Noyoko sniffed. “Mrs. Friedman, I am a woman of science. None of this is plausible. I’m going to have some blood tests and find out what really happened.”
Juro sent me an apologetic look, but spoke up. “I have two questions,” he said.
“What is the first one?”
“Why is the Buddha statue covered in blood? I thought it was supposed to oversee the ceremony. It should have been clean.”
I squirmed in place, thinking of how to answer that question. “I used the Buddha to smash the imp.”
Juro gaped like the fish he used to be.
Noyoko snorted. “You are off your rocker. There is a real, scientific, provable reason for why I can’t remember this day, and I will work with real doctors to find it. Don’t chatter to me about imps and fox spirits. Juro, let’s go. We have many restoration projects, thanks to this one-woman wrecking machine.”
Juro stood there, blinking at me as he processed what I’d said. “I’m not sure what fate has in store for you, Mrs. Friedman.”
Noyoko tugged on his sleeve. “Come on. Don’t waste time with this charlatan. Oh, good, the police. Sir. Sir?” Officer Bob turned to her. “Something very strange has happened in this museum today, and I believe this woman is a part of it.”
“What do you think happened, Professor Noyoko?” he asked.
“I am unsure right now, but I will gather facts and evidence. I suspect drugs and hypnotism were involved.”
“I can assure you, Professor, neither of those were a part of what happened.” Officer Bob had redressed, but with his black eye and missing tooth, he looked like gangbanger after a bad day.
“We’ll see. And clean up, Officer. You aren’t a good representative for the force.”
“Yes, ma’am. You’re welcome.” His jaw was locked, so I had to lean in to hear him. Noyoko tried to flounce off, but Juro held her hand and had more on his mind.
“I have another question.”
“What is it?” I sat in a chair and pulled another one over so I could rest my feet. My knees were throbbing.
“The egg. I was cleaning up the mess in the room a moment ago and accidentally dropped the egg. It was raw. The yolk went everywhere.”
“Yeah, so? You said we needed one raw egg.”
“No, I didn’t. I said we needed one egg.”
“You did!”
“I didn’t. A hard-boiled would have been fine, and easier to procure, I would think. Who comes into a museum looking for one raw egg?”
Officer Bob gave a sharp intake of breath and sank to the floor, laughing, gasping for air. “Oh, my goodness…Oh, this is priceless. Wait until I tell Captain Morgan…Oh, oh, oh dear…”
I straightened my shoulders, sniffed, stood, and limped away. I turned before leaving. “Professor Noyoko, the sticky stuff in your hair might be chewing gum.”
“Chewing gum! How’d that get there?”
“I have no idea.”
Chapter Fourteen
“We got to go to the Planetarium, Dad, even though that usually costs extra because some of the museum had to be closed due to a fox spirit,” David said, bouncing up and down in his chair as he told the family about the day. It was Nathaniel, me, the three kids, and Blaze, our resident phoenix.
Being totally Nathaniel, Nathaniel replied, “Wow. That sounds great, David. I’m sure Mommy will tell me more about the fox spirit later. How was it having Mom on the field trip?”
“Awesome.” David bit his lip.
“It is okay, David, you can be honest,” I said.
“Well,” David cast me a sorry face, “I would have liked it if she was with us more, but I understand that monster hunting comes first.”
OUCH. Can we say work/life balance? I hid my face by looking down at my knees and rearranging the ice packs.
Nathaniel saw my stricken face. “David, you and this family come first, not monster hunting. But monster hunting is a way that Mom can keep all of us, and other people, safe. Like a policeman, but without a badge. Or a hat. Or an official car, a uniform, or handcuffs. Hey, this job doesn’t have enough perks.” He said this to me with a smile, and we played footsie under the table. Gosh, I loved him.
“I know, but I worry she’ll get hurt,” David said to his father.
“Your mom is good at her job, and we have to trust her to do all that she can to be as careful as possible, but we both understand your worries.”
“David,” I finally said. “I won’t tell you that my job isn’t dangerous sometimes, but lots of jobs are dangerous. Remember when we watched the construction workers high up in the air walk on the girders?”
“Sure, Mom, but they don’t have monsters trying to push them off the girders.”
The kid had a point.
“But, I do know what you mean.” His tone of voice just about killed me.
David quirked his head, and I knew Blaze was talking to him telepathically. David’s lips twitched, became a smile, and then, without anyone else knowing why, David laughed a so hard he got the hiccups.
“Anyone want to tell me what is going on?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, glaring at Blaze.
“Hic! Nope, Mom. Hic! We weren’t making fun of you, no way.” He hid his face behind his hands, but the sounds he made were one step from hysteria. Blaze ruffled his feathers and looked across the yard to avoid my eyes. Devi poked him, and Blaze must have shared the joke with her because she burst out laughing, too, which was gross because she spurted lemonade out her nose. That made Daniel giggle, and soon the whole family was laughing, half of it at my expense, but the laughter felt so good, I didn’t care.
Later, when Nathaniel and I cuddled in bed, Nathaniel stroked my arm, the signal for let’s make nookie or I’ve got to say something you won’t like. I was hoping for the nookie.
“Jess.”
I stiffened. “Yes.”
“The kids are going to worry about you, as do I. Could you possibly give what we talked about some more thought?”
“Retire?”
“Find another way to help.”
“I’ll give it some thought, but it isn’t that easy.”
“Think about it?”
“Promise. Go to sleep.”
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling while Nathaniel snored beside me. My stomach churned, and my heart beat fast as I pondered the most important question.
I hadn’t made up my mind until the day before yesterday to chaperone the field trip, so how the hell did the imp know I was going to be there?
The thought made me get out of bed and wander to the living room, where I’d placed the little jade Buddha I’d bought from the museum gift shop. I fingered the tomahawk that lay next to it. I’d need to store the ‘hawk somewhere safe, but I enjoyed holding it. It seemed to hum in my hand as if it had woken up and was happy to back in action. I hadn’t intended to take it, but it was in my hand, and if it slipped into David’s backpack? Who’s to know?
I held the Buddha in my hands, sat back on my heels, and placed the Buddha to my heart chakra. I settled in and muttered the only mantra I knew, which was to Ganesh, not Buddha, but I was improvising. I intoned the four words, taking care to express each syllable.
“Ohm Gam Ganapataye Namaha.” Deep breath.
“Ohm Gam Ganapataye Namaha…” I forced my mind to focus, bringing awareness to my body, how I felt physically, mentally, and the crack in my spirit that doubted, hated, angered. In my heart, I apologized to Buddha for using his representation to annihilate an imp. It was an odd prayer, but I’m nothing if not truthful, especially when speaking to the Divine, no matter the aspect.
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
I spent the next day running errands, playing with the kids, and making schnitzel. I made enough for our supper and made another couple pieces for Rabbi Stein. I drove to the synagogue in the late afternoon to find my spiritual mentor.
; “Rabbi?”
“Come in, Jess.”
I handed him the Tupperware containing the food, and he opened a corner to take a sniff. “That is going to be delicious, Jess. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It is my pleasure. I care for you, Rabbi.”
He gestured to my normal chair and let his creaky body settle into an equally creaky chair.
“I care about you, as well, which is why I am glad you stopped by.”
“I don’t understand.”
“How did the museum trip go?” He asked this while sitting back in his chair, eyes closed.
“It wasn’t what you expected.” I told him the gist of the story.
“Was it what you expected?”
“No. Yes. Crazy things happen all the time in my line of work.” I licked my lips, unsure where this was heading.
“How’s David?”
“He’s good. He loved the museum.”
“But you were not actually with him, right? You were ridding the world of an evil imp and rescuing two people from possession.”
“Exactly.”
“I think you should spend time asking why you are being presented with all of these obstacles.”
“What do you mean?” I was totally confused.
“Something is coming, Jess. These events are getting you ready for what is to come.”
“Oh, that doesn’t sound menacing.”
He smiled. “I want you to stay on top of your game, Jess. You’re going to be tested.”
I drove home thinking about what Rabbi Stein had said. Tested. Tested how? What could possibly test me to my limit?
I walked up the stairs to be greeted by three kids talking at once, each grabbing a leg or an arm, and a gorgeous man handing me a glass of white wine. This is what I fought for; these are the people who make life worth living.
The thought stopped me flat. My family. Nathaniel noticed my face and sent me a look. “You okay?” he mouthed over the kids’ heads.
I swallowed hard, reclaimed my thoughts, let the anxiety go, and laughed when the kids tried to make a pyramid. Daniel, the little one, insisted on being on the bottom, and Devi was trying to reason with him, explaining why he should be on top. I could have told her that reasoning with a three-year old was useless, but I chose not to, letting her work that through herself. When Daniel stomped his tiny foot and Devi threw up her hands, I laughed hard. It felt great.
There was a thump on the front door, and I thought that Angie had stopped by. I continued giggling as I walked to the door and opened it. I fell silent, squinting at who had come to visit.
There was a wolf at my door.
Handle with Care
Chapter One
I sucked in the gummy material, trying desperately to breathe. The muck ran down my face in thick clumps, clogging my nose and mouth. It was only my training that allowed me to keep calm, hold what was left of my air, and wipe the goo from my face. As soon as my nostrils and mouth were free, I inhaled a glorious breath and licked my lips.
Sweet, cloying, annoyingly toothsome, but David loved it.
Getting smashed in the face with a cake was a normal birthday tradition in the Friedman house, but why I was the one who got the face smack when it was David’s ninth birthday, I didn’t know. At least it was only one slice.
I opened one eye, blinking white frosting off my eyelashes, and stared at my son. “Are you happy now?”
David nodded in big ups and downs, hopping with excitement. “That was awesome, Mom! Gleeeeeep!”
I had grabbed a generous piece of cake and smashed it right in David’s face. He shook off the frosting, his eyes shining. “Good one!” All his friends laughed, including his besties, James and Jack, Angie’s older set of twins. Angie was my best friend, in fact, my only female friend, and she was there with the younger twins, Rose and April.
The wolf was there too, hiding under the deck, keeping a close eye on the kids. She’d shown up at my door a couple of days ago, told Blaze, our resident phoenix, “Danger is near,” and that she came to watch the pups, meaning my children.
Not alarming at all. Nah.
The wolf came from the zoo where I’d had a wee fight with a were-gorilla turned zombie were-gorilla in the past. The wolves helped me kill the gorilla and had partaken of his flesh. The main effects seemed to be increased intelligence and a cat burglar’s ability with locks.
I wasn’t sure if the zoo officials knew she was here, but I figured what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. If a wolf says danger is coming and she’s here to protect your children, I believe you simply say, “Thank you.” There’s no manual for such an occurrence, much less defined etiquette, but it seemed the right course of action.
Now, I was having a birthday party with nine children, the rule being the number of guests equal the age of the birthday child, plus a few parents, my husband, a wolf, and a phoenix. I’d also placed my small Buddha statue in the window facing out. Ever since I’d bought him from a museum gift store, he’d liked to be a part of the action. Buddha had helped me exorcise a Japanese fox spirit, a kitsune, from a visiting professor at the museum and kill a pint-sized vile demon named Zric, so I brought him home in jade form.
“Mrs. Friedman?” A boy from the neighborhood stood next to me, bopping from one foot to the other.
“Hi, Brian. Bathroom is inside, down the hall.”
“No, ma’am. I don’t need to go.”
I took a quick glance around and noticed all the boys were paying attention to our conversation. Brian had been drafted.
“What is it, Brian?”
“Can we ride your pony? We don’t know anyone else who has a pony.”
“Pony? We don’t have a…oh, right. You know, he’s more of a donkey-pony, an ass if you will, but I’ll go talk to him.”
Brian bit his lip in concentration, trying to make heads or tails of what I’d said, but he nodded at the end, not understanding what I’d meant, but accepting that this might be one step closer what he wanted.
I skipped down the stairs from the deck to the yard and walked over to talk to the pony.
I am not an ass.
My lips quirked, and I tried not to laugh, I really did, but it was impossible. I rotated away from the children so my back was to them and held onto Blaze’s wing. To the kids who didn’t see past the glamour, I was guiding my pony toward the back of the yard.
I told you we don’t give rides. I am not a pack animal.
“I know you aren’t, but the kids see a pony. That’s all on you. You cast that glamour.”
I have to glamour myself as something close to my size. Conservation of matter, Einstein, or did you skip that class?
“Testy. You could’ve been a donkey.”
You aren’t helping.
“Or a cow.”
I won’t forget this.
“You’ll do it? Okay!” I turned toward the kids. “Who is first on the pony? Make a line.”
Blaze did the spectacular eye roll thing that only a phoenix can do. His eyes are so large that when he rolls them, they look like moons circling the Earth.
This is ignominious. I hope none of my brothers and sisters see this.
“You have brothers and sisters? Where are they? How many?” I peppered him with questions because he’d never mentioned family.
Put the first kid on.
“Okay! Brian, you asked on behalf of everyone, so you get the first ride. This is Eeyore, yes, like the grumpy character in Winnie the Pooh. You sit here,” I said, positioning his legs on either side of the phoenix, “and hold here.” I pointed toward the space where Blaze’s long neck met his body. The feathers at this part were bronze metal, so I held my breath to see what it was that Brian felt beneath his hands.
“His mane is so soft!” Brian’s smile was beautiful, wide and full-on. A happy kid enjoying a pony ride at a birthday party. I whispered to Blaze, “Thank you. You have no idea how happy he is.”
Blaze gave a grudging nod. I lik
e to make the kids happy.
“Yeeyahhhh!” yelled Brian, and Blaze took off. He took off at a speed that felt normal to him but was way too fast for a little kid. “Eeyore! Slow down!” The other parents had jumped up, prepared to stop the pony and rescue the boy. The other children were hollering, “Go, go, go!”
Blaze slowed to a sedate pace and finished a circle around the yard. Brian slid off, his cheeks red with wind and happiness. “That was awesome! Why did you make him slow down?”
“Safety, Brian. You don’t have a saddle or a helmet. It could be hard to hold on.”
If you think you are putting a saddle on me, you have another think coming…
“Let’s see, who’s next?” I lifted the new boy onto Blaze’s back, and Blaze harrumphed off.
“Jess?” One of the moms, also a neighbor, stood next to me with a sweet smile.
“Hi, Judy. Thanks for coming.”
“Oh, Joseph wouldn’t have missed this for all the world.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. I like when Joseph and David play together. They’re so close, it’s almost like brothers. I bet they’ll be friends for life.” I pictured them as adults, Joseph living somewhere erudite and academic. Maybe Boston. David living somewhere close to the action, maybe the District of Columbia, or Maryland, so he could take the metro into the city. It was a lovely thought.
Judy blinked at me. “It’s just that I was wondering if you knew that having a pony is against the Neighborhood Association policy. No livestock of any kind.”
“He’s not livestock. He’s a pony, and the house across the street has chickens. Every once in a while, they get a rooster by mistake, and I have to listen to the cockle-doodle-doo at four a.m.”
“We have an exception for chickens.”
“Great. Let’s make an exception for ponies.” I wiped my hands together. “Easy peasy.”
Judy blinked twice. I almost asked if she had something in her eye. “Jess, I am so sorry, but we can’t do that. Eeyore has to go to a stable.”
I was so glad that Blaze didn’t hear that. I bit my tongue and said, “We’ll see what we can do.”
The Devil's Been Busy Page 19
