by Zoe York
Sure, there was a touch of pressure. She wanted to be a good Mrs. Robinson.
Except…that wasn’t what this was. The man in her living room was a warrior, noble and proud, and he’d had his reasons for waiting. Now she’d somehow given him reason to take a leap, but could she be worthy of that choice? Plus he wasn’t going to need a lot of teaching, although when she thought about being the first woman to see that look on his face when he was all the way inside her…
“Are you okay?” Jared’s teasing words made her jump. His lips twitched. “The popcorn’s done. You’re just standing there, staring into space.” He pressed close behind her, reaching for the microwave. “Thinking about something good?”
She blushed—again, apparently, because it felt like her cheeks were already on fire. “Yes…” she murmured, pointing at the bowl for the popcorn. He emptied the bag, then stashed it in the garbage and lifted the tray. She stepped out of his way, then grabbed a bag of almond M&Ms from her secret hiding spot and followed him back to the couch.
Light streamed in the windows. She drew the curtains shut, acutely aware of Jared watching her the whole time. When she turned back to the couch, she was pretty sure her nipples led a painfully obvious advance party.
“Hi,” she said, all breathy and girly—she couldn’t help it.
He didn’t seem to mind. “I noticed you have a thing for Selleck,” he said with a grin as he patted the spot on the couch next to him.
She glanced at the DVD. “And you’re indulging me. Nice first date move.” She got the movie started, then curled up next to him. Warm, cozy heat emanated from his side, and she sank into the comfortable wrap of his arm over her shoulders. He smelled faintly of shaving cream and the ocean, but those were in the distance, and in the intervening hours since he’d gone for a run on the beach and shaved his cheeks clean, his own unique scent had taken over. Like dry, bright sunshine, and she wanted to rub up against him and soak it up.
It turned out she wasn’t the only Selleck fan. Jared knew some of the lines by heart.
“Do you have a secret Magnum crush, too?” she asked, tipping her face up to his.
He gave her that big, sloppy, boy-in-a-man’s-body grin. “More like I wanted to be a gunslinger growing up.”
She realized she didn’t have any idea of what Jared’s childhood was like. He had a brother—the one who was going to meet him in Vail but had to cancel because of work. She was pretty sure he was ex-military. But that was it. Questions danced around at the back of her head through most of the movie, but as the last few scenes played out, Jared’s fingers started moving more on her arm. She liked that move. A subtle test and one he’d pass with flying colors. She slid her leg against his, he dropped his knee, and all of a sudden their lower limbs were entwined. Any questions she might have wanted to ask faded away, masked by a hot, heady muzziness brought on by the growing awareness that they were about to kiss again.
No kiss in the history of this apartment had ever been more anticipated, or as slowly and deliciously stoked by a perfect first-date movie cuddle. It helped that no man in the history of her apartment—or her life—had ever been quite as hot as Jared Sutter. Or as kind. Or as…unsullied.
“Wherever your thoughts just went there, I like it,” he muttered, his lips brushing against her temple. She was still watching the credits, pretending she didn’t know what was about to happen. He was watching her. And she was panting like a poodle in heat.
“I was thinking that if I play my cards right, I might get to do some naughty things with you,” she murmured, staring straight ahead. Her pulse pounded. She’d never been one for dirty talk, but Jared had a way of turning her on with just a few words. She thought it was only fair to try and give him some of his own medicine.
Hot breath puffed against her skin. “What kind of things?”
She leaned into him, aching for more of his warmth. Maybe his entire body stretched out on top of her. “How about half-naked, shirts-off, touching kinds of things?”
On the other side of the room, the credits ended and the TV turned blue. But all she could see was Jared’s face moving toward hers, his eyelids heavy and his lips barely parted.
His mouth found hers, hungry and waiting. His hands, rough and freaking huge, circled her waist, and he tugged her into his lap. He groaned as she shifted in place, rubbing against his straining erection. It didn’t take him long to find her bra again, but this time he only cupped her breasts for a teasing moment before sliding his fingers to the clasp in the back.
As soon as he unhooked her bra, she broke away from him, gasping, and in silent agreement they pulled their shirts off in a simultaneous tangle of arms and cotton.
“God, let me look at you,” Jared rasped as he gently lifted her breasts and pressed them together. Cassie had never felt more beautiful than in that moment. She stretched her arms up through her hair and arched her back, feeling curvy and desirable and wanted. He lowered his head and kissed first one swell, then the other, before licking his way through the valley between them. She gasped at the unexpected wet brand, and he chuckled before repeating the swipe over her nipples. With a groan, he pressed her breasts tighter together, moving back and forth between her nipples faster and faster until he gave up and picked one.
She lurched off his lap with a cry as he sucked her left nipple deep into his mouth, and he palmed her ass with his free hand, pulling her back against him. He made a guttural noise as their cores re-aligned. She wanted their jeans off. She wanted him inside her, right there and then, but they couldn’t do that.
“I want you so much, Cassie,” he said as he shifted his attention to her other breast. The first one felt swollen and achy, but as if he knew she still needed him there, his fingers found her nipple and started teasing her again. “What do you want?”
“You,” she whispered, holding his head against her chest, rocking shamelessly in his lap. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Her breath caught in her throat as he groaned and slid her onto her back on the couch. He fit himself between her thighs, impossibly big and ridiculously gentle at the same time.
“I didn’t know.” His words were pebbled with regret.
She shook her head. “I told you I just wanted to be friends. My fault.”
“Maybe you weren’t ready.” He kissed her jaw, then opened his mouth and sucked gently on her neck. How did he know all these spots on her body? She hadn’t known that spot had a direct line to her clit, but apparently it did.
“I’m ready now.” Ready, wet, aching. He rocked against her and she lifted her hips, wanting more. She wanted everything, but that would need to wait a bit. And this was delicious too, fooling around on her couch.
“Can you come like this?” He was so earnest. She wanted to give him a gold star. She nodded. “Because I want that, angel. You’re so pretty, with your lips all swollen and wet from kissing. And if you keep looking at me like that, I might just come, too.”
Oh God. “Wouldn’t that be messy?” she whispered, and he laughed. Not chuckled, not a little rumble, but a full-on belly laugh. “What?”
“Isn’t it all messy?” He licked up her neck and nipped at her ear, and with his lips right there, he took a breath and undid her from the inside out. “I’ve never done this, either. Never trusted a woman to understand my limits. But I trust you. And I want you. I want to grind against you until you see fireworks and then I want to have a little explosion of my own. Between your legs. Because I trust you.”
Cassie took a slow inhale and let out a soft moan as she slid her hands across his broad shoulders and down his sculpted sides. She tucked her fingers under the waistband of his jeans, loving the flex of his ass against her palms as she held him close. Staring up at him, nothing between them now but breath and desire, she ground herself against him. With each quiet, ragged exhale she floated higher and higher towards bliss. Something deep in her belly clenched as Jared stroked his hand up and down her side, whispering over and over ag
ain how beautiful she was.
When she came, she did see fireworks, and before the white spots disappeared from her eyes, Jared came too. He froze over her, then slid down her torso, pressing his face into her chest. “You were right,” he mumbled into her boob. “That was messy.”
She laughed. “Do you want to take a shower?”
He nodded. “But at my place.” She ran her hands through his hair, trying to figure out what to say next. If he went back to his apartment she was okay with it, of course. He didn’t have any clothes at her place, and he would need to step outside to get back into his apartment. Better to do that in his jeans than a towel. But she could have gone over and got him—
“Hey, I’m coming back,” he said softly.
Right. Of course he was. Cold relief swept over her, and she hated that she’d doubted that the half-naked man between her legs wanted to return to her. Didn’t that speak volumes about her sad history with men?
“Good,” she whispered.
He gingerly climbed off the couch, then offered her his hand. When she was standing, he pulled her in for a hug. “I figure if I go and then come back, whatever we do next will be the second date.”
Chapter Six
Jared felt Cassie smile into his chest. God, she was cute. Gorgeous on the outside, and so fucking fragile and sweet on the inside. It was hard to feel self-conscious around her, even with sticky boxers. She blinked up at him. “What are you thinking for this second date?”
“Dinner, definitely. We worked up an appetite.” Jared glanced down at the bowl of barely touched popcorn. “Although another movie would be fun.”
She slapped his chest lightly. “We should probably leave the apartment.”
He nodded. “I have an idea, but I need to make a couple calls first before I tell you what it is. I don’t want to promise something I can’t deliver.”
“Oooh, a mystery!” She gently shoved him backwards, her palms lingering on his abs, and he couldn’t resist flexing for her. “Or we could just stay here and I could touch your muscles all night.”
He snagged her hands in his and kissed her knuckles. “I think we’re going to spend a good part of the holiday break doing that. Tonight we’re going out and I’m making up for Saturday night.”
She glanced back at the couch, her lips curling into a private smile. “You’ve already done that in spades.”
It was hard to leave a topless Cassie to shower alone, but it had to be done. He walked backwards to the door, pulling on his own shirt before stepping outside. The sun had set, reminding him if he was going to pull off a miracle he had to get a move on. He dialed Dombrowski as he let himself into his apartment.
“What are the chances you’re still on speaking terms with that cute event coordinator from The Del?”
His friend chuckled in his ear. “Emma? I just saw her on the weekend. She was pretty happy when I left her place Sunday morning. Late on Sunday morning.”
“Could I ask for a massive favor? Is there any way she could get me a pair of skating tickets for tonight?”
Dumbrowski whistled. “I’ll ask. This for your pretty neighbor?”
“Yep. She’s worth whatever it costs me, man.”
“I’ve been dinged to go to that sensitivity training thing next month. You’ll volunteer instead.”
Even though no one ever wanted to sit through that nonsense, the offer was a gift. Jared took it. “Thanks. I’m hopping in the shower, text me if it’s a go.”
He dumped his clothes in the laundry basket in his room and walked naked to the bathroom. If he couldn’t get the tickets, they could still go to the beach and have a fire. He could make a thermos of hot chocolate—Cassie’s favorite hot beverage—and bring a blanket.
And then he’d tell her why he’d held off on having sex for so long.
Before they did anything else.
Definitely before they spent any more time alone in her apartment. Or his.
And at some point in the next few hours, he needed to buy condoms.
He thought about what she’d said about her infertility. That sucked donkey balls for her. Cassie would be a great mom, if—no, when—she wanted to be. She’d dodged a bullet, as she’d said, and she’d find someone else to have a family with. She deserved someone who’d support her in her journey—medical, or adoption, whatever path she wanted to take. And she would find someone. She’d buy a house in the spring and meet someone—not like Mr. Starbucks, someone more her speed, like a carpenter or a firefighter. A nice guy who’d love her inside and out, and want to give her the moon.
Jared knew just how easy it was for a guy to want that for Cassie. Fuck. He slapped his palm against the wall and tipped his head back, letting the steamy water slide down his torso. He wasn’t going to be able to let her go. He didn’t even have her yet, and the thought of saying goodbye had him twisted up in knots.
But that’s what SEALs did. They said goodbye, over and over again.
And it was way too early in their not-even-a-relationship to ask her to understand that she’d only ever have half of him. The other half belonged to Uncle Sam.
There was a big part of him that wanted to pretend it didn’t matter. SEALs dated. They had casual hook-ups and serious relationships. Got married. Got divorced, at a dizzying rate. None of it should matter just yet. Second dates should be about chemistry and conversation. No need to put the cart before the horse.
He still found himself bounding ahead in his thoughts. His next extended tour overseas would probably start at the end of May, right as Cassie would be getting settled in her new place. They’d have until the summer. And then when he got back, she’d be on the other side of town. He ignored the hot, burning bubble rising in his chest. No, it was a good thing that she’d be out of sight when she moved on.
Because she would move on.
He wasn’t going to be enough for her, not in the long run.
And if he was truly a good guy, he’d walk away right now. But he was selfish enough that he couldn’t do that.
He finished washing up, checked his phone, gave Cassie instructions to dress warmly, and made a quick dash to the drug store for condoms.
Jeans, long-sleeve tee, belted sweater. See-through black lace panties and a matching bra. A teensy dab of perfume in all the right places. Dangly earrings? Sparkly? Cassie bounced in front of her dresser and tried to tell herself to chill out. She didn’t listen.
Condoms. She had an unopened box somewhere from the tail end of her brief fling with Craig the dentist. She found it and stashed it in the top drawer of her bedside table. Then she jerked the drawer open, ripped off the box’s plastic wrapping, and shoved a strip in her purse. Just in case.
When Jared knocked, she practically tripped over her toes sprinting to the door. He was dressed in cargo pants and a thick, black, unbuttoned henley stretched tight over a black t-shirt. He held a thermos. “Ready?”
“Absolutely.”
As soon as he parked at the Hotel Del Coronado, Cassie guessed what their mystery activity was. “Skating?”
He nodded and grinned, his dimples deep and proud in his handsome face. “Miles knows someone who works here and made a miracle happen for me.”
She clapped her hands together. She’d been once before, the year it opened. She’d wanted to return ever since, but hadn’t been able to convince Mitch it was fun. “Let’s go through the old lobby and look at the tree, too!”
“Whatever you want.” Jared laughed as she grabbed his hand and practically dragged him into the historic hotel.
“You look like you know what you’re doing there,” he said a few minutes later as she carefully laced up her rental skates.
“I took lessons when I was little, but all that I’ve retained is the ability to glide with style.”
“You’ve got me beat, then.”
But even though Jared insisted he’d only been skating once as a child, he quickly caught on. Before long he was confidently weaving around slower skaters and st
aying close to her side. On the longer stretches, he reached out and took her hand. Around and around they went to the soundtrack of Christmas music. Cassie couldn’t remember ever feeling quite so much in the holiday spirit. And the way Jared kept looking at her thrilled her down to her toes. December 23rd was going down in her personal history books as the best day of the year.
When two skaters collided in their path, spilling harmlessly to the ice, he snagged her hand and tugged her to the side of the rink.
“Kiss break.” He glided his lips over her fingertips, then pulled her closer, looping her arms around his neck. She tightened her grip, fully supportive of this plan. In the near distance, waves crashed on the beach.
“This is pretty amazing,” she whispered.
“You deserve amazing.” He pressed his mouth against hers, and she parted her lips just enough to have a tiny taste before they pulled apart. “You also deserve dinner.”
Right on cue, her tummy growled. But she wasn’t ready to leave yet. She laced her fingers through his and tugged. “One more lap.”
He’d thought about taking her to the hotel restaurant for dinner, but a fancy meal didn’t seem to go with skating. Instead he headed into San Diego to a Japanese izakaya he’d been to a few times. It was quiet and the booths were private.
They dove for their menus right away, and even in the simple act of ordering he found her fascinating. Cassie was shocked that he’d never had edamame. She insisted they order a bowl to share, and described the act of eating the salted soybeans in such detail that he found his mouth watering before they even arrived. Of course, they ended up being exactly what he thought they would be—fine but nothing to write home about.
Cassie was momentarily crushed, but bounced right back when the house salads arrived and the ginger dressing was “totally perfect.”
“You’re such a California girl, aren’t you?”
She fluttered her eyelashes and tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Born and bred.”
