by Mary Martel
I sucked in a sharp breath and decided to say to hell with it. When it came to my own damn daughter I would allow my emotions to show and not be ashamed of them. She was worth it, she was worth everything. I knew what they were hinting at without coming out directly and saying it because they feared my reaction and I couldn't say I blamed them.
Vivian, my sister by blood and, at one point in time, choice, had marked my daughter's face so bad that people had said things to her when she'd gotten to school.
If she wasn't already dead, I would have killed her myself for that alone.
"He was obsessed with her," Julian said, picking up the story where his friend had left off. "Part of it was because Quint had fucked with him, and the whole love spell bit, but that's an entirely different story."
Part of my rage left me as my eyebrows rose high on my forehead. Quinton didn't seem like the type to know anything about love spells; I didn't see him as the type who would need one. He seemed like the dark, broody type that broken girls who held a need deep inside them to either fix someone, or please them, would seek out. Not the other way around.
"Forget the love spell," Damien said in an irritated voice.
I wasn't sure if I should have been amused or alarmed by the number of things they were telling me to ignore or forget about in this story, but figured amused was out, because the story ended in my girl's face getting scarred.
"Get to the point," I ground out, sounding a whole lot more irritated than even Damien did.
They both flinched, and Julian said, "Fine," before gesturing with his hand for Damien to continue the story.
I hoped he'd be quick about it, but figured at this rate, it'd be tomorrow afternoon before these jackals got to the meat of the story.
"Fine," Damien spat out angrily. "Chucky, and yeah, that's his name," he said as he gave me a dirty look. "Followed Ariel here one night and then knew she'd stayed the night. We aren't sure if he stayed out there all night or came back the next day, but, either way, he showed up here on the front stoop bright and early the next morning. Dash answered the door, argued with him, and was stabbed multiple times in the stomach when he refused to let Chucky passed him to get into the house and to Ariel. Ariel saw it all go down, and couldn't stop herself from trying to save Dash. She ran outside, and he cut her face up pretty bad. She had her face stitched up in the hospital while Dash was in surgery, and Julian healed it as much as he could afterwards, so now it's a lot lighter than it would have been. I imagine Dash's scars are still dark and angry, but he won't let anyone near them, stubborn bastard that he is."
I rocked back on my feet and couldn't stop my hand from raising and pressing itself against my chest, over my heart that was beating far too fast to be normal. The inside of my mouth was dry, and I had to swallow convulsively to not throw up my last meal all over my beautiful daughter's dark rug.
The water cut off in the next room over and I knew I was out of time to gather more information out of these two. I was almost grateful for it to have come to an end because I honestly didn't think I could stomach any more knowledge of just how horrible my girl’s life had been. It made me sick to my stomach to listen to them talk about it, and I knew they didn't feel much better simply relaying the information to me. They cared greatly for Ariel, and it made me feel just a smidge better about her situation. All of them here seemed to care a great deal about her.
"Did she take clothes into the bathroom with her, do you know?" Damien spoke quietly so as not to be overheard by the girl in the bathroom.
"No clue," I said honestly.
"Maybe we shouldn't be here when she gets out of the bathroom then," he suggested, "just to be safe. I don't want to make her uncomfortable, and walking into her room in only a towel, with the three of us standing around here in her personal space would likely make her so."
He had a point, but I found myself reluctant to leave this space, her space. I hadn't even really gotten to take in the room in its entirety yet, or scope out her bookshelf, or peek into her closet. Not to snoop, but to get a feel for her personality and her likes and dislikes. I wanted to get to know my daughter. I wanted to know everything there was to know about her, and, yes, even the bad stuff, too.
As one, we turned to face the doorway when slight footsteps sounded in the hallway.
Ariel hesitated in the open doorway, and I was relieved to see she wasn't wrapped up in a towel but instead had clothes on. They looked like comfortable pajamas to wear to lounge in. Light yellow pants with a drawstring in front that must have been long on her because she had them rolled up to just above the ankles. Her tank top was black with a graphic of The Little Mermaid on the front.
I had to turn my head away from the sight of her standing there in the fucking tank top and close my eyes so I wouldn't break down and cry. My teeth clenched painful and a muscle in my jaw ticked.
I would not fucking cry, god damn it.
"Rain," she said in that sweet voice of hers, and that fucking cut me to the quick, too. Rain, not dad. Not father. But simply Rain. I hated it. "Are you okay?"
No, it was safe to say that I was anything but okay.
I wanted to lash out and hurt someone, break something, anything to take away the hurt that I was feeling.
"Yeah," I ground out.
Only an idiot would have believed me, and I did not think my daughter an idiot.
I was correct in my assessment of her.
Her small, warm hand tentatively touched my much larger one. She didn't take hold of it like I had expected her to the moment I felt her gentle touch on my skin. Instead she simply pressed her slender fingers against mine. It was enough to let me know she cared, and told me just how damn brave she was. It took real guts to allow yourself to be vulnerable around another person, and even more to put yourself out there when you were scared of rejection. I hadn't missed the light sheen of tears in her eyes when she'd first seen me, or the way she had said my name since, like her heart was just waiting for me to break it, and she was scared shitless I was going to hurt her. But she kept trying anyways, kept being sweet to me anyways, kept right on putting herself out there. She acted almost as if she expected me to hurt her or reject her in some way, and, after hearing just a small portion of what she'd been through since being taken from her mother and I, I couldn't blame her one bit for feeling that way.
She was the bravest person, the sweetest person, and I couldn't have been prouder of the young woman she'd turned out to be.
I wanted to hug her, but was too afraid of scaring her. We weren't quite on that level yet, and I didn't know how she'd take it.
One step at a time.
Eventually, we'd get up to hugging. I hoped like hell we'd get up to hugging. If she couldn't handle it, though, I would accept that, and she'd never know I would probably be dying a slow death on the inside because of it. If I could help it, she'd never hurt again.
"Rain?" she said my name, and I heard the question in her voice.
I inhaled sharply before telling her the truth about why I'd gotten weird, and why I was having a hard time looking at her. With Ariel, I would always give her nothing but the truth. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, because my closet was stuffed so full of skeletons that the fuckers had blown the door right off the hinges and come bursting out years ago. I wasn't ashamed to admit that I'd done some horrible things in my life, and I could never call myself a saint, but I had crossed a line a long time ago that should have never been crossed. I hadn't regretted it at the time, and I still didn't to this day, but I didn't think a girl with Ariel's sweet disposition would understand the things I had done or the why of it all. The why having mostly been in hopes of finding her. I never wanted to burden her with the admission of those things, but I also didn't want to lie to her, ever. It would be something I would need to reconsider at a different time.
For now, however, she deserved the truth from me, and she deserved for me to deliver it without acting like a fucking coward.
<
br /> I looked her dead in the eyes and gave her what she deserved, the truth. "The Little Mermaid used to be your favorite movie." I swallowed thickly and forced myself to hold her gaze. "Do you remember watching it with your mother and I, or your grandfather?"
She shook her head sadly and said, "I don't remember anything from before my time with Vivian."
I nodded and finally had to look away from her.
A lone tear escaped to trail hotly down my cheek. I loved her even more in that moment because she let me have that one tear and said nothing about it, didn't try to make it better, didn't give me bullshit words about how it would all be alright. She just left her fingers pressed close to mine and waited in silence for me to get my shit together.
My daughter was a beautiful soul.
The most beautiful soul in the known universe, and I’d be damned if anything ever came between the two of us again.
I would kill anything and anyone who tried to take her away from me again. I would slaughter them without mercy or regret, because that’s what you did when you loved someone as much as I loved her. I had already bore the loss of her for years, and it had marked me beyond reason.
I silently vowed to never lose her again, no matter the cost.
Chapter Fourteen
"Can you stay?" I asked Rain quietly, hesitantly. He was staring down at the floor, and we were both trying hard to pretend he hadn't let a tear slip passed what I was calling in my head his iron control. I tried to bury the hope I felt at the thought of him staying here with me, but I might not have pulled it off as well as I had wished to. “You can sleep on the couch.” I turned to Julian and Damien who stood in front of the dresser, silently watching the exchange between Rain and myself, both were wearing looks of concern on their faces. I ignored that, and said, “Right, guys? Dash won’t care if he sleeps here?”
Actually, I knew there was really good chance Dash would care a whole lot about having Rain sleep over on his couch, but I figured he’d okay it anyways to make me happy, and to keep a better eye on Rain. As for me? Well, I was worried that if he didn’t stay here, then he’d disappear on me and I would never be able to find him again, and I’d just met him; I didn’t want to lose him now.
"Actually-" Rain began.
I cut him off because anything but yes wouldn't work for me.
"Please," I said in a high, desperate voice. Rain looked at me then, finally looking away from his silent contemplation of my rug. His mouth pinched in a tight, angry line, and I worried I might have taken it too far with the pleading, but it was a little too late to take it back. The tear I'd watched trail down his cheek had disappeared, and there was no longer any evidence that it had existed in the first place. If he'd lifted his hand to wipe away the wetness I had missed it.
Rain nodded sharply and said, "Alright, baby girl. I will stay here tonight with you. But tomorrow I must leave to check on a few things. I will be back for you though, never doubt that. I will always come back for you, and I will never be away from you for long."
My heart swelled at his words, they were exactly what I wanted to hear from him, except, of course, him saying that he'd be leaving tomorrow for a small period of time, that I hadn't wanted to hear at all. I feared tomorrow would still be too soon for me to let him out of my sight for any amount of time. I didn't trust him yet, or that he'd not return to me.
Curious, and unable to stop myself, I asked what I thought was an important question, "Where are you staying?"
I hoped he didn't say at a motel because it would remind me too much of where the Council was staying, and I didn't think that would be a good omen.
Rain hesitated like he didn't want to answer my question. I couldn't blame him, it was nosy and invasive, but I wouldn't apologize, and I wouldn't take the question back. I wanted answers.
"At a small cabin that I've rented," he said carefully. Rain shifted uncomfortably on his feet and hid his hands behind his back. "There's something time sensitive waiting back there for me so I'll need to be getting back in the morning."
"Do you have a pet?" I asked, hoping he said yes. He looked like he'd be right at home with a Rottweiler. Rottweiler’s were cute.
"Something like that," he said darkly and in a cold voice that caused chills to race down my spine. "But I don't plan on keeping him."
Oddly enough, I didn't think he was talking about an animal.
"What kind of-"
"Ariel," Julian called out. "Leave it be."
I looked between him and Damien, and wasn't at all surprised to see the two of them had grown alert and were eyeing Rain like they wanted to throttle him. I imagined they liked being out of the know even less than I did because they weren't used to being on this side. I was used to it, but I wasn't interested in putting up with it anymore.
Julian looked me in the eye and shook his head sharply. "Leave it be," he repeated firmly. "Some things are better left not knowing."
I opened my mouth to argue with him but snapped it shut. He was right. Some things were better left in the unknown; even I could admit that not everything was worth learning.
"Fine," I pouted. "Keep your secrets, all of you. What do I care?"
They all knew I lied.
I didn't care a whit about that.
"I'll go tell Dash you're staying over," I told them as I turned around and headed towards the stairs. "We'll make up the couch for you."
"Ariel," Rain called out before my foot touched down on that first stair. I stopped and gripped the handrail.
"Yes?" I asked hesitantly without turning around to face him. I didn't know why, but I was really bothered about that pet remark and felt he was keeping some large secret from me. I was surprised to feel that way because I had just met the man, and I shouldn't have been able to pick up on those sorts of things from him. Perhaps it was because I had read those letters and it made me feel like I knew him.
I needed to be careful with my damn emotions and guard myself better than this.
"I'm not sleeping on the couch," he told me.
That had me turning my head, seeking his face out. He looked far too serious for my liking.
"Then where will you sleep?" I asked. "I'm sorry, Rain, I really am, but it's just my bedroom and Dash's bedroom. The only place we have here for you to sleep is the couch. I guess if you really are uncomfortable sleeping down there, then I will have to be okay with you going back to the cabin where you're staying, and will impatiently await your return tomorrow. I'm seriously sorry, I should have thought more about your comfort than my needs, Rain, really."
I was an a-hole and I didn't like feeling like one. My feelings and needs weren't the only ones that mattered. I had gotten caught up in my own emotions and my need to be loved, and I'd forgotten that Rain was an actual person himself and wasn't just here to cater to me.
Rain shook his head and the corner of his mouth lifted in a tiny smirk. "No," he said. "I'm not leaving tonight, you've talked me into staying. And, honestly, you didn't have to try all that hard because I wanted to stay anyways. I'm not sleeping on the couch because I'm going to sleep on the floor in your room. All I need is a sleeping bag, if you've got one, and a pillow. If you don't have them, then I will take a blanket and be good with it."
Something heavy in my chest loosened at hearing his words, and I hadn't even noticed it's weight before it left me.
He wasn't leaving me, he was staying.
And he planned on sleeping on the floor in my bedroom.
I could so easily love him.
"I have pillows and blankets," I told him quietly.
I watched in fascination as he smiled softly at me.
He had a great smile, a beautiful smile.
He had my smile.
Because he was my flesh and blood.
***
No one protested Rain's impromptu sleepover. In fact, some of them even seemed to encourage it. They didn't trust that he wouldn't disappear on us, either. I'd like to say it felt good to not be alone in my
thoughts, but it would be a lie when it came to that particular one. I wanted someone to hold my hand and tell me that this wasn't all a dream and that everything would all be alright.
I wanted someone to tell me that it was safe to blink, because, if I did, Rain wouldn't vanish into thin air.
If I had only asked out loud for someone to hold my hand I'm sure I would have had several volunteers. But I refused to give my thoughts a voice, because then they'd become more real, and I didn't want that. Not about the hand holding, I could always use a little bit of that from one of the guys.
Dash dug out two sleeping bags for Rain instead of just the one he'd originally asked for. Dash claimed he'd want the other one to put under the one he slept in, because the floor was really hard and uncomfortable, and any extra padding would be a must he'd be thankful for in the morning when his back wasn't aching like a crippled old man. Rain took both without a word of protest or thanks.
I took both from Rain claiming that if he was staying over and sleeping on my floor then the least I could do for him was make his bed. This he did protest, because he didn't want me to go through any trouble for him.
I just smiled at him sweetly as I ran off in the direction of the stairs with my arms full of both sleeping bags. If he wanted me to not go through the trouble for him, which was really no trouble at all, then he would have to wrestle the sleeping bags away from me.
No one followed me up the stairs, and for that I was grateful. I needed a moment to myself, my time in the shower hadn't been enough because I had rushed through it to get back to Rain. I had worried for him because I'd left him alone with the others to fend for himself, knowing some of them didn't seem to care for him all that much. And, I wasn't stupid, I knew why Julian and Damien had followed Rain up to my room. They did it because they didn't trust him and wanted to give him a hard time. I hadn't expected it out of those two, maybe a few of the other ones, though. Like, Quinton.... then again, they seemed like they were buddies, so maybe not. The twins sure enjoyed giving people a hard time. I knew Dash wouldn't do it, if he had something he wanted to say to Rain he'd do it in front of everyone and without hesitation. It was one of the many things I liked about him. But Julian and Damien? No, I hadn't expected that at all.
