’d hardly slept last night at the thought of it. When the anxiety threatened to take me under, I switched my thoughts to Drew, which was easy enough to do.
I had been calling Matt every night as if nothing else was going on. I pretended to put up a bit of a pout for not seeing him in a week, and he agreed to a date night with me tonight.
Trying to change the subject and focus on positive things, I asked Drew, ‘Are you excited about the hockey game tonight?’ Dad and Breton had invited him again when they were able to get a few tickets last minute. They were season ticket holders and had first dibs for playoff games; this was the first game of the Eastern Conference finals.
He smiled and nodded. ‘Yeah, Breton’s going to pick me up and we’ll drive in together, have a bite and meet your dad at the...rink?’ he asked, unsure of what the place was called.
‘They just call it the Garden, it’s an arena, TD Garden,’ I informed him. ‘It’s a pretty good time, and now with the playoffs going on, it’s going to be such a great atmosphere.’
‘You should come.’ He smiled, starting to reach out to me, but pulling back when he caught himself.
‘Not this time.’ I just smiled, feeling sick that I’d be enduring a dinner with Matt. At least it was in public.
‘So…’ He looked at me. ‘You’ll be back on Thursday?’
I nodded. ‘Cool, I’ll be in Boston on Wednesday, your dad set up a meeting to discuss designs for the departures terminal.’
I smiled wide. ‘Wow, that’s great!’ He seemed a bit shy to tell me as if he was boasting or something. ‘I’m so happy for you, that would be huge! I really hope it works out for you.’
‘Me too.’ He looked deeply at me again. Those eyes were going to be the death of me. ‘Would you want to grab lunch?’
Yes, and maybe have you for dessert. Fuck, I’d skip the meal…
‘Um…’ I started. I didn't know how to answer. Matt would have a fit, or worse, if he ever found out. I shouldn’t hesitate, in my mind and in my heart, things were over with Matt, once Breton found out the information he needed, I would leave him, never looking back and burying this painful and humiliating last two years of my life.
‘It’s ok if you don’t want to…’
‘It's not that I don’t want to,’ I was quick to point out, feeling the blood rise to my cheeks.
‘Ahh ok. I get it.’ He hung his head.
I reached out to him, placing my hand on his arm, firm under his hoodie. ‘Can I get back to you?’
He nodded, still no
t impressed. ‘Sure.’ He looked over my shoulder and took a step back. ‘Have a great day at work.’
‘Enjoy your night.’ I smiled and walked to the passenger side of the car.
My day went by in a blur. I did my work on autopilot, trying my best to be chatty with Zoe and Amber, all the while alternating between obsessing over my growing feelings between my legs every time I thought of Drew, and the nauseating feeling in my stomach when I remembered I had to endure dinner with Matt this evening.
At least I was pretty confident that he wouldn't ask me back to the condo afterward.
He was late, as usual, picking me up. I was the last person left in the office, aside from the overnight security that sat at the reception desk.
‘You’re late,’ was the first thing I said as I got into the car.
‘I’ve missed you too…’ he said in his most sarcastic tone.
I rolled my eyes, sitting on my hand to prevent myself from smacking the cocky grin off his face.
Dinner was fine. I kept the conversation alive by speaking about my work from earlier and my school readings. He drove me back to my parents’ house. After making plans for Wednesday after work, he kissed me goodnight and I went into the townhouse, running straight to my bedroom’s ensuite bathroom to vomit and shower his touch away.
I can’t keep doing this.
By Tuesday after work, I was so exhausted from hardly sleeping the last few nights, that I fell asleep on top of my covers on my bed, fully dressed with the TV on. I had missed dinner and woke up in the middle of the night with the blanket from the bottom of my bed over me, the TV off and my phone charging next to my bed.
It was almost 6:00 am. Knowing that I had dinner plans tonight and the possibility of seeing Drew today, I hauled my fat ass out of bed, showered and took extra time getting ready.
It turned out to be a grey and misty day. I left my naturally wavy hair down, it was past my shoulders, I’d been contemplating cutting it and coloring it back to my natural brunette color, but my mother was right to leave it as it was until after the wedding. And the blond, well, that was all Matt’s idea, I knew going back to my natural brunette would piss him off. Being an unnatural blond was a lot of upkeep, it looked ok when I took the time to do it, like today—even if the rain might just ruin it, at least I tried.
