by Mae Doyle
What the hell was wrong with me? The rage I felt for Etris was being replaced by lust, and as I looked at the three gods watching me, I realized just how badly I wanted them. All of them.
Let’s say they really were my fated mates. How the hell was I going to choose just one?
Chapter 18
“Emily.” Aruer’s voice snapped me back to reality and I took a deep breath, bracing my hands on the table to try to stabilize myself.
I just went somewhere in my mind, somewhere that I never thought that I’d go. My core was still burning and I shifted position, pressing my legs together to try to calm the fire raging between them, but it only made me throb harder and I let out a small moan.
Oh, fuck. I was dripping wet and I hoped that the gods wouldn’t be able to tell, but something about the way they were looking at me made me think that they already knew my little secret.
Sorus skimmed my body, his eyes sliding up and down me, and licked his lips. My breathing quickened at the sight of his tongue darting out and over his lips. I suddenly wanted to reach out for him, pulling him to me, and press my body against his.
I knew what it was like to kiss a god, and it was something that I wasn’t ever going to forget. My body still trembled when I thought about Aruer’s hands on me.
But what would it be like to kiss three gods?
“I have to go. I need fresh air,” I said, stumbling away from the table. All three of them moved like they were going to help me or catch me to keep me from falling, but I waved them away. “I’m fine. I just…I need to breathe. I can’t breathe in here. I’m okay.”
I was certainly not okay. There was a throbbing in my body that was harder and more insistent than my heartbeat. It made me gasp each time it ripped through me. I was hot, my core licked with flames to the point where I thought that I might burst if I didn’t get some relief.
This wasn’t natural, right? There’s no way that people felt this way each time they wanted to be with someone else. They wouldn’t be able to get anything done.
The throbbing intensified as I practically ran away from the table. I hit the doors in front of me, throwing them open so I could get out into the courtyard.
Before, I’d wanted nothing more than to kill Etris. Suros told me that I could kill her. I should be focusing on that, not imagining what it would be like to have all three of them have their hands on me. I moaned, falling to my knees in the garden, and grabbed my head with my hands, squeezing it tightly.
Was this what it was like to have fated mates? Was it all real and that’s why I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t do something? If I didn’t have them touch me or caress me?
I screamed, throwing my head back. My hair floated around me as I moved, a red reminder of my powers, and without thinking, I slammed my hands down onto the ground, digging my fingertips into the grass.
The scream ripped through my body and I felt energy pouring out of my hands. They were cold, but increasingly hotter as power tore through me and exited my body, rushing into the ground. I didn’t know if this was a good way to deal with the stress and power that I felt, but it had to be better than letting it build up inside of me until I popped.
My skin grew hot and I felt sweat break out all over my body, but I still screamed, taking deep breaths between them. Power flowed from me, magic crackling the air around me and making it feel electric, but I didn’t feel any better.
I’d thought that this would be a great way to get rid of some power and energy, but it only felt like it was increasing. I wasn’t getting any release. I was hotter than before, my entire body buzzing with the energy that I was channeling.
“Fuck!” I screamed, slamming my hands down on the ground. When I opened my eyes and looked around me, I gasped. The grass was burnt to a crisp in a circle around me. Smoke rose from the crispy black blades. I stood up, brushing off my jeans, but each time I touched something, sparks flew from my skin.
I was hot. Too hot. My insides felt like they were melting, and not in the good way that I felt when the gods locked eyes with me. Everything was coming apart and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to hold myself together.
I had to do something. I had to find water and jump in it or…
Wydar was in front of me. “I can help you.” He sounded worried, like he wasn’t sure if he would be welcome, but I walked to him, my feet crunching through the dead grass. “I can take this away, Emily, and make you feel better, but you have to be okay with it. You have to want it. I’m not going to just…do it to you. If I do then it won’t be complete and it won’t really help. Do you want me to – ”
I couldn’t handle him talking any longer. I thought that I knew what he meant, and I needed it from me. Sure, he could rest his hands on me and take the heat from me, pulling it from my body so that I got some relief that way, but it woudn’t be enough. I would still be throbbing and aching, and I would be back in the same situation all over again.
Or he could really pull it from me. I wanted him. Fuck that, I needed him, fated mate or no.
Wydar gasped at the heat of my skin as I wrapped my arms around his neck and he ran his hands up my arms, chilling them. The sweat froze on my skin, but I was so hot that it immediately melted. There was a fire burning inside of me and I needed him to put it out or I wasn’t going to survive.
“Please, Wydar,” I whispered, tilting my head up to look into his face. “You have to help me. I know what you need to do. I’m going to explode if you don’t.”
It was true, all of it, and he and I both knew it. His blue eyes were focused on me and only me, and he ran one hand up my back, chilling my spine. The cool felt amazing, but it didn’t last.
There was only one thing that would help me cool down. Only one thing that was going to save me from dying out here in the garden, and he was the only one who could give it to me. Wydar was the one god who could save me from the power and the heat tearing me up inside, and I needed him.
I told him that, and that’s what it took. He forked his hand through my hair, electricity crackling as he did, and pulled my head back so that he could kiss me. His lips were hotter than I expected, warm with passion, and he forced my mouth open to allow his tongue to slip into my mouth.
I moaned, tightening my grip on the back of his neck as he kissed me, slowly deepening the kiss, his mouth hungry and demanding as he pulled me closer to him.
I felt some of the power and heat in my body subside, but it wasn’t enough. There was a fire burning in my core, and the flames threatened to burn me from the inside out. I was filled with rage and power and Wydar needed to help me calm it all down.
Here.
Now.
I didn’t care what anyone thought or saw. I needed my god and he was going to have to give me everything if I was going to survive this.
“Emily,” he whispered, pulling back, “are you sure that you want this? There may be other ways to help you.”
I didn’t want to hear that. Stepping back from him, I kept my eyes locked on him and stripped off my jacket. He watched me, breathing hard. I could see his chest rising and falling under his shirt. Before I could move again, he raised his hand and snapped.
Darkness fell around us, creating a shield that guarded us from prying eyes. We could still see each other, but around us was murky. Hidden. Private.
“I need you. Please,” I begged, tugging on the hem of my shirt. It slipped off of my head easily and I tossed it to the side, breathing hard as I watched him.
“Come here,” he commanded, and I did what he said. This man – this god – could tell me to do most anything and I would willingly follow his command.
I reached him and slipped my hands under his shirt, running them over his strong muscles. He was wrapped in muscle, and as soon as I pulled his shirt off, I ran a trail of kisses up his stomach. He had a perfect V leading down into his pants, and even though I’d never been with a man, I knew what was there.
I wanted it from him.
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br /> “Emily,” he gasped, pulling me from his chest to kiss me again. His hand worked quickly at my back, removing my bra, and he palmed my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers until they hardened. I cried out at his cool touch as he pulled heat from my body, and then he dropped his head to one nipple, sucking it into a point.
It felt amazing. Pain and pleasure shot through my body straight to between my legs, making me ache even more for him. I couldn’t stop, and I fumbled for his pants, trying to undo them, but he pinned my arms against my sides, holding me in place.
“Just wait a moment, Emily,” he murmured, running a line of kisses up along my collarbone to my ear. “I promise you that I’ll take the magic from you, but I want to make sure that you enjoy it at the same time.”
His kisses were light on my skin and I arched my back, pressing my chest up against him. He was so cold, and I needed all that he had to give me. Just when I thought that I wouldn’t be able to handle it any longer, he dropped to his knees in front of me.
Like he was worshipping me.
“Now, Emily,” he said, slowly unbuttoning my pants, “let me take you to heaven. You’re going to take me there, too.” I shivered under his touch, my entire body aching for him. I didn’t know how much longer I could wait, and he was moving maddeningly slow, taking his time.
“I need you,” I panted, my words pouring out of me as I pushed his hands to the side and slipped out of my clothes. He was still half-dressed, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable being fully naked in front of him.
On the contrary, it felt right. It felt like everything that I’d been waiting for, and exactly what I needed to be able to make it through the rest of the day without falling apart.
Wydar knelt in front of me, and he slid his cool hands up my burning legs, pushing them slightly apart. I gasped as his breath cooled my skin. He nipped lightly up my inner thighs, working his way to the burning heat between my legs.
Moaning, I grabbed his hair and bucked my hips towards him. I didn’t know what I wanted from him, I only knew that I had to have whatever it was that he was going to give me or I was going to fall apart. Wydar pulled back for a moment and murmured something.
I couldn’t quite catch it, but before I could ask him to repeat himself, he leaned forward, his tongue lapping against my heat. Instantly, more flames shot up through my body. I felt them shooting through me, threatening to melt my bones. This time when I ground my hips forward, he reached around me with one hand, pinning me in place so that he could taste me.
I felt his tongue flick in and out, sliding up my slit, his tip swirling around my clit. The sensation was amazing, his cool breath and tongue pulling heat from me, but it wasn’t enough. With his free hand, Wydar reached up, slipping a finger into me.
I gasped.
It was the first time I’d been with a man, and I was tight. He stroked me at the same time that he wound his tongue around my clit, lapping and sucking at me.
My nerves were all on fire and I felt them start to shoot, energy pulsing through me. Even though I was exhausted, I felt more alive than ever. My heart pounding in my chest and I had my eyes clamped shut, my head thrown back.
I couldn’t have formed any words if I’d tried. Wydar slipped another finger in me and I cried out, reaching down for him. My hands slipped uselessly off of his strong shoulders.
“Wydar,” I mewed, “please – ”
Please what? I wasn’t even sure what I was going to ask him to do, but it sure as hell wasn’t going to be to stop. Wydar ignored me, sucking harder on my clit, his nails digging into my ass as he held me to his face to taste me.
I wasn’t going to be able to hold it together, but I didn’t want this. I wanted to be with him, and I grabbed his hair, pulling his head up.
He looked up at me, grinning, his fingers still working and stroking in me. “My darling Emily, do you want me to stop?”
No. Gods, no, I didn’t want him to stop, but I didn’t want this. I want to feel him in me. I gestured uselessly at him and at the ground, and to my relief, he understood.
“You can have it both ways,” he warned, his fingers still working their magic in me.
Somehow, I managed to shake my head. I needed release, and Wydar was the one to give it to me, but I wanted him. All of him. I needed to feel him in me, moving and taking me for his own. He claimed to be my fated mate, and now I needed to get all of that from him.
Wydar let go of me and waved his hand at the ground. Thick grass sprung up around us, lush and full, and I pulled me down to him. I reached for him, helping him out of his pants, and gasped when his cock sprung free.
I mean, I’d never seen a naked man before, but I was pretty sure that they didn’t make them like this on earth. “Will you fit?” I managed after a second. When I reached out and ran my hand over his bulb and down his shaft, Wydar moaned, closing his eyes for a moment.
“I promise you it will,” he said, stretching his body over mine. I laid back, my skin hotter now than before. What Wydar had done to me had taken me close to the edge but not given me release, and I needed it. I felt like my skin was on fire, but more than that, like I was being consumed from the inside out.
“Please, Wydar,” I begged, but I barely had time to get his name out of my mouth. He centered himself between my legs. I was hot and soaking for him, and with one thrust he filled me, his huge cock stretching me as he stroked into me.
“Fuck!” I cried out, throwing my head back into the grass. When I closed my eyes, I didn’t see black. I saw a dizzying array of stars that explode and reformed as he rocked into me. He stroked my cheek then leaned down to nuzzle my breasts, sucking each nipple until they were cold and hard. He was draining me from the heat of my energy.
I rocked with him, reaching up to hold him in place. My nails dug into his skin as I pulled him as close as possible. He thrust deeper, his cock filling me more and more, and I tilted my hips up to meet him. I was covered with a thin layer of sweat, my core growing tighter and tighter.
Our hearts beat together. I knew this because I could feel his pounding in his chest as he took me for his own.
“My fated mate,” he whispered, his voice in my ear giving me chills. “I promise you that I will take care of you. I’ll always take care of you.”
I heard him, and I wanted to respond, but I couldn’t get my body to behave and do what I wanted it to. My core was trembling, and I realized that he had pushed me as close to the edge as possible without actually throwing me over it. In just a moment, though, he was going to pitch me over the edge.
I felt myself coming apart at the seams, and I pulled him closer to me, forcing his cock in me as deep as it would go. He wasn’t going to show me any mercy, I knew it, and I loved him for it.
“I’m yours,” I breathed, but I didn’t know who I was talking to.
Him.
Aruer.
Suros.
All of them.
Was it possible to belong to three gods?
I couldn’t think about that.
I couldn’t think about anything. Lights exploded in my brain and I felt a freezing cold wash over my body, chasing the heat of magic out of me. I screamed out Wydar’s name, holding onto him for dear life as I shattered around him, falling, completely out of control.
I was drowning. I was spiraling through space. I was completely without any way to make it back down to earth or to safety.
Except for him.
He had me pinned under him, my body writhing in pleasure, all of my nerves overloaded as he continued to stroke in and out of me. He murmured my name in my ear, and I latched onto that as the one thing that would help me to find my way back from the pleasure that I felt.
“You’re okay, Emily,” he said again, brushing a tear from my cheek. It froze immediately, glinting like a diamond in the light when I opened my eyes to look at it.
My body was drained. I felt every nerve in me crying out, every muscle felt like I’d run a race, but the heat that
was threatening to tear me apart was gone. It was replaced with a cool relaxation as I felt Wydar pump into me. Calm bloomed through me as I felt him pour himself into me, his life seeping into mine, his cool and safe being claiming me for his own.
He claimed me for his own, on a patch of grass in the Autumn realm, and I hadn’t had a choice. It was what I needed to do to survive.
To live.
I wasn’t sure if having sex with a god meant that I was going to hell, but it was worth the risk. Wydar rolled off of me and I felt his chill leave me.
I wasn’t cold. I wasn’t hot. I felt like me, and I hadn’t felt that in a while. Slowly I sat up, reaching for him to pull him to sit, too.
“Thank you,” I finally managed.
“You are my fated mate,” he responded, lifting my chin with his fingers so that he could look at me. “My job is to take care of you. I have to make sure that you are safe, Emily, always. And happy. I want you to rule with me.”
“You all want me to rule with you,” I responded, pointing at my clothes. They floated towards me and I snatched them out of the air, pulling my shirt on over my head and forgoing my bra. “How am I supposed to choose? What am I supposed to do when you’re all telling me that you’re my fated mate?”
We were both silent for a moment. Wydar opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.
“And how in the hell am I going to kill Etris?” A flash of heat from angry magic flushed through me but I did my best to push it down and ignore it. I couldn’t have an explosion like I just had every single time I thought about her.
“You really want to kill her?” Wydar sounded worried.
“Why wouldn’t I? She ruined my family.” I knew that it wasn’t the whole truth – that my family had made this agreement, but that was generations ago. I hated being punished for something that I didn’t do.
That my sister didn’t do.
“You have to be careful, Emily. Killing Etris will do a lot of harm.” It was obvious that he was trying to be careful when choosing his words.
“Then Suros shouldn’t have mentioned it,” I snapped, and immediately felt terrible. Wydar hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, he’d done just the opposite.
