by J. S. Cooper
"Okay." He cleared his throat and then looked a little bit sheepish. "I hope I don't get any of the words wrong."
"It's okay. I won't know if you do anyway. I won't know the difference."
"Okay. Well, here it goes. It's The Road Not Taken, and it's by Robert Frost. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry, I could not travel both and be one traveler, long I stood and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth, then took the other, just as fair, and having perhaps the better claim, because it was grassy and wanted wear, though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay in leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day, yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence. Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."
He paused, and I stared at him surprised that he could remember an entire poem. "Wow. I'm impressed. I didn't know you were a regular little poet there."
"There are many things you don't know about me, Olivia."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"Like that I love poetry. Did you know that?"
"No, I can honestly say I didn't." I felt ashamed of myself for judging him, thinking he was only a jock, thinking all he cared about was women and playing them. He had more depth to that, and I knew it. And yet I still judged him unfairly. "Why did you tell me that poem, Tyler? I don't really get it."
"I think I told it to you because there are always multiple paths in life. Right? There are some that are easier. There are some that are harder. And, well, sometimes you just have to go down the path that your heart tells you to go down. Sometimes the path not taken or the path you don't really want to take is the one you should take."
"What are you saying, Tyler?"
"I'm just saying that... I don't know." He shook his head and smiled slightly. "Maybe I'm being too intense right now. Let's get these drinks, and then we can talk about something lighter."
"We don't have to talk about something lighter if you don't want to." I reached up and touched his hair. A little bit of the blonde tresses fell out in my hand, and I gasped. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened."
"What is it?" He looked taken aback.
I put my fingers up to his eyes. "Some of your hair came out. I don't know why."
"Oh." He looked distraught and shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just wilting like a fur coat."
"Yeah, maybe." I dismissed it from my mind, but something worrying was starting to hit me. Was Tyler okay? Why was he so vulnerable about his appearance yesterday when I'd said he looked a little bit skinnier? That's when he'd reacted all funny. And when I said he looked a little weaker. And now his hair was coming out. My heart started beating rapidly as I studied his face. He was still the same handsome Tyler, but it was slightly narrower. It was slightly thinner. I thought it was because he'd grown up now. He'd lost his baby fat. But it was more than that. He looked sallow; if you could look sallow and still healthy. I wondered what was going on. And I made a mental note to myself to speak to my brother, Derrick, and ask him if he knew. Had Tyler had come down with some sort of sickness? Maybe he was getting over the flu or something. That would kind of make sense, though not really. I swallowed hard as I wondered if Tyler had been sicker than he was letting on. But why wouldn't he tell us? I didn't know.
I took a deep sigh and followed him over to the bar where he was ordering the drinks. He handed me a Rum and Coke with a big smile, and he said, "Cheers." We clinked glasses, and I took a long sip of the drink, welcoming the warm liquid as it rolled smoothly down my throat.
"Thanks. Do you want to have a seat?" I said as I looked around the room for somewhere to sit. I could see Brandon staring at us, shaking his head, his eyes following us as we moved. I felt bad. Brandon and I had had a connection. We had gotten on. And I'm sure he must now think I was some sort of player. Who goes to a speed-dating event when they've got a guy waiting for them at home?
But he didn't understand the complexity of the situation. He didn't understand that Tyler was more than just a guy I kissed last night. Tyler was someone that had been in my life forever. And I always saw him in my life forever. And I didn't know if we were to become more intimate if that would change. What if we made out or even had sex and it didn't work out and that ruined the friendship? Would I also be responsible for ruining his friendship with my brother?
I knew Derrick was a fun guy and pretty lighthearted. He was always with different women, always sort of flirting around. But I knew how much Tyler meant to him. Tyler had been his constant friend through everything he'd been through. And I knew that when he was in high school and when he was in college, he'd faced some horrible teasing from some of his teammates. And Tyler had been the one that had stood up for him. Tyler had been the one that had spoken to the other guys and told them to cool it. Tyler had really proven himself to be a good friend. And I knew that I didn't want to be the girl that came in the middle of that friendship. I loved my brother, and I knew that Tyler was really his only true friend. Could I risk their friendship as well?
"What do you think, Olivia?"
"Sorry. What do I think about what?" I realized that my mind had been drifting and thinking about other things. "Sorry, I didn't hear you."
"Wow. You must really be thinking hard about me, huh?"
"No, I'm not, Tyler."
"Don't lie. I know what you're thinking."
"What am I thinking then?"
"You're thinking, what would it be like to take my shirt off and kiss me?"
"I don't think so," I laughed.
"You're thinking, what would it be like to pull down my zipper?"
"Tyler." I shook my head at him. "That's enough."
“You're thinking, what would it be like to put your hand down my boxers and touch my-"
"Enough. Tyler, stop," I said before he could say the word that would make me blush even harder.
"What? Don't you like to hear the word cock?"
"Tyler."
"First you didn't like pussy, and now you don't like cock."
"Tyler, if you keep saying that word, I am going to scream."
"Cock, cock," he sang, and I just rolled my eyes.
"You're really too much."
"Am I though, Olivia? Am I too much? Or do you secretly love it? Do you secretly dream about me?"
"Dream about you doing what?"
He wiggled his eyebrows. "You know what? I'm going to stop now, though. I don't want to get you too hot and bothered."
"You're not getting me hot and bothered, Tyler. I think you're getting yourself hot and bothered."
"Oh yeah? Well, how would you like to see if your theory is true?"
"How am I going to see if my theory is true?" I held my hand up to his forehead, and he flinched. "Sorry, I didn't realize you didn't like me touching you."
"No, it's not that." He sighed. "I just don't like when people touch my forehead to feel for my temperature."
"Why?" I asked softly.
"Because it's just happened to me a lot recently."
"Oh?"
My eyes searched his, and he just shook his head. "Not now, Olivia."
"Okay."
There was this unspoken understanding that flowed between us in that moment. Something had been wrong with him. I could tell. But now was not the time to bring it up. He obviously didn't want to talk about it. And I had to respect his wishes. I only hoped that he'd be able to trust me and tell me later on exactly what had been going on.
"So do you want to test my theory?" he asked me teasingly, a smile on his face again.
"How am I meant to test your theory, Tyler?"
"Well, you want to know if I'm hot and bothered? Don’t you?"
"No, I don't really want to know if you're hot and bothered. I just assume you're hot and bothered."
"A
nd why would you assume that?"
"I assume that because you're here with me, and well, I'm hot. So you would be bothered." I laughed, and he laughed too. It felt nice to be flirting and bantering with him.
"Well, give me your hand," he said.
"Why would I give you my hand?" I stepped back from him.
"Give me your hand." He took a step towards me and grabbed it.
"Tyler, what are you doing?"
"Nothing," he said. And then he ran my hand down the front of his pants. I felt a hardness there that made me gasp and jump back.
"Oh my gosh, Tyler. You did not just put my hand there."
"Put your hand where?" he said with a little wink.
"You just put my hand on your erection."
"Oh, yeah. That's what we're calling it these days, huh?"
"Tyler, that is disgusting."
"Was it disgusting, or are you just turned on?"
"Tyler, I am not turned on," I lied. I could still feel the imprint of him against my hand. He had been hard as a rock, and from the feel of it, he was as big as one too.
"Can I tell you something, Olivia?"
"What, Tyler?"
"You have to promise not to be shocked though."
"I can't promise anything."
"Okay. Well, then I'm not going to tell you."
"No. Tell me. Tell me."
"I really want to kiss you right now."
"Really? That's what you wanted to tell me?"
"Well, yeah. I wanted to tell you that because I was hoping you would say you felt the same way."
"You were hoping I'd say that I wanted you to kiss me too?" I said softly as he took another step towards me.
"Yes," he whispered in my ear.
I could feel his warm breath tickling the inside of my ear, and I shivered slightly. His arms slipped around my waist, and he pulled me into him.
"Olivia?"
"Yes, Tyler?" I whispered.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked softly.
I nodded slightly. And before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine yet again. I could feel his warm lips pressed against mine as his gin-soaked tongue entered my mouth. I sucked on it, enjoying the warm masculine body next to me as my hands came around his neck and played with his hair lightly.
Tyler's lips pressed down on me hard. And it was almost as if he were trying to breathe me into him. I could feel his hand sliding down over my ass, squeezing. And I moaned against his lips. He seemed to enjoy my whimpering because he squeezed my butt even harder. I knew that things were starting to get carried away. My breasts pressed into his chest, and all I wanted to do was undo the buttons of his shirt so that I could take the material off. I wanted to touch his bare skin. I wanted to feel his chest hair against my fingertips. I wanted to rub my palms against his nipples. I wanted to feel him, to touch him, to taste him. I wanted to do all those things that I'd thought about for so many years and never been able to do.
But suddenly as he pulled away from me slightly, I came to my senses. We were still in the bar. People were looking at us. I felt myself growing heated. What was I doing?
"Want to get out of here, Olivia?" Tyler looked at me, and I just nodded. I didn't care. I had nothing else to say. I wasn't going to lie to him, and I wasn't going to lie to myself. It had been too long. I needed this. I needed it more than I'd ever needed anything in the world. Nothing in this moment mattered more than being with Tyler.
He grabbed my hand, and he led me out of the bar. And then as we turned the corner, we realized that we had to wait to cross the street.
"Are you sure you want this, Olivia?" Tyler looked at me, his voice deep as the lust in his eyes made me tremble even more.
"Yes. I'm sure." I nodded and squeezed his hand. He gasped in happiness and then pushed me back against the side of the building. He held my hands up so that I couldn't move them. And then he kissed the side of my neck all the way down to my shoulder blades, all the way along my collarbone and up my neck again. He then kissed back up to my lips, holding me tightly.
"Once we get back to your place, Olivia, I'm going to show you what it's like to be with a real man. You hear me?"
"Yes," I whispered. "I do. I hear you."
"Then tell me now. Tell me that you want it."
"I do want it," I whispered. "I told you that."
"I want to know that you want me, Olivia. I want to know that you want me more than you've ever wanted anyone in your whole life." His eyes were blazing, and I stared at him.
"Tyler, what's going on?"
"Tell me, Olivia."
"I want you, Tyler. I want you more than anything I've ever wanted in my whole life. It's true."
"And have you always wanted this? Have you always wanted me? Have you fantasized about me since you were young?"
"Yes," I whispered. "I have. How did you know?"
His words were wild as he stared at me. "Because, Olivia, I've always wanted you as well."
Chapter 14
Tyler
I kissed Olivia as tenderly and as passionately as I could. Every inch of me wanted to touch every inch of her. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop myself once we finally got this going. I looked into her eyes and searched to see what she was thinking and what she was feeling.
"Can I ask you a question?" I said softly, knowing that her answer could break my heart.
"Sure. What, what is it?" She looked back at me, her lips parted slightly.
"I want you to tell me what you see when you look at me."
"Huh?" She looked surprised. "What do you mean what do I see when I look at you?"
"What do you see? Tell me. Describe me to me."
"Tyler, I don't really know what you're asking me." She looked confused. "Do you want me to tell you that you're a hot ass hunky dunky gorgeous guy or whatever it was you called yourself the other day?"
"No. I want you to tell me in your own words what you see when you look at me."
She seemed to understand the seriousness of the question because she took a step back and she rubbed her forehead. She thought for a long time. Well, maybe it was seconds. Maybe it was minutes. I don't really know. It felt like an eternity. And then she opened her mouth and spoke.
"Tyler, when I look at you, I see a strong, handsome, intelligent man. I see bright blue eyes that call to me just like the ocean does when I go to the beach. I see silky luxurious golden blonde hair that I want to run my fingers through. I see a strong jaw that indicates how stubborn you are, how annoying you can be when we argue. I see strong hands that can protect me, make me feel warm, and make me feel comforted at any time of day. I see a chest built for holding me close, protecting me from the wind and the cold. And I see kindness in your eyes, a light that lets me know that no matter how much we argue or no matter how upset I get with you, you'll always be there for me." She smiled sweetly. "Tyler Redwood, when I look at you, I see possibilities. I see possibilities of a beautiful life. Now it's your turn."
"What?" I chuckled happy, happy in what she'd said. She saw a strong, handsome man. And that's who I wanted to be. That's who I was, or at least in my head. I'd become weaker in the last few months, but I was getting better. I had to get better. I needed her to see the strong me. I didn't need her to dwell on the weak me. I knew she'd seen that I wasn’t as muscular as I was before. I knew she had questions, but she was being patient. She was letting me tell her in my own time. And even though I didn't want to, my heart knew it had to. If we were to go anywhere, she had to know the truth, the full truth.
"Tyler?" She poked me in the arm. "Come on now. You have to tell me. What do you see when you see me?"
"I see a beautiful woman that I want to fuck tonight."
"Tyler." She slapped me hard in the shoulder. "That is not what I mean. I said something really nice about you. And that's what you're going to say to me?"
"Well, I'm just being honest," I chuckled. "Don't you want to fuck me too?"
"Tyler, why are you so crude
? You know I don't like it."
"I think that's why I like to say those words because I like to shock you. I like to see your reaction." I rubbed her lips gently. "I love kissing you. And I guess, you know, I like to turn you on."
"Tyler, tell me. What do you see when you look at me?" Her lips trembled slightly. "Please."
I looked into her earnest brown eyes, and I could see it was as important to her as it had been to me. Even though I had lots of feelings for her inside, I'd never voiced them out loud. And I wasn't sure I even knew how. Yeah, I could recite poetry, but those weren't my words. Those were words of someone else, someone else whose words resonated with me, sure. But not words that came directly from my own mouth.
"Olivia, when I look at you, I see my past, I see my future, I see my present. When I stare into your big, beautiful brown eyes, I see the warmth of a hundred suns. I see the honesty of a million years. And I see light and happiness. I see my light and happiness shining, reflecting in your eyes. When I look at your lips trembling so sweetly, so seductively, I feel the call of a thousand moons yearning to be with me, yearning to see me, yearning to understand me."
"Tyler, I didn't know you could be so sentimental and sweet," she said hesitantly. "Thank you."
"Oh, I'm not done, Olivia. I'm not done by a long shot. You know... Can you remember that time back when we went camping down near Miami?"
"You mean the time when we went to the Everglades?"
"Yeah. Do you remember that gator we saw?"
"Boy, do I remember. It was huge. I thought it was going to try and jump on the boat and eat us."
"Well, yeah, you know I wouldn't let that happen to you."
"You were always my protector, weren't you, Tyler?"
"I guess I never really thought about that. I guess I never really thought about it like that. But yeah, I guess I've always been your protector."
"You and Derrick, you've always had my back."
"Yep, we've always had your back and always will."
"But it's different now, isn't it, Tyler?"
"Yes, Olivia, it's different. Can we go back to your place already?" I was impatient. I needed to be inside of her already. I was done talking. Now I needed to feel her.
