Phillip didn’t know what to say; words couldn’t express what ran through his mind. He glanced at Charlotte. A lock of her hair swung in front of her face, and Phillip placed it behind her ear. He didn’t want to let her go. He didn’t want this night to end, but tomorrow would come soon enough, and with it the reality they were still in danger. Phillip wouldn’t think about what would happen at the end of their journey. For now, he would focus on the mission. If he let his feelings get in the way, it could be disastrous for them.
Phillip looked at Charlotte. “Are you feeling well? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No, Phillip, I’m fine. I trust you, remember?”
Trust, it seemed like such a simple thing. It was important to Phillip. He knew she trusted him with her safety, but he didn’t want to be trusted with her heart. Not wanting her to see his look of concern, he brought her against him, enfolding her in his arms. The exhaustion of their journey and their lovemaking caught up with them, and they fell asleep.
When Phillip awoke later, it was dark outside. He made his way to his bedchamber, got dressed, and went back to Charlotte’s room. As he sat next to her sleeping figure, it astonished him at what they had experienced together. He hated to wake her, but they hadn’t had a solid meal in days, and she needed her strength.
Phillip leaned over and kissed Charlotte’s lips. Her eyes opened, and their deep blue color, once again, struck him. Those eyes had been hazy with lust just a short time ago. The memory of their coupling made him adjust his groin.
Half asleep, Charlotte smiled and asked, “What time is it?”
“It’s around six. I wanted to make sure you ate dinner. I can have the servants bring something up unless you want to dine downstairs.”
Phillip knew what he wanted; he wanted days, if not weeks, in bed with Charlotte. He was sure even that would not be enough to satisfy his hunger. She had been passionate in his arms, and he wanted to experience it again and again.
“I’ll come down. It would be rude to our host not to.” Her words cut through Phillip’s thoughts. Charlotte continued, “I’ll ring for the maid. After you leave, of course.”
Phillip thought he noted a hint of sadness in her voice and wondered whether she was as loathe for him to leave as he was to do so. He bent down and kissed her again. This kiss was deeper, her taste as intoxicating as before. If he didn’t stop this madness, they wouldn’t leave the room all night.
Regrettably, Phillip pulled back and saw the disappointment in Charlotte’s eyes.
“Darling, if I don’t leave now, I may be here all night.” His words made her blush. “I will see you downstairs for dinner, and then you must get your rest. We have to leave early tomorrow morning.”
Chapter 10
Charlotte could have spent the rest of the evening reliving every moment of their interlude, but she needed to change. She put on her dressing robe and rang for the maid. The maid assisted her into an evening gown of deep burgundy with matching gloves. Charlotte thought the dress a bit much, but the maid assured her she looked lovely.
As Charlotte neared the drawing-room, she heard voices. Phillip and Louis were in a heated discussion. Normally, Charlotte wasn’t a proponent of eavesdropping, but, in this case, she made an exception. She listened at the door, but the men were far enough away that she couldn’t make out what they said. She decided it was best to go in.
The two men stopped their conversation when the door opened. Louis was the first to greet her. He kissed her hand with all the flourish of a French nobleman. Phillip frowned, and she wondered if he might be jealous. After all they had shared, he must know that he was the only man she wanted.
There was the crux of Charlotte’s problem. She had told Phillip she would never trust her heart to another man, but how quickly things had changed. Hadn’t Phillip said he would never give his heart away to another woman? What they shared was nothing more than sex between two consenting adults. She regretted nothing, but she would distance herself from Phillip until their time together ended. She didn’t want to feel more than she already did. If she thought of it in that respect, she hoped it would be easier to leave.
“How are you feeling, my dear, after your bath and rest?” Louis inquired.
Charlotte wondered if he guessed about her liason with Phillip. After all, the French were the inventors of all things romantic. Charlotte pushed the memory aside before it overtook her. “Everything has been wonderful. Thank you for the clothes, they are a much-needed treat.”
“What type of man would I be if I didn’t clothe my guests properly? And please, call me Louis, I insist. Come, you must be famished. From what you and Phillip have told me, you haven’t had a decent meal in some time.” He offered his arm and ushered her to the dining room.
Charlotte sat next to Louis, who was at the head of the table. Phillip sat across from her. The Frenchman was the perfect host and engaged her in conversation. Phillip seemed tense and sat quietly throughout most of the meal. When he spoke, it was with short, clipped responses. She wondered if the conversation he had had with Louis before she came in had affected him. Finally, the meal ended.
After dinner, Charlotte felt restless and went for a stroll through the house. Louis mentioned the first floor was at her disposal to explore as she liked. She found a small candelabra and made her way down the hall. The walk gave her time alone to set herself in order. Phillip said it would be at least two days until they made it to the house where the commander waited for her. Once they arrived, she would give him what information she had, and that would be the end. She will have fulfilled her promise to Nikoli.
It seemed years since Charlotte had seen Nikoli and her family. Hopefully her parents wouldn’t be too upset with her when she reunited with them. Although she had done foolish things in the past, but this was by far the worst, even if it was for a noble cause.
Charlotte wondered if she could go back to her boring life after this journey. Everyday life would seem anti-climactic. Phillip would most likely move on and not give her a second thought. He would be too busy with the war to think about her, but she would have all the time in the world to think about him. Unfortunately, Charlotte knew the cold shoulder of rejection too well, and she didn’t want to chance the hurt and humiliation of unrequited feelings. In her mind, it was better to love Phillip in silence.
It was ironic. She dared to look down the barrel of a pistol, but she was afraid to tell a man she loved him. She walked down the portrait gallery, observing the larger-than-life pictures. The collection seemed to span for decades. Were all these people related to Louis? The last picture she came upon seemed more modern. It was a portrait of a young woman wearing a pink day dress and a matching hat. She was seated on a bench in a garden. Her smile appeared strained, which intrigued Charlotte.
“She’s lovely, isn’t she?” Charlotte startled at Louis’ sudden words.
“She’s beautiful. A relative of yours?”
A cloud of sadness crossed Louis’ face. “My wife, actually.”
Charlotte assumed the lady was dead since she hadn’t met her.
“Michelle loved nature. The gardens were her favorite spot, which is why she wanted her portrait done outside. We were only wed for three years before she died.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Charlotte didn’t know what else to say. She had never felt the loss of someone so close to her.
Louis sighed, “Yes, well, my wife had several other attributes besides her beauty and love of nature. Stealing, cheating, and lying, to name a few. She was quite the thief in her day, even before she stole my heart.”
The frankness of Louis’ statement surprised her. The picture he painted of his dead wife didn’t match the beauty in pink sitting in the garden with sunlight kissing her cheeks. Her disbelief must have been clear.
Louis laughed, “Haven’t you ever heard the saying, looks can be deceiving? I was deceived, but in the end, Michelle and I both changed for the better. I loved her dearly, even with
her flaws. That’s the important thing, Miss Bradley. If we truly love someone, we can look past their flaws and see them for the person they are deep inside.”
Charlotte studied the portrait. “What if the other person won’t let you in?”
“If he is worth fighting for, you will find a way. Phillip is loyal to a fault, but the years have hardened him. He is wary of giving trust too easily since it hurt him in the past.”
Charlotte muttered, “Lisette.”
At the mention Lisette’s name, Louis gave Charlotte an incredulous stare. “Well, it seems Phillip trusts you more than most. Few people know about his ordeal with that vile woman.”
“You know what happened to Phillip?”
Louis sighed. “I was the one to discover his whereabouts. I was an agent in Paris at the time Phillip went missing. I will never forget that day. Phillip looked moments away from death. The stench and the blood were overwhelming. He couldn’t stand, and he could barely speak. The lash of the whip had shredded his clothes.”
To picture the strong man she knew being carried to safety by his friends was more than she could bear. Tears welled in her eyes as she pictured Phillip with his mind and body beaten, and his heart betrayed. Charlotte longed to run to him. She wanted to tell him she loved him and that she would never betray or hurt him; but she could not. The only reason Phillip was here was to deliver her to his superior so she could relay Nikoli’s information. Their intimacy was nothing more than a passing whim fed by mutual attraction. It could be nothing more unless Phillip wanted it to be. Charlotte knew if he asked, she would readily give him her heart.
Louis sensed her melancholy. “The scars on his soul and heart are not as easy to mend as those of his flesh. Believe me, I know. But you must stand by him, Miss Bradley. Phillip would be a fool to let you go. Although he is loyal, he is also stubborn, and that is what you must try to overlook. Even if he has feelings for you, he may think it is in your best interest to not mention them. You may need to be the one to make the first move.”
Earlier Louis had tried to speak some sense into Phillip before dinner, before Charlotte had walked in. They had a heated discussion about the attraction apparent between the couple. From what Louis had seen, Charlotte was a lovely, intelligent woman, and strong to boot. She obviously had feelings for Phillip. Louis was happy for them and encouraged Phillip to pursue the relationship.
Phillip had been pig-headed as usual, spouting nonsense about duty to crown and country. Louis wasn’t blind; he knew Phillip was trying to find an excuse to deny he loved the woman. Louis called him out on it, but then they had been interrupted by Charlotte’s entrance. He knew it would take a lot for Phillip to admit he was wrong. He hoped it wouldn’t be too late, or Phillip would lose Charlotte forever.
Louis was resigned to the fact that they wouldn’t resolve anything, so he turned to Charlotte. “I do not think it bears dwelling on tonight. You need to sleep before you leave in the morning. Although you are in France, it is still dangerous. Even some of my countrymen work for the enemy. Stay close to Phillip and do what he says. He’ll keep you safe.”
“Thank you, Louis. You have been most kind to me.”
Louis offered his arm and escorted her out of the gallery. As she climbed the stairs, she felt as if she were being watched. She turned and saw Phillip standing in the library's doorway. The heat of his stare both frightened and excited her.
After Louis left Charlotte at her bedroom door, she laid in bed, wondering if Phillip would come to her. He had made no promises when he had woken her earlier, and he had spoken little at dinner. Hurt and frustrated, Charlotte turned over and tried her best to sleep. She thought he could at least come in to say good night.
Chapter 11
The next day, Charlotte was dressed before dawn. She and Phillip ate a quick breakfast before setting out again on horseback. She thanked Louis for his hospitality. He told her to come again the next time she was in France, which she agreed to do.
The horses galloped down the lane, onward to the next leg of their journey . The pair rode in silence until they broke for lunch. During their ride Charlotte saw no hint of the man who had shared her bed yesterday. She wanted the Phillip who whispered sweet words in her ears and set her body on fire with his touch. Today, he seemed cold and distant.
Phillip stood up. “We should get going. We still have quite a way to go before we make camp for the night. Can you make it?”
There were no endearments in his voice, nothing to give away his thoughts. He had shut himself down to her. This was the Phillip who served in Her Majesty’s Service; aloof and unfeeling, with one goal on his mind, to succeed with the task at hand. At least one of them was strong enough to cut off their feelings before things had gotten carried away.
Charlotte stood as well. “Do you think we’ll make it?”
“If we keep a steady pace, we should.”
**********
Phillip knew he was being rude to Charlotte, but he had to keep their relationship professional. After making love to her, he knew he was close to losing his heart. He couldn’t risk it, not again. Plus, Charlotte had said she would never love another man after what she had been through. It was best to stop things before they got carried away.
In another day or two, they would never see each other again. Charlotte had her life to live at home, with her family, and Phillip would continue as he had been these last months. He knew he had nothing to offer Charlotte. His work for the government had left his body scarred and his soul blackened. There was a war going on, and Lord knew if he would be killed. He was past the point of redemption.
Louis had certainly given Phillip a piece of his mind last night. He thought Phillip a fool for not talking to Charlotte about his feelings. He told Phillip that it was best to leave the past behind him. The problem was, he wasn’t sure how to move on. So many of his actions, since his imprisonment, had been spurred on by his anger over those events.
Phillip preferred dangerous missions, and he never took time to rest. When he did stop, his thoughts turned dark. No matter what he did, he could not escape the nightmares. Last night, he had slept well. Perhaps it was because he finally had something good to dream about.
Glancing at Charlotte, he was reminded of last night. She had been an enchantress sent to seduce him. For the rest of his life, he would remember her standing beside the tub with the water dripping off her body, like a goddess. She had been so receptive to his touch. The sound of her orgasm had been enough to drive him wild. When they came together, an unknown sense of peace overtook Phillip, and it frightened him.
Louis had urged Phillip to take a chance with Charlotte, but he still wasn’t sure. For now, he would keep his distance. There would be no repeat of last night, no matter how much he wanted it. He would escort her to the meeting house and finish the job they sent him to do. Perhaps, Phillip would seek her out after some time had passed, and they had both had time to think about their feelings for each other. He knew all too well what could happen with jumping into an affair too soon.
Phillip monitored the surrounding landscape. They would have to find a place to camp for the night before they lost the light of day. He hated doing this to Charlotte again, but he knew it was better than going to an inn where their enemies might discover them. The pair rode for another hour before Phillip found a cropping of trees, close to the road, where they would shelter for the night.
Phillip tended the horses while Charlotte collected fire kindling. When he returned from the horses, Charlotte had already built a fire. The woman was not timid and could take care of herself. As he came closer, Charlotte looked up. For a moment, Phillip wanted to wrap her in his arms and kiss away the worry he saw on her face, but he thought better of it.
“Hopefully, it won’t be too cold tonight.”
Charlotte went back to work on the fire. “Do you think we’ll be spotted from the road?”
“Everyone has to sleep sometime. Plus, it would be difficult to make
our way on the road in the dark. I think we’ll be fine.”
After the fire was burning bright, Charlotte went into one of the saddlebags and retrieved their provisions. She divided up the dried meat, cheese, and bread for their dinner. Louis had been kind enough to give them a bottle of wine, which they scantily sipped.
They ate the meal in silence. Phillip tried to break the tension with small talk. “Will your family be waiting for you when you return to London?”
Charlotte’s head turned at his words. Her mind had wandered and took a moment to answer. “My brother and father will be in London. They go there a few times a year for business. They were going to meet us when we returned home.”
“What type of business is your family in?” He wasn’t sure if he was making idle conversation or if he truly wanted to know more about Charlotte.
“My father owns textile companies throughout southern England. He travels to London to talk to the merchants with whom he does business. My brother is learning the business and is expected to take it over someday. It is like you taking the title from your father, I suppose.”
“At least your brother has a choice, while I do not. If I refuse the title, it goes to my cousin. That would make everyone unhappy, especially my father. Unlike your brother, I am trapped by the circumstance of my birth.”
Charlotte put down the food she was eating. “Is that why you do this? Risk your life and galivant around the continent?”
Suddenly, the conversation had Phillip’s full attention. Charlotte had taken an innocent conversation and turned it around on him. Instead of pleasantries, she would dissect his reasons for being a spy. She did it with so little effort. He glared at her. “I do it because I’m good at what I do. If I don’t do it, who will? Admit it; there are not many men who would risk their lives for their country. Many voice their support, but when it comes to doing the deeds, they all want to stay safe and sound at home.”
The Way to a Spy’s Heart: A Steamy Victorian Historical Spy Series (Romancing Intrigue Book 1) Page 9
