When something sounded too good to be true, it usually was, but I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the landlord or the building. I’d already been warned the entire place would be under renovations, which was a major downside, but I could live in a hotel for three weeks. “That sounds great. Do you have pictures of what the apartment should look like when it’s finished?”
“I have something better. I’ll take you to one of the apartments that has been renovated. The tenant is moving in this week, so it’s currently empty, although I did get their permission to take you into it so you can see what yours will roughly look like after renovations. Their apartment is smaller than yours and doesn’t have a fireplace, but you’ll get a feel for it at least.”
“Mine has a fireplace?”
“It will when the renovations are done. The unit already has chimney access, but I hadn’t installed the fireplace before the previous tenant had moved in. That’s why it will be three weeks for the renovation. The fireplace needs to be inspected and verified before I can allow you to move in. The fireplace itself is already in place, so you can see where it will be and how much space it will take up, but there’s renovation debris still inside.”
I could definitely wait three weeks for an apartment with a fireplace, and I would feel a great deal better about paying the rent with a cozy fire I could sit in front of every night while reading a book. A dog warming my feet would make things even better. Rick’s dog warming my feet would be perfection.
As I couldn’t help myself and he kept doing nice things for me, Rick warming me would be beyond perfection.
Damn it, I needed to get over him and quit giving myself the run around on an impossibility. Rick was my brother’s friend, he was getting married to someone, and I had no business liking someone I couldn’t have. I could be friends with him and nothing more.
I’d need to read a lot of books in front of a cozy fireplace to get over him.
“That sounds great.” I took another sip of my wine. “I think I am properly fortified with alcohol to see some renovation debris.”
“Then please follow me.”
I found it amusing Jacob took the bottle, as though believing I’d really need some more alcohol to handle a little dust and debris.
I needed more alcohol to deal with the apartment, but not because there was dust or debris, but because it was larger than I expected, had a view I might kill for, and there was a balcony overlooking the city with little in the way of obstructions. Manhattan twinkled, and while there were a ridiculous number of cars on the road, we were up high enough the sounds of the city soothed more than it annoyed. From my understanding of the building’s layout, the condominiums were on the next floor up, and I could easily understand why someone would pay more than six thousand for the place.
The apartment ventured into the surreal category. The fireplace was fashioned of stacked stone to give it a rustic feel, the hardwood floors throughout would warm nicely beneath the feet, aided by a subfloor heating system, and the marble bathroom featured a jet tub I could lose many an hour in.
My e-reader was waterproof. When I wasn’t warming myself beside the fire, I could soak my cares away. Who needed a pool table when I could have a jet tub?
“Margaret, what’s the average rent in Manhattan?”
“$4,200, give or take a few hundred.”
All right. While two thousand over the average, I could see the apartment costing so much. “You could move me in tomorrow and I wouldn’t have a complaint about the renovation work.” I pointed at the tub, which would comfortably fit two. “I can live in the tub for three weeks without any complaints, and take-out exists.”
Jacob laughed and topped my glass of wine. “I hear that a lot for some reason. It’s amazing what a little extra investment into an apartment does for a tenant’s willingness to pay extra rent. Your extra two thousand a month gets you good mileage. Since you’re an accountant, you’ll get this. My profit margin isn’t nearly as high as you might think even with charging this much. On average, I’ll spend four thousand a month of your rent on the extras, and then I use a hefty chunk of that into future investments, so I don’t pocket much as profit. Make no mistake, I make money—and I make decent money—but it’s a snowball rather than a waterfall. A slow, gradual build of profit is more my speed than gouging my tenants. It’s not perfect, but I try to make sure you have a comfortable, safe home.” Jacob set the bottle of wine on the tub’s ledge and pulled out a folded sheet of paper from his jacket’s pocket. “The lease period is for one year, and for your first year, I will waive your pet deposit and pet rent. It’s usually a hundred a month per pet, as accidents happen and flooring often needs to be replaced. The pet rent and deposit cover the so-called security deposit most landlords charge.”
“You don’t charge a security deposit?”
“I don’t charge a security deposit. I also don’t charge first and last. Your first month’s rent will be due when you move in, and your rent will be due on the first of every month. If you have something barring you from paying rent on the first, contact the leasing office. Arrangements can be made, especially in case of an emergency. Rather than charge you a security deposit, my pet rent is higher. The pet deposit is poorly named, as it’s not really a deposit. You won’t get the money back. The deposit covers emergency pet care, rounding animals up if there’s a fire, and boarding them in case something happens with the building. If your pets can’t be in the unit while there are renovations or during an emergency, your deposit covers that as well. We audit every year, and if the deposit wasn’t used in full with a quantifiable service, you’re refunded the difference. There’s also the optional daily services we offer that are outside of the rent.”
“What types of emergencies do you count for late rent payments?”
“Medical emergencies, a death in the family, or the paycheck just happens to hit on Friday and rent is due on Thursday. I do not like charging my tenants late fees on rent, and I’ve lived paycheck-to-paycheck often enough to understand that life isn’t kind to most. If you give us your payment schedule, we can make notations on the months this happens to you. We’ll send an automatic notification we’re aware your paycheck happens immediately after rent is due and do an automatic extension of three to five days depending on your bank and their payment processing. In the case of the first being on a weekend, we automatically check payments on the Monday, as some banks don’t process over weekends.”
“Okay, what’s wrong with you or this apartment?”
Jacob laughed. “I view myself as living perfection, so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me or my buildings. In reality, expect maintenance to take up to two days to handle non-critical problems, although if you spring a leak, you can expect someone within ten minutes. But because of that, the little things might sit for a while. The fixtures are also a pain in the ass and require maintenance to replace, but as I’m already scalping you for six thousand a month, I don’t charge for the lightbulbs.”
“Small miracles,” I muttered.
“Do you want to see the finished apartment before you decide?”
“I do, but only because I’m curious. If the bathroom is any indication, I can’t imagine there being a dealbreaker for me here unless the utility bill is lethal.”
Paying so much in month a rent would suck, but I’d given my maximum as a soft maximum, and the apartment was below my threshold. In reality, I could afford up to seven thousand a month all in.
“Utilities are included, as I’m a lazy bastard who hates dealing with the utility companies more than necessary. You’re on your own for the internet, but that’s it.”
Yep, the apartment fit my budget even with the pet rent included. “What’s the yearly pet deposit?”
“Five hundred per pet.”
Ouch. That wasn’t far from the norm, and that he refunded what wasn’t used made a difference in my willingness to deal with the fee. “Breed restrictions?”
“In y
our apartment, there are no restrictions, but we ask that you pick your pet wisely. An energetic dog needs a lot of care and space. The roof park does offer the space, and we have some agility equipment for training and play, but you should pick a breed that fits your lifestyle and their needs. I don’t ban by breed, but I will require a tenant to remove any aggressive animals from the property. I scrutinize the owners more than I scrutinize the breed. If you want something like a pit bull, talk to me about it. I know some reputable breeders who take care with preliminary training, and I know some rescues that have good animals.”
“I was thinking big, white, and fluffy with a love of other dogs and people,” I admitted. “My friend has a dog like that, and I want to steal her. I figure I just need to get one of my own. I haven’t even met her in person, but she’s so pretty, and she obviously loves her owner.”
“I will ask that you don’t steal your friend’s dog, but if big, white, and fluffy is what you’re looking for, that is friendly with people and animals, may I recommend a Great Pyrenees? You’ll need to train the dog, as they take large to extremes, but they’re a good breed, and you won’t get much bigger or fluffier than that, although many have other colors, too. There’s also the Samoyed, but those are very energetic. What are you looking for in an animal?”
“A lot of love, cuddles, and an enjoyment of reading books with me near the fire.”
“Try the Great Pyrenees first, although I’d definitely recommend looking into the Samoyed. Either dog will be a loving member of your family. Just know both are a lot of work.”
“Anything worth having is a lot of work,” I replied.
“Keep thinking that way, Hope, and you’ll go far. Now, let me show you the other apartment. It’s smaller than yours and on one of the lower floors, but I think you’re going to like what you see—and it’ll help you think about something other than the renovation materials taking over the place.” Jacob retrieved the bottle of wine and lifted his glass in a salute. “You won’t regret picking this apartment, and I trust Margaret to show you why when she takes you to the rest of her stops tonight.”
After the floor had attempted to eat me at the other unit, I had no doubts I’d find everything else on Margaret’s list would come a distant second, but a wise woman took the time to look at the other offerings first, even when the final choice seemed obvious.
Twelve
Apparently, I’m adopting a dog and a kitten today.
A wiser woman would’ve waited to sign the lease until seeing the other offerings, but after my impulse purchase of a car and meeting my new bathtub and fireplace, I’d abandoned any wisdom I’d accumulated over the years. Add in the short hike to work and a secure garage to keep my Mercedes, and I couldn’t see many downsides to my situation beyond a deep-set need to never lose my job.
My savings would only last so long if I joined the ranks of the unemployed.
After sharing the bottle of wine with Jacob, neither Margaret nor I could drive, and Luke played chauffeur, making certain we made it to the other viewings scheduled in for the night. While the places had middle of the road pricing, they reminded me more of the nightmare apartment than the luxury Jacob offered.
Sure, I would pay a ridiculous amount per month for it, but I deserved a little luxury and better than settling for the absolute minimum.
The next morning, rocking a hangover I wouldn’t forget, I took a cab to work so I wouldn’t crash my car into something or puke on the sidewalk trying to walk. Garret intercepted me on the way to my office, and he came armed with a tiny white puffball of a kitten and a monster of a white dog with a charming black splotch over its left eye.
I’d seen a dog just like it before: Annabel Lee.
“What breed?”
“The kitten is a ragdoll, and the puppy is a Great Pyrenees. Your new landlord gave me a call last night, warned me you’d be coming in possibly still drunk, apologized for giving you so much wine, and shared a video of you crushing Margie at pool. He really, really wanted me to ask my sister about pets for you, but the shelter only had one big, white, fluffy dog, and that’s this old, tired man. They were found together abandoned, and the old man here doesn’t like when anyone takes his kitten away. So, they’re a matched set. I stole them from the shelter this morning, and you get to pet sit today to see if you like them.”
Well, I now had an old dog and a kitten, as I abhorred when people dumped animals because they were old and tired. “Apparently, I’m adopting a dog and a kitten today.”
“I have been asked to tell you that if you don’t take them, Jacob will. He’s a sucker for old animals who won’t get a chance at a good life. But that’s where the bad news comes into play.”
Uh oh. “What’s the bad news?”
“His food bill is terrifying.”
I regarded the dog with a raised brow. “There’s a lot of dog there, so I expect so. How old is he?”
“He’s nine. His breed usually lives to be ten to twelve. He’s in good health for his age, but he isn’t a puppy anymore.”
Poor old man. “Does he have a name?”
“He wasn’t collared or microchipped, but he was well-socialized with humans and knows a lot of commands and tricks. The shelter tried to locate his owners and ask if anyone had lost a big dog, but no one claimed him. He’s been in the shelter for three months.”
“How old was the poor kitten?”
“Too young to have been separated from her mother, but they had a foster mother at the shelter who was willing to nurse her. Apparently, he whined the entire first few weeks the kitten was with the foster cat, and he settled down when they were reunited.”
Ugh. My boss had my heartstrings in a firm grip, and the more he talked, the tighter his hold got. “Did they name the kitten?”
“Neither have names.”
My office would be a little crowded with a big, fluffy dog, but he checked off every one of my boxes, and I couldn’t ignore his sad eyes—or the little kitten mouthing at my boss’s knuckles. “I’m hungover, and I apparently need to buy pet supplies and beg the hotel to let me have two pets.”
“I’ll handle getting the basics for you and tell Jacob you’ll be bringing home the old man and his kitten.”
“You don’t have to do that. They’re going to be my responsibility.”
“Consider it an employee perk. If you’re worried about making sure your new rescues are taken care of, you won’t be able to concentrate. Then again, with a hangover, you’re going to have a tough time concentrating. Honestly, I should have known you’d have trouble today. Margie was involved with your viewings. However, I can’t help but notice you’re limping. What happened?”
“The floor of the first apartment we looked at attacked me. Someone had put the bathroom in the kitchen, the bathroom had sprung a leak, I guess, and the floor had rotted. I stepped in the wrong spot and sprained my ankle. It’ll probably be all right, but I’ll be limping for a few days.”
“I’m sorry, but did you say there was a bathroom in the kitchen?”
“I did.” As I still couldn’t believe it myself, I showed him the pictures of the monstrosity of an apartment.
“That’s horrible.”
“It really is. They wanted to charge me an arm and a leg for it, too.”
“From the looks of it, they almost got your leg before you even decided if you’d sign a lease.”
“No kidding.” The old dog seemed happy enough to follow Garret around, and someone had added a furry rug onto the floor, which the animal flopped on. Garret placed the kitten on the fluffy dog’s back, and she settled in for a nap. “Her litter box is in my office, but I’ll bring it in along with their water dishes and food bowls. My sister gave me a list of good vets in the area so you can have them examined if you want, and I got their registration forms so you can get them licensed.”
Well, caring for a cat and a dog would keep me busy. I pointed at the old man and said, “His name is Edgar Allan Paw.”
M
y boss stared at me with his mouth hanging open.
“Did you just turn your dog’s name into a pun?”
“My friend’s big, white, and fluffy dog is named Annabel Lee.” I pointed at my new kitten. “Her name is Lenore.”
Garret groaned. “That’s terrible yet somehow wonderful.”
“They are both loved masterpieces, which is exactly what they deserve.”
“Just don’t buy a bird.”
As I was hungover and needed to spread the misery around a little, I replied, “Come on, Garret. Raven would be a great name for something like a parakeet.”
“I am putting a sign on your door that warns people that you will weaponize words in punny fashions.”
I needed to write that one down and send Rick a text notifying him of this truth around the same time I introduced him to Edgar Allan Paw and Lenore. “Make it a nice sign, please. You may as well add a little whiteboard to it so people can record when I last landed a successful word weaponization.”
“That sounds like a plan. Swing by my office if you have any problems, drink a lot of water, and make sure you take time for lunch.”
Apparently, I had a hover boss, which was a pleasant change compared to managers who didn’t give a damn. “Is water a euphemism for coffee?”
“Today it can be, but tomorrow it’s not.”
That would do. “As my new co-workers are already slacking on the job, I’ll get to work and try not to fawn over them too much during the day.”
“Fawn over them as much as you want. They could use a little extra love.”
Some orders were easier to obey than others, and rather than start tackling my workload, I sat on the floor and introduced myself to my new pets. The animals didn’t seem to mind me, and I even got Edgar Allan Paw to lick my hand after a few minutes. Lenore ignored me, burrowing in her buddy’s fur to take a nap.
The Run Around Page 16
